All of a sudden I hear a loud crash, as something, sounding like glass, hits the wall in Damon's office followed by a roar. The sounds break my heart. He sounds broken.
I thought this is what I’ve wanted but I feel no happiness in hurting him.
****
April 9th 2011
I met Spencer today. He’s an arse. Acting like he’s a god in front of his mates. Taking the piss out of me when I said I’m Damon’s girlfriend. Yeah well I’ll prove him wrong.
Damon will have to drop Leona out his life when we get married. No way am I having that bitch around. She likes to think Damon is hers but he’s not. He’s MINE!
Spencer will need an attitude adjustment too if he thinks he can treat me like shit. I’ll be his sister in law soon. He better get used to me or he’ll be out too!!
I don’t know why Lydia thought Spencer was an arsehole. I like him. He’s nice. I put the diary away and get ready for our business dinner.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
This isn’t a date. I know Spencer picked up on my plan. This is a business dinner. Damon needs a kick in the arse and I’m hoping this will be it. We can kill two toads with one stone. Both are unpleasant.
I’ve heard Damon slamming things downstairs all evening. Today is the first time I’ve seen him in a few days and it looks like tonight will be the time to talk. I know he’s waiting down there for me.
It’s a quarter after seven, I’m dressed and ready to go. I’ve not dressed up. This is casual business. If I’m honest I’ve dressed casual because I don’t want Damon to think I’m dressing up for his brother. I just want him to admit he was wrong.
Wearing black trousers paired with a white and black spotted blouse finished with black heels makes me look professional. I’ve done my hair in a side fishtail plait and added a splash of makeup.
It’s time to face the music, or Damon, in my case. If he can say sorry I’ll let him know exactly what the dinner with Spence is tonight. I just want him to see that he can’t play those games. I know I’m playing the exact same game, but mine is to make him see it can’t be like that.
Making my way downstairs I check I have my phone in my bag, not watching where I’m going, and run smack bang into a wall of muscle. Damon’s hands grasp my waist to steady me. He doesn’t let go even as I step back.
“Don’t go, Ella. Stay with me,” Damon says looking disheveled. His suit jacket is undone, his shirt untucked slightly, the purple tie around his neck is loosened, hair wild, eyes stressed. He looks a sexy rumpled mess. Damon’s hands come up to rest on my shoulders. “Don’t go, beauty. I fucked up.”
“What did you fuck up, Damon?”
“I should have come after you. Should have spoken to you sooner. I’m sorry that I didn’t. I’ve been so busy with work.” I stare at him in disbelief, my eyes wide.
“So you’re only sorry about me leaving the club? Not about how you acted. Not about how much of a prick you were?” I laugh at his audacity. Obviously he doesn’t get it. I shake my head before continuing. “Damon, you changed everything to a game Friday night.”
“Beauty, we both acted wrong that night. The way you spoke to Leona was uncalled for. She was only asking you questions and you bit her head off.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? Are you seriously that blind to her behaviour? She was goading you, Damon. She knew you were pissed about me dancing with Tom and she played on it. You fell right for it.”
“Ella,” he sighs, “you’re overreacting. That wasn’t Leona’s purpose. She wouldn’t do that.”
“Are you so fucking blind that you don’t see it Damon? What she’s doing? What she’d been doing all night? She wants you.”
“It’s not like that with me and Leona. Not anymore.”
“Are you sure about that?” I snap.
“She means nothing to me, Ella. Nothing. Is that what you want to hear?”
“Whatever, Damon.” I step around him and walk away. He needs more time for things to sink in. It won’t be like that if we’re going to be together. He’s not acting nearly mature enough to be in a committed relationship, let alone be a father. I really need to think things through. I have my baby to put first now.
“Don’t go, beauty. Let me keep you,” he calls after me. My step falters, my breath hitching before I regain my balance. “We won’t be able to come back from this.” I don’t reply to him. He needs to see things for what they are. I won’t let him punish me for something I haven’t done.
