Shadow of Hope: Book 4 - Shadow Series

by Barbara Goss

  “Gavin, please stop! Let me go!”

  He was nuzzling her neck and groping at her bosom. She felt physically ill. “Stop!” she yelled louder.

  Again she pushed on his chest. “Get away from me at once, Gavin!” And suddenly, he did—but not of his own volition—Miles had him by the back of his shirt, and he threw him against the rock wall, and hit him with a closed fist.

  Violet scrambled to get up. She felt humiliated. She was thankful for the rescue, but didn’t think she could face Miles. She ran from the cave and through the woods to the campsite. She’d ridden there with Gavin. How would she get home now? She sat down on the bench to collect herself.

  After a few minutes Miles slid onto the bench beside her. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes, I’m fine. I was so scared. I don’t know what got into him,” she said. “I did nothing to encourage him.”

  “Do you need a ride home?” he asked.

  “Yes, thank you,” she stood and followed him to his buggy. “Where’s Gavin?”

  “He’s still by the cave, nursing his black eye,” he said. “I don’t think I can work for the camp any longer after this.”

  As they prepared to get into the buggy, Gavin called to them.

  “Wait!” he called.

  Violet and Miles turned around to see Gavin walking swiftly toward them. His right eye was already starting to bruise.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I don’t know what came over me.” He looked at Violet. “When you fell and I caught you I accidently touched your…your bosom. It was an accident, but it did something to me. I apologize, sincerely. It will never happen again.”

  She saw Miles look from Gavin to her. He seemed to be waiting for her to answer, but she was speechless.

  “Please, I’m begging you to forgive me. Remember, I warned you. This is the reason I wouldn’t kiss you. It’s been a long time—I just can’t handle it,” Gavin said. “Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? Can we still be friends?”

  Violet wanted to tell him she never wanted to see him again, but she also felt a bit sorry for him. He did, indeed, have a problem, yet, she didn’t want any part of a relationship with him. But she had committed herself to the camp and the kids.

  “I do forgive you, but I need some space. Please. Miles will take me home,” she said.

  “I don’t want this to spoil the camp for the children,” he said. Gavin looked at Miles. “Will you continue to do the finances for the camp?”

  “I’m not sure I want to work with you,” Miles said.

  “I deserved that remark, and the punch in the face too, and I thank you for coming along when you did. I have this problem—but it’s a long story. Yes, please reconsider. The camp’s in one week. For the children, will you stay?”

  Miles looked at Violet. She nodded, so he said, “All right, but I only if you stay away from Violet.”

  “No, I can’t. We are a team. She did forgive me,” he said.

  Miles again looked at Violet again. She looked frightened, but nodded. “Just keep your problem under control.”

  Gavin nodded. “Thank you.”

  Miles helped Violet into his buggy. He tried to calm his inner turmoil at seeing McKenzie attacking her. Now that he had her in his buggy, how should he act? Like a long lost friend? He sighed to himself.

  He turned the buggy around and headed to Violet’s place. It was a long ride since they were half way to Salina. They rode mostly in silence. When they turned down Eden Road, Miles remembered all the times he’d come this way to see Caleb when he’d lived in this house. Caleb had always given him advice about how to go about winning Violet, because Caleb and Violet were close friends.

  “Say something, Miles,” Violet said. “Your silence is scaring me because I don’t know what you’re thinking.”

  “I’m thinking I don’t care for McKenzie, and if I were you, I’d steer clear of him. He isn’t the nicest man. I’m sure you can do better than him. We’re committed to this camp, but when it’s over, I think we should rid ourselves of his company.”

  “Oh, I will,” Violet said. “It’s for the kids that I’m staying with the camp.

  “You don’t think I did anything to lead him on do you?” she asked. “I didn’t.”

  “I would never think that, Violet.”

  “Gavin and I were friends and co-workers, but this changes everything. How can I work with him now? He did sort of warn me. He asked me to marry him, but he refused to even kiss me. So I asked him how he could want to marry me, when he hadn’t even kissed me yet. He said something about kissing being wrong, especially for a man who’d been married, and not been with a woman in a long time. Is that true, Miles?”

