by Karen Pokras
At first, Holly and Ben had tried to plan their pregnancy around her work schedule. They’d hoped she would be due at the end of June and able to take the summer off to be with the baby so as not to miss any work. After a while, they realized their plans were not quite so easy to plan after all. Eventually, Holly cared less about her due date and more about just getting pregnant.
Ava laughed. Holly knew her sister was counting down the days, too—only she was counting the number of days her kids would still be in school. She’d never admit it, but she always seemed thankful for the start of school again in the fall. Holly knew having all three kids home full time for the summer was exhausting. Even so, she’d trade with her big sis any day.
“Any plans for the summer?” Ava asked.
“Ben’s boss offered him a couple of weeks at his cabin in the mountains in August. We said no at first because we thought I’d be too far along to travel … well, I guess we can go now that there’s no ba—” Holly stopped herself, unable to finish.
“You should go, Holly!” Ava ordered. Ryan stirred on the other couch, and Ava lowered her voice. “You and Ben deserve a vacation. It sounds perfect. I would love to get away with Max. We haven’t been away alone together in years.”
“Seriously, with all of the flying Max does, why don’t you just go with him? He could fly you to some exotic island—just the two of you. Or to London or Paris! You know how much you’ve always wanted to go to Paris and see all those art museums you love so much.”
“We used to talk about taking a weekend trip to Paris all the time back when Max and I were first dating. That was so long ago. Everything is different now. It’s not like I can just get up and go.”
“Why not? Ava, you know I’ll come watch the kids for you.”
“Thanks.” She looked like she was going to say more, but the knock at the door interrupted her. “That must be Tessa.”
Chapter 6 - Tessa
“What a night!” Tessa and Nicholas burst through the door, laughing hysterically, looking as if they had come from some fancy movie premiere in Hollywood. “Ava, you wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”
Ryan moaned from the commotion, and while his eyes lightly fluttered, he did not wake up.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t see him there,” Tessa said, taking her tone down several notches. “Hey, Hol. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Holly smiled politely and pulled the quilt off the back of the couch, carefully wrapping it around Ryan as she picked him up. “I’m going to put him to bed, Av. In case you were wondering, Tessa, you daughter is upstairs. She fell asleep waiting up for you. Again.”
“What’s with her?” Tessa asked after Holly walked upstairs.
“Oh, she’s just having a rough day. Anyway, Sophie’s just fine,” Ava lied. “So your meeting went well?”
“No, it was awful. Nicholas arranged for Stella Russo to take over as my lead, but it turns out she’s an uptight pompous bitch. She left before we ate … because I fired her. I hope I never see that horrid woman again. Of course, that means I still have no actress for my play.”
“Stella … Russo? I don’t understand. Why all of the smiles and giggles, then?”
“Your sister’s performance was stage-worthy,” Nicholas explained. “I mean, it’s not every day you see someone put a Hollywood A-lister in their place. It was priceless. Maybe you want to consider taking the lead yourself, Tessa?” he asked, turning to his wife. “You’ve got some hidden talent there.”
“Oh, no,” she replied, still laughing. “As much as I actually enjoyed my role tonight, I prefer to be on the sidelines. But that was fun. You should have been there to see the look on her face, Av.”
“I’m sure she would have loved to have been there,” Holly declared as she came back down the stairs, “but she was too busy having fun wiping your daughter’s tears away. Isn’t that right, Av?”
“I thought you said Sophie was okay?” Tessa asked with a concerned tone. “What’s going on?”
“I’ll go check on her,” offered Nicholas, obviously wanting to get out of the line of fire.
“What’s going on is that the poor child misses her mother. She had a bad day at school today. She wanted to talk to you about it, only you weren’t around. You’re never around. She went from her afternoon babysitter, right to her evening caretaker. If I had a child, you’d be damn sure he or she would be my priority.”
