Bound by the Heart

by Ashley Goss

  Chapter 27

  Elijah

  I’m not in the right place right now. Depressed and emotional. I didn’t want Nikki to see me. I am embarrassed at myself. I couldn’t help but think I should have spent more time with my father while I could have.

  I just need time to grieve alone. I didn’t want someone continually asking me if I’m okay. I know she cares for me. I just didn’t need attention right now. She just didn’t understand that.

  I feel horrible for telling her I didn’t know if I want to be with her. I did. I did want to be with her, but I just want to be alone right now. I didn’t want to bring her down. She’s finally in the right place since Dwayne. I want her to stay happy and kind. I know my depression would rub off on her and she didn’t deserve that. She deserves so much better than what I can give her right now.

  Right now, I’m worthless. I’m useless. I couldn’t provide anything. I barely want to get out of bed. I want to run after and tell Nikki that I want her, but I need space, but I didn’t. I watch her drive away.

  Our relationship would never be the same again. I have abandoned Nikki. I made her feel unwanted. Why couldn’t I just run after her?

  About an hour later, I get a call from my boss.

  “Hey, it’s Josh. Can you talk?”

  “What’s up?”

  “I got a job for you, but it would involve you moving. Would you be okay with that?”

  “I would need to think about it.”

  “Okay, you would be the manager of one of my shops. Better pay. Think about it and let me know.”

  I would get to run my own shop? This has a dream of mine. How could I leave all my friends here? I would have to start over with no one. Is it worth it? I didn’t know if I want to take the job. I didn’t know if I should.

  I didn’t think I could face Nikki again.

  I call Josh back.

  “Alright, I’ll take it.”

  “I’ll need you there by the beginning of next month.”

  “Okay, thanks for the opportunity. I won’t let you down.”

  “I know you won’t.”

  All I can think about is Nikki, Chris, and Rachel. How are they going to feel about me moving? This is going to be a couple hours away. At least, I could drive back often and visit if they want me to. How am I going to tell them?

  I call Chris and tell him to come over. I want to tell him in person.

  “Hey, man what’s going on? It sounded important.” Chris says.

  “It is. I wanted to tell you some good news.”

  “What is it?”

  “Josh offered me a manager position at one of his shops.”

  “That’s great. Which one?”

  “It’s a couple hours away from here. So, I would be moving.”

  Instantly, I could tell that he was happy for me.

  “I understand. Well, it’s a great opportunity for you. You can’t turn it down.”

  “I knew you would say that.”

  Chapter 28

  Nikki

  A couple of weeks later, I hear Elijah is moving away for a new job. I couldn’t believe it. My heart sunk. I am not happy about the way our relationship ended, but I’m still in love with him. Why would he move away? Why hasn’t he called me to tell me himself? I guess he’s done with me since he didn’t even have the courtesy to reach out to me to let me know.

  I haven’t heard from him since the day our relationship ended. The first two weeks, I had been heartbroken. I cried myself to sleep. I realize that I deserve better. I didn’t deserve to be treated that way. He always told me that. He just never realized that he would be talking about himself treating me that way. If he did one thing, he helped me understand what I am worth. I won’t settle for anything else.

  Things didn’t exactly end well with our relationship, but I thought he would at least have the decency to call me himself to let me know he is moving. I guess not. I’m not important enough to him anymore apparently. I couldn’t help I still had feelings for him. I fell hard and fast for him, and I should have kept my guard up. I shouldn’t have let him in. It never works out in the end for me. I am better off by myself. It’s just how it’s meant to be, and I would become okay with that.

  I didn’t want him to leave. I want him to stay. I hope we would mend our friendship and maybe even our relationship someday. I thought that perhaps eventually he would come to his senses and realize what a complete jackass he was to me. I must let that go. He is going to be moving away. It is really the end of our story. It is going to be a pretty fantastic story too.

  I couldn’t believe that is going to be it. As much as we meant to each other at one point and that is how it ended. I want so badly to at least say goodbye and get some closure, but it didn’t look like that would happen.

  Little did he know, I am going to attend his goodbye party whether I am invited or not. I deserve to be there. I am a part of his life for the last two years, and I feel it’s was necessary that I get to say my goodbyes to him.

  “Hey, I need you to tell me when this going away party is for Elijah,” I tell Rachel.

  “He hasn’t called you?”

  “No, he hasn’t. I would like to come. Don’t you think I should go? I want to say goodbye to him too. Can you tell me?”

  “It’s the day after tomorrow. Six pm.”

  I just want closure. I want to see Elijah one last time before he moves away. There is no telling if he is ever going to come back. I didn’t want our story to end like this. It deserves a better ending.

  I fall asleep thinking about what I am going to say to Elijah when I get there. All the things that I want to say but none of them seemed right. I need to let him know what’s on my mind. I deserve too.

  Chapter 29

  Elijah

  I have been dreading this day for a long time. Today is the day that I must tell Nikki goodbye. I didn’t want to leave her behind but with us not being in such a right place since the breakup, I couldn’t ask her to go with me. I didn’t know what to do. Would she reject me? Did she still love me? How could she after how I ended things?

