Wasted Time

by Mya O'Malley

  His eyes held her gaze as she cleared her throat, ready to speak her vows.

  “Declan Blake, I don’t even know where to begin. It seems that it was always you and me. With a little help, the two of us somehow found each other through a very dark storm.”

  Her eyes rested on Amber, then Tach.

  “Words cannot touch how much I love you. You’ve brought me home, made me whole, and I vow to be faithful and love you every single day of my life. I’m proud to become Mrs. Declan Blake. I only wish that your mom was here to share in our day, although something tells me she is and had been in on this plan all along. I love you, my husband, I love you.”

  Tears streamed from her eyes, she promised herself that she wouldn’t cry, but she was helpless to stop once she saw Declan’s tears. At that moment, a breeze stirred and a hawk gracefully swooped close, too close to be normal. It wasn’t her imagination; the guests gasped and she knew in her heart that it was a gift from above.

  There was not a dry eye in the house as they exchanged rings and the pastor pronounced them man and wife.

  “You may kiss the bride.”

  And he did, with all the love he had for her, right in front of everyone. Applause sounded as friends and relatives shouted their approval.

  Declan didn’t want to let go of her hand as guests came over to wish them the best and congratulate them. He couldn’t pry his eyes from her face; he knew it would probably always be like this, and that’s what would keep him going. Morgan returned his look, that special glance that was just between the two of them.

  Wait until he got her alone tonight, he would be thinking about that the entire day.

  She was complete, her other half by her side. When Morgan thought that the day couldn’t be any better, she heard the song, their song. Starting softly, the DJ increased the volume as the guests stood back from the makeshift dance floor. Declan beamed at her, holding his hand out for her to grab. Once he had her in his arms, she was mush. Someone like you…

  She was back at the Ferris wheel, so long ago, when she swore that nothing could come between them. Then there was so much unhappiness, pain, and suffering — in her own life and in the world surrounding her. But somehow they had found their way back into each other’s lives, stronger than ever now. She was holding on for dear life; she would never be in that dark place again, without her husband by her side.

  “I love you, husband.”

  “Mmm, I love you too, wife. And I’m going to show you very soon how much I do,” Declan whispered into her ear as all eyes were upon them. As he kissed the side of her neck, she felt tiny electric chills race down her spine.

  The wedding day went by like a blur. Stephen’s best man speech was followed by Amber’s. Tach’s had been the most touching of all.

  “I am honored to be here today, to call myself a friend of both Declan and Morgan.” Hesitating, Tach cleared his throat before continuing. “Many of you probably know that I met Declan when he was in a low, low place.” More hesitation.

  “I’ve come across many soldiers in my line of duty, many men during my enlistment in the service. I have yet to meet anyone who is stronger mentally or physically than the man I am proud to call my friend, Mr. Declan Blake. Declan wanted me to go away when I first met him. He resisted my help, but I wouldn’t give up on our guy here because that was me. Many years ago, I was in that same dark hole. I said to myself, not this guy, I won’t let him go there. I made Declan my mission, my priority for that time. Although he’s one stubborn man, he finally showed me what he was made of.”

  Applause sounded, then silence as everyone waited for Tach to continue.

  “As far as Morgan goes, I’ve also met many women throughout the years.”

  That got a chuckle from the crowd as well as Declan.

  “I used to wonder why my man here was so wrapped up in Morgan, couldn’t get over her. I thought to myself, he must be crazy. He’s a good-looking guy, right? He can find another good woman. What I failed to understand, until I met Mrs. Declan Blake here, was the impact that Morgan has the moment you meet her. She makes you want her in your life, as a friend, whatever. I didn’t understand until the day that I met her and then I couldn’t understand how he ever let her go.”

  Gasping, Morgan swallowed the lump in her throat.

  “To Declan and Morgan, may you stay where you belong, forever, together. Cheers.”

