Folly and Forgiveness: A Pride and Prejudice Variation

by Lizzy Brandon

  Elizabeth was stunned. She opened her mouth, but could not speak. Ten thousand pounds? Why on earth would Mr. Darcy part with such a sum to save Lydia? This did not make any sense. But no, her father had said to save her.

  She sat in the nearest chair. Her father did not look pleased, but Elizabeth could not tell how much of his ire might be directed at herself. “You must be mistaken. He would not do such a thing for me. I do not know how you arrived at such a conclusion.”

  “Mr. Wickham was eager to greet us and unsurprised to see Mr. Darcy in our party. He seemed to believe Mr. Darcy would pay handsomely, not for Lydia’s sake but for your own.”

  “I do not understand. Are you saying Mr. Wickham eloped with Lydia to extort money from Mr. Darcy?”

  “I do not know if that was his original intent, but that was his plan when we arrived.”

  “He cannot pay such a price,” she murmured.

  “I must ask again, Elizabeth: What has gone on between you and Mr. Darcy? Has he intimated this degree of attachment to you? Do you have an understanding you have not mentioned to me?”

  Elizabeth cheeks warmed as she looked down. “We have no understanding, Sir. At Rosings, I became aware of his attachment, but informed him nothing could come of it. I do not understand why he would make any financial offer on Lydia’s behalf after my rejection.” Elizabeth looked up to gauge her father’s reaction and saw him carefully considering her words.

  “Have no fear, Lizzy. I will not force you to marry him.”

  “He would not attempt to force my hand,” she snapped, “and to suggest such is repugnant.”

  “He would not need force, only your own feeling of indebtedness.”

  “I can assure you, that was not his intent. He is not that kind of man.”

  Her response surprised her father, who looked at her oddly.

  “How did you reject him?” Elizabeth could hear the confusion in her father’s voice, but could offer little clarity as she was as bewildered as he.

  “He made no explicit offer, but I informed him I could not marry him, given his disdain for my family. I will not give up my family for my husband’s convenience. By the time we met in Kent, I already knew he was a better man than I had given him credit for, given what happened the last time we met in Hertfordshire. He even changed in his behavior and addresses towards me, though I did not realize at first that he had done so. He was far more open than I had seen him previously. Still, I could not accept him when his pride would not allow him to accept all my relations.”

  “And what of your visit to Pemberley?”

  “His manners were so different I could not understand him. He welcomed the Gardiners and conversed with them of his own initiative. When a storm forced us to stay the night, he did everything to make us comfortable. He even had a less formal supper served so we would not feel underdressed for dinner. Truly, he was a different man than the one we knew in Hertfordshire. I was puzzled, but pleased by his efforts. Then Charlotte’s note arrived.”

  Elizabeth wiped a tear from her cheek. “Whatever his intentions may have been, they could not withstand such evidence of family frailty. Whatever his feelings, he will make no offer now.”

  Elizabeth ignored her father’s silent gaze. He had answered her questions and she had no desire to answer further ones from him. She was disturbed by the information he had shared and needed time alone to consider what it all meant.

  “I will see to Lydia now. Goodnight, Sir.”

  Elizabeth left her father behind and walked to the room she shared with Jane. There she found Jane and Lydia.

  “Hello Lizzy. I was just telling Jane that you shall both be my bridesmaids.”

  “Thank you for my share of the offer, but I have no wish to participate in this farce.”

  “Oh, la, Lizzy. Do not be so grumpy that I shall marry Mr. Wickham after he was a favorite of yours. Jealousy is not becoming.”

  “Lydia, you are a fool and you are marrying a dissolute man of no honor.”

  “There is no need to be nasty just because he left you.”

  “Is that what he told you?” Elizabeth took a step closer and Jane quickly placed herself between the two sisters.

  “As he is to soon be our brother, the past is best forgot, Lizzy,” Jane advised.

  Lydia smirked at Elizabeth. “And once Mr. Darcy pays us, we shall live quite well indeed.”

