He’s done nothing but hurt me the last few weeks but the good times we have together make this pain worthwhile. I know I won’t get better than Damon. I don’t want better. I want Damon. Just Damon.
I think we can make up. I think he’ll take me back. I just need to get him to notice me again.
Damon is mine. He was made for me. I just need to be better. I need to be who he needs. I know he loves me. He told me he did but today he told me he’s never told me that. He did. When we were making love he told me.
I love you, baby. That’s what he said.
Fuck I love him. So much it hurts.
Why does he keep doing this? Why is he hurting me? I’ll show him what he’s missing. I’ll make him want me again.
I will be Lydia Hunt!!!! <3 <3
Mr and Mrs Damon Hunt.
I feel sick just reading the words. I drop the diary back on my bag and sob into my hands. My door suddenly swings open. Damon is standing there looking wild. He crowds his body into the small space, pulling my head against his chest. I struggle to free myself from his grasp but I don’t have any fight in me. I’m broken.
Weak.
Why? Why, when I’m finally ready? Why do I have to lose the only thing I’ve wanted for a long time?
“Ella. My God, Ella.” He strokes my hair. I grip his shirt, clinging to him. I don’t want to lose him. “I’m sorry. You weren’t meant to see that.” I stiffen in his arms. “Please, beauty. Come back to the house. We need to talk.”
I feel the blood in my veins turn to ice. My heart freezes over as I replay his words over in my head. You weren’t meant to see that.
It was all a game to him. I wasn’t meant to catch him. I wasn’t meant to see him with his true love. I thought I’d found mine but he belongs to someone else. Love sometimes isn’t enough. I believe that more now than ever before. My love wasn’t enough.
That’s the thing about love, you are guaranteed to get hurt in the end. Love never lasts. You always end up losing it, whether it’s falling out of love, death, or broken love.
I’ve felt lost love because of death. I never stop loving the ones I’ve lost but I no longer feel their love. They’re not here anymore. I lost their love. It’s hard to face, hard to feel, but you move on. It doesn’t get better but it gets easier. You can move on.
Falling out of love would be easy to move on. You no longer have those feelings, you’ve already moved on.
Broken love is the worst. The worst hurt. You don’t just lose the love, you lose faith and trust too. When it comes to broken love you still love that person. They’re still alive. You still have those feelings, you’re just left broken. You don’t move on.
I won’t get to fall out of love with Damon. He’s broken anything that could have been love between us. I haven’t just fallen out of love with him, I didn’t have the chance to. I’ve only just realised I could love him. I was falling in love with him.
I played his game and lost.
Just like Lydia did. I went in playing a game and still lost. I go numb, my mind blocking off the pain and emotions. I pull away and look at his beautiful, frightened face. He broke me.
“Beauty?” he whispers, hesitantly. “Come back home?”
Home. It’s not my home. It’s his. I nod my head not knowing what else to do. I feel so lost. So alone. Turning off my car and taking out the keys, Damon unbuckles me, scoops me into his arms to take me to his car. He places me in the passenger seat, buckles me in, kisses my forehead, and shuts the door before locking my car.
I stay silent, closing my eyes. I don’t speak as he drives us back to his house, as he carries me inside or when he settles me in his lap on the sofa. His hands come up to cup my face. “Look at me beauty.” I shake my head no. “Ella, look at me.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to look away, Damon holds my face steady.
“I don’t know what you saw but it’s not what you think, Ella,” he pauses and waits for me to look at him. “I called her to come over. I was pissed. I rang her back after ten minutes and told her not to bother. I couldn’t do it. She came anyway. About five minutes before I saw you. I told her to leave but she wouldn’t. She kissed me. I pushed her away.”
He called her to come over because he was pissed? Another game. It had to be. He wanted to hurt me and he’s succeeded. If he really asked her to leave why was she even in his house? It’s just lies.
“I love you, Ella.” My breath catches. It’s the first time he’s told me that. I would have believed him if I hadn’t saw what I did. “No other woman compares, I don’t want anyone else. I want you. Let me keep you, beauty.”
“You don’t love me.” My voice is void of emotion. I’m numb. “Someone who loves me won’t hurt me like you have. If you loved me you wouldn’t have called her in the first place.” I get up of his lap, putting the length of the room between us. “You always tell me what you think I want to hear. You never tell me the truth. You said you’d talk about your past but you haven’t. You said only hours ago that Leona means nothing to you but you call her? That’s not love. You don’t love me.”