  The crowd toasted as Morgan spun to glance at Declan. Tach’s speech had affected him as well; he wiped his eyes and turned to face Morgan.

  “He’s a real heartbreaker, huh?”

  Morgan nodded silently, afraid that she would break down in tears if she attempted to speak.

  When it was finally time to say goodnight to their guests, Morgan sighed. Exhaustion coursed through her veins, but she couldn’t wait to be alone with her husband. A fantastic bridal suite awaited them at a local hotel. Tomorrow evening they would be off on their honeymoon.

  Neither said a word as the limo headed toward the hotel. Morgan placed her head on Declan’s shoulder, sighing a breath of relief. They did it. They had made it. He clasped his fingers through hers and kissed the top of her head. She may have even nodded off a bit since she felt safe and secure after such a long journey.

  “Wake up, we’re here.” He kissed her gently before stepping out of the limo, and then waited for her. “Come on, let’s get this show on the road,” he chuckled with a wink.

  Playfully, she smacked him, but then the serious vibe in the air created a palpable tension until they found themselves alone outside their room. He kissed her deeply; she was sucked into his world.

  “This is it,” he breathed, his eyes focused on hers. “Once I open that door, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”

  “Nor can I,” she flirted right back at him, gazing into his eyes.

  A coughing sound intruded upon their moment as an elderly man walked past them, rolling his eyes. Giggling softly, at first, Morgan saw Declan’s face then lost control. She was in a fit of laughter as Declan struggled with the keycard to open their bridal suite. He lifted her up, carrying her over the threshold.

  Before them sat a spectacular king-size bed, sprinkled with red roses and adorned with swan towels. They both glanced at the bed, then each other. He kissed her, the intensity of their kiss building as he lowered her feet to the floor then pressed her back against the wall.

  Gently, she guided him to the bed. Lying there, she kissed his eyes, his mouth, and then stopped. “Thank you, Declan, for everything.”

  Gazing at her with his deep blue eyes, he took her face in his hands. “No, thank you, Mrs. Blake, for making all my dreams come true. Now, get over here.”

  Waves crashed over their heads, resulting in salty spray everywhere, including her mouth and nose. Declan pulled Morgan close, kissing her salty skin.

  “Let’s go relax for a while.” They waded out of the water together.

  Leading her to their sandy spot across the beach, he held onto her hand. They sat and stared out at the ocean. The days were going by quickly, too quickly. Morgan was almost afraid to get back to reality. Here in Costa Rica, life was simple; life was perfect.

  On their agenda today was zip-lining and horseback riding. Morgan had never ridden a horse before; she was both nervous and excited to build this memory with Declan. Tonight would be the last night of their honeymoon. Declan leaned on his side, twirling Morgan’s salty hair through his fingers.

  “Do you think you want children soon?” Declan asked, looking down at Morgan.

  The question took her by surprise. Years ago they had talked about it and had both agreed that wanting children was something they both had in common. They hadn’t discussed it since they’d reunited, but her feelings hadn’t changed.

  “I think so. I want a couple, Declan, is that okay with you? Remember when we used to talk about a little boy who looked exactly like you?”

  “Or a little girl who looks just like her mom.” Declan k
issed the tip of her nose.

  “Hmm, that sounds nice. Maybe both?” Morgan giggled, wiggling her toes in the hot sand.

  “Absolutely,” Declan mumbled, kissing Morgan on the mouth.

  “Hey, hey. You’re going to get us in trouble here.” She swatted him playfully.

  All kidding aside, she would love to be a mother. Declan would be a kind and protective dad. She could just imagine if they had a daughter one day. He would be that dad that all the guys were intimidated by. The poor girl’s dates would be in trouble, Morgan giggled softly.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Oh, nothing. I’m just thinking, is all.”

  “Sooner rather than later?” His brows shot up and Morgan couldn’t contain a grin.

  That sounded nice. Morgan had heard that it could take years for some couples to have a baby.

  “Sure, why not,” Morgan decided.

