by P C Hatter
“Night.”
I’d just put the handset on the cradle when I heard several feet outside my door and the doorbell ring. Gun in hand, I went to answer it. Two chipmunks, a rabbit, and a squirrel were on my doorstep. The chipmunks and rabbit were on the police beat. The squirrel was Ellis.
“Well if it isn’t the Fourth Estate. Come on in, I think I’m out of booze.”
The rabbit pointed to my gun as he walked by. “Expecting someone?”
“Target practice.”
While the other three raided my kitchen, Ellis hung back. “So, you got shot at?”
“Yes, and they missed.” I put the .45 back in my holster. “Why are you here?”
“Does this have to do with Hopper?”
“Is your idol the type to go around shooting people?”
“Stop joking, Kaiser. We’re going to help Hopper anyway we can.”
“We?”
“Us, the Fourth Estate. If you knew what we knew, you’d jump onboard.” Ellis’s tail flapped all over the place, but he didn’t say anymore because the booze brigade had found a bottle of whisky I’d stashed for a special occasion and were coming back in the room with full glasses.
“So, Kaiser, tell us about the shooting.” The chipmunk raised his glass and downed a good portion.
“Are you going to put my picture in the paper along with some crazy story that will get me evicted by my landlord and have a sudden lack of clients, again?”
The rabbit laughed and refilled his glass. “We got everything from police headquarters, but we wanted your side. You’re one lucky tiger.”
Giving up, I lit a cigarette. “I was walking home—”
“Where were you?” asked Ellis.
“Movies. So, I—”
“What show?”
While the others were taking notes, Ellis wasn’t. One look told me the squirrel was determined to know my every movement. I dug into my pocket and pulled out the stub I’d dropped in it. I handed it to Ellis. “It was a bum show, and I fell asleep. Would you like to check the Lorain theater?”
“Sure.” Ellis took the ticket and used my phone to call the theater to ask if the ticket number had been sold that day. I was thinking he would make a good cop until he forgot to ask when in the day it was sold. That started me wondering how good he was at investigating the people he wrote about.
The others looked at Ellis a little quizzically but didn’t say anything.
“As I was saying, I was walking home when someone started blasting. Don’t know who they were. If the incident is related to any case I might be working on, I’m certainly not going to tell you.”
“Oh, come on. You gotta give us something,” said one of the chipmunks.
“I can’t give what I don’t have. You all know I have more enemies than friends, and those enemies are all packing. Take your pick.”
“So, we don’t get a story.”
“Want another drink?” I pointed to the near empty bottle left on the side table. That seemed to mollify them. After the last drop was drunk, I managed to shoo them out of my apartment. “Don’t bother tailing me, I’ll let you know if there’s a story.”
Just to make sure they’d gone, I watched from my window as they all piled into a beat up old coupe and drove off. Only then did I decide to jump into the shower.
I’d just finished brushing my teeth when the bell rang. Cursing every reporter alive, I stormed over to the door with nothing but a towel around my waist ready to roar at them. When I opened the door, I got the shock of a lifetime. The doe from the meeting stood in the hallway all gussied up, and she looked nothing like the drab doe I’d seen earlier that night. Her fur was brushed glossy, and she wore a little makeup. The dress she wore suited her and had me wondering why she hid her curves in the potato sack she wore at the meetings. The doe was built like a brick house.
The shock at her transformation must have shown on my face, or it could have been the towel I was wearing, because she giggled. “Oh my.”
I stepped back to let her in, but my tongue refused to unstick from the roof of my mouth.
Later, the doe wouldn’t let me walk her to the door. She wanted to be part of the darkness, alone. Her feet were barely a whisper on the carpet as I heard her leave, and I dozed off.
The alarm clock woke me up at six, and I had enough time to shower, dress, and grab a bit to eat before hopping in my car to pick up Velvet. The Lynx was standing out front of the building wearing a dark gray business suit with a hand on her hip. The beaver hocking newspapers was having trouble watching her curves and doing his job at the same time.
I pulled to the curb, and she slipped inside. “Are you going to tell me what this is all about, or are you going to make me wait?”
“Be patient. I need an unbiased opinion.”
Velvet cocked an eyebrow but said nothing.
Elmer Sweenie, from Sweenies Pie Factory, turned out to be an iguana who didn’t mind us talking to the drivers about Muffin, and even gave us his opinion of the serval.
Velvet and I stepped around back and waited for the first truck to be loaded before talking to the driver. The big lizard was bundled from head to toe against the chill in the air. He was polite and even tipped his hat when Velvet walked up to him. “You knew Eddie Muffin, didn’t you?”
“Sure. Worked with him before he died.”
“What was he like?”
The lizard glanced from Velvet to me, then back again, so we showed him our badges. “What did he do?”
“That’s what we’re here to find out. What was he like?” asked Velvet.
“Half of Eddie’s marbles were missing if you ask me. A couple of the guys would pull jokes, and he’d fall for them. And he’d lose things. A change bag or a load of pies is not an easy thing to lose. The pies he blamed on some cubs he was playing ball with.” The reptile got a funny look on his face before saying, “None of us liked hearing about him hanging around people’s young. Eddie could be a right sick bastard… Sorry Mrs., but he could be.” The driver looked away and refused to look Velvet in the eye.
