by Ashley Goss
“It’s me you are talking to. You don’t have to lie to me. I know you are scared. You must be. You haven’t had enough time to get over the attack.”
“You’re right. I’m freaking out. I don’t understand why he is looking for me. What does he want?”
“I don’t know, but I want to make sure that he doesn’t get to you. I will stay here if you want me to. I want you to be safe.”
He’s a very kind man. He has some great qualities. Even though he’s a good man and I have an undeniable connection with him, it can never be more than that. It just wouldn’t work out. Of course, he didn’t know that. The subject’s never come up between us. If it does, I would tell him the truth, but until then I just keep it to myself.
As we get him settled into my house in the spare bedroom, I notice he has a gun with him.
“What are you doing with that?”
“I am protecting you. I have my concealed carry permit. I carry this with me wherever I go. I wasn’t going to leave it at home!”
“I don’t know if I like that being in my house.”
“Believe me, if a situation like your attack even happens again, you are going to be glad you have a gun in your house.”
He’s right. I think about how things could have been different that day if I had a gun. I could have defended myself and shot Dwayne. However, I don’t know if I would have the balls to shoot to kill him. Even after all that he has done to me, I don’t think I could do it.
“To a certain extent, you are right. You can keep it.”
A couple of hours later, I wake up to a noise wide awake. I shake Elijah who is asleep next to me on the couch.
“What? What’s wrong?” he asks, rubbing his eyes.
“I heard something!”
“Where?”
I point to the front door.
He walks over to the blinds and lifts them up. I jump back at the sight of Dwayne outside my living room window. What is he doing here? I’m safe. He can’t get in the house. He can’t get to me. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down.
“Go to the bedroom!” Elijah tells me.
I follow his command and run to the spare bedroom and shut the door. I couldn’t calm myself down at this point. I don’t know what is going on or what is going to happen. Why is he here? Why can’t he just leave me alone? I hear a loud crash come from the living room and then shouting. I’m crying at this point. I know that Dwayne has managed to get inside the house. Would Elijah be able to stop him? Wait, he has his gun. He would use it if he must. I to sit on the bed and feel something underneath me. It’s the gun! He didn’t have the firearm.
I need to be brave. I need to make sure that Elijah is okay. I couldn’t leave him in there to die. Who knows what kind of weapon Dwayne might have with him. I take another deep breath, carry the gun in my hand, and open the bedroom door slowly. Elijah is on the floor with Dwayne on top of him. Elijah’s bleeding and screaming at him.
“I don’t regret it for one second. You deserved what I did to you. I don’t care what you do to me. You will not hurt Nikki ever again!” Elijah yells.
“You think you can keep her from me? Don’t fool yourself. She will come back to me!” Dwayne tells Elijah while still punching him.
“Hey!” I scream.
“Go back in the bedroom!” Elijah shouts.
“I knew you were here. Hello, beautiful. Are you ready to come home yet?” Dwayne asks me.
“I will never go back with you. I want you to leave my house!”
“I am not leaving unless you are with me,” he says as he runs toward me.
I pull the gun from behind me and point it at Dwayne but not fast enough before he gets to me.
“Not quite fast enough, were you?” he says with the gun in his hand.
I could see Elijah’s face. He is beaten severely, but I know that he is worried. Dwayne isn’t paying any attention to Elijah now, only me.
“Just come home.”
“No!” I scream.
He takes the gun and whacks me in my face.
“Again, come home with me.”
“No!” I scream again.
This time he strikes me so hard that I fall to the ground, holding my head.
“You can go willingly, or I will make you go. This can be easy. It’s your choice. If you come with me, then the police can’t put me in jail. If you can forgive me, then anyone can. I will not go to jail, Nikki. I don’t deserve it. You made me do those things to you. All you had to was listen. That’s all you had to do but you wouldn’t. You kept pushing me and doing things that I told you not to do!”
I don’t want to go with him, but I don’t want him to hurt Elijah anymore. What choice do I have? He has a gun on me. I must go. If going with him could spare at least one of our lives, then I need to do it. This isn’t about Elijah. This is about me. He wants me. If I go with him, then he will leave Elijah alone.
“Okay, I’ll go with you.”
Dwayne smiles and pulls me up off the floor with both hands behind my back like I’m under arrest and walks me toward the door. When we get to the door, Elijah shoots up off the ground, takes the gun from Dwayne, and now has him at gunpoint.
“She’s not going anywhere with you. She doesn’t want to be with you anymore. She wants nothing to do with you!” Eliah screams, taking me from Dwayne.
I know he wants to protect me but the last thing I need is for him to get killed because of it.
“You're mistaken. Nikki already said she was coming with me. Stop trying to be a hero. She is mine. She will never be yours. Don’t think that I don’t see the way you look at her. At one point in time, I looked at her the same way. It will fade. There’s no need for you to be a hero here. Just let her come with me. She’s nothing special. You will realize this with time. Just let her go, and she can come with me. I’ll save you the heartbreak.” Dwayne replies.
