The Gate of Sorrows

by Miyuki Miyabe

  The end of October was also when they started referring to Mika Sonoi as “Mikarin.” Nicknames for girls that ended in -rin were common enough, but in this case the nickname was spiteful; rinrin was the sound a tiny bell made, and Mika was “like a tiny bell screaming for attention.”

  Kotaro in his wildest dreams couldn’t imagine Mika trying to get attention from anyone. If she had, she would’ve been very bad at it.

  I wouldn’t be surprised if someone—their advisor or senior members—warned them about the comments on the team page, thought Kotaro. Posting unsubstantiated complaints was the last thing that page was for. If they had a problem with Mika, the best thing to do was talk it out with her directly.

  Normally that would’ve been the correct advice, but it just added fuel to the fire. The attacks on Glitter Kitty’s page got more aggressive, and several girls started posting attacks on Mika on their own pages, as though they were trying to outdo each other. Kotaro had seen how much venom they’d been spewing when he looked over Kenji’s shoulder in the coffee shop.

  How in the world did Mika get sucked into this in the first place? Who was Gaku, and what was his relationship with Mika?

  Kotaro had had enough. Obviously he wasn’t going to get anywhere until he talked to Kazumi. But just because they were siblings living under the same roof, that didn’t mean getting information out of her was going to be easy.

  Kazumi hadn’t answered Kotaro’s mail. In fact, she acted like she’d never even gotten it. That too was a kind of answer, and it didn’t bode well.

  There was something that Kazumi didn’t want to talk about with her brother. They may have been siblings, but he was a college freshman, five years ahead of her in school, and Kazumi was crossing the line from little girl to young woman with the usual drama and fuss. She refused to let her clothes be washed with her brother’s and father’s. She used a separate toilet and washbasin. She had to be first into the bath. If Kotaro or Takayuki were careless enough to use the water first, she threw a fit. She would drain the water and scrub the tub so single-mindedly before filling it up again that Kotaro almost wanted to ask her if she thought men were genetically unclean. Takayuki was a bit messy at home, and if Kazumi discovered his shirt and socks on the sofa, she acted like she’d been exposed to a biological agent. If Takayuki used her drinking glass by accident, she never touched it again.

  Kazumi didn’t hate her father and brother. “She’s just going through a phase all girls go through,” said Asako. Kotaro was used to her hot buttons, but when he had something he needed to talk about, her sensitive antennae were a pain in the butt.

  It was four days before he found a chance to corner her. Coming home well after sundown after a long day of classes, he opened the front door to find Kazumi tugging on her sneakers.

  “Going somewhere?”

  “Convenience store.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  Her displeasure was all over her face. “What do you want? I’ll pick it up.”

  “I want to check it out myself.”

  He stood aside so she could go first, scowl and all. As soon as they started off he got to the point.

  “You blew off my mail.”

  Kazumi walked quickly ahead. The ends of her favorite checked muffler flapped in time with her stride.

  “You saw it, didn’t you?”

  “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Liar. You check your inbox fifty times a day.”

  She stopped suddenly. Kotaro almost walked right into her.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” She glared at Kotaro.

  “Really? I do. And I’m not the only one. Aunt Hanako is worried sick.”

  Aunt Hanako talked too much and was too excitable, and she dressed too young for her age. She had lots of quirks, but she’d always been very kind to Kotaro and Kazumi. Both of them had a weak spot for her.

  “Ko-chan, that’s cheating.” Kazumi’s shoulders slumped in defeat. She turned and kept walking, more slowly now. Haltingly, she began to tell the story.

  “So, you want to know about Mika? I know what’s going on.”

  Glitter Kitty and her pals had tried to keep their back-and-forth secret from Kazumi, but obviously they hadn’t succeeded.

  “Mika asked me to keep it a secret. She doesn’t want people worrying about her.”

  So the one being bullied ends up protecting her tormentors. Why am I not surprised?

  “Everything is Gaku’s fault.” Kazumi sounded bitter. “He’s so immature.”

  Immature? In middle school? Wow, that sounds unbelievable.

  “What’s he like? What’s his last name?”

  “Shimakawa. Gaku Shimakawa. Third year.”

  “I guess he’s pretty popular.”

  “Girls like him. Good looks, good at sports. His grades are good too.”

  Maybe he wasn’t Kazumi’s type, or maybe she started disliking him after the attacks on Mika started. It was hard to tell.

  “You know what kind of work I’m doing. I know what’s going on, just not as much as you do.” As Kotaro filled her in on how he’d discovered Mika’s problem, they walked right past the convenience store.

  “The school called her mother,” he added. Kazumi looked genuinely surprised.

  “You didn’t know?”

  “No, it’s news to me.”

  “Mika wouldn’t tell you, I guess. She wouldn’t want you to worry.”

  “But I mean, if her mother and the school know, they’ll do something, right?”

  “I hope so.” Kotaro put his hands in the pockets of his coat. “What happened at the end of October?”

  Kazumi sighed. “What day was it? The last Sunday. After practice. Gaku confessed to Mika. You know what I mean, right?”

