by Delisa Lynn
The things she says and does remind me so much of him. Quaid’s parents have never asked if she is, in fact, his. While Gemma knows, I’ve never even told Clive. He assumes that she’s Jason’s, as does the entire town. He and I have been friends for a long time; he’s a few years older than me. Months had passed since I’d heard from Quaid, and Jason and I became closer. Do I love him? No, not the way I love Quaid. My heart still yearns for Que, and the life that I thought we would share together.
Jason has been here for Bristol and me. He was there when Maw died last year. He helped me through some of the hardest years of my life.
Right now, he’s pushing the swing that Bristol loves so much. She adores him, as he does her. He noticed I was pregnant when I was about four months along, and he never asked who the father was. He stepped up and said he would help me. He would come over and visit after I had her, take us to eat and bring us gifts. I never asked him to, then last year when Maw passed he moved in here with me.
Bristol and I would’ve been fine alone, but since he and I have been dating the last three years, it only made sense for us to live together. He’s the general manager of Plenty of Plastic. It’s a warehouse that makes plastic utensils. Maw left me the house and the bakery, although at times I want to close the bakery down. We aren’t as busy as we used to be, and there are so many memories that make me cry daily.
After we go back inside, Jason comes over to me.
“Hey, baby, what are you thinking about?” he asks, coming up from behind and putting his arms around me.
“You, and how good you are to us. Thank you.” I kiss his lips.
“No thanks needed, I love you both and would move mountains to make you happy. What’s for dinner? I’m starved.”
“Pork chops, greens, mac & cheese.”
Bristol runs up to me. “Eew…no porkachops, Momma.”
I scoop her up in my arms. “You don’t like pork chops, pumpkin?”
She rolls her eyes. “No, I want chicken fries.”
“Well, I think I can manage to make those too.”
“Yay! Thanks, Momma.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” I set her down and pull some chicken fries from the freezer. She loves anything that involves chicken, just like her father. Quaid.
I hear my phone ringing. I look at the counter and see that it’s Gemma’s picture on the screen. She normally works at the bakery for me on Mondays so I can have the day with Jason.
“Hey, girlie, what’s up?”
“I…he…” she sobs. “He’s gone, Hend,” she wails. “They said they did everything they could. I’m going to close the bakery and come over there. Sara called in, so it’s just me here.”
“Who is gone? Who died, Gemma?”
The first person that pops into my mind is Quaid, and my body begins to tremble.
“Bryan…he was killed at work this morning.”
“You stay there, I’m on my way. Jason is home, and he can stay with Bristol.” I swing my purse over my shoulder.
“Okay, please hurry.” She hangs up.
Jason gives me a questioning look. “What’s going on?”
“I have to go to Gemma. She’s a mess. Bryan died this morning.”
“How?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll call you as soon as I find out. Can you watch Bristol for me and finish dinner?”
He and Bryan were really good friends, and I feel bad for leaving him like this, but I need to go to my best friend. Bryan has been her life the last four and a half years.
“Of course. Call me when you can.” He kisses me and then I kiss Bristol. Walking to my car, I know that there is one person that is going to be as devastated as Gemma.
Quaid.
***
I pull Gemma into my arms. “How did this happen?”
“I’m not…not sure. His boss said there was a cart of coal, and he was transporting it into the other mine when one of the trusses collapsed. There were several men injured. Bryan didn’t make it.” She clings to me as I rub her back.
“Do you want to go to your place, or mine?”
She and Bryan live about ten minutes up the road. They have been seeing each other on and off, and he proposed to her last year.
“Home, I need to make some calls. Jesus, how do I do this?” She looks into my eyes. “How do I do this?”
“You’ll get through this, Gem. It’ll be hard, but you’ll be okay.” I lock up the bakery and lead her to my car.
The drive is quiet and I don’t turn on the radio. All I can hear are her sobs, blinking tears from my own eyes as I pull into her driveway. I sit with my hands on the steering wheel for a few seconds then pluck my purse up from the floorboard and walk around to help Gemma up onto the porch. My phone starts chirping in my purse. I set my purse on the swing and start digging through it. I look at the number—it’s local but I don’t recognize it.
Clearing my throat, I answer, “Hello?”
“Hendlee Ann.” It’s the voice I’ve dreamt of, more manly and strong now. A voice I haven’t heard in years. “So good to hear your voice,” he states.
“Quaid…is it you?” My legs buckle and I latch onto the side of the porch, holding myself up. I lean against the beige siding, sliding my body down to the cool cement. Hearing him speak has memories flooding my mind.
Good, bad, and everything I’ve dealt with since he left.
He sighs. “Yeah, sweetheart, it’s me. Sorry, I knew you moved on and it was shitty of me not to contact you. Jason sent me a letter stating that y’all were together…I figured you wouldn’t want to talk to me, since you were hooking up with him and pregnant.”
“So you stayed away for five goddamn years?” I yell. “What do you want?” I climb to my feet. I need to pull myself together for Gem.
