Play Only For Me: (A New Adult Romance)

by R. B. O'Brien

  “Whatever you say, Lauren.”

  Colton walked out of the classroom, wishing he wasn’t such an asshole, wishing he was a different person, wishing he had stopped to take the time to make her feel better.

  Of course, he had lied. He had purposely stayed outside the door waiting to make sure she was okay, but he wasn’t about to admit that. He knew she’d been crying.

  She could lie all she wanted. He knew all about lying, putting on fronts, and building up walls. He knew all too well. He just had no idea why she would. But she clearly didn’t want him to stick around, and he also knew a hint when he saw one, having been the giver of one too many himself.

  Good for her, he thought. She’s smart. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to her so much.

  As soon as Colton was safely out of the room, Lauren broke down. She couldn’t help it.

  Students began to filter in for the next class, and Lauren still had her psychology class to get to. She wished she’d picked a different schedule. Dancing and then two more classes in a row? It wasn’t the best choice she’d made. Never mind that she would probably be a sweaty mess for each and every time she was forced to see Colton in class. She needed to stop thinking about him.

  As she shuffled to class, she ran into Brian unexpectedly. “Lauren,” he said sweetly. “How are you doing?”

  “Okay, thanks. You?”

  He put both his hands on her shoulders to make her stop, and he looked into her face. “No, you’re not. Look at me. What’s wrong?” He sounded truly concerned for her.

  “Honestly, I’m fine. Still getting used to college. I promise. I just need time.”

  “You’re coming by my room tonight for dinner. I’ll make ramen noodles or mac and cheese or something. Say you’ll come.”

  She smiled. It might cheer her up. “Okay. That sounds great. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Come by around five, okay?”

  “Okay,” she conceded, her spirits lifted.

  She kept going, and there Colton stood with a girl pushing her hands through his hair, his eyes only fixated on Lauren as she walked past. She felt his eyes burning a hole in the back of her head as she kept walking. When she rounded the corner to her class, she looked back and Colton was in the embrace of the other girl, and Lauren kept on walking, right past psych and right outside, feeling sick to her stomach.

  She sat down to catch her breath on a bench and almost dry heaved. She pulled her hair out of the tight confines of her ponytail, feeling like the elastic was constricting her hair the way her lungs felt constricted. She ran her fingers through it, pulling it, trying to get the blood to her scalp so she wouldn’t pass out. She had no idea why this boy affected her in this way.

  Why should I care? He’s a playboy. Angela one night, this girl another. He isn’t nice, so why do I continually think of him, his smile, his laugh? Why did he drive me home if he hates me so much?

  She was so confused. It was the last day of add/drop. She needed to go see an advisor. That might solve everything. For the first time since she met him, she felt a little relief.

  ****

  “Wow. Great transcripts,” the advisor said as Lauren sat fidgeting in the chair in front of the cute, young female advisor. The center was busy and loud. Lauren had gone to the first available advisor and took a seat in the little cubicle.

  “Thanks,” Lauren agreed.

  “But shouldn’t you be in psychology right now? According to your schedule, that’s where you should be. What’s going on?”

  “Well, that’s just it. I need to change my schedule.”

  “Okay. Why? What class?”

  “Well…” Lauren had never done anything like this before. “I just need to find a different section of Music Expression. I can’t fit it in right between dance and psych. I need it on a different day.”

  “Okay,” the advisor said slowly. “I don’t believe that class is offered at any other time, Lauren. It’s a sort of elite elective. But I can check.”

  Lauren bit her nails, looking around at all the advisors, the students, the high-paced business of the office. The advisors took student after student into their cubicles, papers seemed to spit out of printers endlessly, phones rang, and Lauren waited nervously for all her troubles to be fixed.

  “Sorry, Lauren. There isn’t another section, and if you want to make it to the next level of classes, you need this in your sequence. I suppose you could take an extra class in the summer or something, but it’s risky. Not taking this now could throw your whole timeline and completion rate off. I don’t advise it.”

