Black Light: Exposed (Black Light Series Book 2)

by Jennifer Bene

  “You’re going to be a great dad, Gilligan.” She smiled, and he smiled back, locking his phone to pick up his drink.

  “Thanks, Ginger, but I’ve talked plenty now. Talk to me about why you haven’t pursued the fancy reporter job if that’s what you want.” He snapped his fingers. “You know, you could totally go back to Pennsylvania and build up some experience and then come back, it would –”

  Maddie groaned, cutting him off. “No, no. That’s the issue. I wanted to be a reporter in D.C. doing important work. I wanted to cover politicians, and world leaders, and do something meaningful.” As the words left her mouth, she realized they were true. She’d become so focused on getting the job at the Post she’d forgotten why she wanted to work there at all… and it wasn’t to write tabloid fodder.

  Shit.

  “Who cares if it takes you a few more years to get there? You’re what, twenty-five?”

  “Twenty-four,” she corrected.

  “Jesus, Maddie, you have time. Nina didn’t even graduate law school until she was almost twenty-five. You can do anything you want right now, you can go anywhere you want. If that’s really your dream, go for it.”

  His words settled somewhere inside her, grating against everything she’d defined herself by for more than a year. Meeting Antoine at that event had been life-changing for her. An editor at one of the biggest papers in the world talking to her like she mattered, telling her she could do it, she could achieve her dreams the way she’d always imagined – no matter what other people told her. It had been everything that mattered to her, all that mattered for so long that it was difficult to get anything else by the idea – and now she was so close. “But, what if you had been offered the job in LA. If it had been within your grasp, would you have taken it?”

  Jamar didn’t answer right away, he took a slow drink and let his eyes stare somewhere in the middle-distance between them. “I don’t think I can answer that, Ginger. It’s like some sci-fi movie, if I were to go back and say yes to a job at the LA Times, where would my life be now? Would Nina resent me? Would we have a baby on the way? Would we still be together? Would you be sitting here with someone else getting even worse help?” He shook his head. “In life, sometimes I think we just have to make the best decisions we can at the time, knowing we don’t know where they’re going to lead us. It all comes down to what matters most to you, and once you know that – you know what choice you need to make.”

  “Right…” Maddie took a drink, thinking over his words.

  “I feel like we kind of got off topic from your man troubles.” Jamar chuckled.

  “Not really.”

  “Well, you definitely look better, but that could be the alcohol talking.” When he grinned she wadded up her napkin and threw it at him.

  “You’re such a dick, Gilligan.”

  “So, tell me, what’s really bothering you? Career stuff or man stuff?” He was relaxed, leaning back from the table as he held his glass and watched her. Jamar was probably her best friend, and definitely the only person who would have taken the time to have this conversation with her, but she didn’t really have an answer.

  “It’s both.”

  “Both?” He let out a low whistle. “No wonder you look all Dawn of the Dead.”

  “You’re doing wonders for my ego right now.”

  “Ah, just keep drinking, you’ll feel better soon.” Laughing, he raised his glass over the table and she leaned forward to clink them. “Did any of this help, or am I now just using you as an excuse to enjoy happy hour before I head back into hormone central?”

  “You helped. I’m just not sure what is going to happen when I do what I need to do.”

  “That’s part of the fun, isn’t it? If we knew how our lives were going to turn out, they’d be pretty fucking boring.” Jamar tilted his drink up, and nudged the last cape cod across the table towards her. “The only thing left is to find out where your decisions are going to lead you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Tuesday

  Maddie woke up the next morning with a violent headache, and her alarm screeching much louder than it normally did just a foot or two from her head, or at least it didn’t normally feel that loud. Like a marching band of fire alarms setting off small explosives. Groaning, she turned it off and shoved the thing onto the floor as punishment. She’d been toasted by the time she stumbled into her apartment the night before, the quick drinks catching up to her in the car, and as she peeked down she realized she hadn’t even undressed.