Wow, nothing special? You’re no prize yourself, sweetheart. I’ve had enough.
“You can either leave now and never come back, or I will shoot you where you stand.”
I hope he shoots him. Maybe then, he will get the point to leave me the fuck alone. Will this ever stop? Am I going to be free of Dwayne? Why does he keep coming back? Just leave me the fuck alone.
“Okay, I’ll leave,” Dwayne said as he turns around to leave and then darts toward Elijah. He pulls the trigger twice, and Dwayne drops to the ground.
Chapter 13
Elijah
I could still hear the gun going off as I stand there for a second. What have I just done? I just shot someone.
“Is he alive?” Nikki asks.
I check his pulse, and he is dead. I just killed a man. Monster or not, I killed someone.
“You need to call the police,” I tell Nikki.
She dials 911. I can hear her in the bedroom telling them what happened. I’m in shock, sitting on the floor next to Dwayne’s body. He isn’t going to be able to hurt her ever again. I keep telling myself that over and over. I thought it would make me feel better, but it doesn’t. I still took someone’s life.
About five minutes later, the cops arrive with paramedics. They enter the house and tell us we need to stay somewhere else tonight. We couldn’t stay in a crime scene. Did they really think we would be staying here anyway?
“Can I ask you some questions before you leave?” the officer asks me. “How did you know this man?”
“He was her ex-boyfriend. He just recently got out of jail for assaulting her.” I say, pointing toward Nikki.
“Did he threaten you?” he asks.
“Have you looked at my face? This is all from him before he held her at gunpoint trying to get her to leave with him.” I reply starting to get agitated.
“I understand. I do have to ask the questions, sir. Was the gun his?”
“No, the gun was mine. I have a license!”
“Okay, that’s all the questions I have for you right now.”
I grab Nikki, and we t
ry to find a hotel. I didn’t want to show up at Rachel’s and Chris’s house so late. After we get a hotel, we go upstairs and took turns taking a shower.
After my shower, I get dressed and sit next to Nikki. She didn’t look so good. She’s staring off into space.
“Hey. Are you okay?”
She started crying. “No, I am not okay. We just killed someone in my house. I wasn’t safe.”
“I was trying to protect you. I didn’t know what else to do. I’m so sorry!”
“I’m not upset with you. It’s just this horrible feeling inside. To know that you are the reason that someone is dead. How are we going to live with ourselves?”
“I keep telling myself that he was a monster. He was going to keep coming after you until he got what he wanted. He was crazy.”
I put my arms around her to console her, and she laid against my chest. I know that this is going to change everything. She has been assaulted by the man and then had to witness him being shot. This is going to haunt her for the rest of her life.
“Listen, I wouldn’t change what I did. I did what I had to do to protect you from harm’s way. I would do it again if I had to. All I want is for you to be safe!”
She looks up at me and says, “Why do you care so much about my safety?”
I’m dumbfounded at her question. Why do I care? I’ve had feelings for her since the moment I laid eyes on her. I want so badly to push her up against the wall and kiss her on multiple occasions but keep myself from doing so. I know that she isn’t in the right place to be with someone. After being attacked and abused, space is needed. I know that firsthand. I didn’t want to cross her boundaries.
“You are a truly wonderful person, and no one deserves the hand you were dealt with that man. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you in my life. You are my sunshine on a cloudy day.”
She looks up at me with her big beautiful eyes, and I couldn’t help it. I kissed her. Immediately after, I regret it. I regret it not because I didn’t want to do it but because it’s the worst timing. We just had a very traumatic experience, and I shouldn’t have used that to be our first kiss. What the hell is wrong with me? Pull yourself together. She just looks down on the bed and didn’t say anything to me.
“I’m sorry. I know that was uncalled for right now,” I say apologizing.
“It’s okay. We are both in shock, and I think we just need to try and get some sleep.”
We both lay down and try to fall asleep, but that isn’t going to happen. My mind’s racing, going over the scene of tonight, over and over in my head. Could I have done something different? Did she blame me? I couldn’t stop asking myself questions.
After about an hour, I hear her drift off to sleep and then I did as well.
I wake up with a massive headache and for a minute forgot what happened the previous night. I still couldn’t believe it. Images from last night keep flashing in my head as I get up to eat for breakfast. Nikki’s already up and dressed.
“Hey. How did you sleep?”
“Probably as bad as you did.”
“Maybe we should talk briefly about our kiss yesterday?”
“Elijah, I am so glad that you have been there for me through these tough times. I really appreciate that. I am just not ready to be in any kind of relationship right now.”
“I understand. You have been through a lot in the past couple of months, and I wouldn’t pressure you into anything. You take all the time you need.”
“We should probably head over to Rachel’s. I’m sure this will be on TV, and I don’t want them to find out that way. They will be worried sick about us.”
As we head to knock on their door, Rachel opens it.
“What happened to your face?”
“Let’s go inside so we can talk about it.”
We all sit around on the couches, no one wanting to start the conversation first.
