Four

by Tia Fielding

  “Is there a friend coming?” Kaos asked and got his answer when the door opened and Joey walked in with Jason in tow.

  “Hiya!” Joey skipped toward Hestia, who was patiently waiting, then stopped in his tracks and looked at Kaos. “Can I go greet her?”

  “Sure, just remember the rules.” There had been a conversation about knocking stuff over in the shop a while back when the best friends were running around a bit too wildly.

  “Hey,” Jason said, and something about his happy expression caught Kaos’s eye.

  “What’s up?”

  “So I’ve been thinking about adding to the ink I have on my shoulder blade. It’s a family thing.”

  “Okay, I’m definitely up to that, if it’s not portraits or names. I don’t do names.”

  “No, it’s neither. Can I show you?”

  “Sure. Joey, can you and Hestia keep an eye on the front if we go to the back for a minute?” Kaos looked at them, now cuddling on Hestia’s spot.

  “Yeah, we’ll be good!” Joey beamed at him, and Hestia seemed like she wanted to be good too.

  “Keep your paws off the pastries, both of you!” Kaos called over his shoulder, making Joey giggle and Jason chuckle as he followed Kaos into his little studio.

  Jason took off some of his layers and then finally his T-shirt. There were surprisingly many old tattoos on the deputy, but the one that was oldest was a grouping of wolves on his shoulder blade. They weren’t intricate, and some were only silhouettes, but a few were more detailed.

  “So you want me to add to this?” Kaos asked and aimed a lamp at Jason. “Can I touch?”

  “Sure, go ahead. And yeah, somewhere near the wolf with the blue eyes.”

  Kaos looked at the area he had to work with, then nodded. “What do you want me to add? And can I recolor some of the old stuff too? Make it match a little better? It would cost extra but add years to the tattoo as a whole before it starts to fade too badly.”

  “Uh, one adult wolf and two little ones,” Jason said, and blushed deeply.

  Kaos looked into his blue eyes, did the math in his head, and his jaw dropped. “Are you and Lotte expecting?” he whispered.

  Jason nodded and ducked his head, looking very proud of himself and incredibly shy at the same time.

  Kaos hugged him spontaneously, making Jason chuckle and then wipe his eyes surreptitiously. “That’s so great! Oh my God, when is she due?”

  “In the late summer. I’d like to get her, Joie, and the baby added somehow.”

  “I can do that. Should they have any specific identification?”

  “No, they don’t need any. They’re all special enough without.”

  Kaos fanned himself with his hand. “You’re so precious, Jason Goldstein.”

  “And it’s a surprise, so if we could keep it between us?”

  “Hey, whatever works for you. Now get dressed before your kid comes to look for you.”

  Jason beamed at Joey being called his kid, and Kaos couldn’t stop smiling. He heard nails click on the shop floor, so he slipped out and left Jason to get dressed.

  “What are you two doing?” Kaos asked, looking at the terrible twosome who were—“Are you licking the display case?” There were definitely dog tongue prints, but also some child-sized ones and a lot of drool on the case.

  “Oh my God, Joey,” Jason groaned, and went to pick up his son.

  “But we didn’t touch the pastries!” Joey said proudly, and Kaos burst into laughter.

  “Fine, we’ll get some, but if you lick the case ever again, Kaos will bar you!”

  “What does that mean?” Joey looked worriedly at Kaos.

  “It means that you’re not allowed into the shop,” he explained.

  “Oh no! I’ll be good! Esty will be a good girl too!”

  “Will you, Hestia?” Kaos glanced at the dog, who had the sense to go to her spot and seem contrite.

  “She will. Look at her!”

  Hestia, or “Esty” like Joie liked to call her, would’ve been whistling and batting her lashes had she been a human.

  “Okay, fine. But no more licking anything inside the shop!”

  “I promise!” Then he turned to Jason, took hold of his stepdad’s cheeks, and asked, “Can we get the bear claws, Daddy, please?” The tone was so clearly meant to sway Jason, especially with the way Joey called him daddy, and it made Kaos hide a smile behind his hand.

