Raleigh And The Rancher (Wranglers & Lace #3)

by Laura Anthony

  “And you were only eighteen?”

  She nodded. “His parents found me sitting on the bank at dawn. I was rocking back and forth and babbling about Jack and the Olympics.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, Raleigh.” Dan patted her hand, his touch soothing her more than she ever thought possible.

  “Jack’s parents blamed me. They said I was responsible. If he hadn’t been out with me in the first place, it wouldn’t have happened. I let their son go in. I didn’t stop him. I didn’t run for help. I just sat there like an idiot waiting for him to come back.”

  “You were just a kid. You were in shock. How dare they blame you.” Dan smacked his fist into his palm.

  “Jack was their only child. They needed to assuage their own grief, so they lashed out at me. I realize that now, but at the time I believed them.” Her bottom lip trembled.

  “Damn, Raleigh, how on earth did you survive?”

  “Pa and Caleb pulled me through it. I had nightmares for months. But then Pa made me his partner, got me focused on doing something I loved. Shoeing horses was my therapy, my salvation.”

  “I’ve never known anyone who had to face such terrible catastrophes at such a young age.” Dan clicked his tongue in sympathy.

  “It wasn’t long after Jack’s death that we found out Pa had kidney failure. His illness really took a toll on me. I was the one who drove him to dialysis in Abilene three times a week, and I practically took over the business when he became too weak to work.”

  “Life has sure thrown you some curveballs.”

  “Oh, Dan, it’s not just fate.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s me. I’m the jinx.”

  “Raleigh, you can’t blame yourself. These things happen. It’s unfortunate, but nothing was your fault.” His fingers curled around her arm.

  “I’m a black widow. Anybody who loves me dies.”

  “Caleb didn’t die.”

  “So far,” Raleigh said bitterly. “I live with the constant fear of losing him.” She twisted from his grasp.

  “You’re being irrational.”

  “Am I? Sorry, Dan, I can’t risk that conclusion. I can’t afford to fall in love again. My heart just couldn’t take it.”

  “That’s nonsense, Raleigh. You’ve already suffered so much, you’re due for good times.” He tried to reach for her again, but she moved aside.

  “Is it nonsense, Dan? Do you still want a relationship with me? Because if you do, I’m warning you right now, you’re taking your life in your hands.”

  Her anguish caused him physical pain. Dan absorbed her tragic story, felt the effects twist his gut as if he’d consumed a thousand chili peppers. When he considered all she’d suffered, he literally ached for her.

  More than anything, he wanted to ease her sorrow. He longed to take her into his arms, hold her safe and secure for the rest of their lives.

  “Raleigh, please let me help.”

  She jumped up and started clearing the dishes off the table without answering him.

  Dan stared down at his hands. How to reach her? How to let her know he wanted to love her no matter what the risks, real or imagined?

  She believed she was a jinx and he could see where she might have assumed that crazy notion. He needed to convince Raleigh to trust him, to free herself from guilt’s restrictive shackles.

  Dan resisted the urge to shake some sense into her, to tell her he loved her. He knew he must proceed with extreme caution if he ever hoped to capture Raleigh’s heart.

  “Will you take me back to the hospital now? I’ve been away from Caleb too long,” she asked when she’d finished washing the breakfast dishes. Her gray eyes were red rimmed and she looked beat to a frazzle. She held her shoulders ramrod straight, as if she bore the weight of the world on her fragile frame.

  “No,” he said firmly. “You need to take a nap first.”

  “Fine,” she snapped. “I’ll drive myself.”

  He pulled the keys from his pocket and dangled them in front of her. “I’ve got the keys.”

  “Then I’ll drive my truck.”

  “I don’t want you on the highway in that rattle-trap heap.”

  “Well, it’s not your decision to make, is it?” She sank her hands on her hips and flashed him a look of warning.

  Even exhausted and defiant, she was beautiful. He admired her resilience, her sense of responsibility, her fierce independence. Yet those were the very same qualities that separated them. Winning Raleigh’s love might prove to be the biggest challenge of his life. But Daniel J. McClintock never backed down from a challenge.

