Black Tears

by Woods, Karen

  Francesca was sat in another room and she too was being asked awkward questions. The police hadn’t arrested either of them but the way they spoke to them made them think they knew more than they were telling. The same question was asked to Francesca. The policewoman asked what her relationship was with Tom and she too struggled to answer.

  “We live together that’s all. I had nowhere to live and Tom’s put me up till I’ve got myself sorted.” The officer looked at her for a bit longer than was necessary and carried on with some more questions. She asked where the father of the baby was, and Francesca nearly died of embarrassment when she told her he was in Strangeways doing a five-year sentence. The whole episode now seemed to be turning against Francesca and Tom and at that moment they knew they were the prime suspects even though the police hadn’t arrested them.

  *

  Jade took Rico from his pram and greeted him with a smiling face. He looked so cute and reminded her of her own son who was in care. Her own son was a lot older now, but she remembered him when he was a baby. Rico made a slight whinging noise when he was met with Jade’s ugly mush, but as soon as she started talking in a soft babyish voice, he started to smile. Jade searched the pram and found a black baby bag that contained two readymade bottles and several nappies. As she rooted more, she also found some baby notes for the health visitor and started to read them.

  “Oh so you’re called Rico,” she spoke as she read his notes. “You’re a lovely little fella, aren’t ya? It’s such a shame your mother is a dirty little slag isn’t it.” Her voice still remained soft as she spoke to him and he smiled at her. Jade knew she would have to keep Rico out of sight from all the neighbours and she’d already made up a story to tell Dawn regarding the new house mate. She decided she would tell her that an old friend was in serious trouble and needed to get away for a few days but couldn’t take Rico with her. So that’s how she had ended up with him. She knew Dawn’s head was up her arse these days and didn’t worry too much about what she would think. Jade played with Rico for hours and loved being a parent again. She missed her own children so much, but knew they would never come back to her. It had been years since they’d been taken from her and not once had she tried to turn her life round and prove she could be a good mother. Jade was laughing inside and knew the pain Francesca must be feeling inside, but she felt no remorse for her actions. She wanted her to feel pain just like she had when she’d lost Tom. She never thought about the trouble she would get into once the police found out she’d taken the baby, and to tell the truth she didn’t really give a fuck. She was living for the moment and decided she would cross that bridge when she came to it but for now she felt happier than she’d felt in years playing with the little baby sat in front of her.

  Dawn now joined them in the front room and asked who the baby belonged to. Jade’s story seemed to satisfy Dawn and no further questions were asked. Dawn was a mess and was secretly hoping to die as she couldn’t take life anymore. She popped pills all day long and she didn’t even know the names of some of them. Other smack heads had given her tablets to her to try to help her sleep. Jade knew her secret was safe and thought about how she would care for Rico in the future. She knew she needed clothes for him and she was desperate to get hold of some baby milk because she only had two bottles and that wouldn’t see her through until the next morning so she had to think of a plan before night time fell.

  *

  Francesca and Tom finished answering all the questions and were told to go home. A police woman was sent with them and she tried to keep them informed of any updates regarding their missing baby. The flat felt so empty once they entered it and Francesca couldn’t rest knowing her baby was still missing. All the scenarios ran through her mind and she sank her head into Tom’s chest and cried like a small child. Tom himself felt the pain and his head was about to explode with his thoughts. Rico had been a big part of his life since he had been born and he had treated him like his own son. He loved him with all his heart and would do anything to make him happy. Since he’d been born he had got up in the night with him and fed him his bottle and nursed him back to sleep and he really felt like he was the child’s father. Francesca couldn’t have wished for a better father figure for her son and sometimes wished he was Rico’s real father. Their own relationship was like a fairytale. They didn’t have a pot to piss in but they were rich in love. Tom would treat her like a princess and his day was planned around Francesca’s needs. They both loved each other dearly and had thought about telling Gordon the truth while he was still in prison, but decided they would wait until he was released and tell him then.

