“You were gonna leave without saying goodnight?” I can hear the smile in his voice. I pull away and look up at him. He’s as good looking as his brother.
“Sorry. I needed to get away,” I sigh.
“No worries. He’s being an arse. I get it,” he chuckles. “He’s a man. Give him a chance.” He winks making me laugh. Spence really is charming. His face turns serious. “Don’t give up on him Ella. He’s a damn jealous fool. He needs to get his head out his ass but give him time.”
“How much time does he need, Spencer?” I ask exasperated.
“Damon keeps his guard up, Els. With everyone. Everyone but you.” He smiles at me. A real genuine smile. I can’t help but smile back a little. “He likes you a lot. He’s just got to figure his shit out. I think you leaving will give him a good kick up the ass. Just be patient with him.”
“I will.” A taxi pulls up to the kerb. God I hope it’s for us.
“Damon mentioned talking to you about my hotel venture. Can we set something up? I really don’t know the ins and outs of the party planning shit. Can we meet during the week?” He gives me a cheeky grin.
“Sure.” Sofia and Wesley come out the club. They say another quick goodbye to Spencer before climbing in the cab. “Call me, Spence, and we’ll set up a good time to meet.”
“Okay, Els. You going back to Damon’s?”
“No. Well, yes, I need to so I can get my keys but I’ll be going back to my place afterwards.”
“No you’re not.” I pull back with a frown at his tone. “It’s not safe, Ella. Damon told me what happened. Your safety comes first. Don’t put yourself in an unsafe situation because of pride. Stay at Damon’s, at least until the morning.” He concern warms me. He seems really worried.
“I’ll stay there then, Spence. Night.” I kiss his cheek and climb in the car.
“Night guys,” Spencer calls in the door before shutting it behind me. The night turned to shit. I just want to crawl in bed and sleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
I get back to Damon’s in a daze. I say a quick goodbye to Sofia and Wes and go straight to my room. I quickly undress and climb straight into bed. This night turned out like one of Lydia’s experiences. I pull out the diary and flip to the night Lydia slapped Leona.
April 7th 2011
I FUCKING HATE HER. SHE’S A BITCH!!!!
Who the hell does she think she is? Leona is the biggest bitch I’ve ever met! Damon is mine. Does she not get that? I’ll fucking kill her before I let her take him away from me.
She was rubbing up and down Damon every chance she got then had the nerve to say to me that he’ll never be mine. If only she knew. I know it won’t be long before we can tell people we’re together but until then I need to keep my temper calm.
Damon was not happy when I slapped the cow but what does he expect? She and her friends thinking they know everything. AHHHHH I REALLY CAN’T STAND HER!!!
She’ll eat her own words when she finds out Damon and I are going to get married. When he asks me I’ll have the last laugh and she’ll be left behind!
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
June 7th 2014
I wake with the worst hangover ever. My head is throbbing, my stomach churning and I smell. I can still taste and smell alcohol lingering on my skin and in my mouth. My mouth is so dry I feel like ten pints of water wouldn’t help.
I make my way to the bathroom to refresh myself. I cup my hands under the running facet and drink and the cool water sliding down my throat instantly eases my stomach. I quickly brush my teeth then jump in the shower.
After making myself feel better, refreshed, I make my way to the kitchen for something to eat. I need beer food. Greasy. Fattening. Delicious. Damon is nowhere to be found and I realise he must have gone in to the office. Or not come back home at all. Maybe he stayed with Leona. Just that thought makes me slump in defeat.
Why, when I’ve finally decided I could find some happiness again, does this have to happen? Why does it have to be with a man I shouldn’t be able to stand? Why with a man whom I know plays games? I shake my head at my stupidity. I know I wanted to see where things would go between Damon and me but I’m not sure my head is in the right place to play his games.
Realising there are no ingredients to make sausage and egg muffins, I gather my purse and coat, put on some shoes and leave to go find a greasy cafe to get my hangover cure.
I spend the day walking around the shops. I’ve made a few purchases for myself. Nothing like a bit of retail therapy to pull a woman from a hangover.
