The Heart Will Lead You Home

by Kristin Leedy

  “And then after he finished his list of all the things that were wrong about us, he stood up and walked out of the church. He didn’t kiss me, he didn’t say goodbye. Not even a nice to know you, thanks for all the good times, Lizzie.” She shrugged her shoulders. “And what am I supposed to do with that? ”

  Payton suspected she didn’t really want an answer so he held his tongue. She glanced up as the big lamp hanging above them clicked on as the last of the sun set behind the trees. “I should have known he was going to do something like this. I should have realized it from the day I met him. He was always trying to change my view on politics, or religion. Always trying to make me see why big cities and big boobs were better. Always trying to make his family seem so upper crust and make mine seem so small town country and unworthy.

  “But no, I couldn’t possibly let myself see any of those things.” She made a face and squished up her nose like she was trying to hold back tears. “God, I was so damn determined that my life just had to go right on course that I would be damned before I’d let this one get away from me. Hell, I was already six years off from my scheduled date of marriage, and if I let this one go then who else could possibly want an old spinster geek of a science nerd like myself. If I couldn’t withstand a little hardship while we were dating how would I ever learn to compromise and face the hardships when we were married?”

  Payton’s mind was burning with a thousand different thoughts, and he wanted to grab her up and shake her until some sense returned, but he didn’t. He forced himself to remain still and quiet. Forced himself to let her talk it out.

  “God, what an idiot I was,” Lizzie said to the night. “Grace tried her best to tell me what I already knew and just couldn’t face. And you,” for the first time since she’d started her ranting she looked up and directly at Payton. “You took me down to the lake and tried the best way you knew how to warn me about him, and you’d only known him for a few days. I, on the other hand, had known him for five years and didn’t even have the guts to admit that what my own conscience and my friends were telling me were the dead on truth.”

  She propped her head in her hands and closed her eyes. She was quiet for a while, and Payton didn’t realize she was crying until he heard a softly muffled sniffle. He took a step closer to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. He couldn’t provide her comfort with his words then, but thought that maybe a comforting hand would be the support she needed. Lizzie let his hands stay where they were for a minute before she stood and let them fall away.

  “I’m tired, Payton. I’m tired of being the smart one that can memorize any textbook and can diagnose an illness from ten feet away, but can’t read a guy if my life depended on it. I’m tired of investing my life in something only to find out after I’m in over my head that the dividends just aren’t going to pay out. And mostly I’m tired of being used and abused and not getting any favors in return.

  “I’m done. You know the more I think about it, the more that convent sounds better and better.” She looked down oddly at her arms and seemed to realize for the first time that she was wearing Payton’s coat. She shrugged it off and handed it back to him. Her fingers brushed his when he took the coat, and a suspicious tingle traveled up his arm.

  “Good night, Payton.” She turned and walked away. Payton couldn’t let her go, though, without saying something, anything, that might help her feel better.

  “Wait! Lizzie, come back so we can talk…” She held up a hand but didn’t stop moving away.

  “No, Payton. I’ll see you around sometime.”

  He watched her disappear into the night, and couldn’t help but feel a little bit sorry for himself, and a lot sorry for Lizzie. He didn’t know what he was going to do to help her, but one thing was certain: she had a serious aversion to men that he was going to have to overcome. He scuffed his feet through the pebbled walkway like a little boy kicking rocks as he made his way through the rest of the park toward his home. He was almost at the edge of his land when an idea struck him, and he grinned. He didn’t know all the specifics of it just yet, but the parts he did know seemed like a perfect plan.

  Chapter Thirty

  Lizzie tightened the sash on her white silk robe before she unlocked the front door to retrieve the morning paper. The sun was just beginning to come up over the horizon, and a thick sheen of dew still clung to the green grass on her lawn that was starting to turn brown with the Fall. She sipped the vanilla flavored coffee in her mug and slid her house shoes back on her feet as she shuffled down the sidewalk, her eyes half open, her goal the gray mass wrapped in plastic at the edge of the bricked walkway.

