by Karen Pokras
She dug her cell phone out of her purse as she walked to her car.
“Hi, it’s me. What are you up to?” she asked, holding back another round of tears.
“I’m on my way to pick Ryan up.”
“You sound frazzled.” Dealing with her sister’s problems seemed to be the best way for Holly to ignore her own.
“No. Well maybe a little,” Ava laughed. “It’s just that Max hasn’t been home in days. Then Tessa decided to drop Sophie off without any notice—as usual—because she had some glamorous party to go to. Thankfully, I have Jenna to watch her, because Logan has to be picked up in thirty minutes, and Ryan needs to get picked up in between getting Logan. Plus, the house is a disaster, and I have no idea what I’m making for dinner. You know, just a typical day in my fabulous life.”
“Why don’t you let me get Ryan? I could use a little baby therapy,” Holly suggested.
“Don’t let him hear you say that. His favorite thing lately is to remind anyone who will listen that an almost four year old is pwacticawy gwown up. That kid kills me some times. If I didn’t have him around to keep me giggling, I swear, I don’t know how I’d stay sane. Some days I wonder why I even had children. My life could be so calm.”
Holly’s building tears suddenly burst into free flowing sobs.
“Hol, what’s wrong? Are you home? Where are you?”
“I’m in the parking lot. Dr. Rowe’s parking lot. The IVF didn’t hold. I’m not pregnant.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I really am. I’m a heel … that was so insensitive of me. I don’t know what I was thinking just then. Where’s Ben?”
“No, it’s not your fault. It’s okay. Ben was here, but he left,” Holly managed as she tried to catch her breath.
“What do you mean left?” Ava asked, concerned.
“No, not like that. He had to go back to work. He told me not to worry. I know he’s just trying to be strong for my sake. I really thought … it all feels so final now.”
“Don’t give up, Hol.”
“I feel like we’ve tried everything within our reach.” She held the phone up to her ear with her shoulder while trying to find her car keys.
“You know what Dad would say right about now don’t you?” Ava asked.
“Straight up, hold the olives?” Holly knew what was coming.
“No, he’d say …”
“You only fail if you stop trying,” they both said together.
Holly wiped her tears and sighed. She knew Ava meant well, but she didn’t get it. Not really. She had three kids, which she’d had no problem conceiving. How could she truly understand?
“So, is it okay if I get Ryan?” Holly asked again. “Ben’s going to be working late, and I’m not really up for going home to an empty house tonight. Don’t worry about dinner. We can order pizza. It’s on me.”
“Okay, Holly, if that’s what you want. Thanks. I’ll see you soon.”
Chapter 4 - Tessa
Stella snapped her fingers three times before the waiter, an older man who had worked at the restaurant for years, finally made his way over to their table.
“Yes, ma’am?” he asked with a disapproving tone. She might have been accustomed to treating folks like that in Hollywood, but here in Forest Hills, people acted a bit more respectful.
“I ordered medium. This is rare. If I wanted a plate full of bloody meat, I would have asked for it.” She pushed the dish toward the waiter, who thankfully caught it before it crashed to the floor.
“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” he replied, obviously wanting to say something entirely different to her. “I’ll return it to the kitchen at once and have the chef prepare a new filet for you.”
“Don’t bother. Your establishment is obviously incompetent when it comes to preparing premium steaks. I’ll take a Caesar salad instead. I want the Parmesan cheese shaved thin, not shredded or grated, and I want exactly three anchovies and no croutons. Dressing is to be prepared fresh and on the side with a wedge of lemon. Do you think your chef can handle that?”
“Of course, ma’am,” he insisted, while looking at Nicholas who mouthed, ‘I’m sorry’.
The waiter scurried away, shaking his head.
“Honestly. These small town restaurants are something else, aren’t they?” Stella asked, looking directly at Tessa.
“Actually,” she said with a forced smile, “this place is one of our favorites. I think you’ll be quite pleased with your salad.”
Stella Russo might be a big-time star, but that didn’t give her the right to be rude. Tessa hoped that attitude of hers didn’t carry over onto the stage. If it did, they were going to have major issues. Was Nicholas really friends with this prima donna? Between this and arriving an hour late for dinner, their first business meeting was not getting off to a great start.
After Stella did finally arrive, she spent the first thirty minutes talking non-stop about … well, herself. She began by describing the most amazing role she’d landed on Broadway when she had first started working, followed by her many amazing movie roles, and morphed into her sharing a very extensive list of amazing leading men she’d worked with over the years. All of which were due to her amazing talent … of course. The waiter had to come back three times before she stopped talking long enough to give him her order. Her first order, that is.
“Oh.” Stella waved her napkin at Tessa and Nicholas before placing it on her lap. “I’m so sorry. That was a bit harsh. I flew in on the red-eye and am going on forty-eight hours of no sleep. Between that and the limousine driver who apparently had no idea where he was going, my nerves are completely shot. I feel so foolish. When that charming waiter returns, I’ll be sure and apologize.”