  “Well, I simply can’t stay in that class.”

  “Okay. It is your choice, but it’s not wise. Have you talked to Professor Blake?”

  “No.” Lauren slumped back down into her chair, the overwhelming feeling she’d felt earlier upon her again.

  “Lauren,” the advisor began slowly. “You’re a great student by all records here. It’s only the second week. Give it time. Everything will fall into place. I know it’s overwhelming right now. You’re not alone. Stick with it. If you fail, then we’ll cross that bridge and fix it then. But honestly, I think everything’s going to even out, Lauren. I’ve seen this thing happen before. Stay the course.”

  Lauren knew she was right. She actually loved the class. It was just Colton. And it was so stupid, it hit her like a ton of bricks, and she almost laughed. “Okay. I know you’re right. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” the bubbly advisor said, letting the receptionist know that she could take the next student.

  Walking out of the advising center, she noticed all her classmates exiting the classroom from psych, and she felt like a complete idiot for skipping class.

  “Hey!” Beth yelled over to Lauren. “Where were you?” They shared the class together. Beth had failed it the first time. Actually, Lauren thought, Beth had failed too many of her classes.

  “I wasn’t feeling too well,” Lauren said. Not a complete lie.

  “Yeah. You look a little pale. Head back. I’ve got all the notes for you. I’ll share them with you tonight.”

  “You really took notes?” Lauren joked.

  “New leaf, Percy. New leaf!”

  “Thanks, Beth.”

  When Lauren made it back to the dorm, she had a new resolve. College was meant to be fun. She owed it to her parents. They’d suffered enough. And it was meant to pave her future, a future she’d dreamed of for years, and a silly boy who she didn’t even know was not going to get in the way. She hit the button for the elevator. And then she heard it. Voices two doors down from the elevator. And she recognized Colton’s voice immediately.

  “I wish you could stay, Colton,” Lauren heard a female voice say. UGH! Lauren tried not to look over.

  “Have a practice to get to. I’ll call you.”

  “I’ll be waiting,” she said sickeningly.

  And Lauren couldn’t stop herself from glancing over. The girl hanging out the door was the same girl Colton had been with at the school. He started to walk towards the elevator to head out of the dormitory.

  Oh, please don’t let him see me, please don’t let him see me, Lauren begged to herself, but the elevator wouldn’t come in time and he’d have to walk right by her. She prayed he wouldn’t see her. She vowed to ignore him.

  Lauren could feel her heart beating in her chest as if the whole world might hear her nerves, as if it was an invitation to him to do whatever he wanted to her—helpless prey to a starving wolf. What’s he staring at? Why’s the elevator taking so long? She could feel him behind her, standing there. What’s he doing?

  She startled when it was Brian’s voice she heard and not Colton’s. She thought she actually jumped because she was so tense. “Hey, Lauren. Sorry. Elevator’s broken. I was just getting a sign.”

  Lauren was forced to turn around, and she couldn’t avoid Colton’s gaze. “Oh. Okay,” Lauren barely got out. “I was wondering why it was taking so long.”

  “Yeah
. You’ll have to take the stairs.”

  “No biggie,” she said, turning to go.

  “You still stopping by my place tonight to hang?” Brian asked, completely ignoring Colton’s presence.

  “I would…”

  “She can’t,” Colton interjected.

  “Oh?” Brian looked at Colton, confused, as if he only noticed him for the first time standing there.

  “Right, Lauren?” Colton continued. “That questionnaire. We need to get it done.”

  He had no idea why he was saying these things. He had no intention of seeing her. But Colton saw her, more than saw her. And he stopped dead in his tracks when he did.

  It was the first time he’d seen Lauren’s hair down. It fell down the middle of her back in dark waves as she stood with her back to him, fidgeting as she always did. It took every fiber of his being not to force her up to her dorm room and ruin her.

  He was supposed to be heading to Angela’s to work on music. Am I actually jealous? Of this little weasel?