“I was calling because I heard about Bryan and I wanted to check on you all.” He pauses. “I’m sorry about your grandmother also. I always loved her like she was my own grandmother. I’m truly sorry for your loss, Hend.”
“Thanks…but my best friend just lost her fiancé and she needs me. I need to go take care of her. I’ll be sure to let her know that you send your condolences.” Not giving him time to respond, I hang up and toss my phone in my purse. I turn to see Gemma staring me down.
“That was Que?” She places her hand on her chest. I nod. “He knows about Bryan?”
“Yeah. Not sure who told him. He knows, though. Sorry you had to hear all that.” I hug her.
“Hey, look at me,” she says. “Don’t even let Castings get in that head of yours.”
“I know, I’m over him. My only concern is helping you through this. Who do we need to call?” I push the door open and stroll into the living room. I notice there are boxes all over the place. “What's up with the boxes?” I ask as I make my way to the couch.
“Oh, just some things. I need to call Bryan’s parents,” she sobs. “They don’t know yet.”
Shit. “Okay, you can do this. I’ll be right here by your side.”
She hugs me tight. I sigh and squeeze her. It’s only going to get harder for her.
“Come on, we’ll call them. Or would it be better to go tell them?” I’m not sure how I would react getting a phone call like that about my only son.
“I’ll call. I can’t face them right now. Calling would be best in the state that I’m in.”
“Okay. I can call for you if you want.”
“No.” She wipes her face. “It’s something I need to do.”
I take a seat and she leans against the kitchen counter, sighs, and places her phone to her ear.
My mind goes back to the phone call I just received. Quaid said that Jason wrote him and told him we were together. But we weren’t. I didn’t even sleep with him until months after I had Bristol. I was drunk and vulnerable, he was there, and it happened. It was nothing to brag about, and I regretted it the next morning. There wasn’t even a next time until about three years ago.
Clive sits d
own next to me. “Hendlee, are you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry. I was in a daze, I guess.”
“I’d say. I’ve called your name several times and you were staring off into space. Gemma stepped out on the porch. I was walking up as she was walking out. She’s on the phone with Bry’s parents.”
“Yeah, she said it would be best if she called, instead of going over.”
“I agree, what’s going on with you?” He knows something is off.
I say one word, “Quaid.”
“He called, I take it.”
I nod, and then place my head in my hands. I mumble, “He should’ve called five years ago. He chooses now to want to play catch up. It’s not the time to do so,” I snap.
Clive rubs my back. “Shh, it’s okay. We can deal with all this later, right now we have to think about Gem. She is going to need us as strong as we can be. Can you pull yourself together, while I go check on her?”
“Yeah, go. I’m going to wash my face. I’ll be fine.”
He kisses the top of my head and walks out onto the porch. This is going to be a long night, but I need to get my head together. He’s right, Gemma will need me. Walking into the bathroom, I flip the light on and sit on the toilet. I look in the mirror and see that my face is swollen and red. “I’ve cried enough tears for you, Quaid Castings, I refuse to do so anymore,” I say aloud. Washing my face, I head back out, letting all thoughts of the man that I’ll always love leave my mind.
Chapter Eleven
Death Brings Out The Truth In Others
Quaid
“Baby, I need to go back home. One of my friends I grew up with died today.”
I haven’t been back in five years. The last time I was there was the day I left to join the Navy. That was the last time I saw…her.
“I can go with you. I can clear my schedule,” Nicola says.
“Yeah, that would be a good idea.” I sigh. “I called Hendlee today after Clive called me.” Her body tenses.
“How is she?” Nicola knows all about the relationship we had and that I never went back because I didn’t want to see her with another man.
“She was cold. You would think that after going off and getting pregnant by one of my friends she wouldn’t have been so hostile to me.”
“Don’t worry about her. We can go pay our respects to your friend’s family and come back home.” She kisses my chest. “She’s the one that moved on first, so don’t feel bad about anything. From what I know you’ve done nothing wrong.”
“You’re right, it was very awkward, though. Shit, I need to shower. I was out running when Clive called.”
“You do that and I’ll order some Chinese. Sweet and Sour Chicken sound good?”
“That sounds delicious. Thanks, babe.” I give her a quick kiss and walk into the bathroom.
We live in a condo on base in Chicago. I’ve been stationed here the last three years, and I’m a commander in the Navy now. I’ve traveled all over the world, I’ve been overseas twice already.
I met Nicola about three years ago. We were at a bar in California and she brought me to my knees. Literally. She bumped into me and I fell over a chair. She’s about five-foot-four and less than a hundred and twenty pounds. We started talking and hit it off. She was in Cali on vacation, and grew up and lives here in Chi-Town. She’s an accountant for her father’s car dealership. She works from home most of the time, and right now I’m thankful for that. I don’t know if I can handle seeing Hendlee and Jason together.
She was the girl I thought I was going to settle down with. We had a hell of a night before I left. She confessed her love to me and then promised she would wait for me. Not even six months later, I get a letter from Jason telling me they were together, she was pregnant, and they were happy. So much for friends, right? I was enraged; I was ready to kill him. I called him several times and got nowhere with him. Then my mom confirmed that she saw them together and they were expecting a child.
