Perfekt Control (The Ære Saga Book 2)

by S. T. Bende

  “He’s taking one for the team,” I said with false brightness. I bit down on my molars, sending a searing pain through my jaw. The black box exploded in my chest, and before I could stop myself I blurted, “Why didn’t you tell me he had a girlfriend?”

  Mia sucked in a breath. “Butter my flapjacks… Henrik has a girlfriend? I thought he liked Brynn!”

  I snorted.

  “He had a girlfriend,” Tyr corrected. “And I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t relevant. He hasn’t seen Nea-Nea in almost two years.”

  “Nea-Nea?” Mia covered her mouth with her manicured hand. “Please tell me her parents didn’t name her that.”

  “They named her Finnea, but Henrik called her Nea-Nea. Once,” I spat out. “And she’s pure älva. Gorgeous, generous with her, eh, dust, and as you’d say Mia, warm as snow pudding.”

  “I say that?” Mia tilted her head.

  “I don’t know. Something like that. Point is, she’s a jerk.”

  “Brynn. Be nice.” Tyr bit back a smile. “She’s done a lot to help us over the years.”

  “Yeah, well, Henrik’s leveling the playing field on whatever debt you think we owe her.” I dropped my head in my hands. What happened to my control? Oh, right. The guy I’d loved forever was doing Odin-knew-what with some big-breasted fairy, and all I could do about it was bring her stupid dust back to Tyr so we could save the Goddess of Love from whoever kidnapped her—the same Goddess of Love who might never lift her embargo on my going on an actual date—and stop the realms from falling into complete and total chaos. Again.

  Sometimes being a valkyrie was unfathomably awful.

  I drew a breath and tried not to sound bitter. “Henrik’s holding up his end of whatever bargain he has with her right now. He sent me back here to get me out of the way. Oh, and to pass on the dust.”

  “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. This bargain, I mean.” Mia reached across the table and touched my hand.

  I rolled my head to the side so my cheek was flush with my arm. “I get that she’s hot. I get that she’s got that magic stupid älva charm. What I don’t get is how the smartest guy I know could choose to be with someone so…”

  “Thick? Dim witted? Vapid?” Tyr offered from the stairs.

  “You see it too?” I trilled.

  “Tyr! You just told Brynn to be nice!” Mia scolded.

  “I know.” Tyr frowned. “But Finnea’s always irritated me. She’s hot, I’ll give her that, but that’s about the only good thing I can say about her. The thing about älva is that they’ve got this weird ability to draw men in. The way she used to get under Henrik’s skin… ugh.” He shuddered. “I was glad when he decided to stop going to Alfheim.”

  “How long has it been since he’s seen her?” Mia asked.

  As Tyr shifted his gaze to me, one corner of his mouth turned up in his signature smirk. “His last visit was exactly one week after Brynn was assigned to our team. We’ve been rationing our älva dust since then. If you hadn’t used the last of it on Fred here, he sure as Helheim wouldn’t be there right now. That’s the honest-to-Odin truth.”

  I raised an eyebrow at Tyr’s implication. In no universe would any guy, much less Henrik Andersson, stop seeing an actual älva who looked like that on account of five-foot, two-inch, crazy-haired me. We just hadn’t needed any älva dust since a week after I joined the team, that was all.

  “Really?” Mia wound her hands together and leaned forward on her elbows. “Interesting. Brynn, how do you feel about that?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” I picked at my fingernails. “Even if Tyr wasn’t hallucinating, I’m not allowed to date until I make captain. The way Freya promotes, that could be decades away. And Henrik seems pretty happy with the bird in hand, at the moment.”

  “Henrik knows the rules.” Tyr started up the stairs again. Now he spoke over his shoulder. “But I’ll tell you this. He hasn’t been on a single date with anyone since you showed up on our team.”

  The sound of Tyr’s office door clicking into place was punctuated by the popping of my jaw as it fell open. At this rate, I was going to need to see Elsa about healing my poor face joint. But still. No. Freaking. Way.

  “So, you were saying?” Mia rested her cheeks on her fists. “You’re worried about some girl stealing your man?”

  “He’s not my man.” I picked up my sandwich and finished it in hurried bites. “And besides,” I mumbled through a mouthful of meat and cheese, “Finnea’s got her älva paws all over him right now.”