  Brian seemed slightly uncomfortable. “Okay, then. Another time? Gotta go get this sign and talk to someone in room two-twenty-two. He looked over at Colton. “Colton Masters, right?”

  “Yeah. Have we met?”

  “Sort of. I know who you are.” And he looked like he didn’t particularly like what he knew.

  Brian turned to Lauren. “Well, you know where to find me, Lauren. I’m always here for you.”

  “Thank you, Brian. I really appreciate that. And I’ll”—she emphasized the word—“let you know about tonight. I doubt this questionnaire”—she shot Colton an exasperated look—“will take long at all.”

  “Okay, great!” Brian said, and turned to go.

  When Brian was out of earshot, Lauren shot Colton another look. “Questionnaire? Are you serious?”

  “Yes, I’m serious. We need to get that done.”

  She huffed at him, and he tried not to laugh.

  “You’ll have to come back later. I need a shower.”

  “Nah. I’ll just wait. I’m not heading all the way back to my apartment and then all the way back here.”

  “Wait? Wait where?”

  He felt his eyebrow cock. “Where do you think?”

  “Your new girlfriend’s?” Lauren said sarcastically.

  “Are you my new girlfriend?” He couldn’t help it, and he felt his smile spread across his face.

  She flushed. “What?”

  “I plan to wait in your dorm room. Last time I checked you weren’t my girlfriend.”

  “That I most certainly am not,” she said as if he couldn’t possibly be serious. “I was talking about the room you just came out of? You know the girl you were all over at school?”

  He laughed. “All over, huh?” He cocked his head.

  “Aaah!” She was so flustered. “You’re not staying in my room while I shower!”

  “Why not?”

  “First of all…”

  “I’ve seen girls in a towel before, Princess.”

  She was becoming light-headed. “Stop calling me that! I’m sure you have. I just…I’ll have to…get changed…and…”

  “And what?” He smirked. “I think I can handle it, Princess.”

  God. He infuriated her. She stood there with her mouth slightly open. She had no idea what to say. The thought of his experience with the opposite sex left her appalled and intrigued at the same time.

  “What? You really don’t want to finish the assignment? I thought you said Blake said we had to do it on our own time? I told you. I need my GPA.”

  She didn’t want to admit she’d lied. She would be humiliated. “Okay. Fine. But we’re only going to do the questionnaire. Got it?”

  He looked at her with innocent eyes. “What else do you think I could possibly want?”

  And then she felt like a complete idiot. He’d just fucked some random girl in her dorm. What do I think he wants? She didn’t know how to respond. “I…”

  “Don’t flatter yourself, rich kid. I need my grades to stay in this school. Now let’s get up those stairs so we can get this over with.”

  He knew he was being rude again. But the truth of the matter was that he really didn’t know what he wanted, and it was making him moody and irritable.

  “Fine,” she said, but he swore he saw her cringe.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Colton followed behind her just so he could study her as they climbed the stairs. Every time he saw her, her beauty stunned him more and more. Her rounded ass was firm but feminine, and her legs were long and lean. He wanted to reach up and touch her hair, the ends turning into little ringlets. He wondered if she’d like him to pull it while he fucked her. And then he stopped himself. She’s a fucking virgin for god’s sake.

  Why he couldn’t stop thinking about her that way, under him, on top of him, pressed against him, he just couldn’t understand. He wanted her. He wanted her bad. And yet, he knew she deserved better. He shook the thought away.

  “Here it is,” she said as they approached her room on the third floor. Colton could tell she was unnerved. She probably should be. He had no idea what he was doing with someone like her. She opened the door. “I guess Beth isn’t home yet.”

  “Good. I’ll just watch TV while you go do whatever you need to do. Get naked, I guess? Strip for me?”

  She inhaled sharply. “Are you here just to mock me?”

  He laughed. “Lighten up. I’m just teasing you.”