  Nice.

  She really had to stop drinking so much. Hopping out of bed, she started the coffee before heading into the shower, hurrying through her routine to make herself a travel cup to nurse the hangover on the way in. Jamar looked even worse than she did when she saw him – but even with the nasty side-effects of their happy hour, Maddie felt okay for the first time in a month.

  Work breezed by that morning, she ordered surprise, greasy subs for Jamar and her for lunch, and then Brenda came by in the afternoon, and the brakes screeched inside her brain. “Madeline, do you have a minute?”

  Doing her best to keep the wobble out of her voice, she spoke quietly, “Sure. Is something wrong?”

  “No, actually I just want to talk real quick. Can you come to my office?” The older woman gave her a small smile, but Maddie still felt nervous as she stood.

  “Okay, I mean, are you sure nothing is wrong?”

  “Let’s talk in my office.” Brenda started walking towards her door, and Maddie stared down Jamar as she walked by, but he looked just as bewildered as she was. No help there.

  As soon as the door closed, Maddie started talking. “Listen, I’m really sorry about those mistakes I made, but I’m really –”

  “Madeline, please take a seat, and relax.” The woman seemed much warmer in the seclusion of her office, and even though her nerves were making her hands shake, she sat down in one of the uncomfortable little chairs in front of the desk. “I wanted to tell you that I know you were having a rough time a couple of weeks ago, but I appreciate you taking my feedback to heart and getting back on board with the team.”

  “Right, I was just a little distracted, but I’m good now.”

  “I know you are, you’re back on track, and that’s why I’m so glad to be able to give you this now.” Brenda opened her day planner and pulled out an envelope, handing it across the desk. “Go on, open it.”

  More confused than ever, Maddie tore open the top of the envelope and took out a piece of paper. It was mostly typed, and Brenda’s signature was at the bottom, along with the owner’s name. Forcing herself to read more slowly she finally processed what the paper said. “Wait, I’m getting a promotion?”

  “We were going to tell you at the beginning of January, but then you started acting so strange. Your performance slipped, and we had concerns.” Brenda waved a hand. “None of that matters now, I can see it was just a rough patch, and we’re very happy to have you here at the Daily Saver.”

  “This is my new salary?” It was an almost fifteen thousand dollar increase over her current salary, and she couldn’t help popping out of her chair when the woman smiled and nodded.

  Holy shit.

  “It took a lot of string pulling, they really felt like we only needed one senior level copy editor, but I put my foot down about it. I said we were lucky to have you, and damn it you deserved the title.” Brenda looked a little uncomfortable with her use of the curse word, but Maddie walked around the desk and pulled her into a hug. She was stiff for a moment, but then the woman relaxed slightly and patted her on the back.

  “Thank you, thank you so much! You have no idea what this means, it’s just – it’s perfectly timed, and I’m so sorry about that stuff a few weeks ago. I had some personal things, but that’s done. Over with.” She leaned back from Brenda, smiling, and her manager squeezed her free hand.

  “I’m glad it’s done, you would be some challenging shoes to fill, Madeline.”

  �
�You know, you can call me Maddie, Brenda.”

  Looking even more uncomfortable, the woman nodded. “Okay… Maddie. Well, that was it. Now that I’ve told you, I’ll go ahead and send it through payroll processing, and you can change your email signature as soon as I send out the email announcement.”

  “Thank you so much, Brenda. Really, this is fantastic.”

  “You’re welcome, but it was your hard work that made it possible.” Brenda was standing next to her desk, her fingers toying with the edge of her day planner, and Maddie finally just moved to the door.

  “I appreciate you going to bat for me.” She offered a smile, and then left her office before things got any more awkward. The smile wouldn’t leave her lips though and Jamar gave her a questioning look, but she held up a finger asking him to wait.

  Feeling like she was about to burst with the news, Maddie pulled up her phone and sent off a text to Thomas: I just got a promotion at work!