  She grumbled as she bent to fetch the paper and shuffled her way back to the house. She grumbled again, though not as vehemently, as she bent to grab the white tulip that lay across her door mat. Lizzie waited until the door was closed before she leaned back against its solid strength and sniffed the flower. A form of a smile twitched at the corners of her lips before she squashed the urge and shuffled down the central hall toward the kitchen. The tulip landed with a plop into the vase holding at least six other white tulips that were in varying degrees of freshness.

  Thirty three. That was the number of days that she had been living in her new house. It also happened to be the number of days that a single white tulip had arrived on her doorstep. She found herself waking just a little earlier every morning in hopes that she would catch whoever was putting them there, and could tell them to quit. At the same time, though, she had a hunch as to their mysterious benefactor and wondered how long he would keep it up.

  It had been a little over two months since the wedding had been called off, and in Lizzie’s opinion, so much had happened since then her head spun every time she thought of the days in between that one and today. She and her family made the trip from Edenville up to Atlanta where she graduated from EmoryUniversity’s School of Medicine. At graduation, she’d been walking across the stage to receive her diploma and paused to wave at her family back in the stands. At the top of the bleachers inside the basketball arena she thought she spotted Payton, but when she looked again he was gone, and she couldn’t be sure it wasn’t just her imagination running wild.

  She also started working in the hospital over in Clarkston, and had managed to scrape together enough money and time between working all the horrendous plebian doctor hours she’d been assigned to put a down payment on her new house. Lizzie still couldn’t believe she was now an official resident of Edenville. She always new this town would be her home one day.

  She was even considering opening a clinic of her own one day within Edenville’s city limits, but that was a long time away and she needed to repay a significant chunk of her student loans before the bank would even consider loaning her the money to purchase the land for her to build it. But at least she had a good dream going, and between that and all the time she spent at the hospital, there wasn’t enough time left in the day for her to worry about other things such as silly men who left her white tulips.

  Lizzie pulled her long curly hair up into a bun, her customary hairdo for work, and slipped into the standard issue blue scrubs she wore at the hospital. She would wait until she got to the parking lot before she slid into her medical jacket and put her stethoscope around her neck. She had just finished applying her mascara when the doorbell rang, and she jolted so suddenly that she barely missed gouging her eye out and also managed to leave a streak of black inky make-up running across her face. She cursed, grabbed a wad of toilet paper, and jogged down the stairs to open the door while tears streamed from her eye and she tried to rub the waterproof streak off her skin.

  Through the patterned glass she could see Grace’s flame red hair, so she opened the door without seeing who it was first. Grace took one look at her friend and laughed.

  “Nice. Let me guess,” she paused and tapped her forefinger across the tip of her nose, “you’re an overworked new doctor who’s trying to plead insanity by attempting to kill herself with a mas
cara wand. How close am I?”

  Lizzie rolled her one good eye. “Pretty darn.”

  “Honey, you look bad. I mean seriously, you’ve definitely seen better days.”

  “Gee, thanks Grace!” Lizzie really played up the sarcasm. “I mean, if you can’t count on your best friend to build you up, who can you count on?”

  “Oh, come on. This isn’t anything a day at the spa can’t massage out of you. And speaking of, are you ready to go?”

  “Huh? I’ve got to be at work in an hour. We’re supposed to go there on Saturday, Grace, not today.”

  “Yep, I knew it was bad, but I didn’t know it was this bad. Bean, it is Saturday.”

  “What?” She flipped the plastic off the newspaper and looked at the day and date on the front page. Lizzie slapped a hand to her forehead. “Oh, man, I have got to get a life.”

  “Exactly. So, starting now you’re my personal project for the weekend, and I don’t want to hear one peep out of you about where we go or what we do.”

  “As long as it involves a lot of hot massage oil, a good massage therapist, and some strong margaritas, I’m not saying a word.”

