Love is Only a Whisper (Whisper Series)

by Wynn, Renee

  “Why in the hell are you bringing that up? It happened a long time ago, Brody.” Ashton threw his best friend a murderous look. “Victoria was a mistake.”

  “Yeah. She was your friend first who made the mistake of falling in love with you. You should’ve stopped it but you didn’t.”

  “Damn.” He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. “I didn’t see it coming. I never thought of her more than a friend who hung out with us. We were all at Harvard busting our asses to get the best grades. Yeah, I screwed around…a lot. Did I think about sleeping her with her? Who didn’t? She was gorgeous, but I didn’t want to cross the line of friendship. To me she was just one of the gang.”

  “I told you she wanted more. You didn’t listen. She wasn’t the type of girl to just have sex. It meant something to her.”

  “She was only a friend.”

  “Until you woke up in her bed.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you, I was drunk? We were all celebrating acing the finals and looking forward to graduation. I barely remember having sex with her. Hell, I should’ve listened when you told me Victoria had a crush on me. I thought she would get over it.”

  “But she didn’t.”

  “No, she didn’t,” he said roughly. “That’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. I wish I could go back and change it, but I can’t.”

  “You’ve always been an ass. I don’t believe you can ever change that fact. When Victoria assumed you and she were an item, you were callous in your rejection. You could’ve let her down easy. But you treated her like any other girl you screwed. You crushed her.”

  “Hell, I said some things that I regretted.”

  “Son of a bitch.” Brody snorted. “Regrets? It’s a little too late for that. It’s something you should’ve told Victoria when you had the chance.”

  There was full anger in Brody’s voice that surprised Ashton. He stared at his friend for a long time. “It happened twelve years ago but it still eats at me. She was a drug user, Brody, heavily into heroin. I didn’t know. Hell, I don’t think anyone knew she used drugs to stay afloat in college.”

  “I should’ve known. She was my friend. Once she was hooked, it controlled her,” Brody said softly.

  “I know.” He paused for a moment. “Am I missing something here? Where is all the anger at me coming from?”

  Brody offered a short, coarse laugh. “What happened to her should’ve never happened.”

  Ashton stared at him. “You were in love with her.”

  “Victoria wasn’t in love with me.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt?”

  “Every girl you wanted, you got. Shit, you even got the ones you didn’t want.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  Brody ran a hand over his face and squeezed his eyes tight. “Nothing. I’m tired.” He rolled his neck to relieve the tension, stood, and walked to the bar. He poured a drink but didn’t drink it. “So Nicole is the one, huh?”

  With Brody’s change in topic, Ashton knew the conversation about Victoria was over but he wasn’t done with it. Brody and he were close but when it came to women they never discussed their relationships. In time they would talk. But for now, he would let it go.

  “Nicole changed me. I know it’s hard for you believe but she has. She’s something else. The woman is strong, independent, and opinionated. She makes me laugh. But there’s also a feeling attached to me that I can’t explain. It creates a possessiveness, a fear that I’ve never experienced before…of losing her.” He cleared his throat. “I’m at peace when I’m with her.”

  Embarrassed about how much he shared, heat spread across his face. Never had he talked about his feelings with anyone before. Most people assumed he didn’t have any. It felt strange.

  “She can’t be your redemption, Ashton.”

  “This has nothing to do with redemption.”

  Brody’s eyes widened with disbelief. “Damn! You’re really in love with her.”

  Ashton squinted. “You didn’t believe me.”

  “Now I know why your eyes were always following her when she was around us. This love thing with you has caught me unaware.”

  Ashton laughed sardonically, “Caught you unaware? How you think I feel? It happened to me years ago. I’ve learned to live with it.”

  “Wow. You never said a word.”

  “Why would I? I thought she belonged to my brother…until recently.”

  “I sure need a drink on this one.” Brody lifted the glass of whiskey he’d poured and saluted Ashton. He took a sip and made a face. “Ah, I never could stand this stuff.”

  “Then why in the hell do you drink it?”

  He gulped the rest of the liquid. “Courage. And it helps me to forget,” he said stonily.

  Ashton stared at his friend, looking past the façade that Brody always had in place. Something was bothering him but his friend wouldn’tt talk unless he wanted to.

  Brody set down the empty glass. “Does Nicole know you love her?”

  “No.”

  “Are you going to tell her?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “She’s in love with Brent.”

  “Oh, that complicates things.”

  Ashton mimicked Brody by pouring whiskey in a glass and swallowing it. “Brent is married.”

  “Whoa. When did this happen?”

  “Two months ago.”

  “She finally snared him. I have to send a congratulatory gift.”

  “She loves him, Brody. She has for a very long time. He just needs to realize it.”

  “Never thought you could be sentimental.”