  “Absolutely not. He has a problem, maybe a mental illness, or something,” he said as he turned down the lane leading to Violet’s house.

  “Watch out for him,” Miles said as she alighted the buggy. “Go inside, and relax. I’ll keep my eye on him until this camp is over with.”

  “Tell me something, Miles,” she said. “How did you find us?”

  “I saw him heading for the beach with you, and I was curious as to why you’d go there with him. It’s highly improper for him to take you off alone like that,” he said. “I was surprised that you’d agreed to go with him, so I followed.”

  “Thank you, Miles. If you hadn’t come when you did, I’m afraid I’d have been ruined.”

  Miles saw tears running down her face. He felt torn inside—he craved to hug her and soothe her, but he couldn’t. She’d made herself clear that they were finished. She’d had enough "affection" for one day, anyway.

  “Take care,” he said, and turned his buggy around. She stood and watched him leave. He turned and waved.

  Chapter 8

  Jonas, Ivy and Zoe had a tearful reunion after Jonas returned home with her.

  “Tell us what happened, Zoe?” Ivy asked, wiping tears of joy from her eyes.

  Zoe told them the whole story of her capture and escape, with Jonas and Ivy interrupting only to sigh or gasp, in between.

  “Zoe, Mama and I are proud of you,” Jonas said. “You were brave and smart enough to figure out a way to escape.”

  Then Alfie came down the stairs. His eyes lit up when he saw Zoe and he ran to her and hugged her. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t watch out for you better.” He pulled away from her, and looked into her eyes and said, “I promise you, Zoe, I will never ever let anything like that happen to you, ever again.”

  “Breakfast, anyone?” Ivy said.

  “I’m starving,” Zoe said.

  Alfie held her hand and led her to the dining room.

  Before eating, they all bowed their heads in prayer. They thanked God for the food and for guiding Zoe back home to them.

  Violet had a lot on her mind to filter through. Should she discuss Gavin’s attack with her mother? No, her mother would forbid her to continue with the camp and she was looking forward to it. Word had gotten to them through Quinn that Zoe had been found and safely returned home, but Ivy would still be dealing with the trauma of the event. She decided that Rose was the only one in whom she could confide. Hadn’t she been courted by Quinn after he’d been married? She didn’t understand Gavin’s problem.

  Why did she suddenly feel uncomfortable with Peggy, and why was it so important to her that Miles not think she’d done something to cause Gavin’s attack? Why was Miles’s opinion still so important to her? Is it possible that she could feel this way, even if she just loved him as a friend?

  In the morning she’d set out to visit Rose, who now lived in Jonas’s first, modest house, but even the first homes built by the brothers were exceptionally lovely brick homes.

  In the morning, Violet sat in Iverson’s sitting room while a maid served her tea. Rose walked into the room from the stairway, carrying baby Joshua. Her hair wasn’t as neat as usual, and she still had her bathrobe on. She laid the baby in her sister’s arms.

  “Oh, Rose, he’s so beautif
ul!” Violet exclaimed.

  “Don’t let Quinn hear you say that!” Rose said.

  “Don’t let Quinn hear what?” he said, coming down the stairs. His hair was messed, and he was tucking his shirt into his pants. Violet wondered what they’d been up to.

  “She said Josh was beautiful,” Rose said, as she put her arms around her husband and kissed him.

  Violet blushed.

  “Joshua Hiram is not beautiful,” Quinn said. “He’s handsome.” He kissed Rose back, and Violet could see the simulated flames in their eyes when they looked at each other. Anyone could see the love they shared.

  It made Violet feel strange, like she was missing out on something. How silly, she’d had that with Miles and she’d thrown it away. At least he’d always looked at her that way, she wasn’t sure about her own look back at him.

