Dancing in The Duke’s Arms
Page 40
“Is it true?” he asked.
“Is what true?”
“What your sister said about me.”
“I don’t recall what she said.”
“She said I make you unhappy.” He was afraid Kitty saw what neither of them wanted to admit, that he was no suitable husband for any woman, but especially not for George. With more effort than he liked, he erased all physicals signs of emotion from his face.
George gripped handfuls of her skirts, and her continued silence extinguished any possibility of a denial from her.
“Stoke,” she whispered, miserably. “Of course you do.”
Tears would destroy him, but there were none. His heart withered at this sign of her resolve. “I wish that were not so.”
She shrugged.
“Forgive me.”
“You are the Duke of Stoke Teversault. You’ve no need of forgiveness from anyone, least of all me.”
“That is your opinion. Not mine.” He lifted a hand, then returned to his cross-armed posture. “You need not leave Teversault.”
“Under the circumstances, we cannot stay.” She faced away from him, and he watched her determined walk to the door. She unlocked the door, but stayed with her back to him, one hand on the wall at her shoulder level. Slowly, she bent her neck until her forehead rested against the door.
“Stay, George.” He could not imagine her absence. A future without her was nothing but dismal solitude.
Her hand on the wall fisted. “I cannot stay.”
“I don’t see why not.” He willed her to stay. For him. Because she could not bear to leave him. Because he was selfish. “Tomorrow I leave to deal with the special license.”
She turned and leaned against the door. “I’ve a confession to make. When you’ve heard me out, you’ll see why there’s no possible way Kitty and I can stay.” He pushed off the desk, but she put up a hand. “Don’t, Stoke. Don’t make this harder for me than it is already.”
For now, for these moments, she was here with him and he would do as she did and live with the beauty of now, no matter how bleak the future might be. He leaned against the front of the desk again, but this time turned his hands to grip the edge. “Go on, then.”
“I’m sorry. So sorry. About Lord William and Kitty, for I know you don’t approve of her. This is my fault.”
“What sort of confession is that? I know you are sorry. It’s plain enough. I’m sorry as well for my blockhead of a brother.”
“I shouldn’t have left the ballroom. If I’d been downstairs, I could have prevented this.”
He scoffed. “There’s no guarantee you would have seen either of them leave. Two young people intent on an assignation? You’ve no cause to think that is anyone’s fault but William’s. His behavior was thoroughly improper, and with Kitty, of all women.”
“Precisely.”
He gave her another hard look. “A young lady, George, who is under my protection while you two are in my house. It’s my brother who compromised her. That’s no confession at all.” He waved one hand. If he did not manage this properly, she would leave him. He did not know how he would manage if she did, except that he must. “I ought to have been keeping a better watch on William. I suspected he’d developed feelings for Kitty, what with Revers giving him competition.”
“We’ll share the blame, then.”
He gave a curt nod. “Enough of this. I can guess what devastation you mean to deliver me, so there’s no more to be said on the subject of confessions. Now, as to the matter at hand. It would be convenient for me and for William if no one had to make the journey to Uplyft Hall and back to fetch you and Kitty here for the wedding. You must be present for that. You must.”
She rested a hand on her upper chest and stared at the ceiling.
“Do not cry. I won’t permit it.”
“Stoke.” She whispered his name, and that sound would haunt him for the rest of his life, for she’d said his name just so when he’d held her in his arms. “My heart is broken. I cannot bear this. Not now. Not when the hurt is so fresh.”
He went still. Her heart was broken? Her heart? “I don’t expect that your sister’s marriage to William will be so great a trial.” He gentled his tone, for she would not wish to see her sister unhappily married. “His affection for her appears sincere.”
“Stoke.” Her sharp breath was a reproach. “No more of this. No more. Let me have my say so you understand why I cannot stay, despite the inconvenience to us all. I’ll not speak of it again, I promise you.”
“If you must.” He must reacquaint himself with the coldness she’d melted away.
She swallowed once, then again and stared at his feet. “I love you, Stoke. I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry. I promised myself, told myself it would not happen, but it did and I did not know until it was too late to change the shape you’d made of my heart. You understand now, don’t you? Everything here will remind me of you. Of us. We’ll return for the wedding. I would not miss my own sister’s wedding. Not for any reason.”
Stoke did not know what to think or feel or say, and that was not a familiar situation for him to be in. He gathered what wits he could. “You love me, yet you plan to leave me? Why?”
“Please, please, don’t say anything more.”
He crossed to her and took her by the shoulders. “I refuse. Categorically and absolutely. Why should I say nothing in response to so extraordinary a declaration?”
“You needn’t. You needn’t say anything. I don’t regret falling in love with you Not at all. If given another chance, I’d do the same, even knowing you’d break my heart.” She swallowed again. “In fact, I knew you would. I knew.”
The last of the ice around his heart vanished, and he saw what he had refused to accept. That she did love him, that she’d never have agreed to be his lover if she didn’t. “You think you can throw me over with sweet words to make your leaving me easier?” He brushed his fingers over the side of her head. “I won’t allow it. I won’t permit you that.”
She put her hands on his wrists and looked into his eyes. “You cannot stop my loving you.”
“If you love me, then do not leave me.” His voice slid low and urgent. “Don’t leave me, George. Stay with me until I am old and gray and feeble. I’m selfish, and cruel and cold. I confess it all to you—”
“That’s not so. None of that. I won’t hear you say that.”
