Vestige of Courage

by Sara Blackard

  Beatrice stood, staring at the fabric, wondering at what she had just witnessed. She’d never seen anyone like that, even when she shared a room with her sister. What made her heart pick up even more speed was the lack of clothing the women were wearing as they passed her heading out to the doors. With dread, she dropped the stack Chase had handed her on the bench. She took a deep breath and, acting as if the pile hid a rattler, pulled the items aside to investigate. The towel on top was plush and soft. In between the folds of the towel was a small smooth fabric bundle. She picked it up with the tips of her fingers and held it straight out in front of her. While there was more fabric than some of the women she’d passed had worn, what she held would barely cover her trunk, leaving her legs completely exposed. She quickly wrapped it into the towel and pulled the bundle to her chest.

  Beatrice closed her eyes and shook her head. She hugged the bundle tight, willing the tears that threatened to fall to stay in her head. I can do this. Her breath shuddered out of her. She couldn’t do this. She pushed out of the alcove, bumping into a lady. With a whispered apology, she rushed down the hall, holding her speed to a quick walk, her head lowered, hoping others wouldn’t see her panic. The instant she hit open air, Beatrice sprinted for the truck, praying Chase wouldn’t be too disappointed in her.

  Chapter 15

  September 30, 1883

  Dear Beatrice, We took our boys and Baby Beatrice to the Yampah springs area to prepare for winter like we used to with Pa and Ma. I couldn’t believe how much it has changed. It’s as if the minute the Utes were pushed out, the prospectors started slapping up buildings. They’ve named the town Defiance. Can you believe that? It’s full of defiance all right, defiance against God. We pitched our tent aways from the awful place and plan to only stay a few nights before heading back to the homestead. I’m worried if Colorado keeps growing like it is with as many ruffians as we get, Hunter will never come off the mountain, especially since I’m pregnant again.

  Chase paced in front of the door, whirling as it opened. His shoulders slumped when two teenage girls walked out, giggling when they noticed him. Beatrice should’ve been out by now. He opened the door with more force than he should have and snagged a blonde lady heading into the locker room.

  “Excuse me, miss.” He pasted on his smile, hoping the dimples would work in convincing the lady to help him.

  Her annoyed look turned to a smile when she looked up at him, her eyelashes batting like they would fly off. “Yes?”

  “I’m worried about my friend who hasn’t come out. Would you mind seeing if you could find a Beatrice in there and make sure everything’s alright?” He prayed the woman wouldn’t pout.

  “Sure, hun. Let me go see.” She glided down the hall, sending one last smile his way before disappearing.

  He leaned up against the wall, his leg bouncing nervously. What would he do if she wouldn’t come out? Had he guessed the wrong size for her swimsuit, and she was mad it didn’t fit? He shook his head. That didn’t sound like Beatrice. He grabbed the towel draped around his neck and pulled. He closed his eyes and attempted to relax.

  “There’s no one named Beatrice in there.” The blonde approached, her words sending his stomach to his toes.

  “There isn’t?”

  “Nope, unless she isn’t answering.” The lady twirled her blonde hair around her finger and simpered. “If your friend has ditched you, you can hang out with me.”

  “Thanks, but I need to find her.”

  He started for the pool area, stalling when his hand pushed on the door. He’d already searched all the pools for her … twice. There was no way he had missed her. He turned and strode through the gift shop. He broke into a run when he cleared the entry. His flip flops clicking on his feet made running in the rocks difficult, but when he saw the figure leaning against his truck, her head held in her hands, he tore across the parking lot.

  “Beatrice!” Her head jerked up at his yell.

  She turned from him and circled to the other side of the truck. He grabbed her arm before she could hide. She flopped against the truck, her chin dipping down.

  “Beatrice, what’s wrong?” He pushed his hand into her hair and lifted her head. She shook her head. “Honey, please tell me what’s got you so upset.”

  “I feel so stupid.” Pink stained her cheeks when she finally looked up.

  “I promise, you aren’t stupid.” He held up his hands. “I promise.”

  She took a deep breath. “It’s just … the thing is … I can’t go out in public practically naked as a jaybird!”

  He took a step back, trying hard not to burst into laughter. He covered his mouth just in case it twitched in amusement and nodded in a way he hoped appeared sage and understanding. Just another situation he hadn’t thought all the way through.

  “I know things are different, and people wear less clothing, but I just … I can’t.” Her look of defeat pulled the smile right off his face. “We always swam in our underthings, which honestly covered much more than most of the clothes I’ve seen people wear here.”

  Chase followed Beatrice’s quick glance to where a group of girls walked in short shorts and tank tops even though the fall weather had turned the air crisp. He turned back to her and nodded. He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

  “I’m sorry I ruined your plans again, Chase. Eventually, maybe I’ll be able to get over my embarrassment, bu …” Her voice trailed off.

  “You didn’t ruin my plans. I just keep forgetting how different things are for you.” He wiggled her hand and smiled. “I still have lots of plans that are much more exciting anyway. Just give me two minutes to change.”