  “Good, now go change out of those horridly unflattering scrubs and get your butt back down here so we can go. I certainly didn’t pull my disgustingly mean morning-person self out of bed to wait around here all day. I’m giving you five minutes and then I start blowing the horn.” Grace leaned in and gave her friend a warm hug before she pinched her behind and tromped out the door and out to her car.

  She watched the door to the house as she flipped open her cell phone and punched in a speed dial number. “Hey, it’s me. Yeah, I think we’re all set. So, we’ll see you tonight? Okay, great.”

  She flipped the phone shut and smiled. She was such a terrible friend it wasn’t even funny.

  “Oh, my gosh, that was so good I think I’m going to be drooling until sometime next week,” Grace said as she hit the unlock button on her key-fob and slid into the driver’s seat.

  “Tell me about it. Between that man’s hands and the mood music, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

  “Mmm, Mark certainly is a talented masseuse. If only I could meet a man that made wild, passionate love to me and then did that, I think I’d beg him to marry me right there on the spot.” Grace didn’t even pause to look if cars were coming before she peeled out onto the road. “What about you? Are you on the market again, yet?”

  Lizzie sighed deeply and propped her elbow on the arm rest, closing her eyes on the question. Between Grace’s lack of driving skills and constant prodding into her lack of desire for a love life she could already feel her shoulders knotting back up with tension. “I don’t think so, Grace. I think I’m through with guys for a while…maybe a long while.”

  “Aww, come on, bean. You can’t hold out on men forever.”

  Lizzie bared her teeth in a ferocious smile. “Watch me.”

  “Oh, I’m watching alright. I’m watching you walk right into spinster hood and not give a damn about the consequences.” Grace flipped the radio on. “I mean seriously, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?”

  Lizzie wasn’t sure where this was headed. “Umm, yep. I did this morning when I brushed my teeth.”

  “No, seriously. When is the last time you really looked in the mirror- and don’t give me some crap about not having enough time with all the hours they’re piling on you at the hospital.” Grace waited about a half a millisecond before piping back up again. “Bean, you’re gorgeous, and it’s starting to piss me off that you can’t see that about yourself. Just because you’ve had some bad luck in the past with guys does not mean you should write them off forever and spend the rest of your life miserable.”

  Lizzie was starting to pout. “I’m not miserable.”

  “Bull. You can’t pull that crap of a lie on me, bean, and you know it. I know what Lizzie Benford looks like when she’s miserable and you are miserable.”

  “No, I’m not! I’m tired, and I’m cranky from working so many ridiculous hours trying to be the good new doctor at ClarkstonMedicalCenter.”

  “Ok, I’ll give you tired, but the only reason you’re cranky is because you haven’t been laid in a while.”

  Lizzie hissed out a breath. “You are really pushing it, Grace.”

  “No, I’m not. But just keep it up, and then you’ll be forced to see pushing it. I am not letting my best friend in the world give up on men and life just because you’ve had a hard past few months. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I gave up on you now.” Grace looked over at her and smiled. When Lizzie didn’t return the favor Grace reached over and pinched her cheeks. Lizzie pulled away and stifled a smile.

  “See I knew you could smile.” Grace took a sip of water from the plastic bottle she kept in her car. “I’m just worried about you, Lizzie. I love you, and I want you to be happy.”

  Lizzie studied Grace’s profile as she drove. “I love you, too, Carrot.”

  “Good. Then don’t forget that in a few days.”

  “What did you do, Grace?” Grace was silent. “Grace Jacobs. You answer me right now. What have you and your crazy red hair been scheming up now?”

  “Not much.”

  “I swear, Grace, if you’ve hooked me up on some stupid blind date I swear I’ll make you wear Pepto Bismol pink everything if I ever get married.”

  Grace giggled. “I didn’t set you up on a blind date, I swear it.” She made a show of crossing her fingers, crossing her heart, and sticking a needle through her eye. A minute later she said, “everything?”