  They did, indeed, get bear claws, to exactly no one’s surprise.

  Kaos was cleaning the drool off the glass when Padraig came through the connecting door a while later.

  “Don’t ask,” Kaos grunted, and Padraig didn’t.

  IT WAS early May, and they were going through some sort of a second honeymoon phase. That meant, of course, that they couldn’t quite keep their hands off each other.

  One evening, when Padraig had been called away to an emergency at a farm, Francis and Kaos were drinking wine and eating a cheese plate because they could, and Francis looked at him seriously.

  “You know, I haven’t seen Paddy this happy in about fifteen years.”

  Kaos blinked. “What?” His hand stopped where he’d been reaching for a piece of brie.

  “Maybe it’s the fact that I was in love with Marcus and that made me biased, or maybe it was something else, but I honestly don’t think they were as incredibly happy as they thought they were in the last, well, more than five years before Marcus died.”

  “And now he is?” Kaos felt incredulous but decided to hear what Francis wanted to say anyway.

  “Yes. See, part of what glued them together was fear, in the beginning. Like we told you, it was very different back then. We were on the younger scale with the AIDS epidemic, sure, but still. They were terrified. So they clung to each other, and they got dependent on that sort of… symbiosis, I suppose. Even more so after they got bashed. But I don’t think they were in love with each other in the last decade or so.”

  “A lot of people are together because they love each other, not because they’re in love,” Kaos pointed out.

  “Yes, and for a lot of people, that’s enough. But it wasn’t for them, I don’t think.” Francis put some extremely smelly cheese on top of a Ritz cracker and munched while he chose his words. “Marcus ended up cheating, right?”

  “Mm-hmm.” Kaos tried a milder cheese and found he liked it, but he’d happily leave the smelly ones for Francis.

  “The difference between them is that Padraig is all about monogamy, and that he gets very set in his ways. That’s part of why he was so internally freaked out about finding you attractive when you came into town.”

  “Honestly, I knew he was attracted to me, but I thought it was more like the Trev situation, where he got spooked by his own reactions.”

  “He did, but Padraig would never be intentionally violent.” Francis sipped his wine, then sighed. “Did you know he still has nightmares about the appliances incident?”

  Kaos almost dropped his glass. “He what?”

  “He told me when you were at Makai and Emil’s the other night. He fell asleep on the couch while we were watching a movie, and then he was obviously having a nightmare. I woke him up, of course, and made him talk about what was wrong.” Francis frowned. “I think it was traumatic for him, what happened then, even though he doesn’t really think of it as something that happened to him.”

  Kaos thought for a moment. “He thinks it’s something that he did that happened to me. Jesus. He needs more therapy.”

  Francis toasted him with his glass. “Here’s hoping he’ll keep going. I mean, so far it’s been okay, right? He’s gone for a while now?”

  “Yeah, he sees Evy about every other week. But shit, I didn’t know he had nightmares. I wonder if he’s told her.” Kaos sighed and took a sip. “I’ll have to try and talk to him about this somehow.”

  “Yeah, that might not be a bad idea.”

  KAOS WOKE up in the middle of the night when Padraig was in the shower. Right, far
m call. Hestia must’ve been with Francis, because she wasn’t in the room. Kaos turned on the bedside table lamp and waited for Padraig.

  “Oh, did I wake you?” Padraig looked sheepish when he padded out of the bathroom, still gloriously naked.

  “Yeah, but I don’t mind.” Kaos lifted the comforter a bit to show Padraig he was naked too.

  Padraig grinned at him tiredly. “I wish I had some energy left for you, darling.” He climbed under the covers, and Kaos went to cuddle him.

  “It’s fine that you don’t. I wanted to talk about something anyway.”

  “Oh?” Padraig looked down at him, clearly worried. “Did something happen?”

  “Francis got to talking after some wine. He says you still have nightmares about the incident.” Kaos tried to keep his tone neutral, but he wasn’t sure how well he managed.

  “Uh… very occasionally,” Padraig admitted.

  “Occasionally is still sometimes. It still means you have them.”