I’ve lost everything in my life. I was completely alone. I had no one. He hasn’t lost anything. Not one damn thing. I’ve lost everything. I need to make him know what it feels like.
“I do. I love you, beauty. I fucking love you. I fucked up.” He pauses, his hands go to his hair, pulling it before he continues. “Let me show you. Let me prove I love you. I’ll prove it every day. Let me love you forever. Let me keep you.” The look in his eyes, the sound of his voice shows me he’s being truthful. He really does love me.
My heart races, my palms sweat. Damon has broken us. There will never be an us. Damon has made sure of that.
“Marry me, Ella.” I gasp, my stomach plummets. “I mean it, beauty. Marry me. I want to keep you forever. Let me.”
Holy shit, did he really just ask that? Dread spreads in my veins, as a blast of hope explodes within me. I can’t seriously marry him, can I? Confusion swims around my brain, making it hard to think clearly.
“Damon,” I choke out.
“I love you, beauty. Marry me. Please.”
I swallow past the mountain that has taken up place in my throat. My mind is a jumbled mess of questions. Is this a game to him? If he would have asked me this same question and he hadn’t have just been kissing Leona would I have said yes? Do I love him too much to break him? Can I ever trust him?
Doubt.
Confusion.
Hurt.
I could never trust him again. He’s hurt me more than I thought he ever could. I love him. The pain is very real. It hurts to think, to look at him, to think of him and Leona, to be near him.
“I can’t.” I shake my head, my mouth dry, my windpipe constricting. I walk to the kitchen to get a bottle of water and to put space between us.
What the fuck is happening? This is everything I needed when I started this game with Damon Hunt. I stopped playing that game. I was ready to put it behind me. Now he’s giving me what I wanted. I should do this. I have to do this. He broke Lydia, he broke me. I need to break him.
But I love him.
I didn’t think I did, I thought I was falling in love, falling hard but still, just falling.
I lean against the sink and hang my head. I need to think. If I’m even going to consider this it needs to be fast. My heart speeds up as I make my decision. I don’t have months to win this game. In just a few months I will need to get ready for my baby.
Damon’s arms slide around my waist to my stomach, his hands pulling me back into him. I clench my teeth together, disgusted by his touch. I didn’t protect Lydia. I didn’t protect myself. I have to protect my baby. I can do this.
I turn in his arms and look into his eyes, searching. I came into this for Lydia, never anticipating falling for him. He broke me. Broke us. If he loves me this should be easy.
“Marry me,” he whispers.
“Yes.”
His lips smash into mine. He kiss
es me roughly, groaning against my lips. I shut down. I won’t feel this. I won’t enjoy it. I’ll just be here. I’ll just give my body over. Damon strips us in record time, turning me and pushing me against the kitchen island.
It’s not long before he’s pounding into me. I don’t listen to his words, I block him out. My body is responding to his every thrust but my mind isn’t. I’m on fire but I refuse to do anything other than let my body feel.
His whispered words of love go unheard, his touch goes unfelt, my mind doesn’t acknowledge him. I come with a cry, Damon following close behind.
“I love you,” Damon rasps, kissing and nipping along my shoulder.
I started a game for justice for my sister. I didn’t know her pain, I didn’t feel it. I came into that game blind. I’m not now. I lost round one. I won’t lose again. I’m going to marry Damon. I’m going to take away his family, his friends, his house, his money, his businesses, his soul. I’m going to take everything and then I’m going to take more.
I’ve taken his heart, he broke mine. It’s time to play. Time to finish what I started.
I am going to break Damon Hunt.
WARPED
Book Two of the Manipulation Trilogy
Coming soon.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
Alicia Taylor is 28, lives in Derbyshire in the UK with her husband and two step-daughters.
Corrupted is her debut novel, which she co-wrote with Natalie Townson. This is book one in the Manipulation Trilogy.
Her love of reading led to blogging which led to this - dipping her toes in the Indie author pool.
Natalie Townson is 31, a mother of one beautiful little boy and lives in Gloucester in the UK with her husband.
Corrupted is her debut novel that is a book one of the Manipulation Trilogy, that she co-wrote with Alicia Taylor. She is currently working on book two of the series which is nearly completed.
Alicia’s Acknowledgements
This is tougher than I thought it would be. There are so many people to thank who have helped us along in this journey. First of all, to my Natty Noo Noo. Natalie, you've made this journey so much fun. Considering I've only known you for a little over a year and half is mind boggling. You're my sister from another mister! Thank you for joining me on this terrifying journey. Your excitement has been what has motivated me the most, although at times your excitement led you away from the storyline and I've had to pull the whip out to get you back!