  “Let’s compromise. I’ll call the hospital and check on Caleb, and we’ll both take a two-hour nap. Then I promise to drive you back to Abilene. You can’t help your brother if you’re on the verge of collapse.”

  “I can sleep on the floor in his room.”

  “Damn it, Raleigh, be sensible.”

  “He’s my brother, my responsibility. Caleb’s not your problem, Dan, so get out of my way.”

  Her exasperating manner goaded him to throw caution to the wind. He had to make her understand. “Don’t you get it, Raleigh? I want to make your problems my problems.”

  She put her hands over her ears. “Stop it, Dan. I don’t want to hear this.”

  He tugged her hands from her ears. “Well, you’re going to listen to me, because what I have to say will affect both of us for the rest of our lives.”

  “No,” she whimpered. “Please don’t say it.” She couldn’t bear it if he articulated the very words she dreaded hearing more than any other in the English language.

  Fire blazed in his dark eyes. A corresponding rush coursed through her veins. Tension screwed the corners of his mouth into a tight grimace. “Raleigh, you’re tired and upset. We can talk about this later and work everything out.”

  “No, we can’t.” Distressed, she hopped from foot to foot. “Now I have to move and find another job.”

  “For heaven’s sake, why?”

  “I can’t stay here,” she said, a heavy sensation of claustrophobia settling over her. She felt trapped, cornered. If she stayed, she feared Dan would confess his love for her and she simply could not deal with that declaration.

  “I still don’t understand why you feel you have to leave.” He inclined his head.

  “I told you, I’m a jinx, bad luck.”

  “I promise not to hurt you.”

  “Don’t you get it? “I’d be the one hurting you. I destroyed my whole family with their love for me.”

  “That’s ridiculous thinking.”

  “I can’t risk it.”

  “You’re a hardheaded little billy goat.”

  “Good. Stubbornness is the only thing that protects me,” she declared.

  He reached for her, but she shied, almost stumbling in her haste to get away.

  “Don’t touch me, Dan.”

  For years she’d held back her feelings, denied most emotions except anger. One way or another, she had to convince him to leave her alone. She was deathly afraid she wanted him, too. What if she surrendered to the feeling and allowed herself to love him?

  She shuddered, imagining Dan being killed. Would he be kicked by a horse? Ground under the wheels of some machinery? Or maybe something as innocuous as pneumonia? Raleigh knew she couldn’t survive the demise of another loved one. Already she’d been so abused by life, she couldn’t cry, couldn’t care. How could she knowingly ask for more sorrow?

  “Raleigh? Answer me,” Dan insisted. “I’ve got to know. Why won’t you put the past to rest?”

  She had to do something, had to get rid of him before she lost control and threw herself into his welcoming arms. To save herself, to save Dan, Raleigh told the biggest lie of her life.

  “Because,” she cried, “I could never love you!”

  Shocked, Dan stared at her wide-eyed. His body jerked as if controlled by marionette strings. He plucked his cowboy hat off the kitchen table and squeez
ed it between his fingers.

  He felt used, dirty, betrayed by his own heart. Just when he’d been about to reveal his true feelings to her, Raleigh had effectively shot him down. Thank God, he hadn’t been fool enough to utter the word love.

  She ducked her head, obviously uncomfortable with his dismay. “Caleb and I will be leaving the ranch, of course. We can’t stay here under the circumstances,” she mumbled, turning her back on him.

  Dan’s mouth dropped open. Her vehement denial attacked him without warning, ambushing him out of nowhere. He’d been so completely wrong. Had someone smashed him in the head with a two-by-four? Had the world stopped spinning? Here he’d been thinking she just needed a little time, some space and reassurance. He hadn’t realized she could never love him in return.

  Numbed by the stunning implications of her cruel words, he felt dead inside. How could he have been so blind?

  “Where will you go?” he asked dully.

  “That’s really none of your concern, is it?”