  His grin was contagious as he settled down beside her on the towel.

  “What do you say, if it’s a boy we name him Tach?”

  Was he kidding? God, he had to be kidding. Please let him be joking.

  “You’re… not serious, are you?” she ventured carefully.

  “Why not? I mean, it’s a solid name…” Declan rambled as Morgan mentally calculated how she could get out of this one.

  She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again.

  “I’m kidding!” Declan exclaimed, tickling her side. “I’m just kidding!”

  “Oh… well.” Morgan laughed, turning red in the hot sun.

  “Had you there for a while, didn’t I?”

  Punching him in the arm, she chuckled. “You had me.”

  But a boy named Declan Jr. would be pretty cool.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  IT WAS A MAGICAL place, a magical trip, and Declan didn’t want to leave tomorrow. This place was making him sentimental. He got to thinking about all the time they had spent apart, all the years they had lost. He supposed it all happened for a reason — their parting, their reconnection. If his mom were here, she would surely have a theory on this. Then again, he recalled the sudden breeze, the hawk swooping in so low, and he felt certain that she was somehow a part of all of this magic.

  Morgan smiled up at the waiter, ordering her meal. He would remember this night in detail — the sound of the ocean, the gentle beat of soft music filling the outdoor restaurant. When the waiter asked for their drink order, Morgan ordered one of her favorite tropical drinks, then hesitated, claiming that she’d stick with water. Raising an eyebrow, Declan ordered the same. It was, indeed going to be a night filled with magic; he could feel it in the air.

  “Not in the mood for a drink tonight?” Declan inquired, a grin playing on his lips. He rubbed her thigh under the table.

  Morgan swallowed, shaking her head. They finished their meals quickly; Declan thanked the waiter, and led Morgan to the dark, deserted beach.

  Turquoise water sparkled under the bright full moon. Declan held her hand as they walked the length of the beach. The unusually bright moonlight guided them to a cozy, sandy spot off in a remote section of the beach.

  Declan took his time, carefully lowering his body to sit on the sand. Morgan sighed as Declan placed his hand in the air, reaching for her to follow, his eyes wide and hopeful as she sat, never taking her eyes off him. The kiss started sweet and slow; they were making up for all that wasted time. There was magic in the air tonight, he was sure of it.

  EPILOGUE

  Six Weeks later

  THE ATTIC WAS A dusty, hot mess. Morgan must be crazy to come up here now, with a heat wave in September. She needed that box containing her old college textbooks. Better late than never, it seemed that Elle had finally decided to go back to school and pursue her degree in education. She would miss working with Elle, but in a few weeks her replacement would be moving to New York from Florida.

  Amber and Stephen had planned a late fall wedding and she would need to have a job here in New York. It didn’t hurt that Morgan had a huge influence on hiring an aide for her classroom since her principal trusted her judgment. Amber was a natural with animals and children; she would fit in just fine and there was a retired aide who had promised to cover for Amber until she settled in.

  Amber had shared that a break from the long hours of nursing would do her good. One day she may even return to the job. Of course, Amber and Declan already had plans to volunteer at the local shelter. Morgan smiled just thinking about their kindness.

  Where was that box? Frowning, Morgan nearly gave up searching for the books when a large bin caught her eye. Wiping sweat from her brow, she felt dizzy in the heat. She needed to sit for a moment and catch her breath. The storage bin belonged to Mike; she recognized his clothing through the clear sides. He must have forgotten that some of his clothes were up here from when they had started the process of moving in some of his things before the wedding.

  Slipping her hand over the container, she then pried open the lid. Wondering if the bin contained anything important, she rummaged through some jackets and pants. Things had been silent with Mike; she wouldn’t disturb the peace by returning the clothes. As she placed the lid back on top, something caught her eye. It appeared to be a piece of paper sticking out of one of the jacket pockets.