I’m at the grocery store picking up a few essentials. I need to stock back up on deodorant and shampoo, as well as a few food items. As I walk through the aisle with all the sanitary towels and Tampax to get my deodorant, I freeze, doing the math in my head. I frantically try to remember when I had last had a period, realising it is over six weeks. I feel the panic rising up in my throat.
Trying to calm down, I talk myself out of thinking the worst. I can’t be pregnant... I know I’m not always regular but... it’s not possible... the doctor told me I would need help.... oh fuck... the sickness... the ache constantly in my breasts... the fucking crying... I never cry.... oh god, okay breathe, Ella, breathe... just go get a test...
I walk to the next aisle stopping at the pregnancy tests. There are so many - digital ones, ones that tell you how far along you are, ones that can be done so many days early. I feel like I’m in my own personal hell. This can’t be happening.
Okay, don’t panic, Ella. This is more than likely a bug. I can’t be pregnant. I just can’t. Get this over with just to settle your mind and everything will be okay. Even as I think the words I don’t believe them.
I grab three different tests, all items I came to get forgotten, and I head to the self service counter. I quickly scan the tests. To my utter dismay I need assistance to get the security tags off. At least it’s a woman who helps. I key in the pin to my credit card, fuck £39 for three pregnancy tests, what a rip off, and put them in a bag making a hasty retreat.
I practically run to the exit and to my utter horror the stupid store alarms go off. I feel the mortification creep up to my neck as the security guard approaches.
“Excuse me miss, please can I just check your bag?” I hand him the bag and receipt refusing to look up at him. He takes the bag over to the counter and scans them again. They beep, telling him the alarms have been removed. Handing me back the bag he smiles at me “Good luck, love,” he says with a wink. I quickly turn on my heels and run to my car as fast as my four inch stilettos will take me.
I make the journey back to Damon’s in a daze. I can’t remember getting there but I find myself sitting in the driveway just resting my hands on my stomach. Would I keep a baby? Would I even be able to raise a child? I don’t know the first thing about raising a baby, I have no one who could help me learn, no family left to rely on.
That though fills my eyes with tears. Sadness tears through me. I feel so alone.
I shove the carrier bag in my handbag and walk through the front door. Damon and Spencer are in the living room chatting away so I head for my room. Just as my foot hits the first step I hear Spencer call out for me.
“How you feeling, Els?” I groan. If only he knew. Spencer’s chuckle reaches my ear. “Wanna join us for a drink? Hair of the dog and all that.” My hand freezes on the rail as I turn to look at him. He has risen from his seat and is walking towards me. “Hey are you okay, you look kind of pale.” I shake my head and take a breath before answering.
“I’m fine, I just feel a little sick, hangover,” I say nonchalantly. I don’t want them to see how stressed I am. “Thanks though, Spence,” I smile and risk a glace towards Damon. He’s standing watching me, his face expressionless. I can’t tell if he’s still pissed or wary of me being pissed. I turn on my heels and sprint to my room, not daring to look back at him again. I don’t have the right mind frame to think about Damon and me at the minute. I have more pressing matters.<
br />
I slam my door behind me, kicking off my shoes and undoing my jeans, feeling hot. I strip down to just my underwear before grabbing my bag again and heading for the bathroom.
Grabbing the first box, I open it and read the instructions. A million grasshoppers take off in my stomach, fluttering with nerves. I take the cup off the counter that I use to swill after brushing my teeth. I rinse it out and dry it before pulling down my knickers to fill it. My hands shake as I urinate in the cup, nerves making me feel sick to the stomach.
Placing the cup on the counter, I wipe myself then pull up my knickers before washing my hands. Grabbing the stick, I hold it in the cup waiting for the little timer to start moving. I place it down on the side and wait.
Moving to sit on the edge of the tub I start to count down, distracting myself looking anywhere but on the counter. I look at my watch and see only half a minute has passed. My leg bounces as I try to distract myself from the time.
After a few minutes I pick up the test stick and turn it over. My heart plummets to my stomach as I read the one word I never thought I would, pregnant 2-3. Quickly opening the other boxes I repeat the process, hoping the first test is wrong. Almost instantly the lines appear.