  Tom had shit himself at the thought of telling his brother that he loved Francesca. Gordon had always had this power over him that made him feel like a worthless piece of shit. But those were the days when he had been dependent on heroin and was scared to say anything to anyone. He had changed so much since then and now as the days went by he was gaining strength and the thought of facing Gordon didn’t seemed as scary as he first thought. He knew in his bones he would have to fight Gordon one day and he just prayed he came out on top.

  The officer made tea for everyone and they all sat around waiting for some news. Nobody had seen a thing up to now, and any leads were extinct. Somebody must have seen something, Tom thought. How could someone just push a pram away from the baby’s parents and not be seen by nobody, it just wasn’t possible…

  *

  Jade decided she had to go and get Rico some baby milk and nappies. Her only option was to put him inside her coat and hold him up where no one could see him. She decided she would go to a different shop where she wasn’t as well known and set off up Moston Lane to a corner shop that was out of the way. She didn’t have a lot of money and she hoped it would cover all the things she needed for the baby.

  Jade looked round the shop and found the baby milk. The shop was quiet and the shopkeeper was reading a magazine at the till. As quickly as she could, she shoved the baby milk in her large coat pocket and made her way to the nappies. The shop owner now looked up leaving his magazine open on the counter. He seemed to be watching her every move, and came from behind the counter and started to rummage about in the store. Jade picked up a packet of nappies and made her way to the till. She didn’t know if they were the right size, but anything was better than nothing. Rico now started to wriggle inside her coat and she knew she had to be quick before the shopkeeper became suspicious. She already had a five-pound note in her hand and quickly passed it to him. The man seemed to take forever in giving her the change and she thought at one stage he was going to ask what she had under her coat, but he remained silent and looked at her curiously as she left. As soon as she got out of the shop, she pulled Rico’s head to the top of her coat, and began to talk to him.

  “Hello little man, have you been asleep?” Rico’s eyes were wide open and he gazed at the night sky like he had never seen it before. Jade held him tightly and dipped her head as she spoke to him. As she walked, she saw a few lads who she knew from the estate and crossed the road before they got sight of her.

  Once she was safely in the house, she locked the front door and closed the threadbare curtains to keep away prying eyes. Dawn was upstairs fast asleep and she couldn’t see her coming down for the rest of the evening. She started to wash the two dirty bottles from earlier and started to make fresh ones as Rico rolled about on the kitchen floor. The kitchen floor was manky, and bits of food were scattered all over it. Jade didn’t pick any of it up; she just kicked it away from Rico’s reach. The bottles were made and it was now time to change his bum. It had been so long since she’d changed a baby that she had to gather her thoughts before she began.

  Rico wriggled about on the floor as she tried to change him and she had to put one hand on his stomach to stop him wriggling. As she took the nappy off, her face screwed up and she heaved at the sight in front of her. Rico had shit all up his back and his vest was completely covered in it. Jade panicked and knew she would ha
ve to take all his clothes off. The shit was everywhere and, as she pulled his vest over his head, she could see his fair hair was now caked in it as well.

  “Oh for fuck’s sake,” she moaned. She knew now she would have to bath him and carried him upstairs like she had a newspaper under her arm. As she rested on the toilet seat, she started to run the bath and cautiously held Rico away from her. The smell from his arse was rancid and she tried to hold her breath until the bath was ready.

  Rico lay flat on his back in the bath and kicked his legs as he lay in the water. Jade knelt at the side of him and hung her head into it as she splashed water all over him. The shit off his body had now been washed away and she scrubbed his vest ready to put it on the radiator. As she lifted him up he screamed from the top of his voice and at first she thought she’d hurt him, but as she watched him she realised it was because he had been taken from the bath.