Tessa just stood there and stared at her sister. Holly’s hostility toward her seemed to be getting worse. It wasn’t her fault Holly couldn’t get pregnant. Of course Sophie was her priority. She may not have been planned, but she loved her more than life itself. Didn’t Holly understand the pressure she was under to get this production together—especially without a lead actress? Her daughter knew how much she loved her, didn’t she? Didn’t she understand her time constraints? Still, a good mother would make time for her daughter. Tessa sank into the living room chair, hanging her head as tears overflowed past her eyes and down her cheeks.
“I’m so sorry, Tessa.” Holly rushed over to her to rub her back gently. “I didn’t mean it like that. I had a really crappy day.”
“I’m sure Tessa understands. It’s been a tough day for all of us,” Ava said, smiling.
Tessa looked up at her oldest sister. Ava always was the glue. It was rare that she ever made reference to having a bad day herself. Tessa knew her life wasn’t easy. She and Max had married so quickly. It was a whirlwind romance straight out of college. They’d only known each other a few weeks before Max proposed. Then Jenna came along before they knew it, and all plans were off the table.
The plan was that while Max was getting his pilot’s license, Ava would run some fancy art gallery out west. She’d had big dreams of one day even owning her own gallery. Tessa remembered as a child, Ava would hang all of their artwork in their living room and then advertise her big ‘opening night exhibit’ for all of the neighbors to come and look. They would, too. She’d serve cookies that they’d all help bake and lemonade Mom had bought from the store. Some of the neighbors even bought the artwork. Seemed Ava had a real flare for arranging and selling their scribbles.
Unfortunately, her pregnancy with Jenna was not an easy one. At six months in, she was put on strict bed rest. The gallery brought in a temporary replacement. After Jenna’s birth, Ava continued to work in the gallery, but it was challenging with a baby at home and a husband always on the road, or at least in the sky. Soon after that, Logan was born, and they moved back to Forest Hills. Once back east, she never returned to work in a gallery.
Holly, on the other hand, always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom with a house full of kids, but had to settle for a classroom full of kids instead. For many years, Tessa’s sisters were always the ones picking up her pieces. Now that she had Nicholas, she hoped she could be there more for them, although she felt as if things weren’t turning out that way just yet.
Now Tessa was worried about Ava. She knew she’d been stressed out lately with Max gone for such long stretches, but she’d wondered if there was something additional going on. And what about Holly? Was it more than just her usual still not pregnant stuff?
“What’s the matter with you two?” she asked. “What did I miss?”
Tessa caught Holly shake her head ever so slightly at Ava.
She straightened up in her chair. “Secrets? Since when do the Haines girls keep secrets from each other? Come on, now, spill it.”
“Tessa, love,” Nicholas walked back into the room with a sleeping Sophie in his arms. “If you want to still visit with your sisters, I can take Sophie home.”
“No, that’s okay,” she said, standing up. “Ava looks tired. I think I’d better leave with you.”
“Actually, why don’t you stay?” Ava insisted, suddenly cheering up. “It will be fun … like old times. We could use a girls’ night. You can sleep in the guest room. I’ll take you home in the morning.”
“Are you sure?” Tessa asked
, wrapping her arms around Sophie. The last thing she wanted was for her daughter to feel like she was deserting her again.
“It’s fine,” Nicholas replied. “Sophie’s asleep, and I’m anxious to get started on the budget for the theater, so I’ll just be staring at boring spreadsheets all night.”
“Well … okay, but promise you’ll call me if she wakes up and wants me to say goodnight, or I can read a story to her over the phone, or sing to her, or—”
“She’ll be fine,” Nicholas interrupted, smiling. “You can do all of that and more tomorrow, and every night after that—especially now that I’ll be able to take some of the pressure off at the theater.” Tessa followed her husband out to the car to help him get Sophie comfortable and buckled into the backseat.
“Are you sure?” she asked again.
“Yes.” He wrapped his arms around his wife. “Go be with your sisters. I love you.”
