Wall of Silence

by Dorey Whittaker

  The morning flew by. At noon the girls were all dressed, had their pictures taken outside and then quickly retreated to the bride’s cabin so the guys could come down and have their pictures taken. All the girls, except the bride, kept peeking out the window, watching the photographer position the men. Susan was dying to peek but had promised Scott she would also wait for their moment.

  Twenty minutes later she heard the musicians playing. Carol Anne looked out the window, saw the first guests being seated, and quickly turned to Susan and squealed with excitement, “It’s starting, Susan. It’s one-thirty and guests are lining up at the guest book. Look, there’s Aunt Gladys with my cousin, Billy, and his wife.”

  The girls stood behind the shirred curtains and watched as guest after guest signed the book and took their seat. It was obvious that Susan was getting nervous, so Carol Anne distracted her by explaining who the different people were and how they were connected to the family.

  When the rows were about three-quarters filled, the girls stepped away from the window, checked themselves in the mirror, and waited for Mrs. Randal’s signal to start. The music was simply wonderful. There was a slight breeze, and the music was quieting the guests’ chatter. They were sitting there almost mesmerized, and then the musicians paused. The music changed, as if bringing everyone to attention. This signaled that Scott was now escorting his mother down the aisle.

  A moment later they heard the soloist begin. Susan hushed the girls, wanting to hear the words to the love song she and Scott had selected.

  Carol Anne saw Susan starting to get very emotional. “Susan, don’t you dare start crying. You’ll mess up your makeup, and I don’t have time to fix it.”

  Susan started laughing at Carol Anne’s panic. They were laughing as Bruce Randal knocked and entered. He was wearing a charcoal-gray tuxedo, which looked great against his salt-and-pepper hair. “My wife says you have about two or three minutes. Line up in the order you walk out, and she’ll signal when it’s time for us.”

  As they stood there waiting to be summoned, Susan remembered the evening, almost three months earlier, when Reverend Allan, discussing this ceremony, asked, “Who will be giving the bride away?” That was the first time she had thought about it. They all knew she had no family. She had no grandfather, and there were no distant uncles. There were no long-time family friends, and she didn’t even have her mother to give her away, as some girls were now doing.

  Bill Thomas broke the silence that night by offering, “Susan, Mrs. Thomas and I have been talking, and I would be honored to walk you down the aisle.”

  Susan remembered struggling with her emotions that day. She was having one of those lonely, lost moments when she was vividly reminded of how alone and detached her childhood had been. The fact there was not a single person she could ask to walk her down the aisle caused her unexpected pain. She remembered how Mr. and Mrs. Thomas sat there smiling at her. She knew they understood what she was going through and sincerely wanted to help.

  “Thank you, Dad. I appreciate your offering to walk me down the aisle, but I can’t let you do it. Carol Anne has graciously and unselfishly shared her home and family with me for the past seven years. I was part of this family long before Scott and I fell in love, and now I will be part of this family for the rest of my life. This is one thing that belongs only to Carol Anne. I will not ask her to share that. The first and only bride you should walk down the aisle is your daughter. But thank you for offering.”

  After some discussion, Mrs. Randal came up with the answer. “Susan, Mr. Randal thinks the world of you. I know he would be honored to walk you down the aisle on behalf of everyone who loves you. Our three daughters are all long-since married, and this would not be a problem.”

  She loved Mr. and Mrs. Randal. She had worked with Mrs. Randal for almost three years now, spending many a Saturday afternoon at her house planning business meetings. Mr. Randal would fix them sandwiches and make sure they had lots of iced tea. He was always friendly, and she loved to hear his affectionate stories that slightly embarrassed Mrs. Randal. This couple was still very much in love. He was sweet and kind, and she thought he would be perfect. “If you think he wouldn’t mind, I’d love for him to walk me.”

  So here they stood, Mr. Randal and Susan, waiting for Mrs. Randal’s signal to start.