  Jamar threw a pen at her and she looked up to see him shrugging his shoulders, his hands out. “What’s going on?” he whispered.

  Rolling her eyes, Maddie clicked on her inbox, waiting for the email to come through. A minute or so later she saw the message from Brenda to all internal staff, and she snapped her fingers and pointed at her computer screen. “Email!” she hissed at Jamar, and he sighed and turned back to his computer.

  “What? Congrats, Maddie!” Jamar announced across the floor, standing up at his desk. Heads popped up around the room from various departments.

  “Would you sit down?” Maddie laughed, her blush creeping into her cheeks, but then a few of the coworkers around her started to lean over the cube walls and congratulate her. Email responses started to tumble in telling her congratulations, and she waved at Brenda as she peeked out of her office for a moment.

  “Totally well-deserved, Ginger.”

  “Thanks, Gilligan.” Smiling at him as he snagged the spot on top of her filing cabinet, she waited for him to crack a joke, but he didn’t.

  “Does this affect your decision at all?”

  Shaking her head she toyed with the case on her phone. “Not a bit, I think I knew what I was going to do before we even left the bar last night. I think this is just the universe telling me I made the right choice.”

  “This is big time enough for you?” He gestured at the dingy, rather small office, but when she looked around it didn’t bother her like it used to.

  “I think it’s where I need to be right now. I’ve got plenty of time, right?”

  “Plenty of time,” Jamar laughed. “You’re not even knocking on thirty yet, Ginger. World leaders will be there when you’re ready for the leap.”

  “Right, thanks.”

  “You’re welcome, Senior Copy Editor.” He said the last words way too loudly and she tried to kick him as he hopped off her cabinet, but she missed. Instead, he laughed as she scrunched up her nose at him, but she knew he was only messing with her because he was proud of her, and because he was her friend.

  Her phone buzzed and Maddie snagged it, excited, but that faded when she saw Antoine’s name. He was asking about the article again. Swiping her phone open, she tapped out a quick reply: We need to talk.

  The response was quick: When?

  Sighing, she wavered, and then sent: Tomorrow.

  Setting her phone down, she tried to focus on work, but she was too amped up. So, instead, she updated her email signature, and then did some math on what she estimated her new paychecks would be. With that bump she could probably afford an apartment with actual rooms. The last two hours of the workday were spent making sure her queue was empty, and replying to delayed congratulations as people saw the email. It was all a sign, a sign that what she’d felt in her heart was the right choice.

  Just before the end of the day her phone buzzed, but this time it was Thomas, and she couldn’t hide her smile. His text took her day from amazing to spectacular: I am so proud of you, beautiful. We’re going to celebrate as soon as I’m back. No arguing, I get to spoil you on this one.

  Jamar kicked her desk just as she was about to type out a reply. “Come on, time for your big dinner, Ginger the Senior Copy Editor. Nina is even going to meet us.”

  “We’re not doing a repeat of happy hour, are we?”

  “No way, moderate drinking only.” He laughed and clapped his hands together. “Party time! Let’s go!”

  A few of the people around them stood, asking if they could join in, and she was a little surprised that anyone else cared. Jamar looked at her, clearly signaling it was her choice, but she shrugged. It was a work thing, and they probably just wanted to avoid the bustle of people commuting out of the city. Raising her voice, she announced, “Anyone can come to dinner if they want!”

  “Italian food for all!” Jamar laughed.

  People started to gather their things, and she rushed to finish her text to Thomas, hitting send: I can’t wait to see you.

  “So, where are we going, Gilligan?”

  “Just around the corner, we can walk.”

  Brad stood up then, her ultra-quiet neighbor who did some of the graphics support for their ad clients. When he saw her looking at him, he stopped. “You did say anyone could come, right?”

  “Of course.” She smiled and waved him over. “Come on, Charlie Chaplin.” Maddie laughed when he looked confused, pausing with his coat half on. “It’s a joke, you know, because you’re so quiet?”