  “Oh you little mard arse. You can’t stay in the bath, you have to get out.” Rico still cried as she wrapped the towel round him, and she tried doing a baby voice hoping to quieten him down but with no success. The clothes he had worn throughout the day were placed back on him and the bottle was shoved in his mouth to stop his moans. Jade cradled him in her arms and tried to comfort him, but she knew he was missing his mother and prepared herself for a sleepless night. Dawn had now got out of her bed and heard the crying. Her face was like thunder as she fronted Jade.

  “Hope that little brat’s not gonna be crying all night. I thought he was going fucking home?”

  Jade put her finger to her lips and hushed Dawn with a screwed up face. Rico had just closed his eyes and looked like he was going asleep and she didn’t want her disturbing him. Jade stood and moved towards his pram. It was an old style silver cross one, which he could lie flat out in. It had plenty of room for him to roll about in and he looked quite comfortable as she placed a small blue blanket over him.

  Jade had forgotten how tiring being a parent actually was, and she flaked out on the settee, just as Dawn let Neil in. Neil had been looking after Dawn since Phillip’s death and he was now a regular visitor at the house. He gave Dawn everything she needed, including sex. He would often come round with drugs for her and end up staying the night.

  Rico was restless all night and his screams echoed throughout the house. Dawn could be heard shouting from her bedroom to shut the little bastard up, and Jade finally lost her temper with him.

  “Right, shut the fuck up. You’ve had ya bottle. What else can I do for ya. I’ve done everything I can.” Rico was hysterical and she tried to rock him in her arms to calm him down. Her night was horrendous and she hardly had a wink’s sleep.

  By morning, she was like a corpse, and she knew the child had to go back. Her drugs were now calling her and she needed them more than any revenge she had planned to carry out on Francesca. She decided there and then that later in the day she would dump the baby outside some shops and get him back to his family as soon as possible.

  *

  Francesca’s eyes looked like she had peeled a thousand onions. She hadn’t slept a wink and she held Rico’s teddy in her arms all night long. Tom had been by her side and between them, they had smoked hundreds of cigs. The policewoman had stayed with them all night in case there was any news.

  Francesca’s mind had tortured her all night long, and she had imagined her child was dead somewhere freezing in a ditch. She had cleaned the flat a hundred times over and she knew if she stopped and sat down her nerves would take over and she would be hysterical once again.

  The police had informed Gordon of his child’s abduction and he had tried to get a day’s release to be with Francesca, but the authorities wouldn’t allow it due to his escape on his last court appearance. They had let him use the phone and he’d spoken to Francesca for some time. Francesca had been at the police station when she spoke to Gordon and her heart raced when she heard his furious voice at the other end of the phone.

  “Find my fucking son, you daft bitch. How can he have gone missing? Why weren’t you watching him? Tell ya what, if anything has happened to him there will be hell to pay.” Francesca froze as his screaming voice yelling down the phone and she dropped the receiver not able to cope with his threats. Tom now looked at her and held her as he picked up the phone. Gordon was still ranting as Tom began to speak.

  “Gordon, it’s Tom.” Gordon’s voice continued ranting and Tom couldn’t get a word in edgeways. All he could hear was Gordon shouting for him to put that daft slag back on the phone. His brother’s voice reminded him of times when he had also been at the end of his fury, and he passed the phone back to Francesca obeying his command. Tom closed his eyes and cringed at the hold his brother still held over him and he prayed for the day he could find the courage to face up to him. Francesca held the phone in her hand and could be heard sobbing. Gordon didn’t let up on her; he just told her bluntly that if anything happened to Rico he would hold her personally responsible. The police woman had witnessed Francesca’s tears and quickly took the phone from her hands. She spoke to Gordon in a calm voice and explained to him Francesca wasn’t to blame. I don’t know what he said to the police woman but within minutes she had hung up the phone on him and walked away muttering under her breath. The officer now came to Francesca and hugged her as she told her that she should ignore anything he had said. He had secretly scared the officer and she could tell he was a danger just by listening to his voice.