  “Are his paws all over her?” Mia asked pointedly.

  “Doesn’t matter.” I gave myself a second to finish chewing as I ran through images of purring and cooing my immortal eyes could never unsee. “He was giving off really weird vibes. But he’s definitely not into me.”

  “Hmm.” Mia ran her hands along the white tablecloth, smoothing out the wrinkles. “Look, I don’t know exactly what happened in Alfheim, but I do know Henrik likes you. It’s obvious to everyone. He’s probably just holding back because he’s following that rule. It’s stupid that you’re not allowed to date. You’re, like, a million years old,” she teased.

  “You’re telling me.” Bitterness threatened to overtake me. I frowned. This wasn’t like me. I was the queen of compartmentalization. I’d literally gotten an award for it as a junior valkyrie. Why was I letting Henrik’s rebuff affect me so much?

  Oh. Oh.

  “Mia, how long have you been here at the beach house?” I asked.

  “We got in sometime in the middle of the night, same time you left for Alfheim. And it’s almost noon, so… I don’t know. Ten hours? Twelve?”

  “That’s it?” I adjusted my ponytail. I was used to spending a lot of time with Freya, but half a day without her shouldn’t have been long enough for her absence to affect me. Unless her captors took her straight to a dark realm. If that were the case, and the clock was already ticking…

  This was so not good.

  As Goddess of Love, Freya naturally emitted a signal that could be felt throughout the realms. It cast a soothing glow over the residents of the light realms—Asgard, Vanaheim, Midgard, Alfheim, and the friendly pockets of the dwarves’ realm. But if Freya entered a dark realm, that realm’s boundary would act like a cage, keeping Freya’s love from penetrating the atmosphere and illuminating the light worlds. The lack of love would create a blackness in the souls who depended on Freya’s warmth to guide them. It would create unease in gods, mortals, and elves, and its effects would grip the valkyries especially hard, because of our close relationship with Freya. It would inevitably bring about desolation and destruction, just like it had when…

  I sighed. We needed to get Freya back. For a lot of reasons.

  “Do me a favor, will you?” My fingertips brushed the tablecloth. “Keep in touch with Heather and Charlotte and your brother and your parents. Give me a read on the human world when I check in with you.”

  “Sure. But why?” Mia asked.

  “Because there’s going to come a tipping point where Freya’s absence starts to affect the mortals. And we’re going to need to run interference with the humans so they don’t hurt themselves if it comes to that.”

  Mia raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “Fair enough. Now I adore you, Brynn. You know I do. But you look like you’ve been to hell and back. Can I do your makeup before Tyr sends you back to Elfheim?”

  “It’s Alfheim.” I smiled. “And why not?”

  Because it doesn’t matter what you look like. Henrik’s just not that into you.

  Shut up, brain.

  Mia ran upstairs and returned to the table with her makeup bag faster than I could finish off a dark elf. She pulled out a cleansing cloth and wiped the grime off my face, then got to work.

  “So why exactly aren’t you allowed to date anyone? Have you ever been on a date?” She dabbed foundation on a sponge and dotted it along my jawline.

  “Of course I’ve been on a date.” My words sounded cli
pped as I tried not to move my face. “I’ve only been a valkyrie for about a hundred years. Before that I was in school, and I didn’t have this stupid restriction looming over me.”

  “So you can’t date because you’re a valkyrie? Are valkyries like Asgardian nuns?” Mia smoothed concealer under my eyes.

  “Kind of.” I paused. “Difference is, nuns never get to date—they’re celibate for life. Our restriction terms out once we reach a certain rank. After that, we can get married and have families if we choose to. But most valkyries decide it’s easier to adhere to the code without external ties.”

  “Explain,” Mia said.

  I thought for a moment. “Okay, here’s the deal. There’s no gain without sacrifice in Asgard. Duty to the realm is above all else. It’s the way Odin sets things up.”

  “Lousy plan, if you ask me.” Mia picked up her blending brush and set to task.