Chapter 7 – Ava
Tessa sat on the couch and stared out the window while Holly checked on Jenna and Logan upon hearing their banter coming from upstairs. One minute fighting, one minute laughing. Of course, they were both supposed to be getting ready for bed quietly. The bigger concern was that they’d wake their younger brother. Ava wanted to go up herself, but she knew Holly needed to do this. The truth was, out of the three sisters, Holly had always been the best at settling her kids down.
“Are you just going to sit there and mope all night?” Ava asked, shaking out a shirt from the laundry basket that had been sitting on the floor for the past three days. “I thought we were going to have a fun girls’ night.”
“Folding clothes?” She motioned to the item in her sister’s hands. “What you’re doing isn’t exactly fun.”
“True. But it’s better than just sitting there stewing.” Ava folded the shirt and added it to the small pile of clothes waiting to be put away. “Actually, I was thinking we could have a true girls’ night. When was the last time we did something fun like hair and nails?”
“Uh … maybe when we were Jenna’s age. Aren’t we a little old for that?” Tessa asked, going back to staring out the window.
Ava sat on the couch. Was there anything she could say to make her younger sister feel better about the situation with Sophie? “Tess, you know Holly didn’t really mean any of that stuff earlier, right?”
“I guess. It’s just that … it’s all true. With everything going on at the theater, I haven’t been home, and now I feel guilty that I’m here supposedly having fun when I should be home with her.”
“So if you sit here and mope will make it better? She’s asleep. What were you planning on doing at home, sitting up by her bed all night?”
“At least I’d be there. I feel like a complete failure as a mother.”
“Oh, enough already,” Holly stated as she came into the room. “I apologized. I honestly didn’t mean it.” She knelt down next to her sister by the couch and put her hands on her knees. “Look, I’m sorry. It sounds like we all had a crummy day. I think—”
The piercing sound of the phone ringing interrupted Holly from finishing.
“Hold that thought.” Ava reached for the phone. “Hello? ... Hi sweetie. She sure is, hold on.”
“It’s Sophie,” Ava said, handing the phone to Tessa.
“Hi, baby. Are you okay? … Really? … Ha ha … I won’t tell. I miss you, too … Do you want me to come home? … Okay, that sounds like fun … Yes, I promise. It’s a date, and I’ll see you in the morning … Call me if you need anything. I love you.” She wiped a tear from her eye and handed Ava the phone.
“So?” Holly asked.
“She said she was wide awake by the time they got home, so Nicholas is letting her watch TV, but she’s not supposed to tell me that part, and he also said she can go to school late so she can see me in the morning. Tomorrow night we’re going to have a movie marathon. Oh, and she was hungry because she didn’t have much for dinner, so Nicholas said she could make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich if she promised to make him one, too.” Tessa laughed. “I don’t know who spoils who more in that relationship. She sounded … happy and tired. I’m thinking she’ll be asleep in twenty minutes tops.”
“So can we have some fun now?” Ava asked.
Tessa smiled. “Yes, but first you two need to fill me in on these secrets of yours, and why I’m not the only one who had a bad day. It’s time you let me help you for a change. Ava, go grab a bottle from that stash I know you have. I’m calling an official emergency meeting of the Secret Haines Order of Endearing Sisters.”
“SHOES?” Holly remarked. “We haven’t had a SHOES meeting since we were teenagers.” She giggled and rubbed her chin. “Remember our last meeting, Ava? We swiped that bottle of vodka from Dad’s workbench. He hid it in that old drill case. Well, yours was just water, Tessa. We do have some scruples you know. I wonder why he never ratted us out to Mom.”
“Probably because he knew he’d get in as much trouble as we would if Mom found out he was sneaking vodka,” Tessa said, laughing. “I can’t believe mine was just water. I thought you guys loved me.”
“We do,” Holly told her. “We may have been crazy, but we weren’t stupid enough to give a twelve year old vodka. Ava, you’re being awfully quiet. Don’t you remember?”