  Violet gently rubbed Josh’s cheek. He was so precious, and felt so good in her arms. Was she craving one? She hoped not. She wished the baby would suddenly cry or wet on her or something—she didn’t want to crave a baby, no matter how good he felt against her breast. She was about to hand him back to Rose, when he stretched and opened his eyes. The brightest blue eyes opened and stared up at her, and Violet stroked the blond fuzz on his little head.

  “Why, hello,” Violet said to him. “I’m your Auntie Vi.” Josh stretched again, yawned, and then smiled.

  “He smiled at me!” Violet said. “Did you see that?”

  “Gas,” Quinn said, as he took the baby from her and handed him to the nanny. “Violet fed him about an hour ago.”

  “Quinn,” Rose gently scolded him. “It was a smile.”

  Rose and Quinn sat down. Violet hadn’t prepared to confide in them both, but then considering the nature of the problem, maybe Quinn’s input would be helpful.

  “I have a problem and I need to talk to someone,” Violet said.

  Quinn started to get up, but Violet stopped him. “Stay, Quinn. You might be more help with this problem than Rose.”

  Violet started her story. “I’ve been seeing Gavin, as you know, but there has never been any physical contact between us at all. He’s never even held my hand. He’s a very disciplined man. He never tells me about his feelings or thoughts. Mainly he just talks facts. In all the time I’ve known him, I still don’t know him.

  “I was attracted to him when I first saw him.” She turned to Rose, “He reminds me of our father, so much. Anyway, we shared dinners when he was in town, but he never stayed after dropping me off, or ever initiated any romantic contact, at all.

  “Then one night, I kissed his cheek to show my appreciation for the dinners and for allowing me to be on the camp team, and he acted very strange. He told me never to kiss him again, in a very controlled but tense voice.”

  Violet looked at Quinn. “Gavin said that some men may not be able to handle kissing without going further, especially a man who’s been married, and been without a woman for some time.”

  “Is that true, Quinn?”

  Quinn shook his head. “No, it definitely isn’t true. Most men have more control than that. A kiss on the cheek? Good grief!”

  “That’s not the whole story. We were at the campsite, and he asked me if I wanted to see the caves along the beach. I really did want to see them, so I let him lead me there. For the first time, he held my hand. I felt we’d finally gotten somewhere, romantically. Then, I had to go and trip. He caught me, and in doing so, accidently touched my…my breast.” She blushed at having to say that word in front of Quinn.

  Quinn simply nodded.

  ““I decided to ignore it, since it was accidental, but I could see it bothered him, and he looked like he was fighting a battle within himself. I thought it was embarrassment at having touched me, so I simply changed the subject, and asked where the caves were.

  “He pulled me into an opening in the rocks, and before my eyes could even adjust to the darkness, he had me in his arms and he was kissing me—I mean, really kissing me.

  “I’ve had some passionate kisses from Miles, many a time, but this was so intense and frenzied, it was scary. Then he groped me, pulled me down to the ground, and lay on top of me, still kissing me frantically, and still groping me everywhere, ignoring my shouts and cries.

  “I tried to push him off me, but he was too heavy. I pushed again and he flew into the air and before I knew it, Miles had him pressed against the cave wall and was punching him. I felt so humiliated, I ran back to the campsite, and later Miles brought me home.”

  “Oh!” Rose gasped. “Thank God for Miles!”

  “I’m sure Gavin would have ruined me if Miles hadn’t followed us and interceded.” Violet wiped the tears away that had rolled down her cheeks. Just retelling the story had brought the terror back for her.

  Violet waited for input from Quinn, but he sat for a few moments without speaking. Finally, he said, “This man has a serious problem, Violet. Stay away from him.”

  “What kind of problem, Quinn?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, some kind of control issue. I’ve heard about men like him,” he said. “Sometimes women have it too, and as far as I know, there isn’t a name for it in men, but in women, it’s called nymphomania.”

  “Rapist!” Rose exclaimed. “In men it’s called rapist, because that’s what would have happened to our Violet if Miles hadn’t rescued her.” Rose put her arm around Violet and hugged her.