  “Mr. Darcy?” Jane asked, turning to Lydia. “Why would Mr. Darcy pay you?”

  “My Wickham planned it so we would have money to live on. He knew Mr. Darcy would come and pay him. That man already owes Mr. Wickham so much that this is but a pittance.”

  Elizabeth went cold. “Lydia, did you tell Mr. Wickham that we were to visit Pemberley?”

  “Of course. I thought it would be a good joke to tell him how you would have to endure Mr. Darcy once more.”

  “Is that when Mr. Wickham began to pay more attention to you?” Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed as a great weight settled over her. That Mr. Darcy would pay so much for her benefit had shocked Elizabeth. That her own sister had enabled Mr. Wickham to design his trap added yet another layer of guilt to her pain.

  “Oh, he always paid attention to me. We were ever such good friends, even back in Meryton before he left. When we met him again in Brighton he was so surprised.”

  “No doubt he was.”

  “Yes, and after we had talked to him and told him all the gossip he had missed, we asked him why he had gone away, and told him of the frightful stories people had told of him once he left. That was when he explained to us that he had to leave before he broke your heart, Lizzy. He knew how much you grew to care for him and did not want to add heartbreak to your grief when he could not return your feelings.”

  The room began to spin a bit as Elizabeth stared at her sister, unable to comprehend that Lydia believed what she was saying. Thinking back to that day always made Elizabeth feel ill, but never like this. Once again Elizabeth found herself wondering if she was dreaming, because what she was hearing could not possibly be real. She certainly did not feel awake, so perhaps she was dreaming.

  Jane spoke to Lydia, but Elizabeth could not quite make out the words. They both sounded so far away right now.

  The man had attempted to force himself upon her. Now Lydia believed he had left her pining for him. He had held her so tightly as she struggled that she had his hand prints bruised into her arms for a great many days afterward. She dared not even think about the nightmares that had plagued her in the following weeks, that still haunted her on occasion.

  Elizabeth began to laugh, dizzy with the utter insanity of it all.

  “Lizzy?” Elizabeth looked to Jane, but she seemed to be fading away. The next thing Elizabeth knew, Jane was at her side and pushing Elizabeth’s head down to her knees.

  “Breathe, Lizzy. Deep breaths now.” Jane rubbed her back and pushed her back down when Elizabeth attempted to rise. “Not yet, you are still quite pale. Stay there and just breathe.”

  Jane no longer sounded so far away, so Elizabeth assumed she must be recovering. Unfortunately, that also meant she was not dreaming. She attempted to rise again and this time Jane did not stop her. The room again spun and Elizabeth felt herself sway before Jane helped her to lie upon the bed.

  “What is wrong with Lizzy? It is not like her to faint.”

  “Lydia, go and fetch Aunt Gardiner. Lizzy just needs some rest.”

  “I do not need rest and you should not send her away. We did not tell her the truth once and you see what has resulted. She will know the truth now.”

  “Lizzy, the man is soon to be her husband.”

  “Which is why she must know what he is now.” Elizabeth waved Jane away as she sat up a bit, leaning back against pillows and the headboard for support.

  “The man you are so eager to marry, who you assisted to extort money from a noble and generous gentleman, your Mr. Wickham is a man of the vilest character. He did not leave Meryton because he wished
to prevent my broken heart. He left because he was to be arrested for assaulting me.”

  “I do not believe you.”

  “Believe what you will, but I will tell you the truth. He swore his love for me as he attempted to kiss me. When I fought back he held me tighter until I did not know how I should escape. Had Mr. Darcy not come upon us when he did . . .” Elizabeth swallowed as she remembered the terror of that moment.

  “Lizzy –”

  “No, Jane. I will not be silent any longer.” Elizabeth attempted to push herself up, but her arms were trembling too much to be of any use to her. “Mr. Darcy hit him so hard I feared Mr. Wickham was dead. By the time he returned with Colonel Forster, Mr. Wickham was gone.”

  Lydia had paled as her sister spoke.