  The soloist finished and the music changed, which meant Scott and the guys were entering.

  Mrs. Randal signaled for them to begin. With a nervous giggle, the first bridesmaid opened the door, turned to Susan with a big smile, and said, “Here we go.”

  Mrs. Randal had timed this walk about ten times and knew that as soon as Carol Anne reached the runner, Susan needed to begin her walk. It was twenty-five feet from the cabin door to the center back of the canopy. This would give Carol Anne time enough to reach the front and turn.

  When Mrs. Randal motioned for Susan to begin, Mr. Randal offered his arm, and they headed out.

  All the guests were seated inside the huge white canopy, which made them comfortably shaded from the bright sunlight. Scott watched as his sister walked down the aisle. He had not seen her dress and couldn’t remember ever seeing her more lovely. As she reached the front, Scott stepped forward, gave his sister a kiss on the cheek, took her arm, and escorted her to her place in front.

  Because this was not planned, it caught Mrs. Thomas off guard and she started to cry. She was so proud of her children, and seeing the love and affection Scott had for his sister was more than her emotions could handle today. Mr. Thomas, well supplied with tissues, reached over and handed her one. “Honey, you’d better pace yourself or you’ll never make it through this wedding.”

  Scott quickly stepped back into his place, keeping his eyes focused on the end of the runner. He was waiting for his bride to appear. Susan and Mr. Randal stepped to the edge of the canopy. Mrs. Randal quickly straightened her train and then signaled the musicians. Standing there waiting for her cue, Susan could not possibly imagine the effect her standing there had on those who could turn and see her. Susan stood outside the canopy with the sun shining directly down on her. Her headpiece was a crown of rhinestones with the veil falling like a spray around her head. Her jet-black hair glistened in the afternoon sun, and curls framed her radiantly happy face and cascaded around her shoulders. The dress fit snugly against her bodice and waist, and the skirt seemed to flow out forever. As she stood there, the sun dancing around her dress, shining off the sequins and pearls, the response from the guests seemed to move across the room like an ocean wave.

  Everyone began turning to get their first peek at Scott’s bride—everyone except Carol Anne. She had her eyes on her brother. She did not want to miss that first look when Scott saw Susan. As she watched his face, she silently whispered a little prayer. Lord, please send me someone who will love and cherish me as my brother does Susan. Help me have the patience to wait for him. I too want someone to have that look in their eyes for me.

  Carol Anne heard her brother give a slight choking sound as the Wedding March began. He never took his eyes off Susan as she walked toward him. They were both smiling, but their eyes were only for each other. Everyone present hushed as Scott stepped forward and took Susan’s arm.

  Reverend Allan spoke for a minute or two, talking about the importance of marriage, and then asked, “Who gives this woman in marriage to this man?”

  “On behalf of all who love and cherish her, I do.” Mr. Randal leaned over and gave Susan a kiss on the cheek and then whispered, “God bless you, Susan.”

  He then took his seat next to Mrs. Randal, who had slipped into her seat, not wanting to miss the ceremony. Reverend Allan spoke about Scott and Susan. He shared a story or two with the guests that showed what special people they were. He spoke for several minutes, but Scott wasn’t listening. He kept whispering, “You’re absolutely beautiful … you are absolutely beautiful ….”

  When Reverend Allan finished, he motioned for the bride and groom to step forward and stand
under the arched trellis. They stood face to face until the soloist finished, and then Reverend Allan stepped in front of Scott and Susan and led them in their vows. He prayed a blessing for their lives together, and as he ended his prayer, he announced loud enough for everyone to hear, “By the power vested in me by the state of Georgia, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Scott, you may kiss your bride.”

  With that, Scott lifted Susan’s veil and tenderly kissed his bride. Reverend Allan then announced, “For the first time anywhere, I am proud to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Scott Michael Thomas.”