I leave the house, shutting the door quietly behind me. I’d rather meet Spencer at the gates than wait another minute with Damon. He makes me so mad. How can he be so clueless? Especially when it comes to Leona, her friends, and all their true love bullshit.
I walk the long driveway. Just as I near them the sound of the gates opening brings my head up. Spencer is parked at the gates, but spotting me he sits waiting. I make my way to his car and slip in the passenger seat.
“Damon’s not taking this well,” Spencer says. It’s not a question it’s a statement. He knows his brother well.
“No. He just doesn’t get it. He’s only sorry that I left the club, not what happened in the club. I’m not going to be punished for something I haven’t done.”
“Punished?” Spencer frowns.
“Maybe that’s the wrong word. All I know is Damon ran off to save Leona, as usual. I danced with Tom, got accosted by Sharn on Leona’s behalf. Leona was being her lovely charming self and goading Damon, he took the bait and ignored me. Then when I decide to stand up for myself I get a growl off Damon to top it off.” Spencer’s eyes are wide when I finish my mini rant.
“Fuck,” he mutters more to himself than me.
“Fuck, indeed.”
“I’m sorry, Els. That couldn’t have been nice.” He looks at me in the eyes. “You know he really likes you right?”
“He has a funny way of showing it,” I grumble.
“Ella, how much of the past has Damon told you?” The question is so unexpected that my head whips around to focus on Spencer. I’ve read what I can about Damon but he’s a very private person and I know, I know, he has a past I haven’t yet uncovered.
“Nothing.” I let out a sigh. “He said he would talk he just needed time. I’m beginning to realise he has more baggage then I thought.”
“No shit,” he says so quietly that I’m not sure I was meant to hear him. “Listen, Ella. Damon has had some... bad shit... happen to him. Shit he blames himself over. Shit he holds on to. You’re the first person I’ve seen Damon start to let in.”
“Am I? I’m sure Leona is already up there, Spencer. I’m not into sharing and I sure as shit won’t take the hate spouted from her mouth. Maybe it’s just best to end things now before it all becomes too complicated.” As I say the words I realise I mean them. Maybe it is time to just forget the past, move on with my baby and start living before it becomes even more complicated. Tears fill my eyes. Stupid hormones.
“No,” Spencer all but shouts. “Ella, Damon needs you. Seeing him with you makes me see my brother Damon. Not the businessman Damon, or the weighed down with baggage Damon. I see my brother again. I’m not the only one who’s noticed it, Els. We all have. You bring him back to himself. You’re good for him.” My brimming eyes overflow, my tears falling down my cheeks. “Shit, sorry, Els. I’m not doing to good am I?”
Spencer pulls me towards him to hold me across the gearstick. I take a deep breath to gather myself. Pulling back I wipe my eyes and give him a watery smile. I am so not being professional right now. “Can we drop this subject now?”
“Yes. Okay. Sure... let’s go grab a bite to eat and a drink and we’ll talk business.” He throws me a wink causing me to laugh. “Good job I cottoned on. At first I thought Damon was going to climb over the desk to maul me. This should be a good kick up the arse.” His face turns sombre. “Just stick by him Ella. I promise he’s worth it. I haven’t seen my real brother in a long time. It’s sure nice to see him resurfacin
g. Just don’t give up on him yet.” He gives me a soft smile before pulling out onto the road and driving us away from Damon’s house.
****
I can’t remember the last time I laughed this much. Spencer’s banter is all part of his charm. He is a breath of fresh air. My ribs and cheeks hurt from laughing so much. We decided to eat at Tony’s. It’s a local pub with a friendly atmosphere.
Not being able to drink I went for a lemonade when Spence ordered a beer for himself. He looked at me for a minute longer than necessary, questions swirling in his eyes. I make an excuse up that I want to be clear headed to speak with Damon when we leave. That seemed to appease him a little.