As Velvet continued her questioning the picture in my head didn’t look right for a secret policeman. Others came over and put their two cents in. Eddie was a drunk, liked females, and could be downright childish at times.
On the drive back to the office, I kept trying to make the pieces fit. Once in the office, Velvet poured us drinks. “If you tell me everything, I might be able to help.”
“You may not like it.”
“Such is life.”
I told her everything from the beginning with me on the bridge all the way up to our interviews with the drivers. Minus a few details about a certain mink, of course.
A full minute slipped by before I glanced over at her sitting in a chair, coat off and drop dead gorgeous. There was no shame or terror in her eyes. “It doesn’t add up. Eddie Muffin fits the profile, but he can’t be secret police, it’s too… too good of an act.”
“The sable on the bridge was secret police. Forget what Duke told me about the steel tooth. The U.S.S.R. does that. But how did they know he was dead?”
“The drawing in the paper or fingerprints?”
“The drawing looked nothing like him, and I scraped his fingerprints off on the sidewalk.”
Velvet bit her lip and shuddered. “Ew.”
“He must have missed an appointment with someone. It would take too long to ID him through dental records, and they knew before his body was pulled from the water. I’m sure of it.”
We sat in silence for a while before I remembered something the general said. “They think it’s all a democratic conspiracy, that everything’s been hushed up. And the other night something about a courier was mentioned along with documents.”
“Didn’t you say they were photographing newspapers and magazines?”
“That’s just the stuff we give away for free. A good intelligence man can pick up a lot of information from that. No, this has to be something bigger,
something they’re trying to keep secret. When they found out about me, they tried putting me down. Next time I’ll be shooting first.”
“Kaiser, you get into some of the worst scrapes. Why won’t you say anything and let others help?”
“And let everyone know I’m a menace to society like the judge said? That I go around killing people? Hopper will not only drop me for a client but demand his money back.”
“Would you forget that old crow? What are we going to do now?”
“We?” I looked at Velvet, and she rolled her eyes then suddenly sat up straight. “It can’t be that easy.”
“What?”
“The documents Miles was talking about that would get his brother in trouble. What if Muffin was the courier and Miles took what he had on him?”
“If those documents were classified, Douglas’ competition could make all sorts of accusations to bring him down.”
“We can’t let that happen, Kaiser.” Before I could object, she added, “There is no way I’m letting you handle this alone. I’m in. No arguments.”
There’s one thing about Velvet, you don’t argue with her.
“Tonight, nine o’clock.” I picked up the phone and called Duke. “Any new corpses lately?”
“No. Have you lost your ability to shoot straight?”
“It was a moving target, and so was I.”
“When are you going to come in and give a statement?”
“I’ll tell you over lunch.”
“Fine.”
I hung up and looked at Velvet. “If I don’t call you in an hour, meet me here at nine tonight. We’re going to find out where those documents disappeared to.”
Velvet smiled and wouldn’t let me leave the office until I gave her a kiss. “Be careful, you big lug.”
I was walking down the street looking for a cab, debating on taking my car, when I heard the roar of an engine. A truck sped up and jumped the curb. Had I not lept when I did, I’d have been listed as roadkill. As it was, the guy nicked my tail. That hurt. By the time I picked myself off the sidewalk, the truck was gone.
Fuming, I grabbed my car from the lot and drove to meet Duke. He was sitting in his office with his back to the door looking out the window. I sat down across from him and growled. “They tried again.”
Duke turned, and his ears slowly rotated forward. “Two attempts in two days is a little much even for you.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Is Hopper in the clear?”
“I’m working on it.”
“Kaiser—”
“Please don’t, you know I don’t deal with politics. If it’s not you, it’s papers touting his glory. Even Velvet likes him. What gives?”
Duke scowled. “Hopper’s giving a speech tonight. You should at least hear what he has to say. Not the speech, but the small talk afterward. Hopper likes to make the rounds and talk to everyone in small groups. He’s very personable. Most of us had never met him before then.”
“You’re talking about the night Miles killed Muffin?”
“Yes.”
“What have you done about Miles?”
Duke shrugged. “Nothing. That’s all over with, and his body is slated for processing. Though I think only the carrion eaters will want it.”
“And his personal effects?”
“We checked them out and found nothing. I had a dog posted at his residence just in case he mailed something to himself but that came to more nothing.”
Keeping the smile from my face was difficult. “Let’s go to lunch. Do you mind if I use your phone before we go?”
“Go ahead.”
I quick and called Velvet. “Did you empty the trash in the office?”
“Not yet. Why?”
“Look and see if there’s a crushed pack of cigarettes in the trash. I don’t think I left it on the desk, but it’s not my brand. If it’s there, don’t touch it. Put it in a box and have someone bring it to Duke.”
“One second.”
I heard Velvet put the phone down and the click of her heels on the floor. A few seconds later she was back. “It’s there.”