  The music started and the happy bride and groom began their walk up the aisle. But having secretly planned this ahead of time, they stopped at the first row and each gave Mr. and Mrs. Thomas, Mrs. Randal, and Aunt Gladys a kiss. Then they continued on up the aisle.

  After the wedding party had cleared the canopy, Reverend Allan announced, “There are cold drinks and appetizers being served on the veranda and patio at the main house. As soon as the photographer has finished taking pictures, Mr. and Mrs. Scott Thomas would be honored to have you join them for dinner in the dining room.”

  The dinner bell rang at three o’clock as planned. The two-hundred-fifty guests were ushered in and directed to their assigned seats. There were in all. As soon as everyone was seated, Reverend Allan introduced the wedding party as they entered the room. When the bride and groom entered, the room exploded with applause and cheers. Scott’s eyes swept the room as they took their seats at the main table. It was apparent everyone was enjoying themselves, and this pleased him.

  At a quarter to five, Mrs. Randal stepped up to the podium, announcing that everyone was requested to begin moving out to the patio for the cutting of the wedding cake. The wedding party went out first, positioning themselves around the cake so the photographer could take pictures. As their guests were enjoying their cake and coffee on the patio, the bride and groom slipped away to change. A few minutes later they appeared on the veranda in their traveling clothes.

  They quickly found Mrs. Randal and gave her a hug and kiss. “You know you missed your calling, Mrs. Randal. There was not a single thing missing today. Thank you so much for all your hard work. We both appreciate so much everything you have done for us.”

  Mrs. Randal was beaming with pride. She knew she had done a great job. She had been overhearing the comments of the guests all afternoon. Everyone was saying what a gorgeous wedding it was, so she was satisfied.

  After having said all their goodbyes, Scott and Susan drove down the tree-lined road that led them to the highway. Scott put his arm around his bride, and they both were quiet as they thought about their day. It was several minutes before either of them spoke.

  Then, almost whispering, she said, “Mrs. Scott Michael Thomas. I love how that sounds.”

  “Well, you just keep saying it because that’s your name for the rest of your life. Fifty years from today, when we’re celebrating our golden anniversary, we’ll sit together and remember today.”

  Chapter 18

  They had a wonderful time in New York. Scott always said there was no place as awesome as New York in the springtime and he was right. For their first morning together as man and wife Scott had ordered a horse-drawn carriage to pick them up in front of the hotel. They rode through Central Park sipping coffee and eating a traditional New York bagel. Every tree was absolutely bursting with springtime. The sweet smells of spring simply made you forget you were right in the heart of a big city. The roller skaters were out early, probably wanting to get in a morning skate before heading off for work somewhere.

  As they rode along, Scott looked over and watched his new bride’s eyes as she got her first glimpse of Central Park. He thought about how special these next two weeks were going to be, watching her fall in love with the same things he had come to love here. He couldn’t wait to take her to her first Broadway musical tonight. He remembered how he felt the first time he attended one. He thought his feet would never hit the floor again. He remembered how he would walk around after the show, drinking in the essence of Broadway and enjoying its magic. Now he was going to share that same wonder with this woman, whom he so desperately loved.

  Riding along, holding hands, Scott thought about their first night together and smiled. He thought about all the personal life decisions he had made to get himself to this place. His father had told him how important it was to go against all that society was teaching about safe, free, and open sex. He remembered how his father talked so openly about the beauty and wonder of sharing this, the most intimate of acts, only with someone with whom you intended to share your whole life. His father had encouraged him to be patient and wait for a wonderful woman, and he had.

  Sitting with Susan beside him, Scott remembered how embarrassed he had been by his father’s graphic picture of lovemaking. His father said, “Boys go for a thrill. Men share love. Son, I can’t even begin to tell you what it feels like to hold the woman you have made your bride in your arms for the very first time after making love. Any dog on the street can learn technique. Women want to feel loved, not maneuvered. I promise you, if you focus your sexual energy on becoming a decent, honorable, and loving man and wait for the right girl, you’ll never be disappointed. When you lie beside her beautiful body, exploring for the first time the wonderful gift sex is, you don’t want the image of some cheap thrill to cloud that moment. Every man has only one such moment to share. You need to save it, as a gift, for the woman you truly love.”