It also led to a whole conversation about explaining what happened at the club, speaking to Damon about Leona, and giving Damon a chance. Spencer loves his brother. That’s easy to see in the way he speaks of Damon.
The conversation also makes me realise that Damon and I can work things out. We can get past this and have a future together. I will have a lot of explaining to do. I can’t expect Damon to tell me his past if I can’t tell him mine. I just hope it’s not bad enough that Damon will decide I’m not worth it. I’d prefer to not tell him everything I’ve done in the past but I know I’ll have to eventually.
“So, party planning. Damon mentioned that you’ve done it before and would know the ins and outs of what I’d need to look into?” My mind goes into party planning mode. I’ve always loved organising things and party planning is the best type of planning in my opinion.
“Yes. Your idea is great, Spencer, but it will take a lot to change a whole hotel for each individual party. Investing in items for themes that will be common would be wise but for the stranger requests you’d have to offer quotes. Some requests will be hard to organise, and quoting would be your only option. It will cost a lot to do what you want but it’s not impossible with the right people and money behind you.”
“Money is not an issue but finding the right people is. I’m hoping I’ve found one already?” he looks hopefully at me. I laugh. With a baby on the way I know I wouldn’t be able to help him too much in the long run but I could assist him in finding the right people.
“Spence, I think this is great what you’re proposing but me alone isn’t going to make your vision a reality. Plus I’m not sure how wise it is to be jumping into something like this when things with Damon and I are so up in the air.”
He waves my comment away with a flick of his wrist. “You and Damon will be all good. Everything will work out. I need someone who knows what they’re doing and can get it done. Someone who can tell me that what I’m planning will work. Do you think it’s possible?” I think for a minute before giving him my honest answer.
“I think putting together some packages at the beginning would be your best bet. If options are there already you’ll more than likely sway people in the direction of doable events rather than the option of whatever they want. You could always move further into offering them whatever they want once you’ve got this venture up and running. I definitely think it’s doable, Spence.”
“Good. We’ll talk more at a later date. You ready to head back?” I nod suddenly feeling nervous. I want Damon. That’s not an issue. I know I do but I’m not sure how we’re going to be able to get round all our baggage. Plus I’m not sure how he’s going to take the issue of me being pregnant when he claims to not want children. “Everything will be ok, Ella,” Spencer says before getting out of the booth. He helps me stand, ever the gentleman, before we make our way out to his car.
“I hope so,” I tell him and I really do hope so. This might be my only chance to ever find a family of my own. Spencer gives me a smile and squeeze to the shoulder but doesn’t say anything.
Seating ourselves in the car I ask Spencer if he’ll be able to drop me off at my apartment instead. I want to get my car in case Damon needs some time to let the things I’m going to tell him sink in. Spencer agrees to drive me there but said he’ll follow behind me back to Damon’s to make sure I make it back safe. I want to argue with him but I know there will be no use.
“Damon deserves happiness, Ella, and I think he’ll make you happy too. I think you can both find happiness together. Damon is out of practise when it comes to relationships so he’s got a lot to learn. Just be patient with him.” I smile but remain silent, lost in thoughts of what Damon and I need to speak about.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
I pull up to Damon’s gates feeling happy. Spencer was right. I do need to stay with Damon for happiness. I know we have things to discuss and I have to tell him everything. He deserves to know. I just hope he hears me out fully before deciding I’m not worth it.
I wave bye to Spencer before entering the code and watch as the electronic gates swiftly open. I drive through and make my way to his house, parking in front rather than the garage. I really hope Damon can forgive me. I’ve done a lot of bad things, really bad things. I need him to know everything before I can try and start my life with him. I want a life with him. Him and our baby.
My hand settles on my stomach. I hope he can accept our baby. I know he said he doesn’t want children but I’m hoping he will have a change of heart once he realises he’s created one. It’s part of him.
