Falling Hard

by J. K. Coi

  That ball of energy inside him grew along with his worry and rage, pushing against his ribs, crawling up his throat, becoming an unrelenting buzz in his brain. Somehow Gabriel knew he could harness it and use it, if only he could figure out how.

  Remembering the wave that had escaped him earlier while making love to Amelia, Gabriel realized all he had to do now was welcome that power instead of fighting it.

  Could he do that?

  Could he let down his walls and ask Lucifer to come in? How would he come back from something like that? Would he even be able to? Gabriel had only accessed these freaky abilities by accident before, but he’d recognized the hold they gained on him every time he did, and it scared him. He might not be a stellar example of the human species, but he wasn’t the devil.

  He wasn’t.

  The thought of opening himself up to that kind of evil and inviting it to take up residence inside his already shaky soul was unthinkable. Would he even survive?

  “I’m sorry it has to come to this Amelia,” Donato crowed, slinging his sword at her head and proving he wasn’t the least bit sorry. She blocked with amazing skill and strength. “Your misplaced loyalty to Michael has led you down an inevitable path. You had to have known you never stood a chance of preventing this day from coming.”

  “Don’t start counting your devils before they’re hatched,” Gabriel rumbled, hate for this bastard making him see red.

  Swords clashed. Amelia was in the middle of it all, her movements sure and strong, armor gleaming, eyes blazing with determination. Gabriel was amazed at the way she managed to take them all on, three to one.

  But while her blade continued to swing with grace and precision, Gabriel could tell she was tiring. When Donato got in a swing of his sword that caught her in the side, he felt frustration and fear. The sight of Amelia’s blood left a bitter taste in his mouth. Folding both hands into tight fists, he banished the lingering doubt from his mind. Forget opening up. Forget issuing a damned invitation to the fucking devil. Gabriel would demand the power he needed to help his friends. Seize it and use it even as he held tight to his barriers and defied Lucifer or anyone else to challenge them.

  A growl passed his clenched teeth as one of the angels caught Amelia in the chin and her head shot back. Blood showed red at the corner of her mouth and she had a nasty gash high on her cheek just beneath her right eye.

  Donato took advantage of her faltering step and moved to strike her down.

  Yelling at Sam to keep Lila back, Gabriel beat a ruthless path through the angels to Amelia’s side. She tried to push him behind her, but he wasn’t budging. Leveling his gaze, he mentally pushed, forcing the maelstrom still growing inside him out.

  He didn’t have to wonder if it was going to work. It did, although Gabriel wasn’t prepared for the massive rush of power that knocked everyone else back. He gripped Amelia’s arm to keep her close. Behind them, Sam swore.

  Donato was thrown onto his ass, but the bastard wouldn’t stay down. He and the other two got up and came at them again.

  “No.” Gabriel stepped in front of Amelia. “I’ve had more than enough of you assholes to last me a lifetime.”

  Lifting his hand palm out, he focused on the thin thread of control, channeling his rage into something he could use. This time when the power flowed out of him, he imagined exactly what he wanted to do with it, and a short blast of fire exploded into Donato and his angel goons. When the blaze settled, the angels looked more surprised than Gabriel at the extent of his abilities.

  “Holy shit,” Sam hissed. “Damn it, Gabe. This is too much for a Saturday night in the ’burbs.”

  Donato looked furious, as if someone was stealing his toys from the sandbox.

  Gabriel laughed, feeling strong. He was getting ready to blast them again, blood sizzling in his veins almost as wildly as the hot air whirling around him. Letting the fire go, he warmed to his role of gunner, determined to see this thing ended here and now.

  They were going to pay for David’s death, pay for threatening his friends. They were going to pay for hurting Amelia and robbing him of his humanity.

  And he was going to enjoy every minute of it.

  The angels wanted to unleash hell on earth? Fine. Bring it the fuck on.

  Gabriel had taken over the battle, forcing Donato and his cohorts to their knees. If he managed to keep it up, he might kill them with his power.

  Fire.

  Humans weren’t supposed to be able to do that.

