What Dreams May Lie

by Alana Terry

  Ricky grinned as best as he could with his mouth full of buttery garlic breadstick. As uncertain as he’d been a little earlier, he’d definitely made the right decision about staying for dinner after Carly stormed out.

  The waitress left, and Ricky noted with a sense of pride that he hadn’t spilled any of his soup or salad on the tablecloth or on himself.

  “Yeah, well, when I take some gal out for a nice meal, it’s only reasonable to expect a little something in return.”

  The man behind him had been talking at that obnoxiously loud volume ever since Ricky got his food. He couldn’t hear the replies of the woman as clearly, but he’d picked up on enough to know that as poorly as his first date had gone with Carly, the woman behind him was in even worse shape.

  “If you were just looking for a free meal, that’s what welfare is for, babe. You think I make a ton of money? You think I’m in the habit of driving hours out of my way to pick up chicks and pay for a big expensive meal like this and then going home without so much as a thank you? Why would I have driven all that distance to pick you up if I wasn’t expecting to take you home with me? That’s not how I work, babe.”

  “Well, it’s how I work,” his date retorted. Ricky was glad she was finally standing up for herself. Someone needed to tell that jerk off.

  “You think something like cramps is an excuse? You know how much this dinner cost?”

  “Do you know how much I don’t care?” she shot back.

  Wait a minute. He recognized that voice.

  “You know, the more we talk, the more I get the impression that you went into tonight thinking you’d get a free meal without having to give anything in return.”

  “Congratulations, bozo,” she said. “That was exactly my intention.”

  “Just what kind of brat do you think you are?”

  Ricky turned around in his seat. There was no way he could sit by and let someone talk to any woman like that, especially not someone he knew.

  “Hey,” he said, forcing as much assertiveness into his tone as possible. “Hey, stop talking to her like that. When you’re out on a date with somebody, you’ve got to treat her like a lady.”

  The man turned around and glared at him. “Who told you that? Your mama?”

  “Actually,” Ricky replied, “she ... Never mind about that. Why are you bugging her so much?”

  “What business is it of yours anyway? From what I saw earlier, you think I’m going to be taking dating advice from you?”

  Ricky swallowed down his humiliation. “All I’m saying is you need to treat a lady with respect.”

  The man turned back around and slung his arm around Jillian. “I’ll treat her right when she learns her place.”

  Jillian stood up on the bench. “That’s it,” she declared.

  The man stared at her with wide eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked. “Get down from there.”

  “No. I’ve asked you several times to scoot over and let me out, but since you’re obviously a buffoon whose vocabulary is too limited to understand what I’m saying, I can just take care of it myself.”

  She stepped over the back of the seats until she was standing on the bench next to Ricky. “Mind if I join you?”

  Ricky stared at her as she sat down beside him.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” the man behind them growled.

  “Take a hint, buddy,” Jillian flung back at him. “Our date just officially ended.”

  CHAPTER 25

  “I’M REALLY SORRY,” Ricky said.

  Jillian reached out for another breadstick. “You don’t have any reason to apologize. That guy’s a jerk. The worst part of it is he’s my ride all the way back home ...”

  “Not anymore.”

  Jillian looked like she was about to argue, then stared at the table. “Thanks.”

  “Don’t mention it.”

  “It was really stupid of me. I didn’t even tell my aunt where I was going. I just said I’d be out for a few hours. It could have ended really badly.”

  If Ricky hadn’t known better, he might have thought there was a tremor in her voice.

  “Well, the good news is you don’t have to rely on him driving you home.”

  “Yeah, but now he knows where I live, and ...”

  Ricky waved his napkin, which landed partially in his water cup. “Don’t worry about that. Jerks like him wouldn’t waste the time it’d take to track you down.”

  “Thanks, I think.” Jillian smiled.

  Ricky wasn’t exactly sure what was so funny, but he returned her grin. “You’re welcome, I think.”

