The Darkest Frost: Vol 2 of a 2-part serial (TDF, #2)

by Tanya Holmes

  Xavier glanced down at himself. “That’s biology, doll.” He tapped his temple. “The music’s for this. So I can zone out.”

  Zone out? Could he make this any more awful? And that song, that smut-filled song he’d put on.… While the lyrics were disgusting, the rhythmic beat was annoyingly erotic.

  I willed myself to calm, but if I thought my nerves would get any steadier once I was in the water, I was wrong. If anything, my anxiety boiled over. The water added an intimacy I hadn’t prepared for. Not to mention my stupid robe floated around my waist. It was a dumb idea, but I wasn’t about to take the thing off. That would leave me even more exposed.

  Xavier’s face was a dark mask. His eyes were set in a serpent’s stare—cold and empty. “Come here.”

  I gasped when he pulled me to him. His erection brushed my thigh as his hand dipped beneath the water. He found me and wasted no time rolling my clit between his fingers.

  I shoved away from him. “Stop that!”

  “I was just trying to grease the skids. But if you prefer to do it dry.…”

  He was being an absolute dick! I narrowed my eyes. “That’s it. Do I just …mount you…or…”

  “Mount me?”

  Anger crossed his face, but it vanished in an instant. He squeezed his lids shut, and when they snapped open again, gray fire burned within his gaze. He tugged me to him, grabbed my hips and positioned me over his shaft, holding me up as if I weighed nothing. His erection grazed my clit, then slid to where it was supposed to go. But he didn’t enter me. Not yet.

  He stared into my eyes for the longest moment, as if he were trying to penetrate my mind, just as he was about to do below. But I was resolved. I would not lose myself. I was doing this for Braeden. For my child. That was all. I had to maintain control, especially with Xavier. I’d lost so much of it ever since I met him, and most especially over the past few days. So in this…in this I would prevail.

  Xavier Frost had chased me, torn my resistance down, and now we were here. About to be as intimate as two people could be. The last time we almost did this, he’d taken a piece of my soul with him. This time would be different. This time I would give him my body, but nothing more. I thought about Braeden and how much I missed him. I thought about our child…

  That’s right—me and Braeden’s child.

  “Do it,” I breathed. “But no kiss—”

  Without warning, he let go. I grabbed his arms to control my descent, but I wasn’t quick enough. The head of his cock found the end of me. The rest of him stretched and filled me from root to tip. We both blinked and dragged in a few jagged breaths, trying to recover from the amazing feeling—

  NO.

  It was only sex. And that moment of weakness only lasted a second because when I looked again, his mask was back in place. His distant eyes dug into mine with just as much determination.

  Why was he doing this? Why was he trying to get in my head? Why was he—

  As if he were dancing, Xavier circled his hips in time with the music, touching a place deep within while he focused his full attention on me. It was a blatant attempt to drag me someplace I didn’t want to go. So I shut my brain off and held myself in check, too afraid to move or do anything that would cause him to think this was something more than a means to an end.

  That didn’t put him off though. He gripped my hips and lifted me with no effort at all. This too he did while keeping time with the pounding bass. My God, he was dancing and fucking and dancing—and drawing me in, luring me. Never breaking eye contact. Never faltering. Never missing a beat. It was one of the most erotic things I’d ever experienced.

  But still, I fought it. Fought him with all my might. I told myself I would endure this. That I wanted to get the whole thing over with. So I looked away and stared out at the moonlit woods. I would watch the blue-black sky and think about anything and everything else, except what we were doing.

  But Xavier wasn’t having it. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him, to see the ruthless determination burning in his eyes. That he had access to my body wasn’t enough. He wanted my mind too.

  One hand continued lifting, and then pulling me down, while the other slid over my clit, his fingers worrying the sensitive nub into a rigid peak. The man was hell-bent on getting a response out of me, and I was just as determined to deny him one.

  Yet the battle was short-lived.

