“You just about covered all the bases.” I joked, trying to lighten the painful energy between us.
“Yeah, looks like it. Let’s go.” He shifted to the door pulling the door handle but stopping before he could completely open the door. “Liv.”
“Yes, Ocean.”
“Say you meet someone, a guy, a guy that can help you get through this when I can’t. I won’t be mad. You deserve the best so take it if it comes.”
I opened my mouth to argue but nothing came out. I didn’t want anyone else to come along; there was no one else that could come along after Ocean.
He was the beginning, middle, and end of my life. There were no substitutes or alternates. It was just Ocean Grant Hawthorne.
I nodded at him just to acknowledge his request. My heart was set on fighting for him so I didn’t give what he asked of me a second thought.
He opened the door and I got a view of Law holding his mom under his arm and Ocean’s father standing next to her with a warm and caring smile on his face. I wonder if when he looked at me he felt like he was looking at the daughter he’d lost. Ocean stepped out and extended his arms to scoop me up and out of the limo.
And this is when shit got real… too real.
Chapter Sixteen
Ocean
I could sense that Liv only agreed to take the chance if she met someone better while she was here as a way to please me. I knew she wouldn’t let me go so easily, or at all, from the look of commitment and promise in her eyes. That look scared me half to death when I recognized it. It should have made me feel better, but thinking about the person she would be coming home to… well I didn’t want her to give that side of me a chance.
I wasn’t worth it when I was hell bent on destroying everything and everyone in my path and in my pathetic life. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt her the ways I knew I could and would if she let me take it that far.
The hot and stale air of summer slammed into my face as I exited the limo. When I saw the facility behind Law, my dad, and Aunt Layla I wanted to jump back in the limo and hold the driver at gun point and demand he get us the hell out of here.
Pulling Liv out of the limo unraveled my last pinch of sense and the ability to keep myself calm. My heart began to pound as my head swam violently. I couldn’t hear a word or any background noise due to the pounding of my heart in my ears.
I held her close to me the way wild animals held their young in order to protect them from an outside threat. Right now the outside threat consisted of my family standing in front of me and the two huge fucking security guards walking out the front door of the facility.
I looked at Law who gave me a half ass smile as he looked at Liv then down at the ground. My aunt Layla had a pained look in her eyes but it was directed at me instead of Liv. That’s when I knew they were prepared for my breakdown that was going to happen in five, four, three…
Law stepped forward, reaching out slowly towards Liv. “Come on Sunshine, they’re waiting for you.”
I looked down at Liv who had the same panicked look in her eyes as I did. Her lips were trembling and her eyebrows here pulled down tight as she fought to keep her breathing under control.
FUCK!
I turned my body to face her, tilting her chin up and forcing her to look at me. “Liv, I love you, you know that right? Please tell me you fucking know that because I can’t do this. Baby, I’m drowning.”
I pulled her lips to mine, kissing her softly and carefully like she was a ghost about to disappear into a distant and faded memory at any moment.
Law stepped closer to us and I wanted to break his goddamn nose for always being the good one; always being the one in fucking control. I knew he was going crazy in that psychotic brain of his just as I was.
Before I could think of acting on my thoughts, I pulled Liv back from me and pushing her gently into Law’s waiting arms.
It wasn’t helping me that she would not let go willingly. She was pushing back against my hand on the small of her back making me practically shove her into Law’s arms.
Once he had a firm grip, he quickly pulled her into his arms. I watched as her lips trembled even more and her eyes went cross-eyed again, either from the physical pain she was still feeling or the threat of hyperventilating and passing out.
My dad came to stand next to me, dropping his arm over my shoulders to keep me from falling over. The earth was shifting underneath my feet and I felt like I was falling into a dark and bottomless pit of hell; a hell without Livie’s existence.
I mean…what kind of person couldn’t live without the person they loved endlessly for a fucking month… ME!
As Law turned Sunshine on her heels facing the two guards waiting for her, my soul shattered into a million pieces.
“No,” I said in a whisper. I felt my dad grip my shoulder tighter.
“No!” I shouted louder.
Not realizing what my body was doing, I flipped out. The only thoughts registering in my scrambled brain were that I wanted Liv back in my arms, in my bed, and in our home.
Fuck rehab, I could get her back everything that she’d lost just the same.
“No Liv! Not this way!”
Her head snapped around. It killed me to see the tears flowing down her frantic face.
Law pushed her forward.
“FUCK, NO! LAW! BRING HER BACK!”
I shoved my father off me but before I could make a run for Law and Liv, he came up behind me, locking my arms behind my back. I forgot the son of a bitch was the one who taught me how to fight.
“Get. Off. Me! Get the hell off me!” I struggled but his grip got tighter.
“Lawrence, if you don’t let her go I’ll fucking kill you! YOU HEAR ME. I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH. SHE’S MINE! LIVIE IS FUCKING MINE!”
With one last look back, Liv pulled away from Law and my heart faltered.
“Ocean! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Ocean!” Her weak voice called back to me.
Law reached out to her again and she slapped his hand away. “I can’t Law. He needs me!”