“Great.” I said goodbye and hung up. Duke was looking at me with curiosity but waited for an explanation. “A pack of cigarettes that I’ll need fingerprinted. Mine will be on it and hopefully someone else’s.”
“Whose?”
“I wish I knew.”
CHAPTER 7
Confirmation that there were documents came with the evening news broadcast, but not the kind I’m used to dealing with. The State Department had a leak, and now everybody knew about the duplication of confidential papers regarding the latest weapon of mass destruction. The F.B.I. was on the hunt for the guilty party.
If they had asked me about it, I could have escorted them right to the guys they were looking for. I was playing in the big leagues with nastier people than me. People who wanted it their way at any cost.
I was so angry, I not only cleaned my gun three times but clipped the noses off the bullets I loaded into my .45. They’d make a nice hole coming out someone’s backside. With the gun holstered and strapped on, I was ready to go.
The weather outside turned, and a sticky fog rolled in from the river. The cold of winter did not want to give in to spring. This time, when I went out, I didn’t get lost in thought but paid attention to everything around me. Figures in the dark, the sound of footsteps, or the smell of the city.
They were going to try again.
When I reached my car, I walked past it then double backed. Not wanting to get blown up, I checked under the hood and every other place I could think of. The car was clean. The drive through the fog felt otherworldly, and when I reached my office, I parked on the curb and sat smoking until it was time to go in.
At nine o’clock, Velvet entered the office. She smiled at me, but it wasn’t cheery. “Did you hear?
“Yeah. Looks like we have a better idea of what we’re looking for.”
Velvet nodded, her eyes dark and unreadable. “We need to find them. In fact, we need to do more than just find them. We need to get whoever is responsible and see that they can’t do anymore damage.”
“I’m not putting you on the front line.”
Her eyes flashed in anger. “I’m putting myself there. Think about it, Kaiser. There’s someone nobody knows about directing their operations. Someone who can come and go as they please and not get questioned. Then there’re the ones who take orders. The dangerous ones at the top of the chain. Let’s take as many as we can out of the picture, so that the rest run home with their tails between their legs.”
“I like you’re reasoning, but it’s just going to be me.”
“You either let me come with you, or I dump everything in Duke’s lap.”
Velvet knew how to blackmail. But I have to admit that what she threatened really wasn’t blackmail. I wanted her at my side. “Okay, you’re in.” I’d always want her.
She took my hand and leaned close. “I love you, Kaiser.”
I kissed her, and kissed her again, knowing how lucky I was to have her in my life. The small box I’d dropped into my pocket earlier didn’t want to cooperate when I tried removing it. Then I nearly dropped the contents on the floor when I opened it and put the ring on her finger. Velvet stared at the dark sapphire for a minute before kissing me. Neither of us had to say anything.
“We need to go,” I said, and Velvet turned off the lights. With the office door locked, we went down the elevator and out the front entrance. The watchman gave me a nod, so I knew no one had tampered with the car.
On the drive over to Miles’ place I told her, “Duke had someone watching the place. They’re gone now.”
“So, there’s a good chance we can search the apartment before anyone else can.”
“Yeah.”
“What will the documents look like? They won’t be paper, will they?”
“Possible. Though they could also be microfilm. However they’re wrapped up, it’ll be
small enough to fit in a pocket.”
She nodded. “Let’s hope you’re right.”
Two blocks away from our destination, I parked the car, and we got out.
“Alley?” she asked.
“Yeah. Someone could be watching the front.”
We made our way down the street shrouded by the fog. Velvet kept ahold of my hand as we passed the subway kiosk. Staying near the protection of the wall, the two of us searched for the narrow passage that led behind the buildings and almost passed it.
I pulled Velvet into the darkness and waited until our eyes adjusted before picking our way through the trash covered alley.
“I brought a flashlight,” said Velvet.
“No lights. Not yet. Look for a stack of bottles. The door in the wall should be right behind them.” We found the bottles. The door was still open as was the one that led into the back of the building. Once inside, I pulled from a pocket, my own small flashlight and turned it on. Only then did I notice the condemned sign tact to the wall.
“Doesn’t look like anyone is paying attention to the signs,” I said. “I’m assuming Miles was squatting and not paying rent.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“Anything’s possible.”
The smell of rot and decay filled the hallway. The door to the cellar was missing, but that didn’t matter because the stairs were impassable due to the garbage that blocked them. Velvet opened the door to the room closest to the back yard and panned her flashlight across the area. There was nothing, but the black charred walls and the remains of furniture, evidence of an old fire.
The next room had no door but held a few bedframes and flea infested mattresses. The room Miles was staying in was in the front. A plain skeleton key opened the door. Velvet closed the shades and made sure no light would be seen from outside while we searched.
Duke had said nothing unusual was in Miles’ personal effects, but I doubted the documents would be stashed in his suitcase. We searched the bed, furniture, corners, and every other place we could think of to look.
“Kaiser.” Velvet pulled aside a drapery which covered a door to the storeroom were the infested mattresses were stacked. “So much for locking the door. Anyone could have come in this way.”
