His Rebellious Mate (Primarian Mates Book 3)

by Maddie Taylor

  He continued to stare at whatever he found fascinating outside. “The refurbishment of the Odyssey is almost complete. It leaves for the new colony at the end of the month. I told Roth the three of us will be on it.”

  She sat up, one concern with his plan. “Cierra won’t be eight weeks old yet. Do you think she’s too young to travel?”

  “Her doctor thinks it will be fine, and she plans to watch her closely during the journey to make certain.”

  “Juna is coming with us?”

  “Yes, in Ellar’s place. He is determined to see a med-bay set up on the base over anything else. Although, he is not pleased about missing the opportunity to care for our girl. I suspect it has something to do with research, both of them were discussing tracking her growth and marking milestones when I left them.”

  Disliking the sound all of that, dread for her daughter burned hot in her stomach. “What do you mean research? You mean like a lab rat?”

  He glanced her way, one black brow quirked in question.

  “It’s a rodent scientists use for experiments.”

  “Considering the circumstance, it’s expected they will want to follow her more closely than usual.” He shrugged. “If it means experts are available to her, then it suits me fine.”

  “I don’t want her becoming an oddity, that’s all.”

  He crossed to the sofa where she sat and crouched in front of her. “Not odd, Eryn. Special.” He took her hand in a firm, enveloping grip. “She is the first female Primarian born in a generation, and the first human-Primarian daughter ever. There are many people interested in her well-being. More will come along soon to help share the spotlight.”

  “I suppose you’re right, but I worry.”

  “As do I, but as her father, it’s my job to protect her, and I won’t let any harm come to her. And never would I allow Cierra to become an oddity or a lab rat. Got it?”

  “I got it.”

  “Good,” he murmured, giving her hands a squeeze then stood. “You’ve got two days to pack.”

  “What? I thought the Odyssey didn’t leave for a month?”

  “Juna and Ellar suggest we give Cierra time to adjust to ship life before we leave. Under their watchful eyes, of course.”

  “They are concerned.”

  “They are being cautious, nothing more. With the protests becoming more violent and the threats pouring in, I think it’s safer for you both onboard the Odyssey than here on base.”

  “Violence?” She sat up, hugging one of the dark-blue toss pillows. “I haven’t seen a news report since the attack. How bad is it?”

  His golden gaze tipped down to hers. “Word has gotten out about Cierra, and the news of an interspecies birth has stirred up the zealots.”

  “These threats, are they directed at her?”

  “Eryn…”

  “They are! Oh, my God! What sort of assholes threaten an infant?”

  Tossing the pillow aside, she surged to her feet and rushed across the room, searching for the vid-screen controller. Cramped quarters with only her and Lana, with a baby, all her paraphernalia, add a seven-foot-tall giant weighing in at 275 pounds, and the space had become like a sardine can. Locating the remote under a pile of new baby clothes, she keyed the code which lowered the screen from its recessed slot in the ceiling. She called up the twenty-four-hour news, but before she could hit enter, the control unit slid out of her fingers.

  “Hey!” When she spun to confront him, he stood so close, she had to tip her head back to glare up at him, looming a foot above her.

  “I’d prefer you not be upset, little rebel. The reports have been ugly.”

  “How ugly?”

  “The protestors have similar sentiments as your attackers. You don’t need those reminders.”

  She set her hands on her hips while gaping at him in disbelief. “Are you actually forbidding me from watching the news?”

  “Eryn. You were in a coma for two weeks, stayed in the hospital for another, and it’s been less than a fraction of a time-cycle since you returned home. You’re still recovering. Both your physics prescribed rest, which doesn’t include watching idiots waving hate-filled slogans on signs and setting things on fire. Once we move up to the ship and are on our way home, we’ll be around only those supportive of the alliance. Seeing news reports on issues which, in two days, will no longer affect you is a waste of time.”

  Unconvinced, her frown deepened. “I’m not a china doll to be wrapped in cotton. I’m feeling stronger and much like my old self.”