She went to take a step away from Law, but her leg gave out and her body crashed to the floor. Whaling out in pain, she cried my name. She was crying for me to pick her up and take her home.
I blacked out seeing nothing but darkness and feeling nothing but heat. I ran backwards, slamming my dad’s body into the limo.
Once free from his grip, I made a run for Liv. Law came at me, dodging my right hook but he couldn’t block my left in time. As my fist connected, he went flying sideways from the momentum of the blow.
“Let me go! Let me go! Ocean! Please stop! I need Ocean!”
Distracted by the two fucks moving fast towards Liv and scooping her up off the ground, Law clocked me twice in the face, once to the chin and once to the nose.
Again, I felt someone behind me pinning my arms to my back. Aunt Layla jumped in front of me. “I’m so sorry Ocean, please forgive me.”
There was a painful prick in my neck and instantly my vision blurred. Everything looked and sounded far away. I knew my arms were being pinned behind my back but in my mind, I was still reaching out to Liv.
She was screaming and kicking wildly as the two guards tried to immobilize her. I saw another person run out of the doors, a girl this time. Then my vision turned black and the world around me swirled, shifted, and swallowed me in its dark bottomless pit of nothing.
I was cold and void of all thoughts and feelings. The sensation was a familiar retreat for me but a dangerous retreat. I didn’t fight it. I let the demons cloak my pain with their devilish taunts and let them drag me down to the hell where I’d stay until Liv brought me back.
If she could bring me back.
****
Lawrence
“Son, let me reset your jaw before the swelling kicks in.” I swatted my uncle’s hands away from my face.
“N-no-oo.” I gritted through my unevenly clenched teeth.
The ruthless son of a bitch that was laid out on the bench opposite from me had knocked my jaw off the fucking hinges. I wanted to murder him right now; if I could just do it now then all would be right in my world.
My uncle’s agitated face came back into my line of site. “Lawrence, stop being a pussy! Let me reset your damn jaw before Layla has a fucking cow. It’s either her or me and if she has to do it, you won’t hear the end of it. You’ve had worse. Relax and let me fix it!”
I narrowed my eyes at the old man, wishing he were my father so I could break his nose just because. I looked back to Ocean, who my mom tranquilized just to get his big ass in the fucking limo and go home.
It was because of him Sunshine lost her cool. It was because of him she fell and I couldn’t be the one to help her up. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I shifted away from my uncle and lunged forward for Ocean’s lifeless body. He was half dead already so I just wanted to do him the favor and finish him off.
As I lunged off my seat, I got in two solid punches to Ocean’s face before I felt an arm around my neck. It was my uncle’s painful sleeper hold and I was fighting it still whaling on Ocean.
My eyesight went fuzzy and I could feel blood fighting to rush back into my head. With one last punch to Ocean’s face, splitting both his top and bottom lip, I pulled my hands back and up in surrender.
My uncle slammed me back into the seat and grabbed me by the neck. “You listen to me Lawrence HAWTHORNE and you listen to me carefully! You and Ocean are not going to kill each other over this. I’ve lost too much in my life in such a short period of time to lose you two motherfuckers all in one days’ time. You got that, Rambo?! I am not losing my two sons!”
I tried to turn my head to face the window but he tightened his grip on my neck.
“You will be stronger than Ocean is and you will bring Livie back and keep your family together. Do you understand me son? Your mother can’t take another loss and I’m sure as hell not losing my sister because you two fucks can’t keep your emotions in check and your heads on straight!”
All the old man had to do was mention my mother suffering because of my actions and my walls came crashing down.
I gave him a nod as the tears broke free and I cried like a bitch in the back of the limo. He pulled me into a hug then released me to give me the space and time to cry alone, but not before he grabbed my head and slammed my jaw back in place. I think I blacked out from the pain because I saw and felt nothing but darkness.
Chapter Seventeen
Livie
The swooshing of air thrummed into my ears and I felt my heart beat in my throat. I wanted to open my eyes but they felt heavy, too heavy. I felt like I was free falling into nothingness.
“Mmm,” I moaned, trying to will myself to come back to life. I stilled even more at the sound of distant voices and things being moved around. I focused on opening my eyes.
When I was finally able to see, the room I was in was dark and felt cold. I did not recognize anything, just dark shadows moving within the room. My brain felt muddled with only empty space that didn’t make sense.
I tried to move my arm, pain shot up to my shoulder and I hissed under the intensity. I think the intensity of the pain was sending me into shock because my body temperature was changing from hot to cold faster than I could adjust.
“Easy.” I heard a voice say in front of me.
“I’m going to turn on the lights and they’re pretty damn bright. So close your eyes, okay?”
The voice that was speaking to me was a female. There was a slight accent in the way she pronounced her words and it sounded familiar to me.
“You ready?” The smooth and honest voice asked me.
“Uh huh.” was the best I could get out.
I heard a click and the lights shined bright even from behind my eyelids. She wasn’t kidding, whoever she was.
“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere. When you’re ready to open your eyes and get up, I’ll help you. I’m your roommate, Dulce.”