  “So I take it your date didn’t turn out that hot either?” She let out a little chuckle. “Or maybe it was too hot, and that was the problem.”

  It felt good to be able to laugh about Carly. “I had no idea what was happening.”

  “Yeah, that’s why they put those heat scale questions in there. Are you telling me your mom actually thought it had to do with what food you liked to eat?”

  Ricky would rather die than confess he’d thought the same thing until the minute Carly stormed out of the restaurant.

  He chuckled with Jillian, noting how much more relaxed he felt now that he was here with someone he already knew.

  “I’m glad you showed up,” he admitted. “I felt kind of strange eating my breadsticks all alone.”

  “You know they’re going to charge us both now that there’s two of us sharing the meal, right?”

  Ricky shrugged. His dad had slipped him the credit card earlier, so he wasn’t too worried. “I’ll take care of it.”

  Jillian reached into her purse. “Let me cover my half, all right? After everything, it’s the least I can do.”

  Ricky reached his hand out to stop her from digging into her purse. “No, really. Let me pay. I want to.”

  Jillian narrowed her eyes. “I said I’d take care of it.” Her voice was a near growl.

  “Oh.” Ricky stared at her, wondering what had brought on the sudden transformation. Hadn’t they been laughing just a few seconds ago?

  She let out her breath, and stuck some money on the side of the table next to the five-dollar bill Carly had plunked down. Ricky was confused. Wasn’t the man supposed to always pay for the meal?

  He opened his mouth once more to protest, saw Jillian’s set expression, and changed his mind. If his mom asked about the bill, he’d just say they got a special discount.

  In a way, it was the truth.

  Sort of.

  “Hey, babe.”

  Ricky looked up to see Jillian’s former date glaring down at them. “Good luck getting home. You know there’s no way I’m making that drive twice.”

  She smiled. “Good night to you, too. I had a swinging good time,” she added sarcastically.

  He gave her a sickeningly sweet smile, turned to scowl at Ricky, and left.

  “Where’d you find a winner like that?” Ricky asked.

  “Just some website.” She wiped her mouth with her napkin. “But let’s forget about him. Tell me about your mom. Did she seriously set you up with your own dating profile?”

  CHAPTER 26

  AFTER ALL-YOU-CAN EAT breadsticks, soup, and salad, Jillian could swear she’d die if she tried to swallow down one more bite. So why was Ricky still trying to talk her into dessert?

  “No, seriously,” she insisted. “I really can’t.”

  “Watching your weight?” he joked, and then his face fell. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean ...”

  She studied his features, trying to guess how much he already knew.

  “What exactly didn’t you mean?”

  “That you were the kind of girl who would have to watch her weight in the first place.”

  She let out her breath. Good. She was surprised that she’d made it through half a week in Orchard Grove without the pregnancy becoming common knowledge. When she showed up in church on Sunday, she expected to end up as the primar
y subject of that week’s prayer chain update.

  Did you hear the McAllister girl’s pregnant?

  Who’s the dad, I wonder.

  I always said there was something off about that family.

  What do you expect after what her father did?

  She hated her dad for what he’d done to their family, and she hated her mom for sticking with him. Her father claimed his affair had been a one-time mistake and that was all, but Jillian didn’t even care. After what he’d done — dragging their whole family through so much shame, making them move to a new town, costing them all their friends — she figured he didn’t deserve to be forgiven. Maybe not the godliest of attitudes, but once she saw the way the people at Orchard Grove had crucified her entire family for her father’s sin, she didn’t care all that much anymore about what other Christians thought about her and her life choices.

  At least she didn’t have to deal with her parents now. Her father was the worst. As soon as she told him about the pregnancy, he’d done nothing but shake his head and pace the hallways, muttering under his breath, “Where did I go wrong?”

  If he’d bothered to ask Jillian, she could have told him in less than five seconds.