Panic hits me like a freight train, my knees give way as I slump to the floor unable to process what’s happening to me. It’s not possible. They said it wouldn’t happen, it couldn’t happen.
Now I’m pregnant with the Demon's child.
My hand rests against my stomach as I rub my belly, tears streaming down my face, as I try to make sense of everything that had happened the last month. Everything I had planned had changed. This little peanut growing inside of me makes everything different.
My head whirls with all the possibilities of what this can mean, then I remember what Damon had told me after things got hot in the kitchen.
I don’t want kids. I’ve never wanted them. I’m not dad material. I was shocked at the time but then I had time to think on it and I had agreed. I believed him to be something he’s not, or maybe he is after last night’s behaviour. Even though I thought I couldn’t have babies, I still didn’t want them anyway.
This would be my only family. This baby is part of me. That changes everything. I don’t think I could give away one of my own family members. This baby was meant to happen. I have to believe that. Now I don’t know what I am going to do, I want this baby, more than I have wanted anything in my life. Right now in this moment nothing else matters.
Standing up I strip off my underwear, throwing them into the wash basket. I turn on and step into the shower and instantly the hot water soothes my aching muscles. I let the tears flow.
Washing off I get dry and climb into my pyjamas. Looking at the clock it’s only 5pm but I don’t care, I feel like I just need to sleep everything away. I’m exhausted and emotionally drained. I will think about what I’m going to do tomorrow.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
June 10th 2014
It has been a couple of days since I last spoke to, and saw Damon. He’s usually gone before I wake and not back until I’ve already fallen asleep. The hormones in my body make taking the distance hard. I’m more confused now than ever. My stupid emotions are running high, the slightest thing makes me want to cry. The hardest part is being alone all the time.
The distance has helped me to think clearly, I see why I was doing this, why I had to do this. I can’t let any feelings I gained over the last few weeks sway me from what I am here to do. Damon clearly doesn’t want me here now. He’s avoiding me, avoiding being home, so he doesn’t have to deal with me.
I really thought we could build something together. I really thought I could let go of the past but finding out I’m carrying his baby, a baby that shouldn’t be able to live in the first place, has helped put things in perspective.
I move to the living room to do a yoga workout DVD. I’m too stressed, I need to relax. I insert the DVD and move to lie flat on the floor. I face the ceiling and take a few deep breaths to relax my body.
Damon was an arse the other night. He ignores me just because I spoke to Tom. Jealousy definitely doesn’t suit him. Spending his night showering Leona with his attention instead of me as some sort of punishment was pathetic. It didn’t work. All it did was make me realise how immature he is. How he acts when he doesn’t get his own way. He doesn’t want children and he definitely isn’t acting his age and not ready for a surprise baby. He is not ready for this.
Hell, I’m not sure I’m ready for this.
I put my hand on my flat stomach. But who am I to take a life? This jellybean has a heartbeat now. It’s a living thing. It’s part of me. Part of Lydia and dad in a way. It would mean I would never be alone again. I would have family again. I have a family. Tears fill my eyes. This jellybean is my family now.
I shift position accordingly, lost in my thoughts. How could I even think about abortion? I would never be able to do that. Having PCOS meant I never really considered being in this situation.
The front door opening breaks me out of my thoughts. I’m in the upside down dog pose and I freeze. My head turns towards the door while I wait to see if Damon comes looking for me. I hear mumbled voices but can’t tell whose. I strain my ear to listen harder but it doesn’t help.
After a few minutes when I no longer hear them, I switch off the TV and head towards the kitchen to get a drink. I have only walked a couple of steps when I hear the voices coming from Damon's office.
Turning in that direction, I walk as quietly as I can towards the door which has been left slightly ajar. As I get closer I recognise the voices as Damon and his brother, Spencer.
Spencer is asking Damon a question that I can’t quite fully hear, Damon's smooth voice floats to my ears, “No, we are not together,” he pauses “Me and Ella, it’s.... complicated.” He sighs. I’m about to turn around and leave when I hear Spencer speak up.