  Padraig was quiet for a while. “I get the nightmares after I’ve startled you. Not necessarily the same night, but the next.”

  “What?” Kaos moved into a reclining position so he could really look at Padraig.

  “Yeah. Whenever I startle you, my mind blames me and I get nightmares. That’s it.” Padraig sounded defensive and very, very insecure.

  “Padraig, I don’t even remember the last time that happened.”

  “Last week, at the shop. I reached for something from the shelf, and you jerked away from me,” Padraig said immediately.

  Kaos closed his mouth and thought about it. “I don’t remember that.”

  “What?”

  “I can’t remember the last time. In fact, I can’t recall having that reaction for… a couple of months at least.” He looked at Padraig. “I honestly can’t.”

  “But it happens at least every other week. How can you not remember it?”

  “I guess it’s not a big deal? Might be something my body does, but my mind doesn’t register it. I’m obviously not scared of you in any way.” They stayed silent, both in their own heads, for several minutes. Then Kaos asked, “Do you remember anything else about last week when it happened?”

  Padraig’s brows drew together as he tried to come up with any details. “Uh…. Christa was coming over. You were talking about organizing your inks for her?”

  Suddenly Kaos remembered. “Yes!” He snapped his fingers, straightening up to sit properly, the comforter pooling around his waist. The room was chilly, but he didn’t care right then. “I asked you to check if there were any extra boxes of gloves in the cupboard, right?”

  “Yes, and I did. I reached for it, and you turned toward me at the same time and flinched away.”

  “I don’t remember doing that,” Kaos admitted. “It doesn’t mean I didn’t. But clearly it didn’t register on some level. Any level, really. At least, it didn’t leave a proper memory.”

  Padraig frowned. “But what does that mean?”

  “It means I’m pretty over it on a conscious level. Sure, my mind will be faulty for a long time on some primal level, but I’m not afraid of you, Padraig Donovan. If I was, in any way, scared of you, I wouldn’t be here.” Kaos placed a hand in the middle of Padraig’s chest. “You have a good heart, Padraig. I love you. I promise I’m not afraid of you.”

  Padraig’s face did something complicated then, and he looked sheepish and fidgeted minutely.

  Kaos laughed. “Oh my God, did you just get turned on by the fact that I actually know where your heart is?”

  Padraig blushed. “Anatomy kink?”

  Snickering, Kaos moved to pull the comforter off Padraig some more and slid a leg over to straddle him. “Had I known I was doing this, I’d have put on some lace,” he purred, then leaned down to kiss Padraig.

  It didn’t take long to get them both to half mast, and then he could use his hand to get them all the way to hard.

  “Fuck, you look so stunning, Kaos,” Padraig panted, reaching to run a hand from his shoulder to his hip like he had on their first time together. Kaos wasn’t sure if Padraig knew that was what he’d done, but it certainly made him feel even more turned on.

  Kaos slid his free hand into Padraig’s graying chest hair and tugged a little. After months, he now knew a lot more about Padraig’s body and what turned him on than the first time. With that in mind, he let the purring tone into his voice again. “Grab the lube. I want to ride you.”

  Padraig’s cock pulsed in his hand, and precum dribbled out. Well, out of both of them, because he wasn’t unaffected either.

  Padraig reached to get the lube from the bedside table and waited until Kaos let go of their cocks and moved up.

  “How do you want to do this?” Kaos asked, knowing he needed a bit of stretching tonight.

  “Straddle my chest.” Padraig looked at him with a heated gaze, and Kaos groaned.

  He knee-walked up, and the drag of Padraig’s chest hair against his balls felt so fucking sensual that it made him whimper. Once he got close enough, he put his own pillow under Padraig’s head, then took hold of the headboard and let Padraig lead.

  And lead he did. Padraig took hold of Kaos’s cock and ran his tongue around the head a couple of times, humming contently at the taste. Then he took him into his mouth, and at the same time, slid the other hand behind to rub a lubed finger against Kaos’s hole. Then he did that thing with his tongue and another thing with his fingers, and Kaos did the very loud thing that would make Francis tease them in the morning. Worth it, though.