“I’m glad you asked me to come stay over last night. Dwayne showed up and held us at gunpoint and beat me up pretty bad.”
“Where is he at? Surely, he is in jail, right?” Nikki and I look at each other, and she says, “No, he is dead.”
“Dead?” Chris asks.
“He tried forcing Nikki to leave with him, so he was distracted, and I took the gun away from him and shot him. I had no other choice!”
Chris and Rachel didn’t say anything right away.
“I’m sorry that happened to you guys.” Rachel apologizes.
I could see Nikki starting to cry, you can only hold back emotions for so long before they pour out. She is trying to be strong but doesn’t have to be. Nikki needs to let them out. She doesn’t have to be afraid anymore. We did nothing wrong. I know it doesn’t make either one of us feel any better, but it must account for something, right? My only goal has been to protect Nikki at any cost. I did that.
Nikki grabs my hand and puts her head on my shoulder. I could feel her tears thru my t-shirt. I can’t stand to see her cry. Why is she shedding tears over this guy? He doesn’t deserve them.
“We are both going to be okay. That’s all that matters.”
I want to comfort her, make her feel alright but after what we just went thru, how do I even begin?
Chapter 14
Nikki
I didn’t have anywhere to stay right now since the incident, so I’ve been living with Chris and Rachel. I couldn’t bring myself to go back to the apartment. It’s still sealed up with yellow police tape. The events from that night still haunt me. Rachel has been very concerned for me. She says that I am too hard on myself for what happened. Problem is I didn’t feel like I am hard enough. We took someone’s life. Yes, he may have tried to harm us, but we still took his life. It’s a very horrible feeling, whether justified or not.
His mother reached out to me when she found out to see what exactly happened that night.
At first, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her because I didn’t want that to be the way she remembered her little boy. I want her to have good memories of him. Plus, she didn’t even believe that he almost beat me to death when I was in the hospital. How is she going to think that her little boy came to my house and actively tried to kidnap me?
After about thirty minutes of trying to get out of telling her what happened, she begged me for the truth. I end up explaining to her exactly what happened down to every word spoken and every action done. She starts crying.
“I don’t understand why he would do such a thing? It just doesn’t sound like him at all. That is not the Dwayne that I know!”
“I know. Dwayne was not the same person that I loved. He had changed over the course of the last year. I felt like I just didn’t know him anymore. It’s like he was a completely different person. I don’t want you to remember him this way. I want you to remember him for the good guy that he was for so long.”
I feel so sorry to have to tell his mother how horrible of a person he was, but she wanted and begged for the truth. She’s crying throughout the rest of the phone call.
I sit down next to Rachel and tell her.
“You shouldn’t have told his mom the truth.”
“I did what she asked me to. I didn’t want her to think that we were at fault for this. We did nothing wrong!”
“We know that you guys did nothing wrong. I can only imagine how hard it will be for her to remember him for who he was before all this happened. I find that unimaginable!”
“Enough about this topic. How about we have some fun tonight. It’s been a rough week, and we all need to blow off some steam. Want to have a game night?”
“Yeah, sounds like fun. It will get my mind off it.”
“Great, Elijah should be over any minute.”
Elijah and I haven’t really talked much since the incident. I think both of us are just in a dangerous place right now. I think it’s affecting him more because he’s the one that pulled the trigger. We are both having nightmares about it. I try to talk to him about it, but he shuts down.
&nb
sp; The front door opens, and there he is. By looking at him, you wouldn’t know anything is bothering him. He’s very good at hiding his emotions. I wish I could do that. You can read me like an open book. He came in, gave me a hug, and takes a seat.
“So, what is our game of choice tonight?” he asks.
“You and Nikki choose.”
“How about we play Monopoly?” I reply.
The thing I like most about monopoly is that it takes forever for the game to be over unless someone gets lucky with monopolies. I love the trading and buying. I’m a very competitive person. I used to play Monopoly with my dad before he passed away. It was our favorite game. We would sit and play two or three games in one sitting. I would usually win but every once in a blue moon, he would win, and I would be upset about it. My mom wasn’t really a game player. She said she never had time for them. She was always busy cooking, cleaning, or doing something around the house. She was constantly working.
Although, I think that was the way she liked it. She knew that game time was Dad’s time. I don’t think she wanted to interfere with that. I lost both when I was twelve. I was staying with my Aunt Carol for the night while my parents were out of town, and they never came back. They had been in a pretty unfortunate accident and passed away. It was rough being a teenager without my parents, but my aunt took me in and raised me like her own. I couldn’t have asked her for more than she gave me.
“Game’s all set up. Let’s play,” Chris says as we hear a knock at the door.
“Who would that be?”
“I have no idea. I didn’t invite anyone else.” Chris replies.
He opens the door, and there stand two cops.
“Good evening, Is Elijah Barnes here?”
“Yes, that’s me!”
“Can you step outside for me, sir?”
“What’s going on?” he asks.
“You're under arrest for the murder of Dwayne Woodley. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney. If you can’t afford one, then one will be provided.”
They take him and put him in the car and drive away.
