The Darkest Frost: Vol 2 of a 2-part serial (TDF, #2)

by Tanya Holmes

  Maybe the Frost brothers had finally driven me insane.

  I gaped down at Xavier and touched the skin that seemed to grow cooler by the second. Seeing him lying there, lifeless and bloody, this crazy person who’d terrorized me, this maddening devil with Braeden’s face, was gut-wrenching. Tears poured out of me. Jeez, how many of the annoying things had I shed over these two impossible men? Now here I sat ugly crying over Xavier Frost, a man I despised.

  Yes, I despised him.

  Didn’t I?

  Didn’t I?

  Well, if I did, if I truly did, then why wouldn’t the tears stop?

  * * *

  XAVIER’S SAFEHOUSE/BUNKER

  FREDERICK, MARYLAND

  BRAEDEN

  ____________________________

  He was traveling in darkness at the speed of light and then the journey came to an abrupt end. He found himself in a familiar, yet unfamiliar place.

  Xavier’s body.

  Over seventy years ago it had been their spiritual home. Back then, the surrounding color had been the darkest of reds, but now it was light blue. Light enough to see Xavier’s spirit, which today looked like a gray sphere of restless energy. That he could see him this clearly indicated they were getting weaker. Soon it would be impossible for them to stay apart. It was a stunning new development.

  ‘I see you’ve been renovating,’ Braeden remarked.

  Xavier chuckled. ‘Don’t blame me. I found it like this. I kinda like it though.’

  Yes. Admittedly, it was quite…pleasant.

  ‘I didn’t expect your call so soon,’ Braeden said. ‘Are we there?’

  ‘At hospital? Nah. But everything’s set up. They’re just waiting for us.’

  ‘I have some bad news. The Elders burned my house to the ground. Everything’s gone. My research. Plants. Your books….’

  Xavier’s spirit darkened, his anger apparent. ‘Yeah. I know. Janette told me.’

  An awkward silence stretched, then…

  ‘Where are we?’ Braeden asked.

  ‘Still in my bunker.’

  ‘Then I have to go back. You know a permanent Join isn’t safe outside Torrance Hospital.’

  ‘That’s not what this is. I called you ‘cause I need your help. It’s D.’

  Fear slashed into Braeden. ‘What’s happened? Is she all right?’

  ‘Yeah, she’s fine. It’s just—man, she’s not taking this very well.’

  ‘Have you Sealed her yet?’ Braeden dreaded his answer. One part of him worried he hadn’t done it while the other…

  ‘No,’ Xavier told him. ‘I haven’t.’

  That Braeden was actually relieved made him feel ashamed. That he couldn’t hide it from Xavier made him feel even worse. Unlike his thoughts, his emotions were as clear as day. There was no hiding in here. But to Xavier’s credit, he said nothing, which was remarkable. In the past he would’ve berated him for it.

  ‘I need you to talk to her,’ Xavier continued, agitation heavy in his voice. ‘She thinks I’m lying.’

  ‘Of course she does. I should’ve anticipated this.’

  Truth to be told, he was dying to see her. Just to touch her again would give him the strength to endure the hard road ahead.

  ‘So,’ Xavier said. ‘How are you, brother?’

  ‘As well as can be expected. And yourself?’

  ‘I’ve been better. They treating you okay?’

  That he cared was surprising. ‘Yes. Everything seems to be falling into place.’

  It was awkward and bewildering, this meeting between them. The conversation was much like one between longtime enemies who’d buried the hatchet. Stilted. Strange, with both of them trying hard not to upset the applecart. That they were even striving for civility was a miracle.

  Braeden took in their gentle surroundings again. The turmoil that plagued them whenever they occupied the same body was absent. Where were the clouds? The bolts of lightning? The fury that screamed within their spirits.

  ‘Nothing’s happening,’ Braeden remarked in amazement.

  ‘I know. The rage is gone.’

  ‘No chill either.’

  Xavier just said, ‘Yeah.’

  ‘What about the burn?’ Braeden asked. ‘Do you feel any?’

  ‘It’s like I don’t remember it anymore.’

