Kellie's Diary (Book 5)
Page 5
After I stopped, Sarah told me that I had been sleeping for over 2 days. She also said that I was tossing and turning a lot, and saying weird things in my sleep. I don't remember anything like that.
I've been here for almost a week now, I think. I've never seen Jonathan scared before. And it wasn't like he was scared for his life, it's like he was scared to see me. We've talked a little bit, but he seems really... uneasy, I guess. Like he's afraid of saying something wrong. It's not like I can't handle what someone says, chances are I've heard worse. But I'm not going to bring it up, there's no reason to. I guess he'll talk to me at some point. I missed them so much.
I know that one of the first things I asked Sarah was if she had seen Victor. She had no idea who I was talking about, so I asked if she saw Lydia. She said no, and she looked like she was going to cry too.
By the way, I wasn't the only girl that made it out alive. There are about 5 other girls that are here in this new group. They have their own spaces with some of the other people, and they're doing... whatever they're doing to feel better. Maybe they have their own Barbies they can write to. Who knows, I haven't gone and talked to them, I just saw them while walking around.
I kind of wouldn't want to talk to them anyway. I know that when I see them, it'll just makes me think of The Pit. They'd probably feel the same way about me.
So I figured I'd tell you what really happened that night. At least according to Sarah.
About a week before that night, the bus stopped by their camp. No one from their group used any of the girls, so they left. Sarah says that they suspected slavers, so they followed the bus and staked out the town for a bit to see if it was true. They said that after interrogating someone coming out of there, they learned the whole town was a bunch of slavers. So they decided they were going to try to save the girls. The day that Sarah came down into The Pit, she had gotten access because she said she was interested in what they were selling. She actually was trying to see how they could save the girls – but then she saw me down there. When she saw me, she tried to make deals with the guard, but she didn't have enough to trade for... me.
Anyway, so after she left, the rest of the group were trying to come up with a break-in plan to rescue us, and all they could think of was to break down the front doors. When they got there that night, they already heard all the noise and shooting. So they decided to just drive through the doors and set fires all over the place to add to the chaos. They found The Pit and tried to get some of the girls out, but only a couple were still alive. Others were missing, and a few were dead, but they kept looking for me. Then they saw me with the zombies cornering me, and... well, you know the rest now.
Right now, the only thing I really care about is finding Victor and Lydia. The problem is I have no freaking clue where they went. It's been maybe a couple of months since I've seen her, and for all I know, she might be dead right now. I can't keep thinking that way though. If I find Victor, I know I can find her.
Fucking Victor..... Barbie, you have no idea what I'm going to do if I ever see him again. If he gave up my sister to the life I just lived through, you can bet that whatever I dish out will still be too good for him. That fucker needs to die in the most painful way possible. Maybe I'll sell him in his own pit. Maybe then he'll understand how it feels to go through all the bullshit that us girls had to live with.
How many other girls like that are out there? Like me, or Mick? Just stuck somewhere they can't escape? What if there are more towns like that? With all the sick people that Victor knew, it wouldn't surprise me if there were a lot more.
Sarah isn't sure where to start looking yet. If I can remember where some of these places were, like Peter's place, maybe it would lead us somewhere. Though to be honest, I don't want to keep thinking about it. But I may not have a choice if it means finding Lydia. It's a long shot but I don't know what else to do.
Well anyway, being in this new group has been okay. I haven't seen Bagman around, I'm not freaking out or getting sick as much as I was, and I'm not getting as dizzy anymore. I guess I was on that nasty shit for way too long, doing too much of it. Sarah says that the freakouts, the crying and the weird pains are all part of me coming off of the junk. I still want to do it, but I also know what it does to me. I need to get back to where I was. I have to get myself strong again.
I'm just afraid that it's too late. What if all the shit that's happened has been too much for me? What if I'm still going to die from all this? You can't see it Barbie, but I've got a bunch of new scars now. I'm a lot skinnier, I can actually see bones underneath. Yeah, I'm eating again, but it's just... not the same anymore. I kind of look older, from what I can see. I honestly don't want to look at myself, because all I can see is myself in Victor's mirror.
Sarah seems surprised that I'm even alive. I realize that I've been through a hell of a lot over all these years, but I'm not sure if I can even consider myself lucky. A lot of the Pit girls were just waiting to die down there. I was almost one of them. Part of me wishes I was dead, because now I have to live with all these memories of what happened. Then again, if I did die, there would be no chance of anyone finding Lydia, because they wouldn't know where to even start. They might have thought she was dead too.