  Mentally kicking himself, Dan spun on his heel and left her standing there, desperate to escape and hide his anguish. Pain, sharp and unrelenting, pelted him.

  Dan slammed the cabin door without looking back. A dark sucking chest wound had taken the place of his heart. A knife in his sternum would have been kinder and scarred much less than Raleigh’s hateful statement.

  He stalked across the exercise yard, kicking aside litter and debris left from last night’s party. Had it only been a few short hours since he’d held Raleigh in his arms in the back of the trailer? Dan winced. Nothing had ever hurt like this. Even when Jenny Harris had abandoned him at the altar in front of friends and family, he hadn’t felt this empty.

  Was he doomed to keep loving women who couldn’t love him in return? Because Raleigh made him feel so alive, so stimulated, so happy, he assumed she’d felt the same for him. What a mistake.

  He should have listened to his father and remained in Dallas. What was the point of chasing after his dream if Raleigh wasn’t around to share it with him? No. Dan shook his head. That was regressive thinking. The old man’s derisive laughter resounded in his ears. Despite the problems in his personal life, he refused to tuck his tail between his legs and run home to Daddy.

  He stalked into the big house in time to hear the phone ring. Snatching up the receiver, he barked a curt hello.

  “Why, good morning to you, too, son.”

  Dan cringed. As usual, his father’s timing was lousy.

  “Did I catch you at a bad time?” his father asked.

  Dan sank into a chair and ran his fingers through his hair. “What do you want?”

  “Fine way to talk to your father.”

  “Sorry, Dad, I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

  “I thought you might want to know your mother and I are going to be in Abilene next week on business. We’d like to drop by and check out this little ranch of yours. That okay by you?”

  Dan held his tongue. His father was putting him down again. What else had he expected? He should have gotten used to it by now.

  “Sure, Dad. Come on down.” He had nothing to hide. He was proud of his ranch and the work they’d accomplished.

  “Now, we don’t want to inconvenience you, son. You don’t want us there, you just say so. I mean, if your place isn’t up to snuff.”

  Dan resented the typical dig at his competence. Bristling, he got to his feet. He was not about to let his father push him around anymore. Time to take a stand. Raleigh might have broken his heart but she hadn’t destroyed his courage. He was a survivor. He would manage somehow.

  “You be here, Dad. I’ll be damn proud to show you my place.”

  “We’ll be arriving next Friday. That suit you?” Bill McClintock sounded slightly taken aback.

  Dan grinned, suddenly feeling invincible. “Yeah, Dad. I’ll be looking forward to your visit.”

  * * *

  What had she done?

  Raleigh had thought it would be easier to make Dan believe she didn’t care about him. Instead she’d made things far worse. She should have told him the truth, admitted that she was afraid, that she needed more time. But he had rushed her, demanding the kind of commitment she didn’t know if she would ever be able to give.

  Too late, the hideous words had flown out of her mouth, gashing deep ugly scars on his heart, and she didn’t know how to repair the wounds.

  But she had to admit to herself that although it might be painful for Dan now, it was for the best in the long run. She had to end the relationship before it went any further, and that meant leaving the ranch as quickly as possible.

  While her resolve simmered strong, she picked up the phone and dialed Fay Walton’s number. Sucking in a deep breath, she wrapped the telephone cord around her fingers.

  “Hello?”

  “Fay?”

  “Raleigh? Kitten, is that you?”

  “Uh-huh,” she replied, her voice tremulous.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Caleb’s in the hospital, and Dan and I have split ways, so I’ve got to find someplace else for us to live.”

  “What happened to Caleb?” Fay asked, alarmed.

  Raleigh filled her in on both Caleb’s surgery and the fiasco with Dan.

  “I’m so sorry about Caleb. I wish I’d known. I never would have left him alone last night, but he told me he felt fine.”

  “It’s not your fault,” Raleigh assured her. “The doctor said he’ll be okay.”

  “How are you holding up?”

  “Been better.”

  “Too bad things didn’t work out with you and Dan,” Fay sympathized. “I really believed you two might have something going.”

  “I’ve got to get away from here.”