  To have a lover who played his body like an instrument was something Kaos hadn’t ever thought of before. The chance of that had seemed impossible in his previous life. Trev hadn’t cared as much about his pleasure, so the fact that Padraig put it above his own most of the time blew Kaos’s mind.

  He was just about to come when Padraig pulled his mouth and fingers away.

  “Noooo….”

  “Scoot back. You’re ready. I need to get in you.” Padraig sounded wrecked, and a surge of pride coursed through Kaos.

  He did as asked and moaned long and hard when he sank onto Padraig’s cock all in one slow, dragging go. When Padraig was as deep as he could be, they just panted for a moment, and then Kaos leaned forward, trapping his cock between them.

  He rocked his hips carefully, then nodded. “Go.”

  Padraig planted his feet on the bed and fucked him from below, slowly and with precision that Kaos loved. He couldn’t help the continuous litany of whimpers that fell from his lips, the pressure on his cock and Padraig grazing against his prostate every now and then just too good to stay quiet.

  “I’m getting close,” Padraig grunted, still hugging and occasionally kissing him, and Kaos kissed him once more. Then he pushed himself up and started to move, ride Padraig like he’d said he wanted to do. He rolled his hips and reached his hands back to lean to Padraig’s thighs. They’d done this enough times that Padraig knew to grab Kaos’s cock and rub it just right.

  “So, so close,” Kaos moaned, then whimpered when Padraig pushed his hips up as much as he could, and somehow nailed his prostate.

  It didn’t feel like a lightning strike when he started to come—more like the rumble of thunder, undeniable and all-consuming, and it left him trembling and twitching on top of Padraig, who let out a groan and came inside him with a few sharp jabs of his hips.

  Once they were both breathing steadily again, Kaos carefully extracted himself from Padraig and wobbled into the bathroom to clean up. He came back with a washcloth and tidied Padraig up too.

  “Thank you,” Padraig murmured, looking at him with pure love and adoration in his eyes.

  “No problem.” Kaos wasn’t sure if Padraig meant just the cleanup or also what he hoped was an absolution from guilt, but it didn’t matter right then. He tossed the washcloth into the hamper, reminded himself to do laundry in the morning, and went back to bed. He glanced at the time. “It’s three in the morning. Trouble at
the farm?” he asked, because Padraig had left around nine.

  Padraig tugged the comforter around them both and squeezed him closer. “Yeah, a bit. Twin foals. They had trouble with the first one’s position and were afraid they’d all die. I managed to turn him enough and got them out just in time, I think. They should be fine. Twin foals are rare and pretty tricky most of the time. It’s so rare for both to survive, some people say breeders should have one embryo removed when they find out there’s two.” He spoke quietly, sleepily now.

  “But this one didn’t?”

  “They realized too late. Another vet did the first ultrasound and didn’t notice the other one. When I got there a few months later, I saw it, and it was up to them what they wanted to do.”

  “I’m glad they at least survived the birth.”

  “Yeah. They’re almost the same size, which is a miracle in itself. Usually one is much smaller. I think they will be fine, but the first weeks could be a bit touch-and-go.”

  “Here’s hoping they’ll be fine.”

  “Oh, and they had puppies. They actually breed border collies.”

  Sensing something in Padraig’s tone, Kaos asked, “Oh? Did you see them?”

  “Yeah. They’re five weeks old. Really cute and lively already.” Kaos waited him out, and eventually Padraig said, “They want me to have one as a gift. Because I saved the foals. First pick, even.”

  “Wow.” Kaos knew how important the first pick could be, especially for people who professionally bred animals. “What did you say?”

  “That I’d ask my partner.”

  “Hestia would love to be a big sister.” Kaos was absolutely sure she’d enjoy having a puppy around.

  “Yeah, I think so too.” Padraig let out a long sigh that signaled he was about to fall asleep.

  “Sleep, honey. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

  “Love you,” Padraig murmured.

  “I love you too.” Kaos smiled and closed his eyes.

  When he’d left Missouri, he’d been running. From the situation with Trev, from the loss of his grandma, and from what that neighborhood represented.