  Angels weren’t even supposed to be able to do that.

  Amelia had only ever known of one being capable of the kinds of powers Gabriel was developing at such an alarming rate.

  Archangel.

  When he started letting loose with what she dared think of as the fires of hell, Amelia’s blood ran cold. Colder still to see the light in his eyes, the pleasure he took from the power flowing out his fingers.

  She glanced behind her. Gabriel’s friends were horrified. Sam looked just as bewildered as Amelia felt, and Lila, who’d already lost so much, flinched with every one of the scorching gusts of flame. Tears trailed down her face unchecked, and it wasn’t because the pretty yellow paint was peeling from the walls of her kitchen and angels were bleeding all over her floor.

  “No.” Amelia raised a shaky hand in the air. Gabriel’s next flaming assault slammed into her invisible wall, the force of it rocking her back.

  Perhaps it was a mistake using her shields to block Gabriel’s retaliation against the other angels, but Amelia believed it was the only way to save him from making an even worse mistake.

  Donato roared, furious that his attack had gone south. “Don’t think you’ve won. You know that whichever way you look at it, this only marks the beginning of the end for your human.” With a last heated glare, he fled, his angels disappearing along with him.

  Replacing her sword in the scabbard she manifested at her waist, Amelia couldn’t help but stare, dumbstruck, as Gabriel turned to her, taking huge gulping breaths of the smoky air. He stared her down, rage glowing from eyes that had gone wide and bloodshot.

  “Why did you stop me?” he demanded, his voice gritty with disbelief and accusation. “You let them go.”

  Yes, she had. And she thought just maybe he was now going to turn on her for it.

  Carefully, she stepped back, silently urging him to recognize what was plain to everyone else. He had crossed a line, lost control. Her fault, but it didn’t change the fact that if he couldn’t pull himself together—right now—she was going to have to kill him.

  No, Amelia could no longer ignore the truth. She was going to have to kill him anyway.

  The enormity of her duty had never been so hard to accept, and she cursed the emotions that had thoroughly handicapped her, emotions she’d indulged and wallowed in just a few hours ago. It made her sick now to think of how low she had fallen, to realize the depths of her failure.

  One human. That’s all she’d been responsible for.

  Even as Amelia set her jaw and made up her mind, she knew she couldn’t do anything about it here in front of his friends. She couldn’t betray his trust so completely.

  “Gabriel,” she croaked. Did she even have the ability to take him down now, or had she blown her chance? She was no longer simply dealing with a human’s strengths and weaknesses, that was for sure.

  His hands shot out to grab her, fingers digging deep into the muscles of her upper arms as he shook her. Remaining still in his hold, struggling to locate some remnant of her former angelic composure, she met his eyes and refused to wince.

  “You shouldn’t have done that.” His lip curled to show a flash of teeth as he growled down at her. “You shouldn’t have betrayed me like that.”

  From the corner of the room, Sam shook his shaggy head as if to erase the last twenty minutes from his brain. He let go of Lila and jumped forward, reaching for Gabriel’s wrist. “Christ, Gabe. What the hell are you doing? Let her go. Get a hold of yourself.”


  Amelia sensed the fire building again, sensed the focus of Gabriel’s loosely coiled fury shifting as he turned to face his friend. Feeling fear, she jerked her arms from his grip and grasped his face in her hands. She had to force his attention back to her. “Look at me,” she demanded in a hard voice.

  He retaliated by closing a fist around her throat. Not quite squeezing, but a definite warning to her.

  “Don’t, Gabriel. Don’t give in to it. You’re stronger than that.” She wanted to plead with him, draw him close and comfort him. That wouldn’t do either of them any good. Instead she kept her voice cool and dispassionate, as devoid of emotion as she could make it.

  He blinked, but didn’t relent.

  “Pull it back,” she snapped. “Control yourself now. Before you do something neither one of us can forgive, something you won’t ever be able to take back.”

  He glared down at her. She felt the hate pouring out of him and prayed he could overcome it, but she feared Lucifer already had too great a hold on Gabriel’s human soul.