  Tom felt completely helpless, and he found it hard to show any emotion to Francesca. He had wanted to hold her in his arms and take away her pain, but the police watched his every move and he thought it best just to be supportive and not show any signs of their love. The abduction had been on the local news the previous evening and members of the press were outside the flats trying to get a story. Francesca prayed someone would come forward and tell them where her son was.

  The male officer walked into the flat and spoke to his colleague who had stayed with them all night. Apparently they had a phone call that they were chasing up. The phone call could have been nothing to do with her son’s abduction, but they were chasing it up any way. A woman had phoned the police and told of a child crying all through the night. She had been worried about the child’s safety and thought someone should call round to the address and check it was alright. The woman who’d made the phone call to the police had told them that her neighbours were smack heads and knew they didn’t have any children. She also told them that she heard the child being shouted at in a furious voice and would never forgive herself if anything had happened to the child, because she never reported it.

  The police woman sat down with Francesca and Tom and told them that they might have a lead. She told them it could be nothing, but in their hearts they prayed it was Rico, and hoped their nightmare was about to end.

  *

  Jade had managed to calm Rico down yet again and once she’d had her cup of tea, she’d decided she was dumping him outside a row of shops in Harpurhey. She needed drugs more than ever and she didn’t have a pot to piss in now. She hadn’t even been on the game the night before due to her kidnapping the baby and now she started to realise what a bad mistake she’d made. Dawn’s face was a sight. She didn’t have to say a word to let Jade know how she felt about the baby keeping her awake all-night and few words were spoke between them. They both jumped out of their skins when the knocking started at the door, and they looked at each other wondering who it could be. Neil sneaked down the stairs and was running round the room like a headless chicken.

  “It’s the fucking dibble. I’ve just looked through the window, and their round the fucking back as well. Fucking hell, I bet they want me.” Everyone was shocked and Neil walked up and down the front room shitting himself. He scanned his mind for what they could want him for and as he thought more about it he realised they had fuck all on him.

  “Fucking let them in. Let’s see what they want. I’ve got no warrants out on me, so fuck knows what they’re here for.”
Jade’s face was white with fear and she stood in front of Neil stopping him opening the living room door.

  “Fucking leave ‘em there. They might want any of us. We’ve all done shit so don’t take the chance.” Neil listened for a few minutes more and the sound of the knocking was getting louder and louder. At one point, he thought they had broken the door down. His face was cocky and he looked at Dawn for guidance.

  “Cheeky fuckers, who do they think they are, banging like that?” His face was red with anger and he moved Jade out of the way as he went to open the front door.

  As he opened it the police officer was on his radio and Neil looked at him like a piece of shit. The officer finished talking and began to give the reason for his visit.

  “Is this your house mate?” Neil now looked at him and placed his hand on the doorframe, before he answered.

  “Nar, it’s my girlfriend’s house. Why is there a problem?”

  The police officers who were watching the back of the house now came to join them and as they approached, Neil lost his bottle and shouted Dawn.

  “Dawn it’s the police they want you.” Dawn’s arse fell out and thought about doing a runner, but she knew she didn’t stand a chance and slowly went to speak to them. The policeman took one look at her and knew she was a druggie. He had seen the picture so many times before and he watched as she tried to pull her sleeves over her arms to cover her injecting marks.

  Her voice was low as she came to the door, and Neil stayed with her, eager to know what they wanted. Once they had confirmed she was the tenant they went ahead with a few questions. Jade held her ear to the door and tried to listen to what was being said, but struggled as Rico began to cry. She picked him up quickly and shoved his dummy in his mouth hoping to soothe him.

  The police asked Dawn whether she had any children, and once she answered no, they thought their visit had been wasted. They moved their questions to Neil as they knew he was an active thief and asked him several questions regarding incidents in the area. Neil laughed in their faces and told them he’d turned over a new leaf and was innocent of anything that had gone on. They looked at the bag of bones in front of them and knew he was lying through his teeth. The dibble were just about to walk away from the door when Rico started to scream from inside the house. Jade had placed her hand over his mouth, but there was no stopping him and he was now at full pelt.