  Curiosity got the best of her as she fumbled for the paper. It was a small, white envelope, opened, crushed, and worn. The envelope was addressed to her. Declan’s handwriting adorned the paper — this was the letter! The letter that she had wondered about, the letter that she had never received was now lying in her hands. With trembling fingers, she opened it with the greatest of care, as if it would disintegrate from the touch of her hands.

  Dear Morgan,

  I’ve written to you countless times, endless variations of this very letter. I’ve lost courage and destroyed every single one. Except this one. Let me start by asking you to forgive me. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I know, but you would make me very happy if you could find it in your heart to hear me out. I did this for you, as selfish as it may seem.

  Do you remember how I told you my mom cared for my father for so many of her adult years? She did, and she did it gracefully and loved my dad through it all. I witnessed so much growing up, so much sorrow. I would hear my mom at night, weeping quietly into her pillow, when she thought I was sleeping. I would stand there, a young boy at the door, my ear pressed against it, straining to make sense of the tears.

  I know now that she was a prisoner in her own way, but she wouldn’t have it any other way and neither would you. I didn’t want that life for you, you deserved so much more. I was in a dark, dark, place for a very long time. Morgan, I came close to giving up, but it was your face that kept me going, kept me trying to reach out of the dark tunnel that consumed me. I cried for you, for Sean, and for those lost souls of ground zero. Those souls will never love again, and I guess I thought that I didn’t deserve to either.

  I’ve seen a lot in my years, too much that’s haunted my waking hours and my dreams. I could give in to it all, but then I wouldn’t have you. I wanted to climb to a brighter place, but didn’t want to be a burden to you, mentally or physically. Remember that ride on the Ferris wheel? I gave you courage that night but you gave me courage, too, courage to love and never give up. Every time I think about that memory it makes me strong.

  Well, Morgan, I think I’m starting my long journey back, thanks to you and a very good friend who wouldn’t take no for an answer. I think of all that time, that wasted time you and I lost. I don’t want to lose any more time with you. I made promises to you that I want to fulfill; I want you to become my wife, if you’ll still have me. Come home to me, Morgan, forgive me and love me again. You’re in my heart, now and always. I love you.

  Declan

  She didn’t know how much time had passed, as she just sat there clutching the letter to her chest, weeping tears of regret, anger, and sadness.

  If only she had received that letter when it was in
tended for her. What pain it must have caused Declan to put his heart out there and have it crushed with no response. Declan, oh God, Declan. Arms crossed around herself, she rocked, cursing Mike and pleading for Declan’s forgiveness. Footsteps from downstairs came closer, and then she heard him calling for her.

  “Morgan! Where are you?”

  Catching her breath, Morgan smiled at the sound of his voice.

  “I’m… I’m here, up here, Declan.”

  He still called out, not hearing her. She repeated herself, louder this time.

  “I’m up here, in the attic.”

  He climbed the steps, reaching the top cautiously.

  “What are you doing? It’s about a hundred degrees up here, Morgan,” he muttered before stopping to glance at her. “Morgan, my God, what is it, what’s wrong?”

  He stooped over, lifting her chin with his hand. She thrust her hand out, exposing the letter.

  Declan’s face clouded with confusion. “I don’t understand, what is that?”

  Then he must have recognized it; his mouth dropped open as he pried it from her fingers. Gazing at the paper, he read every single line he had written so long ago. His own tears fell as he sighed, sitting on a box beside her.

  “Morgan.” He reached for her, pushing her hair from her eyes.

  “I hate him. I hate that man,” she sobbed, hanging her head low.

  How could anyone intentionally be so cruel? How could she have loved such a man?

  “Don’t, Morgan. Don’t hate him. It will only eat you up inside. Let it go. I have. He loved you and didn’t want to lose you, that I understand.”

  “But all that time we could have been together,” she wept.

  “It wasn’t wasted time, Morgan. It made us stronger, made us appreciate what we have. I cherish every single day with you.” He held her in his arms, soothing her tears until her breathing returned to normal.