  That’s when it hit Braeden. Now he had tangible proof that something was happening within Xavier, something that had everything to do with Denieve.

  Braeden tried to tamp down his joy, but he couldn’t help it. ‘I think it’s different in here because of the heart you claim you don’t have.’

  ‘Don’t fuck with me, Braeden. It’s not a claim. It’s fact.’

  ‘Right.’ A few moments passed while Braeden waited for his words to sink in. Not into his psyche, but into Xavier’s.

  ‘What?’ Xavier demanded. Fifteen seconds. Thirty. One minute… ‘Okay, now you’re pissing me off.’

  Hope bloomed in Braeden’s spirit. ‘You can deny it, but these changes didn’t come about by chance. It appears your spirit compensated for what was missing. I could be wrong, but I think you may have grown a tiny piece of a heart on your own.’

  Silence.

  Silence.

  And then, more silence…

  ‘You had to fucking ruin it, didn’t you?’ Xavier spat. ‘If there’s anything resembling a heart in here, then point it out. Otherwise keep that shit to yourself.’

  ‘Xavier?’

  ‘Asshole.’

  ‘Xavier.’

  Silence. ‘What?’

  ‘Thank you. For everything.’

  If a spirit could blush, Braeden suspected Xavier’s would.

  ‘You’re welcome,’ Xavier said begrudgingly.

  ‘Now the question remains, will we both be able to say the oath when the time comes?’

  He was speaking of the Oath for Re-Joining, words uttered right before the Halves are permanently reunited:

  “We the equal Halves of (insert name of previously Whole Yoreck) come together willingly, for his common good, and not our own. We come in good faith, leaving all self-seeking behind. We pledge to think and feel as a true One, forever and ever.”

  Once uttered, this vow was irrevocable. They’d be bound by it, and could not renege, even if they felt otherwise. It was the same as the Yoreck compulsion to keep their race secret. Taking this oath wouldn’t change their desires, but it would make breaking their word catastrophic. Any duplicity would trigger a spiritual and/or mental meltdown. Psychosis was the end result. Sometimes it took minutes, other times weeks, but the truth would eventually come out.

  Dishonesty was the main reason many Yoreck Re-Joinings failed, which is why the Oath was not to be taken lightly.

  An echo of silence reverberated and as expected, Xavier changed the subject with a burst of chatter. ‘So this thing with D. She went batshit. Handcuffed me to the bed. Called me a liar. Threatened me with a gun—’

  Braeden stifled a laugh. ‘Did she kill you?’

  ‘Yeah. Put a bullet in the head—only after I made her do it though. Anyway, you’ve got to tell her I’m not lying, but be quick. You know your time limits.’

  Yes, he had to get back before he was too weak to make the journey. ‘Do me a favor,’ Braeden said. ‘This may be the last moment I have alone with her so—’

  ‘You want me to go to sleep.’

  ‘If you don’t mind.’ When a wave of distrust hit him, Braeden added, ‘I promise it won’t be like before.’

  Silence.

  ‘No tricks,’ Braeden vowed. ‘I will never betray you again.’

  Silence.

  Finally, Xavier muttered, ‘You know you can’t fuck her, right?’

  Of all the things Xavier could’ve said, this surprised him the most. He couldn’t be present during the Seal. Nor could he use Xavier’s body to have sex with Denieve now. If he did, the entire process would be void. Xavier had to be the one to complete the procedure with no interference
from his other half.

  ‘I know the rules,’ Braeden said. ‘No sex.’

  ‘Otherwise you’ll jeopardize the Seal. And we wouldn’t want that.’

  Fascinating. Xavier had never been such a stickler for regulations save his Scrubber vows about Protocol. Which could only mean one thing. Possessiveness. It had a root, and that root was jealousy.

  He didn’t know whether to be jealous himself or amused. ‘Interesting that you’re suddenly all gung ho about the rules.’

  ‘I just don’t want any complications,’ Xavier grumbled.

  Braeden was in the middle of smothering another inner smile when an otherworldly warmth shook him to the core. The mystical pull tugged at them to Join—had always tugged at them since their separation. Yet the dark energy that made them repel each other had somehow shifted. No, not shifted. Weakened.