  “Pack up your things and get on over to my place, you hear me? You can help me out at the diner again until you find something else.”

  “Oh, Fay, you’re the best friend in the entire world.”

  “Everything will work out just fine, kitten. Don’t give up. Trust me.”

  * * *

  Before her brother was released from the hospital, Pete helped Raleigh move her and Caleb’s meager belongings to Fay’s small house on the outskirts of Clyde.

  Prudently, Dan stayed away during the move. Raleigh hated to inconvenience Fay, but the idea of staying at the ranch even one day longer than necessary motivated her to leave immediately.

  But despite her best efforts to erase him from her memory, Daniel McClintock haunted her thoughts. Determined to steel herself, Raleigh clamped down on her emotions like a bulldog gnawing a rag. After years of denying her true feelings, she found it surprisingly easy to numb herself. She refused to let herself care.

  By Friday, five days after she’d left the ranch, Raleigh was a nervous wreck. Her appetite vanished and she knew without weighing herself that she’d lost several pounds, but no food enticed her. She had trouble sleeping on Fay’s narrow sofa, waking frequently in the night to stare at the wall, trying to dispel the images of Daniel McClintock clogging her brain.

  Before going to work at the diner, Raleigh had stationed Caleb on the couch in Fay’s living room, remote control in his hand and snacks on the nearby tray. He’d been released from the hospital the day before and although he still looked ill, he was healing. Her brother had asked about Dan but Raleigh simply told him they would never be returning to the ranch, then she’d hurried out the door before he could demand to know the reason why.

  “There’s one hell of a sandstorm brewing. You can see it hovering on the horizon. Radio says it’s coming in from New Mexico,” Annie commented, shaking out a match in the ashtray.

  “Yeah.” Fay nodded. “I can smell it.”

  “We gonna close early if it hits?” Annie asked, lazily blowing smoke rings at the ceiling.

  “Maybe,” Fay hedged.

  Raleigh caught herself wondering if Pete or Dan would remember to put the horses in the barn. The sandstorm would make them unruly. They could inj
ure themselves. She worried. It upset her to think the horses might not be getting the kind of care they deserved.

  Annie pushed back her chair. “I’m going for a cup of java. Anybody else want one?”

  “None for me, thanks,” Fay said.

  “Raleigh?”

  “Huh?” She jerked, blinked, looked at Fay.

  “Annie’s getting coffee, want some?”

  “No.”

  “You were a thousand miles away. A penny for your thoughts,” Fay commented once Annie had disappeared into the kitchen.

  Shrugging, Raleigh propped her chin in her palm. “I’m worried about Dan’s horses.”

  “You miss him, don’t you?”

  “I miss the horses.”

  Fay shook her head. “Raleigh, you don’t have to put up a big front for me. I don’t know what happened between you two, and it’s really none of my business, but I think you’re making a big mistake.”

  Raleigh narrowed her eyes. Was she really that transparent?

  “Do you know why your father and I never got married?” Fay asked.

  “Caleb and I always hoped you would.”

  “Believe you me, I wanted to marry Will Travers more than any man on the face of this earth. I loved your pa.”

  “He loved you, too,” Raleigh said.

  “No, kitten, I don’t think he did. Not in the way he loved your mother. He couldn’t get over her, Raleigh. He wouldn’t let himself.”

  “Pa cared about you, I know he did.”

  “He never told me he loved me, and I badly needed to hear those words.”

  “Maybe he was just scared.”

  “Like I wasn’t? No. He couldn’t relinquish the past in order to live in the future.”

  Was it true? A spasm of grief rippled through Raleigh at the thought of her father’s self-imposed unhappiness.

  “I hate seeing you make the same mistakes your pa made,” Fay continued, “and I know you’re plumb miserable. You closed yourself off to love when Jack died. I know your father had a hand in that, too. Don’t deny it. We fought over you. I heard him telling you that you didn’t need a man to be complete. That’s why he taught you to shoe horses, so you could be strong and independent. Although he meant well, your pa did you a great disservice.”