  “That cannot be true,” Lydia said, though she no longer sounded so sure.

  “It is. That is why you and Kitty were told not to so much as speak to him ever again. You were warned to stay clear of the man because he is not fit company for ladies. I left to come here, to Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, to escape any possible talk. You asked me the morning Mary and I left for London how I had managed to bruise my wrist. I told you I slipped while walking a snowy path. I should have told you Mr. Wickham held me, despite my struggling and pleading, then threw me to the ground when Mr. Darcy arrived.”

  “No.”

  “That is the man you wish to marry, with whom you left your family and friends to elope and involve us all in your shame. Yet you have not the decency to even feel any shame for what you have put everyone through. Have you ever thought that Mr. Bingley might refuse to marry Jane? I do not believe the marriage contract has been finalized, so he would be well within his rights to do so and avoid a connection with our disgrace.

  “Tell me, if Mr. Darcy had not come to your rescue with his ten-thousand-pound offer, would Mr. Wickham still marry you? I can promise you he would not. He would leave you ruined and alone. What was your plan if Mr. Wickham was wrong and Mr. Darcy did not come?”

  “He would have married me. He loves me.”

  “Mr. Wickham loves only himself. He has already attempted to elope with at least one other heiress. He would have thrown you over and looked for another gullible young girl with money.”

  Lydia stood there in silence and Elizabeth knew her words were finally getting through to her sister.

  “Mr. Wickham has done nothing but beg for money from Mr. Darcy and when that failed, he began schemes to extort the money from him. Mr. Darcy is a man of good character and compassion who has done his best to protect our family from Mr. Wickham’s evil deeds. Why did you think he would pay Mr. Wickham now? Mr. Darcy has nothing to gain or lose for himself.”

  “Mr. Wickham said Mr. Darcy loved you and would pay to protect you.”

  “You would throw yourself away on such a man? One seeking reward from a generous gentleman attempting to protect others? Mr. Darcy did love me, but he will not after this. He will certainly not align himself with a family such as ours.”

  Elizabeth paused to catch her breath as Lydia twisted her fingers under her sister’s glare. “Congratulations on your upcoming wedding, Lydia. You and Wickham have succeeded in turning your loss of respectability into a reward worthy event. May you find much joy with each other.”

  Elizabeth laid back down and turned her back on Lydia. She had nothing more to say and no desire to see the destroyer of her hopes any longer.

  CHAPTER 40

  Elizabeth rose early the next morning, as was her custom. She felt heavy, as if the burdens of the last week had taken physical form to land upon her shoulders.

  Lydia would marry in the next few days and then they would return to Longbourn. Mr. Darcy may have already returned to Pemberley. Elizabeth had no way of knowing and was afraid to ask.

  That he should take on such mortification for her sake was astounding. Could he truly care for her so much? Elizabeth could not comprehend how that was possible. Mr. Darcy despised Wickham, yet had gone searching for the man. He had traversed the worst parts of London. He had dealt with those so far beneath his notice as to make her own family resemble nobility. Why? Did he mean to show her that he could change? She had seen enough evidence of his change in behavior at Pemberley. He need not have subjected himself to such misery on her account now.

  She needed to get out of the house. More than anything, she longed to walk the paths at home. No, even more than that she wished to walk the path to the clearing at Pemberley. She wished to watch the ducks float upon the pond from Mr. Darcy’s magic rock and find the answers she sought.

  She could not walk along Gracechurch street alone and there were no wooded paths remotely nearby. She would have to settle for sitting in the back garden. She headed toward the rear of the house, and bumped into her father.

  “Hello, Lizzy. How are you this morning?”

  “Good morning, Papa. I am feeling rather confined if I am honest. I am missing home, and the ability to head out for a walk whenever I wish to clear my head.”

  “I understand, my dear. I miss my library as well. It may not be a path of silence and solitude, but Hyde Park should be empty enough at this hour. Take the carriage and get out of the house for an hour or two.”

  “Are you certain? I know you still have much business to attend to today.”