  She glanced at Sam. “Leave. Take Lila and go.”

  “I can’t leave him like this. I want to stay and help.” Lila shook her head. She avoided looking directly at Gabriel, although she reached out to touch his shoulder. He hissed and flinched and she quickly drew her hand back.

  “You can’t help with this. Not now.” Amelia’s gaze shifted. “He’s got to overcome this himself.” Gabriel’s hand tightened on her throat so she couldn’t talk anymore, but Amelia ignored the discomfort, not wanting Lila and Sam to realize how badly Gabriel was hurting her.

  Sam took Lila’s hand. “We’re still the only family he’s got and if he needs help, we’ll be the ones to give it to him.”

  Finally, Gabriel closed his eyes and let out a breath. After a long moment, he slowly unwrapped his fingers from around Amelia’s throat and she dropped her hands, grasping the hilt of her sword.

  “Amelia’s right,” he croaked. “You two have to get out of here, get away from me.” Bright red spots of color stained his cheeks. “I don’t know if they’ll be back or not, but I don’t want you taking any chances. Spend a few days with Remmie and Jackson or go to a hotel. And keep Tony at your mother’s place if you can, just in case.”

  “Are you all right?” Sam asked.

  Gabriel just shook his head. Lila pressed a hand to her mouth, her eyes wide. “Do you think they’ll come after us?”

  He leaned against the kitchen island, rubbed his eyes. “No, I really don’t, but I still want you to take every precaution.”

  “What about you? Gabriel, why are angels trying to kill you?” She glanced at Amelia, the reproach in her eyes not quite hidden.

  He shook his head. “Listen, I was wrong to come here. It was a stupid, selfish thing to do, but I…I wanted to make things right so badly, I told myself it would be safe—”

  Amelia winced. “It isn’t your fault,” she interrupted. “I believed it was safe too. I thought I could shield you, but I didn’t count on my own…weakness. They found you tonight because of my failure.”

  Gabriel’s eyes had returned to their natural warm brown, penetrating her carefully manufactured calm to the turmoil beneath. They both knew what she meant, and they both regretted having given in to it. The consequences had been too great.

  “Perhaps,” he said, finally. “But ultimately, you weren’t the one slinging fire balls in Lila’s kitchen.”

  For the first time, the others seemed to notice just how much damage Gabriel had managed to do in such a short time.

  “Oh my God,” Lila breathed. “How am I going to explain this to the insurance company?”

  Sam whistled. They took in the blackened walls and melted linoleum floor. All the glass in the French doors leading out to the yard was broken, and the destroyed screen lay mangled on the back porch, having been ripped off its tracks during Donato’s retreat.

  Pots and pans had fallen from the ceiling rack hanging over the island. Anything sitting on top of the counter had either been blown across the room or smashed into a million pieces. The only thing that remained untouched was the delicious-smelling roast still cooking nicely in the oven.

  Turning back to Gabriel and Amelia, Sam fixed them both with an accusing glare. “We’re leaving. But before we do, I think you owe us an explanation for what just happened here.”

  Amelia shook her head. “I wish I could, but—”

  Lila interrupted. “Let me guess. The less we know, the safer we’ll be.”

  “I’m sorry, but it’s true.”

  “How long will it take you guys to pack a bag?” Gabriel asked.

  “I have to call my mother and ask her to keep Tony for another day or two.” Lila sounded uncertain, lost and scared. Her fingers pulled nervously at the sleeve of her shirt.

  Gabriel stepped forward with his hand outstretched but dropped it when Sam moved in between them, pulling Lila to the doorway. Although unspoken, the rebuke was clear. Sam didn’t trust Gabriel and wasn’t taking any more chances with Lila’s safety. “We can be ready in less than an hour.”

  Amelia’s heart ached to see Gabriel’s hurt. His lips pressed together in a tight line and he nodded. He watched his friends leave the room, saying nothing.

  After a long moment, he turned to her, his expression carefully blank. “I’ll go upstairs and get our stuff.”