Ava laughed and nodded. Yes, she remembered that meeting well. She was eighteen at the time. Holly was sixteen, and Tessa was barely twelve. As the oldest sister, she’d called the meeting because Holly was upset over some boy. They met in the shed behind the house after dark when their mom and dad were out playing bridge at their Aunt Donna’s house. Their parents always stayed out until at least midnight. Ava had lit a bunch of the smelly candles from their mom’s bathroom and poured vodka for herself and Holly. They brought a special thermos for Tessa and told her it was vodka infused with special oil imported from India, guaranteed to make her breasts grow. Ava still couldn’t believe they’d pulled that one off with a straight face. Then, she called the meeting to order, calmed Holly down, and suddenly, just like that, everything was okay once again in the world of the Haines sisters. Shortly after that, she’d left for college. Despite many heartbreaks and other traumatic events over the years, they hadn’t had a SHOES meeting since. They were definitely due.
“It’s been ages,” Ava said with a knowing smile. “Holly, weren’t you all upset about some boy at that meeting? Whatever happened with him?”
“You don’t remember?” Holly laughed. “It was Ben! You know ... my husband? He sucked face with that Michelle slut after taking me to the Soph Hop. I was so heartbroken.”
“Well, you can’t really blame him. High school boys usually go after the sluts,” Tessa retorted, teasingly.
“Ugh. What that woman put us through. She’s more than just a slut, she’s a—”
“Ladies!” Ava yelled, as she heard Jenna and Logan’s banter pick up again from the second floor. She brought her voice back down to a whisper. “Can we hold off on the slut talk until the kids are asleep? Tessa, why don’t you go make up the bed in the guest room? Holly, can you help again with Logan and Jenna? I’ll set up for the meeting. We’ll meet back here in twenty minutes.”
Chapter 8 - Ava
“No vodka I’m afraid,” Ava said as Tessa re-entered the living room. The space was a bit cozier than the shed they’d sat in years ago. With her sisters busy upstairs, Ava had placed pillows and blankets over the floor. She lit the final candle and walked over to the wine rack to pull out two bottles. “White or red?”
“Both, of course,” Tessa stated matter-of-factly. She picked up the toy hammer from Ryan’s tool kit that Ava had put out to use as their gavel, and Ava promptly snatched it away.
It was a long-standing tradition for her to lead their SHOES meetings, even if it had been almost twenty years since their last one. The fact that Tessa had called the meeting was irrelevant, she was the one her sisters came to most often whenever there was a problem. Ava often wished she had an older sister.
Not that she couldn’t share her own problems with her younger sisters, she just didn’t feel that same level of support that she’d given them. They were always so busy with their own issues. They rarely—if ever—seemed to notice she had problems, too.
Ava’s husband, Max, was rarely home. The demands from the airline seemed to increase by the hour. Airline pilots were losing their jobs every day. True, Max was under contract and was a union member, but these days, those things seemed to mean very little. Airlines were struggling. If they went out of business, pilots were out of work—contract or no contract. Max had no choice but to give in to the increased hours. Ava understood, but it didn’t make her life any less difficult. In addition to the stress of taking care of three children on her own, there was the growing strain in her marriage. Ava sometimes wondered if Max purposefully chose routes that would keep him out of the house for days at a time. Maybe she was just imagining things.
“Logan gave me a little trouble at first.” Holly came into the living room and made herself comfortable on the floor. “He argued that nine-thirty was way too early for any self-respecting seven year old to be going to sleep, but finally gave in when I told him he could come over Saturday to play with the puppy.”
“Thanks, Hol,” Ava said, handing her sister a glass of wine. “You did pretty good actually. I was expecting way more of a fight.”
“Jenna fell asleep the minute she put her earbuds in to listen to music. I think the kids wiped her out tonight.”
“I swear, those earbuds are going to become a permanent fixture in her head,” Ava muttered, handing Tessa a glass as she made herself comfortable. “One day, I’m going to have to have them surgically removed.”
“Now I know why I got make up the guest bed duty, and you got put the kids to bed duty, Hol.” Tessa said, looking a little sad again. “You really are a natural.”