Oh my god! Barbie, I didn't think I'd ever actually feel happy again. Sarah just brought me Mr. Floppy!!! I thought he was lost forever!! Sarah said she found him back at the train later after the attack. That's where Lydia told me she dropped him! He seems happy, too. It looks like Sarah took good care of him. I think maybe I'll actually sleep good tonight. I started crying, but this time I was happy. It's a strange feeling, but I like it a lot better.
Now I HAVE to find Lydia. She's going to want to see Mr. Floppy again. They became such good friends. It's the right thing to do. I may have had him most of my life, but she really depended on him to help her stay happy.
I have to stay alive for her. Maybe that's why I lived through all this. I'm the only one left she has, and if she's still stuck with Victor, there's no telling how long she'll last. If she's really this "holy grail" that he thinks she is, then he may keep her safe. But what if she isn't? I don't actually think she is, because it doesn't make sense to me. Either way, if she isn't, then he has no more use for her...
I'm the only shot Lydia has at surviving.
And when I see Victor again... well, if there really is a God out there, I hope he has mercy on him, because I won't.
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Important Message From the Authors
Once again, thank you for reading Kellie's Diary! We're very fortunate that you've taken this journey with us; it's been a hell of a ride. Kellie's been through all sorts of environmental and personal trials, and has somehow endured it all. That being said, there are a couple important things we need to talk about with regard to this latest release, Kellie's Diary #5.
First of all – we've received a good response to this new text format as opposed to the first 3 issues. True, some of the "authenticity" of a written diary is diminished in a purely artistic way, but it hasn't appeared to affect the reception of the story. So for now, it will remain in the same format.
Now on to the important stuff. As you are now aware, there were some very dark scenarios described in this entry. For the first time, there was actually a content advisory for this volume (see the front page). In earlier issues, we've had difficult subject matter to write – most notably in Kellie's Diary #2, there were implied references to child abuse. To put it bluntly, this time around it was much worse, in our opinion.
Let us be clear up front – we are not glorifying the types of things you saw in this book. Far from it. In fact, this was our way of raising awareness of a subject that is very important to us. Everyone has their own way of trying to educate others of world situations; some help the homeless, some work toward world peace, some want to save the rainforest, etc.
Ours is human trafficking and slavery. In our opinion, taking someone's freedom
is one of the worst things that can be done to another human being. Sometimes it's in the form of forced labor, but it's more common to see sex slavery. Trafficking still goes on to this day and, realistically, it could continue despite the apocalypse. We don't claim to be experts on the topic, we are simply being creative in our observations of the world.
Of course, the message was delivered in typical Kellie's Diary fashion: through her eyes. We've always done our best to make Kellie's experiences as authentic as possible, and this entry was no different. Her world is horrifically ugly, not including the zombies. So we hope you are able to appreciate the work put into it, and the fact that we've had many gut-wrenching days during writing. Trust us, there were several times we'd be staring at our screen trying to figure out how to depict a scene in a way that wasn't overtly graphic, but still delivered the image. Being tasteful on such ill subject matter is no easy task by any means.
If it makes you feel any better, this is probably the worst that Kellie will endure in her life. We don't foresee her suffering in worse conditions than depicted here.
So we hope you enjoyed the story, and as always, we welcome and value your feedback.
-Tom & Angie
Website: http://www.surviveentertainment.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SurviveEnt
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/SurviveEnt
Email: info@kelliesdiary.com
From the Artist...
The picture you just saw is the first official artwork of Kellie herself. I actually made this one on a whim, shortly after KD4 was released. Usually I have to work at characters for a while to get them right, but this one came together so seamlessly. Because Tom and I already had the plan (mostly) laid out for KD5, I started picturing how she looked during that time. This was the result. I was trying to show the combination of fear, determination and curiosity that embodies her personality. Or she could just be staring the camera down.
There will be more character art in the future as time allows, if Kellie ever lets us get a word in edgewise.
--Angie
My art postings, going back to 2008...
http://www.renderosity.com/mod/gallery/browse.php?user_id=570709
Thank you for reading! To learn more about us and to get in contact, you can visit the following sites:
Email: info@kelliesdiary.com
Website: http://www.surviveentertainment.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SurviveEnt
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/SurviveEnt
Merchandise: http://surviveent.spreadshirt.com
Table of Contents
Copyright
Other Available Titles by These Authors:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Important Message From the Authors