  I try to imagine my life without her in it, and it is dark. She instilled sunshine in my life. She makes me a man I could be proud of being. Without her, I’m just depressed, but I didn’t want to get rejected. My fear of her refusing me is terrifying. I have been rejected by plenty of women, but she is the only one that counts. Maybe I should ask Chris for advice. I text Chris.

  Me: Hey man, I really need some advice. I just don’t know what to do.

  Chris: What’s going on? Having second thoughts?

  Me: Well no, but you know how I feel about Nikki. I don’t want to leave her behind. But how do I ask a girl that I broke up with to move to a different state with me?

  Chris: That’s complicated. All you can do is tell her how you feel and go from there. If you don’t, then you will regret it. Regret is worse than rejection I would say. Who knows she might say yes.

  Me: You think? What if she doesn’t feel that way about me anymore?

  Chris: If she truly loved you, then feelings that strongly don’t just disappear. Like I said, all you can do is try.

  Maybe he’s right. I should at least try. I didn’t want to regret telling Nikki how I feel. At least it would give us both closure if it goes the wrong way? Should I have her come over to my house? Should I do it when everyone comes over before I leave? Wow, this is terrifying. Sitting here thinking about telling the girl that I love that might not feel the same that I want her to move with me.

  Here goes nothing. I text Nikki.

  Elijah: Hey

  Nikki: Hello?

  Elijah: Hey, could we talk before everyone comes over tonight? There are some things that I think we need to talk about before I leave.

  Me: Sure, I’ll come over now.

  Well, that’s good. At least Nikki agreed to come. That took only the minimal amount of pressure and nervousness away. Now, all I must do was figure out what I am going to say
to her. I need to plead my case. I need her to say yes. I start practicing the things I want to tell her. I start writing things down on a piece of paper so I wouldn’t forget anything. I must lay it all down on the line for this one. It’s approaching time for Nikki to show up and I’m sweating. I couldn’t even describe how I’m feeling at this moment. I know it is only going to get worse when she gets here. Seeing her beautiful face and smile and knowing that it might be the last time. Wait, I need to stay positive. I couldn’t be cynical about this. Positivity would help. I sit on the couch and wait for my doorbell to ring and then it did.

  I sit her down on my couch and start pouring out my heart. I didn’t want to waste any time.

  “I am not sure if we are in a good place right now. I’m not sure how you feel about me anymore at this point. I’m hoping you still feel the same way that I do. I just wanted to apologize for the way that I treated you toward the end of our relationship. Grief consumed me, and I wasn’t me. I didn’t know what I was giving up at the time. I just wanted to be alone.” I say.

  “I understand, but you didn’t have to be such a jerk about it. You basically told me that you didn't know if you wanted to be with me anymore. How do you think that made me feel?”

  “I know it made you feel like utter shit and again that was not my intention at all. I loved you, correction, I still love you and wish that I could take back that day so that we would still be together and happy, but I can’t. Do you still love me?”

  “Of course, I do. I always will love you, but I just don’t know if I would want to take a chance like that again. You just dropped me. You didn’t want anything to do with me. I tried being there for you like you were for me, but you completely pushed me away. It hurt me more than anything!”

  “Nikki, I can’t leave without you knowing how much you mean to me and how much I care about you. I have had a connection with you since the day we met. It’s only gotten stronger since that day.”

  I take a deep breath before finishing. I am shaking.

  “At first, we tried to brush it off because there were just so many things going on in our lives. Finally, we decided to try it, and it worked. We meshed well together. We fell in love with each other. I know that my father’s passing impacted me greatly, but I don’t want that to ruin any future we have together.”

  She looks at me, and I couldn’t tell what is going through her mind. As she stands in front of me, I am pouring my heart out to her. After some awkward silence, she walks over to me and says, “Listen, I don’t understand why you would tell me all of this when you are moving out of state tomorrow. How am I supposed to respond?”

  I didn’t mean to make her cry. I put my hand on her cheek and say, “Nikki, you are the love of my life, and we deserve a second chance. I have been thinking, and I want you to come with me.”

  Chapter 30

  Elijah

  I drive Nikki to her house after the going away party so she could pack a quick bag. We could come back in a week to get the rest of her things, but I must leave tonight. She could have just driven up there separately, but she didn’t want too.

  I am ecstatic that she decided to come with me. I didn’t want to lose her. My life just wouldn’t have been the same without her in it.

  We settled in quickly, and I immediately start working the next day. At work, I am counting down the minutes until I can go home to her. I want to snuggle up on the couch and watch some TV. However, when I get back from work, Nikki is gone. Where is she? Her car is still parked in the driveway. She didn’t know anyone in town to go anywhere. I attempt to call her, but she did not answer. I walk around the house, and the coffee table is overturned. What happened?

  Something happened here. I immediately call the police.

  “911, what’s your emergency?”

  “My girlfriend is missing.”

  “What do you mean she is missing?”

  “I came home from work, and she is not in the house. There are items in the house knocked over, and her car is still in the driveway.”

  “I will alert police officers. Please give me your address so I can send them to you.”

  “801 C St.”

  “They are on their way.”