  It was barely discernable now.

  ‘Well, you’d better do this before you tire out,’ Xavier said. ‘You’ll need all your strength to get back.’ He turned to leave. ‘I…I guess I’ll see you later?’

  ‘You can count on it, brother.’

  With that, Xavier drifted into the darkness, a place where neither sight nor sound existed. Braeden immediately suffered his painful absence. Yes, pain. For the first time in centuries, the gnawing void in his spirit had deepened, a void—Braeden could finally admit—that only Xavier could fill.

  * * *

  XAVIER’S SAFEHOUSE/BUNKER

  FREDERICK, MARYLAND

  Denieve

  ____________________________

  The tugging sensation squeezed me like a warm fist down deep in my belly. As that was happening, a gray mist descended from the ceiling and melted into Xavier’s body.

  Braeden!

  Hope sprung as I waited and waited…and waited for him to take his first breath. An hour later, I was still waiting. I hadn’t moved from the cold lake of blood on the floor. I braced his chest, finding what I found the last time I’d checked. No heartbeat. No warmth or color in his face. In fact, he looked waxy, and I was on the brink of hysteria.

  “Braeden? Xavier? Ian?” I screamed through the gas mask. No response, so I shook him hard, but his corpse sagged even more in my arms. Fear coalesced to fury. “If somebody doesn’t come back, I swear I’ll recite every damn book of poetry I own at your funerals, starting with Christopher Marlowe, Xavier! Everything he’s ever written will—”

  He gasped and within seconds, his body warmed, shook, then stilled, giving me an instant flash of déjà vu, to the night in Braeden’s lab when he’d come alive again in my arms.

  Five minutes later, a brilliant pair of blue eyes flashed open. “Denieve…my love.”

  I held his face, kissed his cheeks through the mask. “Braeden? Is it you?”

  His chest swelled as he gazed up at me and grinned, but his breathing was labored. “The one and only,” he rasped.

  “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

  “Me taking control like this…it’s-it’s like shoving a jagged piece of glass into its mate. It fits, but…it takes a lot of…effort.”

  This was so strange—Braeden speaking from Xavier’s body. Their voices were nearly identical, but their inflections and mannerisms were different. The change was extraordinary.

  “Where’s Xavier?”

  “He’s…gone to sleep,” he said. “But don’t worry he’s fine.” Another noisy breath tumbled out of him. “How are you doing, my love?”

  Tears welled. “Not very good. I miss you.” I swept his hair back. “Are you all right?”

  “Now that I’m here with you, I’m right as rain.” He brushed a tear from my mask with his thumb. “I promise it will get better. Just trust me, okay?”

  I nodded.

  “We only have an hour,” he told me as he took the room in, “so listen carefully.” He focused on me again. “The house is gone, Denieve. The Elders torched it.”

  “Oh, no….”

  “It’s for the best,” he said. “I got so caught up in the past, I failed to see what was right in front of me.” He kissed the back of my hand. “So let’s talk about the here and now. Xavier told you some things.”

  “Yes, about Luke. Is it true?”

  “Absolutely. And he’s doing well. He just hasn’t decided if he’ll accept my offer.”

  “Can you give him a message for me?”

  “Of course.”

  “Please tell him I can’t fathom living in a world without him in it.”

  “Consider it done,” he said with a nod.

  I bit back my tears. “At Luke’s, you sent Xavier off knowing you would die, knowing we’d never see each other again.”

  “No, sweetheart, die is not the proper word. I went away knowing I’d never see you again in the other body, but we’re together now. Maybe not like before, but still, I’m here and my love hasn’t changed. It’s just as deep and sure.” He levered himself up, glanced around. “Now, we’ve got a lot to cover and a short amount of time to do it. What I’m about to tell you will be hard to believe and even harder to understand, but you have my word. It’s the absolute truth.”

  The days of me doubting Braeden Frost were history, but that Seal, I needed to hear him say it. “The part about me having sex with— Is he lying?”

  He shook his head.

  “Is that why you threw us together?”