  Three well-timed thrusts later, and my traitorous hands gripped his shoulders as I tightened around his cock. It was automatic. Involuntary. I was losing control of my body. With each inner caress, he studied my face to read my reaction, to see which stroke would flip my switch. But I stayed stiff and unyielding, even while my body betrayed me. I wouldn’t enjoy this. I couldn’t enjoy this—that’s what I kept telling myself as he withdrew, lifting me with ease, then bringing me back down to press deep.

  Still, I fought his penetration of my soul, fought the slow thrust and drag of his cock, fought the fingers working my clit. His narrowed eyes probed mine just as deeply to pull something out of me. A moan. A sigh. A gasp. I knew what he wanted, but I refused to give it to him.

  Perspiration broke across his forehead. His biceps bunched while his fingers tortured me with each upward thrust. He continued the lazy motion, aiming his cock one place and then another, as if he were on a treasure hunt. Undeterred by my lack of response, he switched angles, relentlessly pursuing his masculine quest until he found what he was looking for.

  That spot.

  The one spot that when hit, killed any fight I had left, reducing me to a pile of ash. Against my will, a gasp escaped me. Triumph flared in his eyes, and he went for it again. He was ruthless, thrusting his hips with more intensity.

  The first ripple began in my core and branched outward, bleeding into me like quicksilver. But before that blessed release could catch fire, he pulled out and roughly set me off to the side, far away from him. Meanwhile, the music swelled, its slow, rhythmic pounding seeming to heighten the moment.

  His gaze never left mine as his cock pulsed, spurting endless white jets of semen into the clear blue water. There was no heat in his dead eyes. Nothing in his face that even hinted at the pleasure he was experiencing. Then, as if by design, the song came to an end. He was still coming in the water when he snatched the remote from the table and shut the sound system down.

  I glared at him in outrage as the last jet shot from his cock. He was silent as he shoved out of the water, wrapped himself in a towel, and turned to leave.

  “This is just like before…” I said to myself, breathlessly. “Cold. Without—”

  He angled around, brow raised. “Before what?”

  If I looked at him I’d try to kill him. “Just go.”

  “Answer the question.”

  “Like I owe you anything.”

  “You owe me nothing,” he said. “I’m just curious.”

  My pride was gone. He’d killed it. All I had left was rage. “Like my first time with Braeden!” I spat. “Cheap. Emotionless. And pointless!”

  “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

  Yes. No. YES! “Well, at least it’s done,” I said, giving him my back.

  I couldn’t see him, but I felt his smirk. “Wrong again.”

  I turned around slowly, rage brimming.

  “What we did…” His gaze sliced to the swirling water as he headed out. “That wasn’t about the Seal.”

  “What the hell was it then?”

  He hit the stairs. “Fun. I just wanted to fuck you in the Jacuzzi.”

  CHAPTER 22

  XAVIER’S SAFEHOUSE/BUNKER

  FREDERICK, MARYLAND

  Denieve

  ____________________________

  We didn’t speak the next day. After what he’d done…humiliating me like that, I refused to acknowledge his presence. He may have been Braeden’s other half, but he wasn’t the better one. The man was a mutation, an aberration. A spawn of hell!

  While he checked my vitals, and s
erved me breakfast and lunch, I went elsewhere in my head. I was too furious to give him so much as a glance. It was reminiscent of Braeden and me after the powder room fight, only worse. Total radio silence.

  However, I welcomed the quiet, relished it, because it wouldn’t last. Sooner or later, we’d have to talk, and the Seal would have to happen. At one point, I seriously considered asking him to drug me. All I wanted was to get through it. Unconscious preferably. After what he did, the thought of touching him again, of him touching me…

  No. Just…no.

  That evening, I sat with my back to the headboard hugging my knees and rocking. Again. The first time I did this, Xavier had practically fucked me in the kitchen. And now he’d done it literally—fucked me, that is, and shamed me so he could subjugate and debase me. The goal being to knock me down to his level, the lowest of the low.

  I’d tried to remain detached last night, to not feel anything. To go somewhere in my mind and just let it happen. Somehow I thought if I gave him my body he’d be satisfied with that, but it wasn’t enough. He had to take my pride and what little remained of my dignity. He’d admitted as much a few days ago.

  He said he wanted to own me.