  We just moved here. We haven’t even been here a week, and Nikki is missing. I couldn’t breathe. I have just gotten her back in my life. How could this happen? Who would want to take her? I call Rachel and Chris and let them know. They are on their way up here. Rachel’s freaking out. About the time I get off the phone with Chris, the police show up.

  “What’s going on, sir?” The police officer asks.

  “I came home, and my girlfriend is gone. Her car is still in the driveway, and we just moved here. She wouldn’t have left with anyone.”

  “Okay, have you tried to contact her?”

  “Yes, but she did not answer.”

  The police look around the house and see the table overturned. They too think something happened.

  “Technically, we can’t submit a missing person report until after forty-eight hours. Please keep in contact with us and let us know if she happens to show up. If not, here is my card. Call me if she is still not home.”

  What did they mean they couldn’t do anything until after forty-eight hours? So many things could happen in forty-eight hours. My mind starts to wander. She could be anywhere and hurt for all I know. I must find her.

  I start to think. Who would want to hurt Nikki? Immediately, Dwayne came to mind, but he’s gone. There isn’t any way that this could have been him. What about his mom? Nikki has said his mom threatened us. Could she have found out where we lived? Doubt it. I call Chris and tell him to turn around since I am heading there. I didn’t know how to even start trying to find out where Dwayne’s mom lived. It is the only person that would have a reason to come for Nikki.

  A couple of hours later, I pull up to Chris and Rachel’s. I didn’t knock; I just walk right in. The drive over here is awful. So many appalling things go through my head. I keep hearing her screaming for help in my head. I hope Nikki is okay. I’m hurting for her. She is the love of my life, and I didn’t want anything to happen to her. I tell her that I am going to protect her from hurt, but I didn’t. I sit down on the couch next to Chris.

  “We will find her!” Chris says.

  All I could hear is Rachel crying. She is heartbroken and scared for her best friend. We all are. We couldn’t believe anyone would want to hurt her. The only person that remotely came to mind was Dwayne’s mom.

  “So, I thought of something on the way over here. Do you think it could have been Dwayne’s mom?” I ask.

  “You think she is capable of doing something like this?”

  “Well, at first, no one thought that Dwayne was capable of what he did to Nikki, but he was.” I explain and it is true. No one ever thought Dwayne would hurt Nikki like he did.

  “Good point.”

  “I guess it’s possible. I don’t know anyone else that would possibly want to hurt Nikki or a have a problem.”

  “We will have to figure out where she lives.”

  How did you find out someone’s address? Could you look it up online? Maybe we could ask around town. Inevitably, someone would know where she lives. They have lived here almost all their lives. That’s what we will do.

  “Let’s try and get some sleep, and we will start asking around tomorrow. That’s all we can do.”

  I lay down on the couch and close my eyes. All I could see is an array of darkness. I feel a sudden burst of cold air. Nikki is in the dark and crying out for my help. She needs me.

  Chapter 31

  Nikki

  It’s so dark that I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face. It feels like my nose and feet are frozen due to there being no heat in this basement. Seriously, no heat in the dead of winter? She must really want to kill me. I just want to get out of here. I didn’t know what I did to deserve this.

  I never thought she had been capable of something like this. Dwayne a
nd his family sure did hide their scary side well. Her son is the one who did all those horrible things to me. Why would she blame me for any of it? I guess that’s what mothers did. They believe the best in their sons. At some point, they must realize what they are thinking is false. She has yet to understand that. All I can do is remind her of what happened and hope that she will come to her senses before she did anything to me.

  I hear a door open and see some light come in the room.

  “Hello?” I call out.

  “Here is some water,” she says to me.

  “Why are you doing this?”

  “I told you that I wouldn’t let you get away with what you did to Dwayne. I warned you!”

  “I didn’t do anything wrong. Your son beat me. Your son showed up at my house and tried to kidnap me. Don’t you understand? How can you blame me for that?”

  I am trying to explain to her and beg her to understand, but she doesn’t. She doesn’t want to believe me. Her judgment is clouded.

  “You keep saying these things, but I know Dwayne would never do that. I will never believe anything you say about him. Just stop talking about him in vain. He was a wonderful man and was taken by idiots.”

  She slaps me so hard that my face feels like it’s on fire. I know my cheek is a flushed pink color.

  “Don’t you ever repeat anything about my son. Don’t you, ever. You lost that right a long time ago,” she says as she walks out of the room.

  I am never going to get her to believe me. She never had a mean side to her before the incident with Dwayne. She has always been this thoughtful and sweet older lady. She changed. What happened to this family? It’s like they are amazing people one day and then totally bat crazy the next. All I can think is what I could say to change the outcome of my fate here in this basement? Is there anything that I can say that might make her change her mind about killing me?

  My mouth feels like sandpaper, so I am thankful for the water. I wish I could get some heat turned on. Although, I guess the point isn’t to make me comfortable since I am a prisoner. My mind is trying to stay sane. I haven’t been down here that long, but I wonder what Elijah is doing? By this time, he knows I’m gone and would have noticed the out of place stuff. I did that on purpose so he wouldn’t think I just left him. What is she going to do to me?