  “Ain’t that the truth,” I muttered. “Well, Freya takes it a step further. She’s structured the valkyries so we have to hit certain career milestones to earn certain privileges. Our jobs are a pretty big deal, and since we’re warriors, soul gatherers, and also working for the living representation of love, Freya doesn’t like emotions tainting our professional decisions. She needs valkyries to be hard; strong; willing to do whatever it takes for the protection of Asgard. But at the same time, because of her title, she knows the outcomes of our relationship futures and wants to make sure we guard our hearts for our future mate, if that’s the path we choose to take.” I rolled my eyes.

  “So she’s like an overbearing parent?” Mia laughed. “I know a thing or two about those.”

  “More like a loving big sister,” I corrected. “She says maintaining the purity of our love is for our own good—that once we give a piece of our heart away, we can never get that piece back. So essentially, for our fifty to one hundred initial years of service, we’re like the Romans’ vestal virgins—locked in the training compound, only allowed out to perform domestic duties for the titled gods.”

  “Like Mist?” Mia wrinkled her forehead.

  “Like Mist,” I confirmed. “Freya’s made an example of her, poor thing. She hasn’t kept to her vow—she keeps finding herself in, uh, compromising positions with some of the titled’s bodyguards.”

  Mia giggled. “She got caught?”

  “Yeah. So Freya refuses to promote her until she upholds her vow for a full two decades.”

  “That’s longer than I’ve been alive!” Mia looked appalled.

  “You’re a baby,” I teased. “And I know it sounds like forever, but it’s the blink of an eye to an immortal. Freya’s honestly not asking that much. Being a valkyrie requires a very particular mindset, and she needs to know that every candidate can attain it. If they can’t handle the sacrifice, they can always quit.”

  “Does anyone ever quit?” Mia held up an eye shadow brush. “Close your eyes.”

  I did as instructed. “Never. It’s the most demanding, but also the most rewarding job a goddess can have. Well, a non-titled goddess,” I corrected. “We get to protect the gods who do Odin’s work. We’re responsible for making sure the titleds—the gods who influence the fate of all the worlds—are safe. We get to choose the human soldiers with valor and ære worthy to ascend to Asgard. And when we reach captain rank, if we’ve served well and kept our focus on protecting the realm, then the Goddess of Love will reward us with our perfekt match. If we haven’t devoted ourselves to the work, well, then she leaves it up to us to figure out our path. And hunt down our partners.”

  Mia coughed, and I opened my eyes. “Shut the front door. If you work hard and don’t screw around, she’ll hand over your soul mate? Forget overprotective parent, she sounds like a fairy godmother! That’s an amazing deal!”

  I wrinkled my nose. “It’s a good deal in theory. But remember I’m immortal. Which means it could be tens or hundreds of years before I get promoted to captain. And that is a freaking long time to not date. I haven’t even kissed a boy in over a century.” Until this morning’s debacle. But I was so not counting that as a kiss. Not out loud. Not ever.

  “Oh, Lord.” Mia leaned back in her chair, deflated. “That’s a long time.” She sat up again and picked up a brush. She dipped it in blush and applied it to my cheeks. “What about Freya? Is she allowed to date?”

  “She can date.” I nodded. “But she can’t give her heart away. If she gets too close to a guy, her obligation to the Norns requires she break things off. Otherwise, she’s too emotional to oversee her duties. She took a vow to remain neutral in all things.” My eyes narrowed as I recited Freya’s mantra from memory. “You can’t have perfekt control if you’re crazy in love.”

  Mia handed me a mascara wand. She held up her compact so I could do my lashes. “And that’s why she won’t let you date until you make captain. She’s afraid you’ll lose control—put whoever you fall in love with ahead of the realm.”

  “Exactly.” I finished the second coat and handed back the wand. “It’s not a huge deal. I knew this when I signed on for the job. And all things considered, Freya’s moved me through the ranks really fast. I was a domestic valkyrie seventy human years ago—I had to bring titled gods their groceries, just like Mist is doing for you guys. And after that I joined a junior squadron, a senior squadron, and served three tours—two in Muspelheim, one in Jotunheim. When I was assigned as Tyr’s second bodyguard a few years back, it was a really big deal. Nobody’s been made second without at least two hundred years of service, well, ever.”

  Mia zipped up her makeup bag and glanced up the stairs. “You think Tyr had anything to do with that?”

  “Maybe.” I shrugged. “We were like family growing up. It makes sense we’d work well together. Or…” I stared at my cuticles.