  Five minutes later he drove through Glenwood, heading toward a place he was almost positive she would approve of. He peeked over at where she gazed out the window like it held all of life’s answers. She hadn’t slid over next to him, choosing instead to sit slumped next to the door. He loathed the space, both physically and emotionally, that he felt from her. He would save this day, no matter what the cost. This day would end with the same sense of excited expectation it began with. Chase would make sure of it.

  Beatrice peeked over the seat into the back, her heart lighter than it had been in a long time. The case to the longbow Chase had bought her lay on the seat like a prized calf. She turned back around and smiled out the windshield.

  “Is it still there?” he teased.

  She surveyed his profile. His strong jaw clenched before slowly revealing his dimple. He stopped at the red light that hung above the street and turned his head toward her. His eyes held a warmth that set a thousand hummingbirds to flying in her stomach. He reached over, never breaking eye contact, and unbuckled her belt. His arm wrapped around her waist, and he pulled her next to him. He leaned over and sighed, his breath brushing her neck and sending her heart to galloping.

  “I’m better when you sit here.” He leaned away and handed her the seatbelt.

  Beatrice wasn’t sure how she got the thing buckled with her fingers feeling numb and uncoordinated, but she clicked it in and twisted her hands in her lap. He grabbed her hand like he had earlier and let out a deep breath before speeding onto the interstate. Something had changed in him, a determination that hadn’t been there earlier. Or maybe it had been there but she’d missed it.

  He’d always given her his undivided attention, wanting to support her as she struggled. Now, however, she felt as if he was an eagle circling overhead, just waiting for the most opportune time to swoop down and take her away. The feeling was both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. She hadn’t the faintest idea why she would turn his head with her sudden penchant for weeping and her inability to fit in with the standards. She wondered if she’d be able to hold his regard or if the novelty of her would wear off, and she’d become more hassle than it was worth.

  “I loved watching you shoot that bow.” His voice broke into her doubts and questions. “It became an extension of yourself, like you wer
e one and the same.”

  She shrugged, hoping the tone of her voice came across as nonchalant as the action. “Years of practice I guess.”

  “I can’t wait to watch you where you can really get into action. We’ll have to set up a practice range in the field or something.” He squeezed her hand, his anticipation kicking her just-calmed heart back into a trot.

  “I’d like that.” She cringed when her words squeaked. She cleared her throat before continuing. “I’d like that a lot.”

  “Do you think you could teach me how to shoot?”

  Beatrice thought about what it would take to teach Chase to shoot the bow. She’d have to get close to him, real close. She’d have a reason to touch him beyond when he was comforting her or coaxing her out of her fear. Though they were touching right now, and it had nothing to do with her insecurities. Yeah, she wouldn’t mind teaching him, not in the least.

  “I wouldn’t mind teaching you.” She met his eyes as he peered over at her.

  The look of question in his gaze, and the way he leaned slightly into her before jerking his attention back to the road, made her wonder what he heard in her voice.

  “I still can’t believe you not only bought me that beautiful bow, but this revolver.” She touched the small handgun attached to her belt. “It’s really all too much.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not much at all, especially if it makes you act like a little girl at Christmas time. I know how important they were to you, so it’s of little consequence if it makes being here more like home for you.”

  They rode in silence for a bit, music softly floating through the air. She never knew what to expect when it came to his music selection. Sometimes it was loud and demanding in its nature. He called it classic rock, which was the essence of the sound … hard. He had explained, with an air of reverence, that it had been his father’s favorite kind of music.

  Sometimes the songs that played twanged like the music she’d heard played around campfires with harmonicas and a fiddle or a guitar. When she’d asked about it, he explained his mother had always liked country. She peeked at him from the corner of her eye and wondered what type of music he’d pick as his own.

  “You okay with grabbing an early dinner on the way through town?” he asked.

  “That would be fine by me.” She squelched the questions about him down.

  “Good, I’m starving.” He smiled over at her like he was starving for something other than a meal.

  They got off of the interstate in a town she hadn’t seen before. “Where are we?”

  “Welcome to Silt, Colorado. There’s not much here, but The Miner’s Claim has some amazing food,” Chase answered.

  “Silt?” She scrunched her forehead at the name. “Why would you name your town after dirt in the bottom of a river?”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “I’ve wondered the exact same thing! Couldn’t they come up with anything better than dirt?”

  Beatrice snorted, hiding her mouth behind her free hand. Chase winked, then pulled to a stop in front of a small restaurant that had an actual boardwalk leading to its door. She already liked the place, whether the food was good or not. He opened his door and pulled her hand so she exited his way. He led her up the boardwalk, requested a seat under the tent, and finally let her hand go when they sat at their table. She flexed her fingers below the table, missing the heat his hand created within hers.

  Her eyes widened at the number of items on the menu. How was she to ever pick? She settled on the mushrooms and chicken, though she wasn’t sure why it would be colored burgundy. After ordering their food, she considered the area around her.