  “What about ice cream?” Ricky asked, interrupting her thoughts. “Do you think you have room for ice cream? Or frozen yogurt? We could find a frozen yogurt lounge.”

  “As fun as it’s been,” she said, wondering if the sarcasm would be lost on him, “I think I’m ready to head home. If that’s okay with you.”

  He shrugged. “Sure. I honestly didn’t expect my date to last even as long as it did, so if you’re sure you don’t want anything else to eat ...”

  Just the thought of one more bite made her queasy. “I’m sure.”

  “Well, then, let’s go.” He led the way to his car.

  “This is your ride?” she asked. “Sweet.”

  “It’s my dad’s, but he lets me use it.”

  He opened the passenger door for her then stood waiting for her to sit so he could hand her the seatbelt. On the surface, it seemed like a nice gesture, but it made her feel rushed, like the longer she took to get buckled, the more of his time she was wasting.

  Oh, well. If he wanted to stand there by the curb looking like an idiot, who was she to try to stop him?

  “What’s your dad do?” she asked when he got into the seat next to her.

  “Oh, he has his own courier business.” He turned to stare at her. “Didn’t I already tell you that?

  She shrugged. Next thing you know, he’d expect her to remember the name of the doctor who delivered him as a baby too.

  “So you’re okay?” he asked as they pulled onto the road. “You’re not too upset about that jerk?”

  “I’m fine. I’ve met plenty like him before. You get sort of used to it.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She glanced at him, surprised by how genuine he sounded. “Yeah, well, don’t worry about that. Speaking of bad dates though, that girl was literally all over you, wasn’t she?”

  He laughed sheepishly. If she weren’t so tired, she’d tease him just to see how deeply she could get him to blush.

  “It was a little awkward,” he admitted.

  “But you learned a lesson, right?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. Don’t let your mom fill out your dating profile. And make sure she knows what hot and spicy really means.”

  CHAPTER 27

  “AUNT CONNIE, I’M HOME,” Jillian called out as she kicked off her shoes. She had to get to the bathroom and find some supplies.

  Uncle Dennis looked up from his newspaper with a frown. “Your aunt’s worried.”

  “I told her I’d be gone a while.”

  “She’s been waiting up for hours.”

  Jillian ignored her uncle’s glare and peeked into the kitchen. “Connie?”

  “She’s out with the goats. Had to tuck the kids in all by herself tonight.”

  Jillian pulled her fashion boots back on. Not exactly the best for barn chores, but she didn’t want to run all the way to the back porch to find the right pair, not with her stomach this upset. Why had she eaten so many breadsticks?

  When she got to the barn, the door was already shut, but she couldn’t see her aunt anywhere. Funny. Had she stopped by the gift shop to make sure everything was locked up tight?

  “And you’re going to sleep well like a good little baby, aren’t you, sweet thing?”

  Jillian strained her ears. Was that sound coming from inside the barn?

  She rapped gently on the door. “Aunt Connie?”

  The wooden panel slip open, and her aunt slipped out. “So there you are.” She wrapped Jillian in a hug that smelled far too goaty for her comfort. “Your uncle and I were worrying our heads off over you.”

  “Sorry. I thought I said I’d be out for a little bit.”

  “An hour or two, that’s what I think of as a little bit. It’s past sundown,” Connie exclaimed, as if the entire population of Orchard Grove was made up of enchanted mortals who would turn into vampires if they stayed out after dark.

  “I’m sorry for worrying you.” After the long night she’d already had, it was hard to make her voice sound sincere. She gave her aunt one more hug, hoping it might earn her a little bit of leniency. “Next time I’ll be sure to call and check in, all right?”

  “Well, you better head to bed now, but tomorrow we’re going to need to have a long talk about your curfew. It’s not appropriate for a young woman in your condition to be out so late. Who were you with anyway?”

  At least this time she had an answer she thought her aunt would approve of. “Ricky Fields from church.”