Tessa smiled and nodded. Perhaps she had misjudged Stella. She’d had more than her share of bad days over the years and at times was not always the most polite. It was time to put it all behind them and get to business. “So, Ms. Russo, we’re very excited to have you on board,” Tessa began, “but I’m afraid we’re kind of on a tight schedule. I’m sure Nicholas told you that our former leading lady walked off set in the middle of rehearsals? Opening night is just a few months away.”
Stella ignored Tessa and looked only at Nicholas, taking his hands in her own. “Yes. We had a lovely talk about it already, didn’t we, darling? You will be there during rehearsals, won’t you?”
“Oh, um, probably not,” Nicholas answered, pulling away to wipe imaginary crumbs off his mouth with his napkin. “I’ve got my own business to attend to. But I assure you, Tessa is a top-notch director.” He looked lovingly over to his wife. “The best actually. Everyone loves working with her. You’ll be in very capable hands.”
“Well,” Stella said, looking first at Tessa, then to Nicholas all the while keeping a sly grin, “I suppose that will do, but I’d rather be in your hands.”
Was she serious? No, she hadn’t misjudged this woman one bit. She was unbelievable. Tessa watched as Stella moved her arm under the table, shifting her body closer to her husband.
Nicholas suddenly jumped up and back with wide eyes, pushing away what was no doubt an unwanted advance. “Actually, Stella,” he said, clearing his throat, “I’m not sure this arrangement is going to work out after all.”
“Oh, darling,” she exclaimed, placing her arm back on the table, laughing as she took a long sip of her wine. “I’m just playing with you.” Stella looked at Tessa with a purposeful stare. “Nicholas and I go way back. Anyway, dear, you apparently have a lot to learn about what it means to work with a Hollywood actress. There’s more to it than what’s happening on stage. There are also the little extra backstage perks I’m entitled to, if you catch my drift. Now, Nick, stop being silly, and sit back down so we can finish discussing the details.”
Nicholas caught Tessa’s eye as he sat, pulling his chair in and away from Stella. She knew exactly what she needed to do.
“Ms. Russo,” Tessa began, her fingers forming tight fists around the napkin on her lap
as she tried her best not to lose her temper. If there’s one thing she’d learned over the years, it was to not burn bridges, especially with someone as influential as Stella Russo. As much as it killed her, she’d have to swallow her pride on this one. “With all due respect, this is a small town, with a small town theater. I appreciate your offer, but I think Nicholas is right. I don’t think this arrangement is going to work.”
“You’re firing me?” she asked, her voice filling with anger.
“N-no,” Tessa told her. “Not at all. I just think with your talent … your amazing talent, this job will only hold you back. It’s like you said, you’re a Hollywood actress. That’s where you belong. On the big stage with a packed house and a giant marquee out front flashing your name.” She raised her hands up as if she were picturing such a scene filled with bright lights and fanfare. “As much as we’d love to be able to do that here, we both know it’s just not going to happen. Our theater rarely sells out, and we certainly don’t have a marquee out front. At most we take out a tiny ad in the local paper. Hell, the salary we’d be paying you would barely cover the cost of this mediocre meal.” She looked over to her husband as he smiled and nodded, his face full of pride and approval, giving Tessa the strength she needed to continue. “You’re an Academy award-winning actress. Now go find an Academy award-winning role.” Tessa stood up, took a deep breath, pointed to the door, and prayed her near Academy award-winning speech would work.
The look on Stella’s face was absolutely blank as Tessa quietly slid back into her chair. Had she just hammered the final nail into her tiny theater’s coffin? Her heart raced as she waited for Stella to do or say something. Anything.
“Well,” she finally said, in a surprisingly calm voice, “I believe I do quite agree with you. Having only spent a few short hours here in Forest Hills, I can see this is not the place for me. However, I must say, I’m quite impressed with you, Tessa. For you to sacrifice the success of your theater for my happiness is indeed a noble gesture. One I will not soon forget. I especially appreciate the fact that you’re able to recognize my obvious talent. I’ll be sure to mention your little theater to my publicist upon my return to Hollywood. Perhaps she can work it into her next press release.”
Rising from her seat, she kissed Nicholas on both cheeks and whispered in his ear loud enough for Tessa to overhear, “Do look me up the next time you are in town, darling, so we can pick up where we left off.” Looking over to Tessa, Stella curtly nodded, before holding her head high and walking off, nearly knocking the waiter over as he carried her Caesar salad toward them on a silver tray.
Tessa held in her laughter until they were sure Stella was safely inside of the waiting limousine.
“What a horrid woman,” she said, trying to catch her breath.
“Darling,” Nicholas said, trying to imitate her uppity tone, “I will act in your insignificant production, but only if you fly in the best chefs from around the world to prepare all of my meals. However, the food will not be enough to satiate my appetite. You will have to give me your incredibly sexy husband as well.”
Tessa looked at Nicholas and smirked. “Very funny, hot shot. A little advance warning would have been nice, you know.”
“Honestly, I had no idea she’d act like that. She wasn’t that way at all the last time we’d gotten together. I guess a few awards can really change a person.”
Sighing, Tessa swirled the water in her glass, watching as the liquid rolled up close to the edge without going over. “And so now I’m once again without an actress … with only a few months to go and no real budget to hire anyone. What am I going to do, Nicholas?”