  “Now that Lydia is back, I will not need to go anywhere this morning. If something should come up, your uncle’s carriage will still be available. Go and enjoy what peace you can. With Lydia here, you will find little enough of it once you return.” Surprised by the offer, Elizabeth expressed her thanks and went to fetch a bonnet while her father ordered the carriage made ready.

  Before long, Elizabeth was walking the paths of Hyde Park. It was beautiful, but its beauty still could not compete with the simple joy she found in the trails around Longbourn. The park would have to suffice. She knew she was able to think better when she was moving, and hoped a walk would enable her to solve the puzzle in which she found herself caught. If nothing else, she would at least avoid Lydia a bit longer.

  Elizabeth was disgusted with Lydia and Wickham. They were using an upright man’s honor against himself for profit. And they would profit. Elizabeth could not imagine Mr. Darcy withdrawing his financial support once offered. She both wished and feared that he would. Had she been alone at Longbourn, she could have started throwing rocks at trees again. Unfortunately, she had no such privacy here, and refused to cause further damage to her family’s reputation.

  “Miss Elizabeth.”

  Elizabeth jumped. “Forgive me, Mr. Darcy. I did not observe you approach.”

  “And yet we have been walking towards one another for quite a distance.”

  “I fear my mind was wandering and I paid no attention to where I was going.”

  “Understandable. May I walk with you?”

  Elizabeth nodded, not trusting her voice at the moment. They walked in an uncomfortable silence, much as they had back in Kent. She knew not what to say, but knew she must say something.

  “I must thank you for your efforts in locating my sister, however little she deserved them. I am ashamed of her behavior towards you and must ask your forgiveness.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for.”

  “I fear that I do. I understand that you have pledged a considerable sum to force Mr. Wickham to marry her.”

  Mr. Darcy brushed something off his jacket. “Your sister would not have been targeted by the man, if not for your connection with me. I believe he wished to punish you as well, so this scheme of his was rather efficient.”

  “You have done nothing wrong. You should not pay him. I cannot stand to see him benefit from his actions.”

  “You are wrong. I failed to stop him. For that sin, I should pay. He could not have hurt your sister had I stopped him after Meryton. He could not have hurt you had I stopped him after Ramsgate.”

  “And how would you have stopped him? You are not responsible for his actions.”

 
“I could have bought his debts and had him thrown in prison. Even had I not imprisoned him, I could have bought his cooperation and good behavior with the threat.”

  “I do not believe you could. He is not a man to accept defeat and would have found some way to lash out at you or escape the leash you put upon him.”

  “Nevertheless, I feel a responsibility.”

  “Because of me?” she asked, looking up to see his reaction.

  Darcy shifted uncomfortably. “Much as I admire your family, I will admit that I acted to protect you alone.”

  “I am not worth such a price.”

  “I say you are. You know my feelings.”

  Elizabeth became flustered. “Then do not acquiesce. Do not allow him to use me in his vendetta against you.”

  “I see no alternative. I will not see you harmed by that man again.”

  “Mr. Darcy, please.” She stopped and turned to face him. “I cannot see you pay that man. I know I speak against my own self-interest, but please, do not. You and I can have no future together.”

  Mr. Darcy’s eyebrows lowered. “If you do not return my feelings, you have only to say the word.”

  “I will not have you come to despise me, which is what will happen if he is allowed to use your feelings as a weapon against yourself. You could not marry me if he is my brother. I would not see you connected to him forever in such a way.”

  “You do not seem to understand what I am willing to do for you, Elizabeth.”

  “But you are not the only one to be affected. You cannot connect Miss Darcy to him or risk her marriage prospects for me. It is too much to ask and you will grow to hate me.”

  “I could never hate you. I have told you, I love you.”

  “My own mother did not even love me that much,” she snapped in frustration. “How can you expect such emotion to last – especially in the face of such challenges? I could not bear to see that love fade as you come to see all I have cost you. We cannot have a future with Mr. Wickham between us.”