My uncle Andrew, you got me what I needed to be able to follow my dreams. You will never know how thankful I am. My mum and pops, you've listened to me rattle on and on about this series and have encouraged me, even though no doubt I've chewed your ears off. Your belief in me makes me feel like I can achieve anything. Thank you. I love you both so much. My sister, Aimee, thank you for supporting me and listening to me when I've moaned about everything and anything to do with this series. I love you big little! My nephews, thank you for putting up with crazy Sab. You've heard me waffling on about this book even when I'm hugging and kissing the lives out of you. Love you to the moon and back!
Our beta readers, Emma Keating, Bec Sheldon, Joanne Swinney, Isa Jones, Lacy Almon, Author Amanda Lanclos and Author Bella Aurora - you ladies are absolute diamonds! You've read and reread bits, given us great feedback and put up with lots of nervousness from us. Thank you for all your support.
Becky McGraw, thank you for EVERYTHING! The cover designs are perfect, all the advice you've given us has been truly appreciated, you've made this journey so much more easier for us. You've helped us more than you could ever know. You are a gem!
Alison Higgins - your support and advice on this journey has been priceless. You've helped us immensely. Thank you.
Carolyn Shelly Depew from Write Right Edits - you are brilliant! The speed of which you got through our drafts of Corrupted was fabulous. Your input and advice has been amazing. Thank you for all you've done!
Lastly and by no means least, my husband and girlies - hubster, you've kept me hydrated and fed when I've been lost in everything Damon. Your love and support means everything to me. Thank you for putting up with my moods and lack of presence. Love you, Wallace ha!
Jaz and Teia - thank you for being the sunshine on a cloudy day. Your smiles brighten my spirits daily. Love you both.
To you, the readers - Thank you for taking a chance on us.
Natalie’s Acknowledgements
Wow where do I start? I have so many people who I wish to thank. Firstly, my writing partner in crime Alicia Taylor. Thank you so much for reining me in when I went off in my own world. I have loved writing this book with you, and I’m so happy you are my friend. The past year has been so great and I love that I can depend on you no matter what.
Becky McGraw, you are amazing. You have shown us so much and helped us through it all even when I started hyperventilating, you told me "Don't go all dramatic -- it's going to be fine!!" Thanks for being a great friend Becky, and for giving me all the help and guidance I needed. You will never know how much your friendship means to me.
Alison Chaffin-Higson thank you for all your help, advice and support that you have given us. You are amazing. Carolyn, our lovely editor over at Write Right Edits, thank you so much for all your work. I’m so glad you loved the book. It gives us even more confidence to put our work out there. Our lovely Beta Readers, Isa Jones, Lacy Almon, Joanne Swinney, Amanda Lanclos, Emma Keating and Author Belle Aurora thank you for all your advice and feedback. We are so glad you loved the book and are keen for the next
.
To all my family, I love you all so much. Mam & Dad you are the best parents in the world and I love you. Thank you for always being there for me whenever I have needed you. To my brothers Jason, Carl and Ashley, I couldn’t ask for better brothers. To my sisters-in-law, Catherine and Karen love you both. My Lovely mother in law, Eileen, I love that you share the same love of Westlife with me. Not only did you give me your son, you also give me the best night ever at the Westlife concert. You went to coolest mother in law ever!! Thank you for accepting me into your family and always making me feel at home. My brothers-in-law and your wives, Scott and Amy, Grant and Zoe and Mark, you are all so important to me and you are just as much my brothers and sisters as my own. Love you all so much (Scott stop plowing me with rose just because I’m funny when I’m drunk. I have to be professional now.)
My beautiful nieces and nephews, Kirri, Levi, Josh, Keshia, Morgan, Daisy, Sam, Charlie and baby Bobby you all make me one proud aunty. My best friend forever, Colette, I love you girlie and I miss you so much every day. Why did you leave me, come back! It’s a good job, I love Ben and will allow him to take you away to bigger and better things.
Lastly, to the two most important people in my world. My husband Ben, I love you so much, I will never love anyone the way that I love you. Thank you for being an amazing husband and father. My beautiful baby boy Joseph, you are my greatest achievement. As I watch you grow every day, I feel so proud. I love you baby.
I’m sorry if I have missed anyone. I promise I will get you in book two.
I hope you all enjoyed our book. Thank you for the support.
Corrupted (Manipulation Trilogy #1) Page 16