It hurt. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the gut. I never opened her letters. I still have them all. I worked my ass off, and I would bang any chick I could find so I didn’t have to think about my green-eyed angel fucking one of my buddies. It worked until I met Nicola, then she saw right through me. She knew I was damaged and she stayed anyway. I moved up in rank and knew that the life I wanted outside of Kentucky was starting. I’d wanted to go back for Hend, but she and Jason fucked that up.
I let the hot water stream down my back. I need to call my parents and let them know that I am finally coming home for a few days. Over the years they have been more understanding than I would be if my only child joined the Navy and decided to not even visit. They want to meet Nicola anyway. She and my mother talk and Skype at least three times a week. Turning the water off, I yank two towels off the shelf and dry off with one, then wrap the second towel around my waist. Thoughts of Hendlee acting like a bitch are still running through my mind. She sounded bitter and cold. Not at all like her normal self. It was odd. I know I haven’t spoken to her since I found out she was with him, but hell, she is the one that wanted to move on. I was coming back to her, and she knew that, and she still did what she did.
Many nights I lie awake and wonder why she would run to Jason. That was years ago, and I can’t believe that I am thinking of all this right now when poor Gemma is getting ready to bury her fiancé. Bryan was a good guy. We grew up together. I just talked to him a few months ago.
Picking up my phone, I dial my parents’ number. After a few rings, I hear the beautiful voice of my mother.
“Hey handsome,” she says.
“Mom, how are you?”
“I’m okay, baby. I guess you heard about Bryan?”
“Yes. Clive called me this morning.” I pause. “I called Hendlee Ann to check on Gemma.”
“To check on Gemma or Hendlee?”
“Both, I guess.”
“She has a family with Jason. Their little girl is beautiful. She reminds me so much of Hendlee when she was that age.”
“Yeah, so I’ve heard.” And I have—Clive and Bryan have always filled me in on her new life.
“You coming in for the service? Your daddy and I would love to see you, and Bryan’s family could use the support from you.”
“Yeah, we’ll fly out tomorrow.”
“You’re bringing that beautiful woman with you?”
“Yes, ma’am. Nicola and I will be there sometime tomorrow. Is it okay if we stay at the house?”
“Why on Earth would you think it wouldn’t be okay? Of course you can.”
“Thanks, we’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.” I smile, knowing she is also smiling on the other end.
“We love you more, son.”
I lay the phone down and gather some clothes to throw on.
“Hey, sexy, the food is here,” Nicola says from the door. “You call your mom?”
I scratch the back of my head. “Yeah, I did. She was pretty excited that she finally gets to meet you.” Walking over to her, I pull her to me and kiss her soft pink lips. “You taste so sweet. Dinner may have to wait.”
“I was just thinking the same thing.” She slips her hand in the waistband of my sweats. Pulling them down, she takes my length in her hand. “I need you in my mouth.” She drops to her knees and takes my cock in her mouth. One thing about her, she loves to give head.
“That’s my girl, right there.” I twine my fingers in her hair and she takes me all the way in, moaning around my cock.
I pull her head off my dick, lift her up, and pull her shorts off in one swift tug. I bend her over the bed and dip a finger in her pussy. She is wet and ready. Rolling a condom on, I settle my cock at her entrance. “You ready for me, sweetheart?”
“God, yes!” she moans.
Pushing my cock in her, I feel her tighten around me. I start fucking her hard; I know she likes it like this. I smack my hand down on her ass and she cries out.
“Yes! Que, harder please,” she begs. She cries out as
I slam into her. Thrusting in and out a few more times, I feel my release building up and know that I am ready to pour myself in her.
I pull her closer to me and kiss her neck, my dick still inside of her. “You like that, baby?”
“You know it. Now I need to shower. The food is cold, I’m sure.”
“Come on, I’ll wash you up.” I lead her to the bathroom and start the shower.
She kisses the anchor tattoo on my chest. “I’m really sorry about your friend.”
“Me too.” I pull her into the shower with me.
***
Our plane just landed in Lexington. We rented a car and are about to make the long drive to my parents’. To say I’m nervous would be saying it lightly. I haven’t seen Hendlee in years, and knowing that I’ll see her and Jason and their daughter has me ready to hurl. I know, I shouldn’t care, I have my own life. That’s the thing, though—I do care, a lot more than I should, actually. I have love for Nicola, but I will always be in love with Hendlee. I’m so pissed at her for the things that she has done. The letters she wrote me, I never even opened them. I knew they would be Dear John letters, so why fucking bother? I did keep them. I don’t know why, but I just couldn’t get rid of them. They are stored in a big box with all of her pictures and previous letters.
“You okay?” Nicola squeezes my leg.
“Yep, just tired.”
“It’s okay if you want to see Hendlee and get closure.”
“Thanks, but I think we did all of our talking yesterday.”
“Do you know when the service is?”
“Yes, it’s going to be Saturday. I figured we’d leave on Sunday. If that’s okay?”
“Sure. I brought my laptop, I can work from anywhere.”