  “Oh, like how you pretend Jamar’s name is Gilligan?”

  “Exactly.” Laughing on the way out the door, she was a little overwhelmed by the small crowd of people that left with her. Even Brenda tagged on to the end of the group. By the time they walked into the Italian place, she counted everyone up and realized they needed a table for twelve, which was almost half the freaking office. Jamar held a seat open for Nina, and Brenda snuck into the seat on the other side of Maddie, and as soon as appetizers arrived, and the wine started flowing, everyone was talking. Actually talking to each other, which was a little weird. It was a little stilted and awkward at first, but then people were chatting about TV shows they watched, and Maddie joined in on the ones she’d caught on Netflix.

  Talk turned to the nicknames she and Jamar had for each other, and Brad proudly spoke up that he was Charlie Chaplin. Groans of jealousy came from around the table, and she realized that while she’d thought the little joke with Jamar had just been a stupid running gag – it actually mattered to the others. Soon enough, everyone was picking out names of old television and film characters for each other.

  One of the ad guys got the nickname Don Draper for his job and his smoking habit, a woman in distribution got the nickname Dana Scully, both for her hair and her affinity for sci-fi. By the end of the meal everyone there had one, and people were picking out ones for others back at the office, texting them the names with more excitement than she’d seen any of them display in almost two years. After a while, Brenda spoke up and asked everyone to give her a nickname, but only Jamar was gutsy enough to speak up, “Definitely Leslie Knope.”

  “Who?” Don Draper asked.

  “She’s the lead on Parks & Recreation? Plucky, blonde boss who thinks her tiny department in some no-name town is the best in the world?” Jamar started laughing, and Maddie couldn’t hold it in, and then the whole table was laughing – including Brenda. Their manager’s single-minded pride of the Daily Saver D.C. made her a perfect Leslie Knope.

  “To Leslie!” Maddie raised her wine glass, and everyone else cheered back.

  It felt like her life had turned a page in the last twenty-four hours. A really big, really scary page, but when she looked around at all of the people she’d spent a year and a half working with – she realized she’d never even given them the chance to be her friend. Never really taken the time to try and make friends. Jamar had bullied his way into her life with his loud, funny personality, but everyone else had been mostly ignored. She’d been so focused on leaving, on getting a different job, that she
hadn’t even paid attention to what was possible right in front of her. Fun coworkers, an office that didn’t have to be miserable and quiet… and this was just the beginning.

  The beginning of a new kind of life in more ways than one – a job she was discovering she could actually enjoy, an exciting new relationship, and a whole world of kink to explore – and it felt right. As if pieces of a puzzle she hadn’t been aware of were slowly clicking into place right before her eyes.

  It’s all about the choices we make.

  Maddie was on cloud nine as she hopped out of the car in front of her apartment building. It was frigid, the snow was dirty, and she almost lost her footing in the slush by the curb. Muttering to herself, she clutched her phone in her hand and tried to walk carefully towards the stairs, but a few steps away from the handrail that would have kept her upright – she slipped on some hidden ice, and went down hard. “Fuck!”

  Her nice, office jeans were soaking up the grime on the ground as she tried to get herself upright without falling again, and then she heard someone shout her name. “Maddie? Maddie!”

  Looking up, she was simultaneously thrilled and mortified by what she saw. “Thomas?” He almost slid too as he got to her, but managed to retain his footing and help her off the ground, just like the knight she knew he was. Always rescuing her.

  “Are you okay?” His strong arms wrapped around her, hugging her tight, and she smiled against his chest as she breathed in the scent of his cologne, her embarrassment starting a fire in her cheeks.

  “I’m fine, I just can’t believe I fell. So stupid.” Leaning back she felt like she had to make sure it was really him, but those hazel eyes met hers and they were definitely his. Still the mixture of forest green and brown that she loved. “How on earth are you here? I thought you were still in New York.”