Taking his wife’s hands, he gazed into her eyes. “You’re going to let me help you, that’s what.”
“I already told you. I don’t want your money.”
“And I’m not giving it to you.”
“Then … what are you talking about?”
“As I see it, you need money, and I’m looking for a new business venture, so I’d like to invest in the theater.” He held up his hand to stop her as she started to speak. “Don’t think I’ll just be handing over money. In exchange, you will make me your business manager and partner. You handle the creative side, and I handle the financial side. What do you say, Mrs. Schilling? Do we have a deal?”
Tessa studied her husband’s face. He seemed sincere. Could this actually work? She didn’t really have any other options at this point. She smiled reluctantly and accepted his hand for a shake.
“Deal,” she responded.
Chapter 5 - Holly
By the time the pizza arrived, Ryan was fast asleep, curled against Holly on Ava’s couch. She sat with her nephew for a while, enjoying the serene sounds of his soft and rhythmic breathing, before sliding her arm out carefully from behind his head so as not to wake him. He looked too peaceful to disturb. He could always eat later.
Holly, on the other hand, didn’t realize just how hungry she actually was until she’d had some time to relax. As crazy as Ava’s house was, it always seemed to calm Holly down. She loved the chaos—there were always kids running, laughing, and even arguing. She loved it all, even the mess; it felt lived in, comfortable. To her there was nothing better than a house full of children. Her own house was so quiet ... too quiet.
She carefully got up and walked over to the table to grab a slice of the almost gone pizza. Ava’s two older children had already devoured it and retreated to fight over whose turn it was to watch television, while Sophie remained at the table, picking at her piece.
“Not hungry, hun?” Ava asked.
“No,” Sophie replied, hanging her head down.
Holly sat down next to her niece and rubbed her back. “What’s the matter, sweetie? Do you want to talk about it?”
The tears began before she could get the words out. “We were working on a family tree in art class and some kids were teasing me because I don’t have a dad.”
“What are you talking about? Of course you have a dad. You have Nicholas.”
“No, I mean a real dad. Mommy said that Scott guy loves me and stuff, but she won’t tell me why he’s not here.”
Holly looked to Ava for help. This was not a discussion they should be having with Sophie, and it wasn’t the first time it had come up either. Tessa really needed to be the one talking to her about this; she was old enough to know.
“Oh, honey,” Ava said, joining them at the table. “Nobody really knows why your dad isn’t here with you, but your mom is right. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or think about you. It’s just … your dad was so young when you were born.”
Holly shut her eyes, willing her thoughts to go away. They weren’t even trying. Sophie was a mistake. She needed to stop! The circumstances surrounding Sophie’s birth were irrelevant. Tessa loved her daughter. They all did. She was just feeling bitter about her own situation.
“You know, in my opinion,” Ava continued, “Nicholas is a thousand times more your real father than Scott. He loves you so much, Sophie. You’re a very lucky girl.”
“I know, Aunt Ava. I love Nicholas. He’s the one who takes care of me most of the time anyway. Mom’s always at the theater, and some days she gets home so late, I don’t even see her.” She reached for her pizza and took a bite, smiling at her aunts.
Holly gave her niece a kiss on the cheek and walked out into the living room, toward the front door as an overwhelming urge to scream took over her. Ava swiftly followed.
“Hol, I know what you’re thinking,” she said, grabbing her arm, “but everything Tessa does is for Sophie’s best int—”
“I was pregnant,” Holly blurted out, interrupting Ava mid-sentence. She didn’t know why she’d never bothered to tell either of her sisters before. How were they supposed to support her fully if they never knew? “Seven weeks along ... until today.”
Ava wrapped her arms around her. “Honey, I’m so sorry. When you said the in vitro didn’t work, I didn’t realize you meant— Why didn�
�t you tell me?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered, wiping away a fresh round of tears. “We were waiting ... and now we have nothing left to wait for. We have nothing at all.”
“You know that’s not true. You have a lot, and it doesn’t mean you won’t—”
Holly put her hand up and shook her head to stop Ava. She knew her sister meant well, but she couldn’t bear to hear the speech again. There’s still time ... it will happen ... don’t give up ... you’re still young. She’d already heard it all. None of it was true.
Ava sighed and gave Holly another hug. “I’m here for you. For whatever you need, Holly. Anything. Are you feeling okay? Any physical pain?”
“Thank you. I’m fine, just a little cramping.” Holly sat down on the couch, curled in her sister’s arms. “I know I probably surprised you a little there with my announcement, but I kind of don’t really want to talk about it right now.”
“Okay, hun,” Ava said, straightening up.
~~~
“So what’s going on these days at work?”
Holly laughed, appreciating how Ava was trying to make meaningless conversation to take her mind off her bigger issues.
“Not much. You know how fifth graders can be. The girls look around wondering which boys have a crush on them, while the boys are counting down the minutes until class lets out. Meanwhile, I’m trying to teach them how to solve for “x” so they can all be productive members of society one day. Only eighty-two school days until summer vacation ... not that I’m counting or anything.”