  “God. I just don’t…”

  “You just don’t what, Lauren?” he asked more agitated than he wanted. Her face was so flushed. Her lips parted, wet. He knew she had no idea that she looked like she was turned on and in need of a good fuck. “You just don’t want me to pass Music Expression?”

  She could feel that burn up her neck and onto her ears, and she wondered if she should come clean, tell him she lied, that they were off the hook with the questionnaire. But she feared he’d hate her even more than he seemed to already. Plus, Professor Blake didn’t say not to do it.

  “No. Of course not. It’s just hard to concentrate when you so clearly don’t want to be here,” she barked at him, grabbing her toiletries to take down to the bathroom.

  “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be,” he said softly.

  He changed on a dime, and she didn’t know how to act around him. She quickly grabbed some clothes to take down to the showers. She looked over at him. “Okay.”

  “Now that that’s settled. Where’s the remote?” He flung himself on her bed, and she wondered how he could even be certain which bed was hers and which bed was Beth’s. But he didn’t seem to care one way or another and made himself quite at home. Colton did what he wanted.

  She threw it at him, trying not to drop all her clothes and failing miserably, a bra tumbling onto the floor. She thought she’d die and wished to be sucked into the dorm room’s brown rug vortex.

  “Lauren, I’ve seen a bra in my day. You don’t have to take your clothes with you. I promise you can just come back here and get dressed. Okay? I promise not to look.”

  She sighed. “And I should trust you, why?”

  “Because I’m not all that interested.”

  Again, she felt like he punched her right in the stomach. Of course he isn’t interested. And somehow it hurt her feelings. “Okay,” she said, trying not to let on how hurtful his words always felt to her. “I’ll be right back.”

  Colton had lied again. It would take all his effort not to look at her, he knew, but he wasn’t interested in being some desperate peeping Tom type.

  He looked around Lauren and Beth’s room, and there was a true dichotomy going on. It was dark meets light, soft meets hard, sweet meets harsh. There was no question which things belonged to Lauren and which to Beth.

  He noticed a bunch of different framed pictures. He wondered whose were Lauren’s and whose were Beth’s, if Lauren had siblings or if she was an only child, trying not to look too closely at the pictures Lauren,
herself, were in. He pushed the thoughts away. Why should I care anything at all about her or her life?

  He lay down on Lauren’s bed, switched on the TV, and couldn’t help but take a long inhale from her flower-covered pillowcase. It smelled, well, like her, something decadent. Expensive, he thought. He repositioned the discomfort from between his legs and tried to lose himself in the mundane talk show bullshit that every station seemed to broadcast.

  “Okay,” she said, coming back quickly as she opened the door. “No looking.”

  Of course, Colton looked right at her—because he was trying so hard not to—and quickly turned away from the girl wrapped in the white towel that only barely covered her ass and most certainly did not cover her breasts. How could she not know how attractive she is? How is that even possible? And then he realized almost every girl he’d ever known had issues with body image, the most attractive of the attractive even. Christ, he whispered under his breath. But there was much more attractiveness in her than what merely lay under that towel. And he knew it.

  She heard him. Or at least she thought she did. But then she thought she must have imagined it. Why would he mutter Christ under his breath? Either way, she wished he’d said it, because that would mean he felt something. She wished he would make a move on her. She wished he would try to kiss her. And when he didn’t, she knew it was because he wasn’t interested. He kissed other girls. He slept with other girls. If he wanted to make a move, he was not a guy who wouldn’t know how.

  “You gonna hurry up so we can get this homework shit done,” he snapped. “I have places to be.”

  Lauren didn’t understand this boy. He came to me! Why am I taking his bullshit? She vowed to be done with him after the homework assignment was completed. She wasn’t going to talk to him again.

  “Yes. I’m going as fast as I can. I didn’t have a chance to shower after dance today. I had to. And you could stop being so rude. I had no idea you would be coming here to do this questionnaire. No idea.” She could feel her emotions taking over again and wished she could just tell him to leave. “Turn around.”