I take a deep breath and climb out of the car. This is going to be hard. I’ve only ever told Tom what I’ve been doing since Lydia took her own life. He didn’t take it too well. Hell, I haven’t even told Damon who I really am, Who Lydia was. I just hope Damon takes it differently than Tom. Allow me to explain.
I get out and stretch before making my way around the car and towards the right entrance. Movement through the floor to roof window catches my eye. I stop. My breathing stops. My heart stops. My world stops. Damon is on the stairs.
Kissing Leona.
Her body is wrapped around his naked torso like she’s trying to fucking climb him. I want to rush in there and claw her eyes out. I want to beat Damon. I want to scream at him. But I don’t. I can’t.
I stand frozen to the spot. I can’t watch. I don’t want to see any more. I’ve just lost the only man I’ve fallen in love with. I’ve only ever loved one other man in my life. My dad. Pops, as I called him. Even he left me. He didn’t mean to. It wasn’t his fault. He was taken from me in an accident. The police said he’d fallen asleep at the wheel but I never once believed that. Pops was all about safety.
I shut my eyes to block out the view as tears begin falling. I loved my pops a lot. He was always concerned about my and Lydia’s safety. Mine especially. I think he thought I was a fragile little flower that needed taking care of. Lydia was the strong one. He didn’t need to know she was safe. He knew she would be.
How wrong was he? Lydia took her own life over a man, a man who I’ve fallen in love with. A man who is kissing another woman right now. A man whose baby I’m carrying.
My baby. A sob tears from my throat as my hand drops to my belly. My brain finally kicks in. I need to leave. I need to be as far away from this man as possible.
I open my eyes. Damon is looking right at me.
I quickly turn away, run to my car and get the hell out of there. Tears stream down my cheeks as I race towards the gates, my vision blurry. A glance in my rear-view mirror shows Damon standing in front of his house with his hands on top of his head. Watching me leave.
Of course. How could I have been so stupid? He did this on purpose. He wanted me to catch him. He knew I would be back. He could have had Leona anywhere he wanted but he chose to do it on the stairs. The first place you see when you walk in his house. He wanted me to see them.
I feel my heart breaking. I was finally ready to let my guard down with him, to fully give us a chance. Finally ready to leave the past behind. The pain in my chest causes me to pull the car over to the side of the road. I can’t breathe, the sobs wracking my body make it difficult to catch my breath.
Damon hurt me more that I knew he could. Playing games for my sister’s revenge made me susceptible to
his charms. I wasn’t as prepared as I am now. I know how much Damon can hurt me now so I can block my emotions to him. I need to go into this for my revenge now.
I learnt all there was to learn about Damon but I didn’t know who he was. I didn’t know his emotions. The man I got to know is different to the man I read and researched. The way he reacts in a mood is exactly the man I learnt about.
He used Leona as a punishment for me because I was dancing with Tom. Then he called her to get me back for going to dinner with his brother. His family for god’s sake. He chose to use a woman who obviously doesn’t like me just for an extra kick to my gut. What she doesn’t realise is she is on my list. I’ll get her. I’ll hurt her just like she hurt Lydia.
I can’t and won’t change for Damon. If he was just the man I got to know then I know we could work, but he’s not. He’s both. He hasn’t learnt anything from Lydia’s death and he needs to. He will.
I need to get this done and leave with my baby. Damon does not know what’s about to hit him. Lydia’s diary taught me a lot about who Damon is and I was blind to it all. He played me like he plays everyone. Like he played Lydia.
I pull the diary out of my bag and open on the breakup of Damon and Lydia. I read as the tears stream down my face.
APRIL 11th 2011
I’ve lost him. He fired me. Fucking FIRED ME!!
He said I’ve been acting unprofessionally. I have not. Okay maybe hitting his date at the event wasn’t a good idea but he was the one who brought her along just to make me jealous!!
Just to punish me.
He wasn’t too happy about me spending time with his mum but she likes me. We get along. I know she wants me with Damon.
Corrupted (Manipulation Trilogy #1) Page 15