  Quinn shock his head. “And now I hear my sister is dating Miles. How do you feel about that, Violet?”

  “I feel okay with it, Quinn. I broke off with him, and I can’t expect him not to move on, can I?”

  “I suppose.” Quinn stood. “Well, I have to get to the livery.” He started walking from the room, but turned and said, “Maybe Reverend Martin can help Gavin, if you could get him to confide in him. I hear he has studied human psychology.”

  “I didn’t know that,” Violet said. “I’ll try to suggest that to him.”

  “I’ll be right back,” Rose said, as she followed her husband from the room.

  “What’s wrong Quinn?” Rose asked.

  Quinn smiled. “You can always read me,” he hugged her.

  “Now, what’s bothering you?” she asked.

  “Two things. First, Violet is in danger around that man. He’s like a loose cannon, ready to go off. Secondly, I’m worried about Peggy.”

  “Why Peggy?”

  “I have a feeling she’s falling for Miles, and I fear Miles still loves Violet. Why would he follow her and McKenzie that day if he didn’t? Although, I’m glad he did. How could Miles shake the intense love he had for her so quickly? I wonder if he isn’t using Peggy to make Violet jealous, or something?”

  “I see. Do you want me to talk to Peggy?” Rose asked.

  “Maybe that would be a good idea,” he said. “C’mon here.” He kissed her and held her close. “I hate leaving my happy home and family to go off to work each day.”

  “And we miss you, so don’t tarry long and come home as soon as you can. I promised Joshua we’d wheel him to the park later. The weather’s going to be hot again today.”

  “You promised Joshua?” Quinn laughed. “We can’t break a promise to our baby. I’ll leave early today, shall I?”

  “Yes!” Rose said with enthusiasm. “Please do! Oh, and can you check and see that Grace is doing all right at my employment office?”

  Rose went back in to the sitting room, and sat beside Violet. “I have a few questions to ask you,” Rose said, patting her sister’s knee.

  “Are you sorry you broke your betrothal to Miles?”

  “It’s not that simple, Rose. I love Miles, but I didn’t feel ready to marry. Marriage is forever, and I didn’t feel I’d lived or experienced enough yet.”

  “Does it hurt to see him with Peggy?” Rose asked.

  Violet’s lips trembled. Rose wondered if it was due to her having had to relate her horrible experience with Gavin, or was it because she was sorry she’d broken it off with
Miles?

  Finally, Violet said, “Yes, it does bother me. A lot. I try to act like I don’t care, but it hurts, right here,” she pointed to her heart. “Remember when we were young, and I had that doll I thought was ugly and wouldn’t play with it?” Rose nodded. “As soon as you started playing with her then I wanted it back. I guess I’m just a mixed up person.”

  “I think we’re all like that, somewhat,” Rose said.

  “So, let me understand; you broke off with Miles because you wanted to experience more from life?” Rose asked. “I was seventeen when I married, and I experienced less from life than you, yet I don’t regret one moment of being married to Quinn.” Rose hugged herself. “I love being married to him. He’s the first sight I see in morning, and the last sight I see at night before falling asleep. Not only that, but together, our love made a miracle, a precious baby, who brings us even closer. It’s a feeling I could never even try to explain.” She looked at Violet sympathetically, “That’s all the life experience I need.”

  “I love teaching,” Violet said. “I even felt an attraction to Gavin, but you know what? I think the attraction was just that he reminded me of our father. I miss Father so much, Rose.” She wiped away a few tears, and continued, “Gavin has the same mannerisms, and expressions, but now, after what happened, I don't know how I ever thought he could have resembled our father.”

  “I saw him, and he looks nothing like our father. I think you were trying to replace someone in your life that can never be replaced, and shouldn’t be replaced. “

  Violet looked at her baby sister. “And I’m supposed to be the older sister, but you’re definitely the wiser one.” She laughed and hugged her. “I think you’re right about that, Rose.”