“Then hear this. Stay and warm me with your smile when we are naked and when we are not. Look at me, George. At me.”
She did, and she was somber and grave.
“You’ve brought me out of the deepest sleep, awakened me to life. I will not give you up so easily this time.”
“This time?” She tipped her head to one side. “What do you mean?”
“You say you love me, but I say I loved you first. I watched you fall in love with Edward Lark and stayed silent.”
She stepped back. “What?”
“I meant to propose to you at Scylfe, though I imagine I would have done it badly enough that you might have refused me.”
“No. No, that can’t be. You did not say two words to me.”
“I did not care for the state of my feelings. Would you have told me yes?”
“What does that signify? If you wish to speculate then I will say if we’d married, we would have found our way. Not without trouble, since you know how difficult you are.”
He laughed.
“Lark arrived, and within a day my case was hopeless.”
“I did not know. I’d no idea.”
“I sat silent at your wedding. When William told me what had happened, I flew to you and kept my peace. I have and I must put duty before most everything else. I am not a kind man. I am not pleasant to be around. No Besett hawk has ever been handsome. Why would I think you, of all women, would love me despite that?”
“Shh.” She put a hand across his lips. “Don’t say such things.”
“I cannot image it being anything but
impossible to love me. What remains is that I love you and have loved you, and I will not let you walk away from me merely because I can’t believe you care for me.”
Her hand on his cheek was unsteady. “I do. I do love you. Foolish man. Ridiculous man.”
“Stay with me. Guard my heart, for it belongs to you.” He touched her chest over her heart. “In return, I promise I will keep your heart safe, too. We of the hawk line are fierce and faithful lovers.” He took her hand in his before he went down on one knee. “Marry me, George. My love. My heart. Marry me the moment I can get a license in hand. Will you?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He trembled at the answer, in disbelief and with a joy that swept away the world and left him with all he’d ever dreamed of for himself.
“Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.”
He stood and drew her to him, and she was in his arms when William threw open the door and strode in. “Stoke, have you any idea where George has gone, her sister wants her and I can’t—the devil! Unhand her!”
“Close the door, and take care to put yourself on the other side of it.”
“By God, I will not.”
“You had best not try my patience any longer.” He tightened his arms around her.
“You. You, Stoke! I go looking for George, and I find you in the act of seducing her.”
“Seducing her?”
William gestured at the two of them. “What else do you call that?”
“I call it holding her safe in my arms.” He drew her closer. “Safe in my heart, where she will forever remain.”
William put his hands on his hips and stared at the two of them, eyes narrowed. He looked at George and then at him, and the same several more times. “You had better mean she’s to be your duchess. If you mean anything else, I’ll thrash you.”
“The very best duchess a hawk of a man could want.”
“George.” William lifted his hands. “Are you sure you want to tie yourself to this old man?”
She leaned against Stoke’s chest. “I am.”
“Well.” William burst into laughter. “I’m damned if I know which of us is luckier, Stoke.”
“I am,” he said, and he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. She was his. His. And she was more than he deserved.
George looked into his face. “I warn you, I will make you a most unsuitable duchess.”
He tightened his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “To which I reply, my darling, there is no luckier duke in existence.”
About Carolyn Jewel
Carolyn Jewel was born on a moonless night. That darkness was seared into her soul and she became an award-winning and USA Today bestselling author of historical and paranormal romance. She has a very dusty car and a Master’s degree in English that proves useful at the oddest times. An avid fan of fine chocolate, finer heroines, Bollywood films, and heroism in all forms, she has two cats and two dogs. Also a son. One of the cats is his.
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Books by Carolyn Jewel
Historical Romance Series
The Sinclair Sisters Series
Lord Ruin, Book 1
A Notorious Ruin, Book 2
Reforming the Scoundrels Series
Not Wicked Enough, Book 1
Not Proper Enough, Book 2
Other Historical Romance
Dancing in The Duke’s Arms Anthology
An Unsuitable Duchess from Dancing in The Duke’s Arms Anthology
Christmas In The Duke’s Arms Anthology
In The Duke’s Arms from Christmas In The Duke’s Arms Anthology
One Starlit Night, a novella from the anthology Midnight Scandals
Midnight Scandals anthology
Scandal
Indiscreet
Moonlight – A Short Story
The Spare
Stolen Love
Passion’s Song
Paranormal Romance
My Immortals Series
My Wicked Enemy, Book 1
My Forbidden Desire, Book 2
My Immortal Assassin, Book 3
My Dangerous Pleasure, Book 4
Free Fall, Book 4.5, a novella
My Darkest Passion, Book 5
Dead Drop, Book 6, a short novel
My Demon Warlord, Book 7
Other Paranormal Romance
A Darker Crimson, Book 4 of Crimson City
DX, A Crimson City Novella
Fantasy Romance
The King’s Dragon, a short story
Erotic Romance
Whispers, Collection No. 1
From the Authors
If any readers are wondering about the origin of the Dukeries, it’s a real place. A section of Nottinghamshire containing several ducal estates was nicknamed the Dukeries during the nineteenth century. If anyone doubts so many dukes would live near each other, remember that truth is stranger than fiction. We do, however, doubt that the real Dukeries were ever inhabited by such a collection of young and attractive noblemen.
The four of us previously collaborated in Christmas in the Duke’s Arms, a quartet of stories set in the same part of England. And because we have such fun working together, we’re doing it again this Christmas. Look for Christmas in Duke Street in October 2015.
Grace, Shana, Miranda, and Carolyn