  “You can’t get through the day without taking as many naps as Cierra, a one-month-old infant. And as long as there is breath in me, you will both have protection.”

  “I’m a soldier. I can defend myself.”

  “No longer. With our impending departure, you’ve resigned your position. Your new job is to be my mate, mother to our child, and an Epic counselor. I will see to your defense.” Lifting his hand to her face, he traced a finger along her jaw. “I shouldn’t have to point out the attack happened in what constitutes your own backyard. You were vulnerable, and I won’t allow it to happen again.”

  Although he made a few valid points, she couldn’t keep from rolling her eyes at his old-fashioned “me big strong man, you weak defenseless woman” mentality.

  “I saw that, galita. Punishments are on hold for eight weeks while you recover from childbirth, but I have a good memory and am excellent with numbers.”

  “You wouldn’t,” she exclaimed.

  “You think not?” he challenged.

  “As a spank-happy Primarian, of course, you would.”

  “Count yourself fortunate to have been mated to a warrior who is patient and lenient with discipline while you learn our ways.”

  She snorted, remembering the times she’d been over his knee. None had seemed lenient to her.

  He caught her chin with his hand and angled her face up to his. “Is it wrong for me to want to keep you and our child safe?”

  “No,” she conceded, after a brief pause to consider all he’d said. “It is right in many ways.”

  “Then why are we arguing about this?”

  She shrugged. “Habit?”

  This time he eyed the ceiling. “Maker give me strength.”

  She squelched a laugh at his unusually animated expression. The exasperation didn’t detract from his handsomeness, however. Not one bit. “I think you speak to your Maker with a greater frequency since you met me.”

  “You have no fucking idea,” he muttered.

  This time she let her laughter free. Ram sounded like an Earth male more every day. In her amusement, she laid her hand on his chest. The simple touch sent a tingle of electricity passing between them. Her smiled faded. It was too soon for intimacy, and he hadn’t shown any interest, anyway. Not even kissing her, other than a brotherly peck on top of her head, a vast difference from when they’d first paired.

  The distance stung.

  Feeling suddenly awkward, she withdrew her hand and walked to the window. Like him, she gazed outside but, in her case, not seeing anything. In a hushed voice, she replied, “I’ll try to reduce your need to pray, Ram.”

  He moved in behind her, his hands catching both sides of her jaw and angling her head way back. He planted another less-than-amorous kiss on her forehead, while meeting her upside-down gaze.

  “It would be appreciated, mate. I’m sure He has other more important things to attend to.”

  While staring up at him, a current bounced back and forth between them. She wondered if he felt it, too. When she didn’t look away, holding his gaze, his gold eyes glinted with something, perhaps desire, just as Cierra’s hungry cries cut through the surrounding silence.

  “Our princess beckons,” he murmured, not letting her go yet.

  She noticed the sparkle had disappeared and only the warmth of his gaze remained. Although, that’s something, isn’t it?

  Upset she didn’t get the immediate gratification she demanded, her da
ughter’s cries increased several decibels.

  “Her sense of timing sucks,” Eryn muttered.

  Lips tipping into a half smile, he offered as he often did, “Do you want me to get her?”

  “No,” Eryn grumbled, her milk letting down, triggered by her daughter’s unabated squalling. “You don’t have the anatomy she’s interested in.”

  24

  A package sat on the floor outside their quarters when they returned from med-bay. Eight weeks old today, Cierra had her checkup after living aboard ship for the recommended thirty days. This meant Eryn’s final postpartum exam was today as well. Both physicians had given the go-ahead for the baby’s space travel, and Eryn had been released to resume all regular activities.

  This also meant their departure from Earth was imminent. She should have been relieved to be moving forward, but it left her feeling on edge.

  As they reached their door, Ram bent and scooped up the box.

  “Cierra Lockwood,” he said, reading the label aloud. “From one of your friends, I gather. You need to inform them you are a Lockwood no longer, and neither is my daughter.”