  He had always thought his father was a wise man, and now he knew it. Everything his father promised came true. Although a little clumsy, and a little embarrassed, Scott and Susan’s first experience together was more wonderful than either could ever have imagined because they both knew they had waited for each other.

  As the carriage brought them back to the hotel, Scott stepped out and offered his bride a hand. Stepping down onto the sidewalk, she gave her new husband a kiss. She had thoroughly enjoyed their ride together, although she hadn’t wanted to get up quite that early.

  She too had been anxious about their first night together for most of the past few months. After all, her mother was not the type of person any girl would want to go to for sexual advice. She had wondered about the effects her parents’ relationship might have on her and worried if she would be a disappointment to Scott. Concerned about this, she talked with Dr. Jacobson, whom she had met at the retreat when she was in her teens, sharing her concerns of possibly being cold and unresponsive because of her childhood fears.

  They met several times, and Dr. Jacobson wisely shared things with her that every mother should share with their daughter. “Susan, there’s no great mystery to sex. Don’t worry about your body. It will know what to do if you just focus on him, knowing how much you love him and he loves you. Your body will respond. If you get embarrassed or feel a little panic, open your eyes! Look at that face that you love, and I promise, you’ll be fine.”

  As they stepped into the elevator and headed back up to their room, she thought about what Dr. Jacobson had said and how true it was. Standing there with Scott beside her, she was amazed at how un-embarrassed she felt. It had all felt so natural as they lay together afterward, his arms around her. It also helped knowing Scott wasn’t lying there comparing her to a dozen other women. She thought about how comfortable she felt lying in his arms, much too in love to feel embarrassed.

  Entering their room, Susan slipped her hand in Scott’s and led him over to the bed. She loved him with all her heart and wanted to enjoy the feeling of having him next to her again. She lifted her face to his, and with a twinkle in her eyes and an impish grin on her face, she said, “Honey, we have several hours before we need to dress for the show. You aren’t really hungry for lunch yet, are you?”

  Scott leaned down and gave his wife a kiss. He knew exactly what she was suggesting, and that was fine with him.

  The next two weeks flew by. They saw five different plays, toured the Statue of Liberty, visited every ar
t gallery and museum in the city, saw Wall Street, shopped at all the famous stores, and tasted all kinds of different foods. They were much too busy to think about anything but themselves. After all, it was their honeymoon. The only time they thought about anyone else was while they were shopping. They decided to pick out a few small items as thank-you gifts. Other than that, they were in a world all their own. Soon enough, it would be time to board that plane and head back to reality, but not one minute sooner than was absolutely necessary.

  ***

  Back in Atlanta, everyone was trying to get back to normal. The family had all the final tasks to do: returning the tuxedos, gathering up the decorations, stacking all the wedding gifts in a safe place, and recovering emotionally. The bride and groom never seem to understand the impact a wedding has on all those left behind after the wedding. Even when everyone is excited and happy for the marriage, the months of planning, of putting everything else in your life on hold until this magical date, has its cost. Then it’s over. There is this empty, lost feeling, like you’ve said goodbye to your best friend.

  Mr. and Mrs. Thomas put Carol Anne on a plane back to California the day after the wedding. Kissing his daughter goodbye, Mr. Thomas had a hard time keeping his emotions under control. He knew it was stupid to feel sad. After all, both his children were well, happy, and doing what they should be doing—getting on with their lives.

  Walking back to the car, Bill put his arm around his wife and said, “Why don’t you and I go on a honeymoon? We deserve another one after all these years.”

  Caroline chuckled at her husband, knowing how sentimental and emotional a character he was. “Honey, we’ve been on a honeymoon every day for that past thirty years. Let’s go home.”