  “You were out with Ricky Fields?” Connie stared at her with wide eyes. “Does his mother know?”

  Jillian had to stifle down a laugh. Somehow she had the feeling Ricky might not tell his mom every sordid detail about his night out on the town.

  CHAPTER 28

  JILLIAN WOKE UP WITH cramps and stared at the clock. Who was making so much noise at two in the morning? Was that one of the goats? It sounded like it was coming from outside.

  She had to go to the bathroom anyway. Why hadn’t that pregnancy center nurse warned her about all this second-trimester spotting? Well, there’d be no way she could go back to sleep until the racket died down, so she got out of bed, pulled on some yoga pants and a sweatshirt, and headed to the downstairs bathroom. For a minute, she thought that maybe Grandma Lucy was in her rocking chair, so she made a quick detour to check, but the prayer room was empty and dark. She slipped on her shoes and used her cell phone as a flashlight as she made her way to the barn.

  When she got outside, she confirmed the noise was coming from the goat pen, but she’d never heard an animal sound like that. She hesitated for just a moment before sliding the barn door open.

  It wasn’t the animals. It was her grandmother, on her knees in the hay, hands stretched up toward the rafters. Moonlight shined in from outside and lit up the tears on her cheeks. She was so caught up in her prayer that she didn’t even notice Jillian peering in.

  “Father God, lover of my soul, healer of all my sickness and sorrows, you know how much my granddaughter needs you, Lord. You know how lost and hurting she is, the way that she blames you for the way your people turned their backs on her and her family so many years ago. I confess the bitterness left in my own heart for the way my daughter and grandchildren were treated at a time when they were in so much need of your love and grace. Forgive me for all my faults, for all the ways I failed to pray for my grandchildren like I should. And now I see how my granddaughter resents you, how lost and hurting and broken she is, and I don’t know what to say to her. I don’t know how to reach her. It is only your Holy Spirit who can open her blind eyes so that she can see the depth of the love you have for her. It is only your truth that can show her that you are gracious and forgiving. She’s gotten such a poor taste of how your children should love each other, and I confess that sometimes I fear
the pain she’s experienced at the hands of other believers is enough to threaten her faith for good. And so I’m asking you to hear my prayer and heal my granddaughter from all the wounds that have been inflicted on her in the name of righteousness and godliness. Show her that you are love and that you have no part in the judgmental, hypocritical attitudes that she’s been exposed to her entire life. I don’t want to see her hurting anymore, Lord.”

  She opened her eyes and stared straight at Jillian without a hint of surprise. How long had Grandma Lucy known she was standing there?

  “Come here, child.”

  Jillian obeyed. What else could she do?

  “I heard a sound,” Jillian tried to explain. “I thought one of the goats might be in trouble.”

  “That’s why I come out here,” Grandma Lucy replied with a smile. “I’ve been known to be a little noisy in my prayers, and I’m sure that Connie and Dennis would rather get a full night’s sleep than listen to this old lady’s tears.”

  “What were you crying about?” It was a stupid question, but Jillian wanted to pretend that she had just entered and hadn’t heard a word of her grandmother’s prayer.

  Grandma Lucy smiled. “I was just doing what I do every night when I can’t sleep. Praying about the ones I love.”

  CHAPTER 29

  “I THINK PEACHES HAS really taken a liking to you,” Grandma Lucy remarked.

  Jillian had lost track of how long she and her grandmother had spent in the barn. It might have been five minutes or thirty, but she couldn’t even remember all that they talked about. Grandma Lucy would make a comment about one of the goats or ask Jillian something about her family, and then all of a sudden she’d break out into prayer, and then when she was finished, she’d go right back to her conversation with Jillian without so much as an amen. It was sometimes hard to figure out if she was talking to God or someone else at any specific moment.

  “What does Connie have planned for you to do tomorrow?” she asked. “Are you working in the store all day?”