  “Said he was in love with her? Asked her to be his girl?”

  “Right. He said he had to start studying for exams, and he wanted to get his feelings out in the open before then. But it was totally obvious that he liked her way before that.”

  “I read it on the site. She was his favorite.”

  “Mika was completely trapped. All he did was get her in trouble.”

  “She doesn’t like him?”

  “What are you talking about? She’s still a child.”

  And you’re only a year older.

  “So she blew him off?”

  “How could she? I said she was trapped.”

  “Trapped? How?”

  Kazumi wheeled on him, furious. “He didn’t tell her in private! He did it in front of the whole club! ‘I love you, Mika. I want to apologize to the club for not making it official till now.’ ”

  Kotaro was so surprised, he almost walked straight into a telephone pole. “What a jackass!”

  “You think? He didn’t consider her feelings or how she’d look.”

  Confessing his love got a load off Gaku’s chest. He never dreamed he might be making trouble for Mika. He took it for granted that she’d feel the same way. His confession would put all his ducks in a row: smooth exam prep, smooth dating.

  “Then he tells us he can’t come to practice anymore and wishes us luck. He hasn’t been back since.”

  And Mika was stranded in the club. Her enemies wasted no time turning on her.

  “How did she handle it? She doesn’t want to date him?”

  “You’re joking, right? Of course she doesn’t.”

  “Did she tell him?”

  “She wrote to him, she said. But I bet he didn’t believe her. He probably just thinks she’s shy. That’s Gaku. Everything goes his way. Plus he’s really selfish. Mika told me he wants them to start dating after he gets into high school. So right now nothing’s changed—for him.”

  Selfish indeed, and very smooth. He wasn’t the type to show off, but in the end he
would arrange everything to suit himself. A little prince.

  Kotaro pulled up short and looked at his sister. “Do you know who Glitter Kitty is?”

  Kazumi’s expression turned darker before she switched to poker face mode, which only made it more obvious.

  “You know, don’t you?” Kotaro said. Kazumi frowned.

  “Okay, that means Mika knows too. She knows who the ringleader of the bullies is. Am I wrong?”

  Kazumi just kept frowning. Kotaro wasn’t going to get an answer.

  “I won’t force you to tell me. But I think I’m going to tell her mother to get some advice from Kumar. They’re the pros when it comes to this kind of problem.”

  For a moment, Kazumi looked puzzled. Then she nodded. “I can never remember that name. It’s so weird.”

  “Hey, come on. There’s a reason they call it that.”

  Kotaro didn’t tell his sister that Kenji had given him the idea of having Mika’s mother consult Kumar. It wasn’t that he wanted her to think it was his idea, but he knew Mika and her mother would hate hearing that he’d been talking about her to someone they’d never met. They’d be upset enough when they found out Kotaro knew.

  “I don’t know how I can bring this up with Takako. I don’t know what the school’s told her either. But now that I know there’s a problem, I can’t pretend I don’t.”

  Kazumi said nothing.

  “If she says anything to you after I talk to her, tell her everything you know, even if there’s something you don’t want to tell me. At least do that for me.”

  “Okay.” Kazumi stopped and looked at her brother. “Just make sure you take care of this personally.”

  “Personally how?”

  “Don’t get Mom involved.”

  “Mom? I wasn’t planning to. I’ll talk to Takako myself. Why are you telling me this?”

  “She and Mom get along, but …” Kazumi looked like something was stuck in her throat and she wanted to spit it out.

  “She’s always trying to act big around Mom. I know maybe men don’t understand.” She turned and started for home. Kotaro stood stunned for a moment, then hurried after her.

  “Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You don’t need to know.”

  “Yes I do.”

  Kazumi sighed even as she hurried along. A gush of white vapor blew into the cold and trailed back toward Kotaro.

  “Mom’s a housewife. Takako got divorced. She’s a single mother. Maybe they’re friends, but it’s complicated.”

  “Complicated?”

  Kazumi’s voice was sharp with impatience. “Takako. Doesn’t. Want. To look. Weak. In front of. Mom. She doesn’t want anyone to think her being single means she can’t manage. It’s obvious that’s how she feels. That’s why I want you to keep this whole thing with Mika a secret from Mom. Get it now?”

  Kotaro was astonished. Do women really worry about such piddling stuff?

  “Okay, I get it.” Kotaro walked by his sister’s side. They’d ended up doing a circle of the neighborhood. When they could see the lights of home, Kotaro spoke again. “Don’t give Mom a hard time, okay?”

  “You don’t need to tell me that,” she snapped. “Stupid brother.”

  The next day, while Kotaro was having lunch in the cafeteria, his phone rang. It was Takako Sonoi. He hurried outside and found a quiet spot in the shade of the building.

  “Sorry to call you suddenly. Kazumi gave me your number.” Takako’s manner of speaking was clipped and efficient as usual. She didn’t sound worried about anything. “Kazumi sent me a mail last night. I hear Mika’s problems are causing trouble for you too.”

  Before Kotaro could find the right timing to reach out to Takako, his sister had taken it out of his hands. She’d certainly made sure that he started off on the wrong foot.