  Lizzie laughed. “Yes, everything. Dress, shoes, bow, underwear, the works. If it’s pepto bismol pink then you’re wearing it.”

  “Oh, ok. Just clarifying.” She turned the radio up and sang her heart out all the way through town. Lizzie on the other hand had her mind preoccupied trying to figure out what hair brained idea Grace had cooked up. Lizzie was still working it through in her mind when Grace came to a screeching halt in front of Moe’s Pub. For all her wonderful attributes, Grace was considerably lacking in good driving skills, and it was only by the good sheriff’s grace that she still retained a driver’s license at all.

  “Remind me next time that I should be the one driving and not you.” Lizzie closed her door none too gently and pushed ahead of Grace into the bar. The bar was slightly more crowded than usual for a Saturday night and Lizzie welcomed the sight of the extra bodies milling around.

  Moe and Sally were both behind the bar tonight so they could handle the extra crowd that had come in for the weekend. It seemed that although Moe’s Pub was located just outside of Edenville people from Clarkston had discovered they liked the bar’s atmosphere and started frequenting the place as well.

  “Evening, Moe. Sally. I’d like a margarita on the rocks, please.”

  “Sure thing, Sugar pie. Rita on the Rocks comin’ up.” Sally took a glass from behind the bar and dipped the rim in salt before turning back to get the tequila.

  Grace ordered the same and squeezed in on the barstool next to Lizzie. The din of noise from all the people in the pub was almost deafening and Lizzie and Grace were close to yelling so they could be heard above the jukebox, the sound of pool balls being smacked by sticks, and people laughing in their various states of alcohol induced euphoria.

  Lizzie sipped her drink, letting the feel of the tequila slipping into her blood ease the rest of the tension the massage hadn’t quite relieved. Grace was rambling on about something one of the patrons of the town bank, Farmer’s Exchange Bank, had done that week, which of course Lizzie tried her hardest to appear interested in. She had just settled into her rendition of what her boss sounded like when he was trying to appease one of the irate drive-through customers when she paused.

  “What?” Lizzie looked over her shoulder trying to figure out why Grace had stopped short to stare.

  “I can’t believe it. You’ll never guess who I just spotted in that booth back behind the pool tables.”r />
  “Who?”

  “Little miss bully of a homecoming queen.”

  “Lou Ann?”

  “Lou Ann Hendley. And you’ll never guess who just spotted us.”

  “I’m pretty sure I can.” Lizzie and Grace both simultaneously chugged the remaining half glass of their drink. “Another one, Sally!” They cried out in unison.

  “Well, my my,” came a sugary sweet voice behind them. “Fancy meeting you two here. Did y’all finally get your big girl panties on and decide it wouldn’t hurt to get boozed up once in a while?”

  Lizzie squeezed her eyes shut and wished she didn’t have to deal with more monsters from her past. She reminded herself she’d grown up a lot since high school, and maybe Lou Ann had too; although from the sound of it she hadn’t grown up much and she was spitting mad and ready for a fight.

  She took a steadying breath and convinced herself she had given evil Lou Ann a black eye once, so she surely could do it again. She plastered the most sincere fake smile she could possible muster on her face, then spun on her barstool so she could face the enemy head-on. She forced herself to size up Lou Ann from head to toe, and was honestly surprised at what she saw.

  Lou Ann looked older, with little crow’s feet edging out from her eyes. Her skin looked pale and old, and the golden hair that had shimmered when they were younger was now dull and lifeless. Lizzie knew they were all twenty-nine and heading on toward middle age, but none of her old high school friends looked half as old as Lou Ann did.

  “Well, if it isn’t Lou Ann Hendley. Fancy meeting you here. Did you finally get tired of being cheated on and decide to come home and lick your wounds?”

  Lou Ann hissed under her breath, and narrowed her eyes into little slits. “Watch it, Lizzie. You aren’t the only one who knows other people’s dirt. I’d be real careful how much trash you throw around if I were you. I’d hate for you to have to run home crying to mama like you used to do in middle school.”