  “I’ll always be a Lockwood,” she replied, irritated by his order.

  “That is in your past. You are Primarian now and are of my line.” He waved his hand over the door sensor and, after it slid open, with his hand on her lower back, guided them in. Annoyed he so cavalierly expected her to cast off all she was leaving behind, rather than getting into it with him, she went straight to Cierra’s room and put her sleepy baby down for her nap.

  Her daughter yawned huge and squirmed for a few moments then settled in and dozed off. Eryn lingered, taking in every beautiful detail, noting how her cheeks had filled out more, and she didn’t have the newborn appearance any longer, and that her hair had grown, becoming thicker with a natural wave, another thing she’d inherited from her mama. She stroked the back of her finger down her soft cheek then left her in peace. When she returned to the main living area, her irritation came surging back.

  Ram stood at the vid-screen, reviewing correspondence, completely unaware of her irritation. Although she knew she shouldn’t, she picked up where they’d left off.

  “Just because we’re mates, doesn’t mean my past evaporated, or that Cierra doesn’t have a heritage from my side of her family.”

  “Agreed,” he replied, without turning. “Nonetheless, using your family name for our child is inappropriate.”

  “But you don’t have a last name. Won’t it be confusing when she goes to school and there are five Cierra’s in her class? How will they tell her apart?”

  “First, it’s doubtful there will be more than one Cierra in her class. It is an Earth name. Second, she will be known as Ramikin’s first born or as the Master Warrior’s daughter which won’t be confusing at all, since there is only one of me.”

  “Don’t women have any identity on Primaria?” she snapped, unable to temper her rising agitation.

  His head came around in surprise. “It is the same with sons. All children are identified by their father’s line. What has gotten you so stirred up? Don’t children on your world identify through their father, and an Earth female, through her mate?”

  “Cierra, the Master Warrior’s daughter is a mouthful, don’t you think? Wouldn’t a surname be easier?”

  With brows raised, he faced her head-on. “So, it’s all right if she took my last name, if I had one, but not my first or my title? Eryn, you’re not making sense.”

  It did sound like she was nitpicking.

  He approached and stroked both hands up her arms until they curled over her shoulders. “You’re tense. What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know.” Yet she did, no matter his promises of forgiveness, things remained strained between them.

  “Are you worried about the trip? About Cierra? Or is it starting over on a new world? Talk to me.”

  Given the opening, she didn’t take it, shaking her head instead.

  “If it’s this business with the council, I told you I’d take care of it, and clear the path back to Primaria for you. It may take a little time, but we have plenty to do on the new colony, so put it from your mind.”

  Ram had told her all about his conversation with the elder. Being suspect of detonating the mine and wanted for questioning was disturbing, but she’d made a full statement naming Lorkin and Odo as her contacts before leaving. Ram knew, as did Kerr, Trask, and the elders. It was all public knowledge and she had nothing more to add. With the inquiry going on galaxies away, she’d relegated it to a distant corner of her mind. Other more pressing matters weighed on her, like how to bridge the chasm between her and Ram, in the here and now.

  “I’ve told Mordrun,” he went on, when she didn’t respond, “and I’ll also tell Kerr, looking at you or any of your crew as being complicit with the mine explosion is ridiculous. You may have had motive, but lacked opportunity—”

  “It isn’t that. I mean, being thought capable of such a horrible act is appalling, truly…”

  “Then what is it, little rebel?”

  Uncertain how to breach the delicate subject, she put it off, again. “It’s nothing.”

  “Eryn, I can’t help allay your worries if you won’t confide in me.”

  She blew out a breath. “Fine. It’s not nothing, it’s everything. Because it’s all happening so fast. Not so long ago, I only worried about my next EPIC class and which recruits couldn’t climb the rope wall. Now I have a mate, a daughter, I’m wanted for questioning about a crime I didn’t commit, and I’m heading off across the galaxies to a whole new life, on an undeveloped planet with the barest of necessities.” Her gaze shot to his. “How much progress have they made? Is there electricity? Good God, what about plumbing? I hadn’t considered—”

  “Do you think I’d bring you and Cierra there if it didn’t?”