“Why is it complicated? You’re either together or you’re not. And if you’re not, well I wouldn’t mind...” He leaves his sentence hanging.
“Stay the fuck away from her. She may not be mine, but she sure as fuck ain’t ever gonna be yours,” Damon replies, his voice sounding livid. Deathly calm. Silence descends. I hold my breath.
My heart rate picks up, I need to move from the door. If one of them storms out I’m going to be caught listening in.
“Lose the smirk,” Damon says irritably.
I try to turn as quietly as possible and trip. I stumble forward, trying to regain my balance only to face plant into the door.
I fall to my hands and knees just past the threshold of Damon’s office door. I take a deep breath before looking up to find two sets of eyes staring down at me in surprise.
“Oh my God. I’m sorry... I’m so sorry,” I stutter. “I heard voices so I came to see who it was, but I tripped.” My cheeks blaze with embarrassment. “I’m... Sorry,” I finish, lamely.
Neither Damon nor Spencer speaks as I ramble on. I rest back on my heels to look at them, only to realise why they haven’t replied. They have the perfect view of my tits, bouncing, in my tight sports bra as I animatedly apologised.
I jump to my feet taking a moment to compose myself. Walking over to Spencer, I press up against him while bending down to give him a kiss on the cheek, refusing to meet Damon's eyes. I bring out my inner sultry side and only focus on Spence.
“Spencer, it’s so good to see you.” I give him a seductive smile. “Why didn’t you call? I thought we were going to.... make plans?” I had to stifle a laugh as heat rose in Spencer's face, painting his cheeks pink.
“Erm, yeah. Sorry. I...” he stammers. “I meant to call but...” he trails off as he was looking frantically between me and Damon. I know I’m putting him on the spot. I feel a slight twinge of guilt before I shake it off.
I cross my arms over my chest which causes my breasts to push together and nearly pop completely out of my bra. “But what, Spencer?” I wait a second before speaking again. “Do you no
t want to... have dinner... with me?” I run my fingernail down his arm, from shoulder to wrist and give him a sweet smile. His eyes light up with merriment before flashing to Damon.
I still haven’t looked at Damon but I can feel his eyes boring into my back, his rage, rolling off him in waves, so palpable I can feel it in the tension surrounding us.
Good. He is jealous.
“Ok Ella,” Spencer’s voice is filled with mirth. “Would you like to go to dinner with me?” I force a smile to my lips before replying.
“See, that wasn’t so hard now was it? Of course I would love to go to dinner with you. How does tonight sound?” Spencer nodded his head ‘Perfect, why don’t you pick me up at seven thirty?’
Spencer agrees with a nod, a grin plastered on his face. I turn on my heel ready to leave the room. I felt elated that I am getting back on track, but then I see the look on Damon's face. The look of pain in his eyes is almost enough to make me double over in pain myself.
I want to run to him wrap him in my arms and tell him everything will be okay. I want to take back what I’ve just done but then I remember I had caused that look in his eyes, and I had done it for a reason and I wasn’t giving up now.
I practically ran out of the room, desperate to get away from his hurt. When I am outside the office I lean up against the wall trying to steady my breath.
“Why the fuck did you agree to that? What the fuck are you playing at?” Damon yells. “You’re my fucking brother. You know how I feel about her. Cancel it, Spencer. Now.” Damon’s voice finishes deathly quiet.
“No Damon, I won’t. You have made it clear that you and Ella are just friends. I’m gonna take the chance on her... unless you give me a good enough reason why I shouldn’t?” There is nothing but silence that follows. Minutes go by when I hear Spencer speak again. “That’s what I thought Damon.”
I hear footfalls walking towards the door so I hide around the corner, waiting, as Spencer walks to the door. He pauses, “Maybe it’s time to get your head out your arse, brother, or someone may actually swoop in and steal her right from under your nose. She is worth it. Don’t fuck it up.” With that he shuts Damon’s office door and leaves. When I hear the front door slam I let out the breath I had been holding.
Corrupted (Manipulation Trilogy #1) Page 14