The reality of my situation just became clear. The last seconds of being with Ocean leaked into my mind and my heart struggled to keep pumping blood through my veins. He’d flipped and needed me and I wasn’t able to get to him.
His behavior was all because of me. I was always the cause of someone’s heartache. Unfortunately for me, my actions always hurt the people I cared for and needed most in my miserable world of pain and suffering.
I was here and the people I loved the most were gone. I stitched the open wound that bled for Ocean and his family and sealed it with a kiss for now. I had to deal and if I didn’t, there would never be a better day to look forward to. There wouldn’t be a better me to give to Law and Ocean. I would need to start looking for pain in the healthier things in life, if that even existed, so I opened both eyes and let the bright fluorescent lights sting drawing tears from them.
I guess I had imagined a white, cold and empty room being my new home for the next couple of weeks but my room was not like that at all. The walls and ceiling were painted a soft lilac color with a cute trim of floral designs. The air circulating around me was cold and sterile, but not the same as a hospital. The smell of the air was clean with a homey smell.
“Well good morning, night, or whatever you want to call it. How are you feeling, Sunshine?”
My body jerked towards the soothing voice at the mention of my nickname.
“What, how do…” the dizziness kicked in as I tried to raise my head to get a better look at my roommate.
I let my head fall back onto the pillow beneath me.
“Easy chica. You’re in pretty rough shape and considering how it took me and two three hundred pound guards to bring you in, I would say you need to try and relax.”
With my head resting on my pillow, I turned my head to face the voice coming from the other side of the room. She was sitting on what looked like a futon bed. She could have been my sister before everything went wrong. That or she was in real close relation to me and I just didn’t know it.
We were like night and day. I was the darker version and she was the lighter version. If anything, she deserved the nickname Sunshine because that’s what she looked like to me.
Looking at her reminded of Shakira. I resembled Shakira when she first came out as an artist, the days when she had black hair and an earthier look to her.
Dulce, as she called herself, was the newer, refreshed version of Shakira people see today, the smiling blonde-haired artist and bombshell beauty.
“What? Do I have something in my nose?”
Oh she was going to be perfect for Law. I can’t wait for their epic show down. This woman was going to give him a run for his fortune and he was going to absolutely love the chase.
If I had the strength and energy, I would have laughed at her. Being around her and talking to her was as easy as it was with Law the first time we met. Considering all that’s happened around me since then, I couldn’t completely decide if this was a good thing or not.
“No, sorry. You’re just very pretty and very nice.”
She frowned then shrugged off the compliments quickly. “Aw, that’s because you don’t know me yet, Sunshine.” She said, looking down at her hands as they played with the frilly parts of her pillow.
“Why do you call me Sunshine, anyway? Who told you to call me that?”
The golden-haired Shakira look alike known as Dulce frowned again. “Uh no, I have this thing with nicknames. If it reminds you of something bad I’ll try and stop but I really can’t make any promises. Once I nickname someone it never goes away.”
A current of pain shot up my left arm and I hissed as it rocked my brain back and forth. I felt my body sink into the mattress underneath me as my body deflated from the extreme pain, both mental and physical. I felt the bed dip next to me and the smell of cinnamon swirled into my nostrils.
“I know you don’t know from me Jose or Julio from the barrio, but I’d like to help you if you let me.”
/> I thought about it for a minute. There really was nothing to think about because even if she hadn’t offered, I couldn’t even sit up straight without help.
“Okay. Thanks.”
She turned her head and then looked back down at me. “Look Sunshine, it’s two in the morning and you’ve been sleeping since they brought you in around two yesterday afternoon. What do say we get you showered, groomed, clothed, dressed, and fed before we go back to sleep?”
I hesitated at the thought of letting a complete stranger give me a shower. I guess she saw the panic on my face because she laughed.
“Don’t worry. Even with my traumatic history, I still love men. If you can manage it, I will just hold you steady while you clean your lady parts with your good hand. Deal?”
It was hard not to feel comfortable with her so I let all of my already crumbling walls down.
No more walls.
“Deal.”
Chapter Eighteen
Lawrence
I punched my headboard out of frustration and anger for the millionth time since I got home. I had to help carry Ocean’s bitch ass out of the limo and up to his room. I should have left his stupid ass on the side of the curb or near the dumpsters for trash pick-up.
I haven’t been this mad at him in years and it felt wrong. It went against how I truly felt for my cousin since he was more of a bother to me than anything else. I rolled over to take a peek at the time and it was ten minutes to five.
I looked around my empty room and again anger flushed through my veins. My palms were itching to grab my cell phone and call a girl to come over. Not just any girl though, I needed to call a girl that would let me fuck my frustrations into her.
A girl who would not crumble when I wanted to take her from the back, on top, underneath me, on the floor, and whatever other position I wanted to take her in. I needed that right now. I needed to bury my pain in a tight pussy. More than one tight pussy was preferable considering all the pent up anger I had inside.
When one girl got too tired, I’d move on to the next. Seemed simple…right? Even though my anger and ego were talking a good game, my heart wasn’t.
Oceans Submerged: Book Two, the Oceans Series Page 7