  Her shoulders slumped in relief, at least she could check one worry of her list.

  He drew her close. “This is why you were arguing with me about names?”

  She shrugged.

  He chuckled, which raised her hackles immediately.

  “We don’t use middle names, but I did so out of respect for your custom when you couldn’t. Be happy in choosing Cierra’s, I rejected your appalling suggestion.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Cierra Ramikin Lockwood?” Of course, he had seen her journal. “You didn’t honestly consider the name Ramikin for our girl? She is too beautiful to be saddled with a male name.”

  Recognizing the teasing hint in his voice, she wrinkled her nose. “It wasn’t my first choice, but I couldn’t come up with a better girl’s name with Ram in it.”

  The amusement faded from his face. “You were serious?”

  “Yes.”

  “Even before the tests proved she belonged to me?”

  She didn’t know how to answer. She’d been certain he couldn’t be the father, but it didn’t mean deep down she didn’t have a suspicion. Heaven knows Juna and Lana had planted the seeds of doubt. And she couldn’t rule out a subconscious yearning for her child to be his.

  “You knew all along and didn’t tell me.” His voice took on a hard edge.

  “No! I didn’t find out for certain the day of the attack, and I wasn’t an easy sell.”

  He frowned.

  “It means hard to convince.”

  “I know the expression, Eryn. But the notebook I found in your room looked old and tattered.”

  She dropped her gaze, and answered quietly. “They were scribblings, Ram, nothing more. And if you’d flipped back to the beginning, you’d have seen a bunch of other names. I truly believed the baby couldn’t be yours. The three tests I took on the flight home which were negative convinced me.”

  He studied her for a moment. “Who did you think the father was?”

  She stiffened. One of many subjects she’d hoped would never come up. They had much left unsaid between them, and these two topics merely scratch
ed the surface. “It doesn’t matter now.”

  His fingers tightened on her shoulders. “It does to me, mate. I asked a question.”

  “Why, when it has no bearing?”

  “My mate being intimate with another male has every bearing.”

  She lifted her gaze to his, knowing complete honesty in this touchy area mattered greatly. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. And I never believed we were mates. Other tests, ones done on your planet, by your physics, declared it impossible.”

  “Which has been disproved.”

  “Now, but at the time—”

  “Who was he, Eryn?” he demanded in a clipped hard voice.

  She closed her eyes against the anger blazing in his.

  “Did you have feelings for this man?” he persisted. “Love him, perhaps?”

  “No, he meant nothing. I made a stupid mistake. I was trying…”

  “Trying to what?”

  She shook her head while pulling away. He wouldn’t have it, however, and held fast, one arm sliding around her waist to keep her near. “Answer me.”

  Face-to-face with him, could she tell him the truth? What if he didn’t feel the same?

  “Eryn,” he growled with ebbing patience.

  “I thought someone else could erase your memory and make me forget you. It didn’t work. You still haunted my dreams. It turned out to be a painful mistake I regret to this day.”

  “Painful, how?”

  She gave him an annoyed look. “I bare my soul, and you want graphic details?”

  “Yes, did it burn when you coupled?”

  “Ram, please, this won’t help repair the rift between us.”

  “Did you feel scalded, the burning so intense you had a hard time extinguishing it?”

  It had. In fact, it burned horribly that night and into the next day, even after taking several oatmeal baths, she’d almost gone to the clinic. Afterward, she’d been tested, afraid he’d given her something bad.

  “The look on your face tells me it did. It was the mate bond at work.”

  “The what?”

  “Once the breaching is complete, a biocellular change takes place within both mates. This establishes the bond and triggers the transformation in the female. Sex with anyone except her mate will cause severe burning. It is the female body’s way of rejecting foreign seed, not to mention a strong inducement for fidelity.”