  Chase had chosen a table in the corner, though no one else was seated outside. Music played over the speakers, and she thought it sounded like his country. She was glad for the solitude and thanked God that they had arrived before dinner. She was sure with the amount of seating available, the restaurant must get busy. It had a cozy atmosphere, like you might have just arrived at a friend’s house instead of an eatery with fancy sounding meals.

  “We’ll have to come back sometime when it’s busy. It’s a lot of fun watching people—” Chase stopped his sentence mid-thought and sat back, a sad smile on his face as he stared out into the street.

  She turned and looked where he gazed, but nothing was there. “Chase, are you okay?”

  He shook his head like he was shaking loose from a thought. His eyes connected with hers, his sad smile growing a little. He pushed his chair back, stood, and came around the table, holding his hand out to her.

  “Would you honor me with this dance?” he asked.

  She looked around, though no one was there to see them.

  “Come on, Beatrice. I want to dance with you to my mom’s favorite song.”

  She tentatively placed her hand in his. “I’ve never done this before.” Her voice shook with nerves.

  “Don’t worry. In the last hundred and fifty years or so, dancing has degraded to simply swaying in place.” He pulled her to an open spot, placed her hands on his shoulders, and wrapped his hands around her waist. He moved the two of them side to side while turning in place. “That’s not too hard, is it?”

  Beatrice swallowed and shook her head, not trusting her voice to work. As they swayed to the music, he pulled her closer. He spread his hands across her back. She swore lightning must’ve been flashing from his fingertips for the heat that shot up her spine. She tried to slow her breathing but felt as if all the air had been stolen from around her, which was ridiculous since they were technically outside.

  She cleared her throat. “This was your mom’s favorite song?”

  “Mmhmm.” He pulled her closer, though she didn’t know how that was possible.

  “Wha—what’s it called?”

  His intense stare made talking difficult.

  “‘When You Say Nothing At All’ by Alison Krauss.” He pushed her hair behind her ear, his hand burning a trail down her neck and over her shoulder before settling on her lower back. “I used to catch my parents dancing in the kitchen to this song.”

  Beatrice focused on the lyrics floating airily over them. The silvery words caught hold of her, the truth settling deep into her soul. She looked into Chase’s eyes, his gaze intent on her, and knew the song sang his heart. He didn’t have to say anything. He would never leave her, and hadn’t he already proven he’d catch her every time she fell? Her heart pounded painfully in her chest as she leaned forward, rising on her toes.

  “Beatri—”

  She stopped his husky whisper with a soft kiss, her first kiss.

  Chase moaned and pulled her closer, angling his head to deepen the kiss. She never knew kissing could feel like this, the heat of fire and shivers of cold at the same time. Her heart soared, and she thought she might just float away if he didn’t hold on to her. He slowed their kiss before pulling away, his reluctance shown in the quick kisses he placed along her jaw until he buried his face into her hair.

  He took a shuddering deep breath in. “I’m yours, Beatrice, lock, stock, and barrel. There’s no going back now.”

  Beatrice threw her arms around him and held on. Her words jammed in her throat. She trembled as he held her tight. The heart of this amazing man balanced easily against everything she’d lost. She didn’t want to go back, not now, not when the discontent that plagued her soul had finally lifted.

  Chapter 16

  November 5, 1884

  Hey, man. Viola’s pregnant again. This will be number four, and I’m just as scared with this one as I was with the first. I’m so glad I waited. I can’t imagine going through this stress with someone I didn’t love as completely as I love Viola. Maybe this one will be mellow and balance the other three out a bit. There’s nothing in the world like being a father. I hope you get to experience it someday when you get married. Wish I could be there to see them. Love you, bud.

  Chase’s body hadn’t stopped buzzing through dinner, nor the drive up the mountain. He was g
lad the sun still had about an hour before it disappeared. He’d likely need to jog—no run—to burn the extra energy that singed his neurons and made him lose focus. He supposed that wasn’t completely true. His focus was firmly on Beatrice, whose head rested on his shoulder, instead of the road before them.

  He pulled into the drive and turned off the ignition. She sat up, her eyes sleepy and her expression serene. Her lips turned up slowly, and he leaned in to capture the smile. The sound of a vehicle pulling in jerked her away. She ducked her head and pink bloomed up her cheeks.

  Man, he loved how pure she was. He had never been comfortable with how flirtatious some women were, well most of the women he’d spent time with back when he dabbled in relationships. It had always seemed fake or forced. There was nothing fake about Beatrice. He just wished he had followed his father’s advice and came to her as innocent as she was.

  He got out of the truck, pulling her with him. She glanced over to the car, where someone was turned in the driver’s seat, searching for something in the back. She touched the gun holstered at her hip, and he hid his smile by rubbing his mouth.

  “You expecting someone?” she asked.

  He couldn’t stop the chuckle her cautious tone caused.

  “It’s alright, Bea. People visit people all the time now. No need to call in the cavalry just yet.” He brought her hand up and kissed it, then headed toward the beat-up sedan.