  He watched me for a beat and nodded, only it was wary…hesitant. “I’m sorry. There was no way I could tell you. The whole point was for the two of you to come together…organically.” His face sobered. “I needed you to get to know that part of me. To get to know him.”

  I really resented being manipulated like this. He’d never know how I suffered not knowing, being frustrated and confused all the time, but then again, I also understood his reasoning, and I couldn’t ignore the agony he’d endured. How torn he must have been, knowing what happened between Xavier and me while he was gone…what had to happen now.

  Yes, it all made sense. Everything he’d done, he’d done for me and our child. I couldn’t begrudge him that. If anything, I admired him for it. The strength of character. The courage. The selflessness. It was all so Braeden. This was why I loved him.

  Still, I could feel his reticence. He wasn’t happy about any of this, despite his claims to the contrary, but he’d never admit it in a million years. That’s when the perfect solution came to me.

  “Since I have you here,” I said, “in his body, why can’t we do the Seal thing right now?”

  Braeden gave his head a solemn shake. “Sealing isn’t just a physical act, Denieve. It’s spiritual too. That’s why Xavier has to complete it. It’s an acknowledgment that we’re One in claiming the child as ours. And that you accept us both. It won’t work otherwise.” He licked his lips. “Our goal here is to give you and Ian the best possible chance, and that chance begins with this Seal.”

  “Ian McBride.” There it was again. That name. To me, it was a stranger’s name. I sighed my frustration. “Who is he anyway?”

  He searched my eyes before answering. “He’s…Xavier with a generous dose of me.”

  “Come again?”

  Braeden hesitated. “It means, sweetheart, that Xavier is Alpha.”

  CHAPTER 20

  XAVIER’S SAFEHOUSE/BUNKER

  FREDERICK, MARYLAND

  Denieve

  ____________________________

  “Alpha?”

  “Yes, Alpha,” he repeated softly.

  “And that means what exactly?”

  He kissed my forehead and struggled to his feet to head for the bathroom. Several splashes of water later, he emerged, towel-drying his Xavier’s hair. He tossed the soiled towel over the congealing blood on the floor, pulled me up, and led me to settle at the edge of the bed. The thick mask was hot and uncomfortable. I was so tempted to take it off. I needed to kiss him. To feel him next to me, but I didn’t dare.

  Too much was at stake.

  Braeden faced me, righ
t leg bent to rest against the mattress, his other anchored to the floor. Taking my hands in his, he examined them with a look of wonder as he stroked each finger, seeming to memorize their shape and texture. He could touch me wholesale now, and from his rapturous expression, he was enjoying it.

  He lifted his gaze and pressed a gentle kiss on each knuckle, his blue eyes, warm and tender, never looked away from mine. Yes, technically, they were Xavier eyes, and Xavier’s lips were kissing me, but there was no mistaking who was doing it.

  I drew an unsteady breath. “If that was meant to distract me, mission accomplished.”

  Braeden smiled. “There is a method to my madness. I wanted to show you that the body…the eyes…even the way I speak may change, but I’ll still be in here, loving you as much, if not more than ever.”

  “You’re scaring me.”

  He lowered our entwined hands. “Alpha means Xavier is the dominant personality.” His eyes held a look of purpose. “It means I was extracted from this body. Ian’s body.”

  I stared back at him, bewildered. “Huh?”

  “Sweetheart...” He pressed his palms to his chest. “This is our original home. It’s where I came from. I was taken out of Ian, and Xavier is what was left behind.”

  It took several moments before I “got it,” but when I finally did, it made perfect sense. It explained my doppelganger. The voice. The tats.

  All I could think to ask was, “When they took you out....” I shuddered as I glanced at his hand. “Did they do something like what you did with the hatchet? Was it surgical or….”

  “No,” he said, with a low chuckle. “They didn’t cut him in half. It’s a mystical process performed by our…. What’s the term?” He shook his head. “Well, some people call them shamans. Or better still, holy men. Their powers enable them to pull flesh from flesh and divide the soul.”

  I was trying to keep up with this latest revelation, but my body wasn’t cooperating. My disorganized thoughts, the rampant spikes of adrenaline, and the instability of my emotions made it difficult to concentrate—all side effects of this annoying Fever.