  So how did he get that point across? He pulled out of me and came in the water. Another slight, another figurative slap in the face. Just one more way of diminishing me and belittling what I had with Braeden.

  The really sick thing about all this? I loathed Xavier. Despised him, but damn it, I still wanted him. Some twisted part of my brain liked how he challenged me, how he kept me off balance. This attracted me and I hated myself for it. How could I feel desire and disgust at the same time? With Braeden I was safe, protected. And I needed that. But then there was my other side, the crazy side, the Xavier side, the thrill-seeking side that craved adventure and danger. Maybe I was just as deranged as he was.

  It was a little after eight p.m. when I felt his approach. That familiar knot in my stomach tightened the closer he got. I was too raw, too exposed, too vulnerable to go another round with him.

  He banged on my door. “We need to talk.”

  “I have nothing to say to you.”

  If I still hadn’t sensed his presence I would’ve thought he’d left. Over a minute flew by before he spoke again. “Want me to tell you why you should let me in?”

  I slipped beneath the covers and punched my pillow. “I don’t care.”

  “Come on. Open the door and I’ll tell you.”

  That I actually considered his gibberish pissed me off even more. “As usual, you’re talking nonsense.”

  “Screw this.” Xavier materialized in the center of my room.

  So that was what he meant by “the old fashioned way” of entering. “Get out! I didn’t invite you in.”

  “My name’s Xavier, not Dracula. I don’t need a fucking invitation.”

  I clutched the sheets to my breasts and stabbed a finger at the door. “I said, get out.”

  “Give it a rest. When you really mean it, I’ll leave.” He was shoeless and shirtless, sporting navy-blue boxer briefs labeled DIESEL, another massive erection, and an ever-deepening scowl.

  I glowered at him. “You disgust me.”

  “What this?” He gestured at his stiff cock. “You’ve got the cure, sweetness.”

  I averted my eyes. “Don’t even think about coming near me with that thing.”

  “It’s not going anywhere until we do the deed.”

  Well, whose fault was that? God, he was such a bastard! We could’ve finished this nauseating ritual yesterday if he hadn’t—

  No. I wasn’t going there again.

  “Will you please, please, just go?” I begged. “We’ll do the Seal in the morning, all right? Now leave!”

  “No, I need to say this while it’s on my mind.” He paced a ragged circle. His gaze dragged the carpet. “Okay, yeah. I was a dick last night, but you—”

  “That’s putting it mildly.”

  “Don’t interrupt me.” He tossed a warning look over his shoulder as he worked a hole into the floor. “Like I was saying, I was a dick, but I had good reason to be. And you were just as much of a dick as I was. If not more. So you need to apologize too.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Are you hearing impaired? I said you were a dick.”

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Mr. Frost. You used the word ‘too,’ which seems to imply you already apologized.” I quirked a brow. “Funny, I didn’t hear an apology.”

  He flung out his hands. “What the fuck do you want? I said I was a dick.”

  “Two whole sentences and not one of them included the words, ‘I’m sorry.’ You were a cold, crude, tactless, son of a bitch. It started with that perverted music and—”

  “Fine! I’m sorry I didn’t let you come!”

  The man was insane. “Is that what you think this is about?”

  “No, this is about it being your turn.”

  “My turn for what?”

  He stood over me now, his face twisted in anger. “Two words. I’m. Sorry!”

  The sheer insanity of this conversation wasn’t lost on me. But this was typical of Xavier. “What do I have to apologize for?”

  His gaze sharpened. “You seriously don’t know?”

  “If I did I wouldn’t be asking.”

  Xavier started tearing the floor up again. He’d worked himself into a frenzy. His face was red, his eyes wild as he arrowed a dark look in my direction. “I’ll spell it out for you. I’d just had an amazing encounter with my brother and then—”

  “What do you mean by amazing?”

  “That’s…that’s not the point. All you need to know is I was stoked. But then you had to go and piss on it.”

  He was such a freaking drama king. “And how, pray tell, did I ‘piss on it’?”

  “The part about wanting him to take over my body! For good! Just erase me out of existence, huh? And then having him do the Seal instead! Obviously the thought of me doing it repulses you.”