  “Or?” Mia prompted.

  “Or maybe Freya felt bad for me. My folks weren’t exactly thrilled when I joined up. They’ve made no secret about wanting grandbabies.”

  Mia laughed. “Mine do that to me and Jason too, though they’d die if we dropped out of college to start a family. Well, either way, it looks like you’re tracking to move up faster than most. So maybe your happily-evah-aftah is coming sooner rather than later.”

  “Maybe.” I shrugged. I wasn’t sure what scared me more—the prospect of living another hundred chaste years in the convent of Saint Freya, or the day she presented me with my perfekt match. I’d always imagined it would be Henrik. But after today, it seemed pretty clear that wasn’t happening. Even if he had kissed me back, one look at his ex and I knew for sure I wasn’t his type. Leggy fairy I was not.

  But I was a scrappy little warrior. And it was time to rebuild that black box and compartmentalize my emotions once again. Enough feeling—it was time to fight for Freya.

  “Okay, ladies.” Tyr’s footsteps thundered on the stairs. “Brynn’s got to go to Muspelheim.”

  “Did Odin declare war?” I knew our leader had been furious when the fire giants admitted to harboring Hymir, but when the giant was spotted in Jotunheim last week, Odin had dialed down his anger at the flaming realm. Or so I’d thought.

  “Not just yet. But Odin’s ravens saw a bound female being moved through Muspelheim, and Forse’s scout claims a new portal was opened near the volcano earlier today.”

  I jumped up so quickly, my chair clattered behind me. “What about Barney?” I asked as I righted it.

  Tyr held the wire-riddled contraption in one hand. “He’s not ready, but Mia and I will keep working on him until you get back. Catch the Bifrost into Alfheim and relay Forse’s findings to Henrik. Then get over to Muspelheim as fast as you can. Forse’s scout is a fire giant named Hyro.”

  “Did Hyro say anything else about the portal, other than that it was opened?” I questioned.

  “No. Apparently the communicator she uses to talk to Forse is on the fritz, and that’s all the information Justice was able to discern. So you need to find Hyro, learn everything you can about the portal, the volcano, any
of it, and then report back to me. I don’t want you making contact with the perps until Barney’s operational. If they grabbed Freya out from under three of us, Odin knows what they could do to just two of you. Remember, if you feel your danger level is outside the norm, call me and I’ll Bifrost in immediately.”

  “But Odin said it’s a trap, and they want you to—”

  “I don’t care what Odin said.” Tyr glowered. “I’m your commanding officer, and I’m ordering you to call me if you can’t handle things on the ground. Am I clear?”

  “Yes, sir.” I saluted.

  “Good. Here.” Tyr pulled a painting away from the wall and pressed his hand to the pad behind it. A door swung open when the fingerprint scan was complete, and Tyr retrieved a small black satchel from within our hidden arsenal. “If you get into trouble with the fire giants, give them some of these rubies. Half is the payout we promised the scout for her intel. The other half should buy you enough time to run.”

  “Fair enough.” I caught the satchel as Tyr threw it to me, and tucked it into my backpack. I shoved the straps of my bag over my arms, took my plate to the sink, and stopped just long enough to give Mia a hug. “Thanks for the sandwich. And the makeover. And the pep talk.”

  She squeezed me gently and pulled back, her face lined with worry. “Be extra careful. And tell Henrik if he doesn’t take better care of you, I’ll personally shoot him in the kneecaps.”

  I groaned as I darted out the door. “Thanks for that, mortal.” I jumped off the porch and ran across the lawn, down the stairs, and onto the sand. The midday sun beat down on my all-black ensemble, and I stood still to soak up the warmth. Odin only knew what I’d walk in on in Alfheim, and I wanted to be able to visualize this peaceful moment… in case I needed to bleach my eyeballs once I arrived and saw what that wench was doing to Henrik.

  Don’t go there, brain.

  “Heimdall, open the Bifrost!” I shouted. A dizzying beam of light shot down. “To Alfheim.” I stepped inside the brilliant circle and gave my friends a small wave before my bones were sucked upward, my skin barely holding on. After several nausea-inducing seconds, I was right back where I started, looking around the pond for nymphie “Nea-Nea” and my so-called work associate.