  “Um, no. Sorry to butt in.”

  “It’s perfectly all right. I appreciate it.”

  Takako laid out the situation without further ado. About a week before, she’d received a call from Mika’s homeroom teacher, who told her Mika was being attacked on an unofficial school website. Mika herself hadn’t said a thing about it.

  “I changed my schedule and saw the teacher right away. I’d already noticed Mika seemed a little down.”

  “I see.”

  “Her homeroom teacher—his name’s Soejima, he’s about my age—apologized and told me he’s not that familiar with the Internet, and he’s not very sensitive to the issues his girls get into conflicts about. He said he didn’t even know about the site until one of his students told him.”

  She must’ve told him so he’d do something to help Mika.

  “He was surprised to find out what was happening, so after he discussed it with the club advisor, he called me. He told me the bullying is only happening on the site. She’s not having any problems in class.”

  Kotaro didn’t believe that. The teachers just didn’t notice it, or everyone involved was doing a good job hiding it.

  “Did you talk to Mika about it?”

  “Yes, right after I got back from Aoba.”

  “What did she say?”

  “She knew about the site but she didn’t think it was anything to make a fuss about. She gave me a hard time for worrying about it, to be honest.”

  Right, because she doesn’t want you to worry about it.

  “She told me everything would die down naturally as long she doesn’t do anything. She doesn’t want to date this Gaku fellow. Anyway, he’s busy studying for exams, isn’t he? I mean, that’s that, don’t you think?”

  This sounded way too optimistic. Maybe Mika and Gaku weren’t a happening thing, but the girls on the team didn’t see it that way. They could make things a lot worse for Mika if it suited them.

  “I’m not really sure that’s the end of it, Mrs. Sonoi.”

  “You’re still in school too.” Takako laughed gently. “It makes sense you’d be sensitive to things that go on between students. So listen, Mika says she’s fine now. You don’t need to worry.”

  “But—”

  “I know the comments on the site are terrible, but it’s hard to tell how seriously they mean them. When I was young, we put our feelings in our diaries and that was the end of it. But kids today put their frustrations online. They haven’t figured out that everyone can see what they write.”

  She was right. Kotaro had witnessed this up close at Kumar. People were putting their personal feelings out there without understanding that the Internet is society, and that they were participants in that society.

  “If you believe the things teenage girls say to let off steam, and criticize them for it, it could make the situation worse,” Takako said.

  “Is that what their homeroom teacher says?”

  “Yes, but I feel the same way. We had a similar problem here at work. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with this sort of thing.”

  Okay. All right. But adults and kids are different. They react to things differently.

  “Mika goes off to school day after day in a great mood. She’s practicing hard too. True, she seemed kind of down for a bit, but that was when the comments were hot and heavy on the site. Things have quieted down.”

  If what I saw was the quiet version, what were things like when it was hot?

  “The comments still seem pretty bad to me.”

  “They are bad, aren’t they? Very vulgar. But it’s just teenage name-calling.”

  Takako, come on. Kotaro gripped his phone. You’re putting up a front.

  Kazumi had nailed it. Takako was trying to put herself in the best light, not just to his mother but before the whole Mishima family. Or maybe for Takako, the Mishima family was a symbol of something bigger called “society.”

  On the other hand, maybe Takako was actually frightened.
Maybe she was so scared that she was forcing herself to dismiss what was happening.

  “I hope you’ll let this drop. If Mika knows it’s not just Kazumi, but you who’re worried about her, she’ll feel so bad that she’ll probably hide under her desk.”

  “Well … if you’re asking me to do that, I’ll do it.”

  “Thank you.”

  Is that it? Was I just wasting my time? Then why can’t I breathe? Why do I feel so awful?

  “Mrs. Sonoi?”

  “Yes?”

  “Let me know if you need any help.”

  “Of course. I’ll do that.”

  “I’m hoping you won’t need to, but anyway.”

  “Um, sorry Ko-chan, my lunch break is over.”

  She ended the call. To Kotaro, it sounded like she was running away. Was she really that optimistic, or was she covering something up? Protecting her reputation or secretly scared?

  Let it go. Did that mean turn a blind eye?

  The call left a strange taste, as though Takako had blown bitter grains of sand into his mouth.

  He had the five to eleven shift at Kumar that night. Kaname stared as he took over from her.

  “What’s up? You look weird.”

  “How?”

  “Your eyebrows are practically touching.”

  Kotaro put a fingertip between his eyebrows and rubbed hard as he sat down.

  “The media came to see the president today.” Kaname ducked behind the monitor and whispered. The rule at Kumar was no chatting on patrol.

  “The media?”

  “A TV crew. They’ve been following Yamashina around for a month, for a TV show.”

  Kotaro hadn’t seen Kumar’s president on this latest visit to Tokyo, though it had started over a week ago.

  “What kind of show?”

  “It’s called Movers and Shakers. Ever see it? It’s on late. They do in-depth profiles. Yamashina’s going to be covered as one of Japan’s outstanding young company founders.”