  My mouth fell open. “That’s not what I— Hold on. You weren’t even supposed to be listening. He said you were asleep!”

  “I cheated, so sue me,” he snapped. “But that’s not all. The second he’s gone, you go all Queen Elsa, putting me on deep freeze with this shit about keeping the mask on, then telling me we’ll wait until the pheromones wear off, that you don’t want to lose control. As if that’s a bad thing—”

  “Do you even hear yourself? Everything isn’t about you, Xavier. Good God. I was upset. I’d just said goodbye to the love of my life! Not knowing if I’d ever see him again.”

  “Right! So you take that shit out on me by walking into my bedroom like a virgin sacrifice. As if the thought of me touching you was a fate worse than death. Like I’m a piece of dirt or something—forgetting that I am him! And to top it off, you treated me like a fucking studhorse.”

  Dumbfounded, I shook my head. “You can’t be serious.”

  Oh, yes. He was quite serious. Back and forth he went, saying nothing, except every few seconds, he’d shoot me a lethal glare.

  I’d hurt him. That’s what this was about. I’d actually hurt him.

  The loud hush in the room was like Chinese water torture. Drip. Drip. Drip. “Xavier?”

  He ignored me because he wanted… Damn it. He wanted an admission. But an admission would lead to a deeper analysis of a truth I wasn’t ready to broach.

  “Will you stop pacing?” I asked. Begged. But he wouldn’t. Seconds droned on until I broke. “All right. All right. Maybe you have…a point.”

  He tore around to face me. “The point.”

  “Okay, so are you done now?”

  “Hell no,” he said. “I want to know why.”

  “There is no ‘why.’ It just is.”

  He didn’t miss a beat. “You’re lying.”

  Yes, I was. And badly. Because everything he’d said was true. “You’ve been so angry. I thought you wanted to get it over with as much as
I did.”

  “Yeah. Get it over with.” He stopped in his tracks, but fury still poured out of him. “That’s the fucking problem right there.”

  “Okay, listen…” When he glowered at me expectantly, I said, “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

  He shifted from one foot to the other. “Any of what?”

  I motioned between us. “You. Braeden and me…Luke.” Just saying Luke’s name brought the pain back. My breath hitched because of it. “None of this was part of my plan. I came here to do a job—four weeks tops. But then I fell in love with Braeden and everything spiraled….”

  “Is there a point somewhere in there?”

  “Yes, the point—”

  “Bzzzzt! On second thought, I don’t give a damn what your point is.” The ice in his eyes turned to fire. “All that matters is I’m still not sorry for what happened in that kitchen. I’m not sorry for wanting you. I’m not! I’ve been honest from the get-go. I’ve told you what I wanted all along. And that was you! Just you, D! It’s high time you admitted the same. I know you want me, which is why I’m sick and fucking tired of you treating me like you don’t! Like I’m a wad of gum on your shoe or something. Well, that shit stops today.” He narrowed his gaze. “Tell the fucking truth for once!”

  The impact of his words was immediate. They hit me so hard I shuddered. Now what he did in the Jacuzzi made sense. He’d wanted to hurt me as much as I’d hurt him. It was a dick move, yes. But it was also an Id move—completely childish, but understandable considering his emotional limitations.

  This…whatever it was between us, reminded me of a suitcase crammed to bursting. For me to admit even the tiniest of truths would be like tugging the zipper open just a fraction. Do that and the whole thing would explode.

  “I have my faults.” He approached the bed with purpose and command. “A shitload of them. But I don’t lie. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. You should try it sometime. It’s liberating.”

  I glanced away.

  “Uh-uh. Look at me.” I resisted at first, but gave in and met his gray eyes. Mine widened at the sight of them. They were ablaze with heat and intent as he knelt beside the bed with the grace of a panther and leaned his forearms on the mattress. “You’re no virgin sacrifice,” he said, his voice a low rumble. “So let’s dispense with that bullshit right now. I hurt you yesterday, and I’m…I’m sorry. Okay? I’m fucking sorry. But you made me so mad—”