  Perhaps she should have said something, but didn’t. She let him leave without telling him everything was going to be okay. Without telling him he’d be able to return to his friends soon. She let him go without warning him and without any apology for the betrayals to come.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Standing in the middle of the ruined kitchen, Amelia realized she’d rarely been alone, even briefly, not since Cassiel’s disastrous visitation two nights ago.

  Although it had been her job to see to Gabriel’s safety, those roles seemed to have been flip-flopping. More than once, he’d even become her protector, staying constantly at her side when she’d been so weak. He’d continued to have suspicions about her motives, but even when his temper reared he’d treated her with care and concern, maybe even…love.

  Love. Did she dare examine this most frightening of emotions? Did she dare acknowledge it within herself? No, what was the point? That way lay madness, torture and pain.

  Suddenly sensing that she was no longer alone, Amelia lifted her blade and spun around.

  “Michael,” she breathed.

  The Archangel’s great wings beat open and closed before settling into a relaxed pose behind him. His glow filled the room, encompassing her in its warmth. Thirty years ago—the last time she’d seen Michael—that warmth had seemed just like the aura of any other angel, perhaps a little more potent because he was an Archangel.

  Now, Amelia knew better. As a passionless creature, cold and distanced, she couldn’t have appreciated the enormity of an Archangel’s glory. But fractured as she was now by the emotions that plagued her, Michael’s aura was more than just light to her, more than just a flush of power. Like angel song, it was a balm that infused her weeping, blemished soul with a measure of serenity, giving her peace from the conflict and indecision she hated so much.

  Amelia sighed. Falling to one knee before him, she laid her blade on the floor and ducked her head, waiting for Michael to make the declaration of her failure and announce the consequences she was to face.

  “Why do you bow down to me now when you have never done so before, Amelia?”

  She glanced back up, meeting his eyes. “You entrusted me with Gabriel’s protection and I’ve failed miserably in performing that duty.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Why ask? He must already know. “I was too weak.”

  “In what way?”

  “I let myself become vulnerable in both body and spirit. Because of my weakness of body, Cassiel was given a chance to corrupt Gabriel. And because of my weakness of spirit…” She took a deep breath, bracing herself to continue. “O
h, Michael,” she groaned, mortified. “I wasn’t prepared for the temptation of all these human feelings. So many of them. They overwhelm me, clashing and contradicting each other. I wasn’t strong enough, couldn’t shut them out…”

  Michael waved off her explanation. Of course, she hadn’t said anything he didn’t already know. “You do not fully understand your own destiny, the path along which you walk, even now.”

  “My destiny?” She blinked. This was about Gabriel’s destiny, wasn’t it? “What are you talking about? What is it? What haven’t you told me?”

  He shook his head and frowned. “Later.”

  Later? If there was more she needed to know, something that could help her do the job she’d been chosen by him to do, then why hadn’t he told her from the first?

  Frustrated and angry, Amelia bit her tongue, determined to show him she could control her emotions. And as much as she wanted to make demands, it wouldn’t do to interrogate an Archangel.

  “What of the human?” he asked.

  She paused. “Lucifer’s soul has indeed been awakened. The transformation has begun. You must already know this to be true.”

  “Yes, I have certainly felt it.” Michael frowned. “But what leads you to believe your human is so fragile that his own soul will not conquer the dark angel?”

  Her brow lifted in surprise. “How could he possibly prevail over Lucifer?” Amelia hesitated. She didn’t want to divulge Gabriel’s growing struggle. It felt like a betrayal of his trust—not that she hadn’t resolved herself to any number of betrayals already. “I’ve witnessed the enormity of the conflict he’s under, seen proof of Lucifer’s growing strength. I don’t know how Gabriel could reject that kind of power.”

  He wanted to, though. It was the reason she’d hesitated to take matters into her own hands for so long. Gabriel was trying. She was awed by his determination to hold onto his humanity, and desperately wanted him to succeed. She just didn’t know if that determination would overcome his anger and pain, if it would be enough to see him through this—and she couldn’t afford to take the chance that it was not.