  “You’re cynical as usual.”

  “Since Brent and Nicole were always so tight, I thought they would end up together.”

  Ashton snorted. “Nicole isn’t an option. She belongs with me.”

  Brody lifted his brow. “Do you know what you’re saying?”

  For a moment there was silence. The only thing that could be heard was the hum of the crickets outside the closed window. “Yeah, I do.”

  Brent said, seriously. “Don’t mess this up, Ashton.”

  “I don’t intend to.”

  Brody walked toward him. “You need to tell her about Victoria. Don’t start off with secrets. It’ll never turn out good.”

  “Not now, Brody.”

  “If you don’t someone else will tell her. They won’t make it pretty.”

  Ashton seethed and slammed his glass on the bar counter. “I don’t give a damn what you think. I’m done with it. The topic is closed.”

  “It won’t go away.”

  “How am I supposed to explain it? I won’t let this come between us.”

  “Begin with the truth. Victoria took a fatal dose of heroin, got into your bed and waited for you to find her.”

  “But, I was too late.”

  “Victoria’s death wasn’t your fault,” Brody said.

  Ashton threw him a hard look. “Tell my head because it doesn’t seem to be listening,” he grated out and stormed from the room, leaving Brody alone.

  ###

  The next morning Ashton stood on the patio connected to his bedroom still pissed about what had transpired between him and Brody. At breakfast, Ashton had been barely civil while Brody carried the limited conversation as if nothing happened.

  That had always been Brody’s makeup. He was the peacemaker when it came to their friendship and never held a grudge.

  Ashton sipped the now-cold coffee and swore. Why in the hell did Brody need to bring up Victoria? He hadn’t thought of her for a long time. It was so many years ago that he’d tried to forget the incident that changed his life, storing it in the far compartments of his brain. Revisiting one of the worse times in his life wasn’t something he needed right now. There still was no closure.

  First turning to alcohol to deal with the tragedy, he finally sought private counseling to deal with the
guilt, shame and pain he’d experience due to Victoria’s suicide. Although, his father knew what happened that night with Victoria, he’d kept it from the rest of the family. Only Brody knew of the destructive path he’d started down.

  Brody wanted him to give full disclosure of the episode to Nicole and he refused to do that. Telling Nicole that a girl he’d slept with took an apparent drug overdose and was found in his bed wouldn’t change anything. Victoria was still dead and he was still living with the guilt.

  The authorities ruled it as an accidental death but it didn’t change the truth. Now to make matters worse, Brody had been in love with her. Damn, why hadn’t he seen it? But he wouldn’t let the past destroy the future he planned with Nicole.

  He’d given her almost a full week to come to a conclusion about them. His Nicole didn’t take ultimatums. She was stubborn and could be unpredictable.

  His cellphone chirped, he pulled the offending instrument from his pocket and barked, “Sinclair!” While he listened, his hand tightened around the phone. “I’ll not accept any mistakes.”

  Strolling back into the room, he opened his suitcase and began to pack.

  ###

  In her bedroom, Nicole folded clothes into the suitcase while she held the phone to her ear listening to her best friends, Danielle and Sally talk. But her mind kept going back to the pregnancy stick sitting on the lid of the toilet tank. She’d a light period that lasted only for half of a day. Since that had never happened before, she thought there might be a problem. So she’d selected a random doctor out of the directory and called for a consultation. She’d been directed to a physician assistant. After asking uncomfortable questions that she squirmed through, the nasal-nosed woman final questioned her about the possibility of pregnancy. Although, Ashton had been adamant about her being pregnant she had pushed the thought out of her mind.

  Nicole took the test earlier and nervously waited the required minutes. That was three hours ago but it felt like seconds had only passed. Bringing in her thoughts, she tried to concentrate on the three-way conversation going on.

  “Happy Birthday, Nicole,” Sally sang through the phone.

  “You should be with us celebrating,” Danielle Evans shouted from an extension line.

  Danielle was an African-American supermodel with one of the top agencies in New York. Although they all had been honored role students, she was the smartest. She turned down a full four-year scholarship to Yale so she could attend the same school, the University of Houston, with her and Sally.

  Nicole smiled. “Ah…Thanks. I forgot it was today.”

  Her birthday was a day she usually enjoyed with her friends filled with laughter and celebration. But this year her life had changed in ways she would’ve never envisioned a year ago.

  “Wow. You really are stressed if you forgot your birthday. Our birthdays are the high point of the year. You’re in a funk, girl. You need to come to Europe right now,” Sally screamed.

  Nicole didn’t say anything while she mulled over an answer. She didn’t have to wait long before she heard Danielle’s cajoling tone.

  “Nicole, although, London is a little cool for summer, we’re still having a great time. And the men… well, I can’t begin to tell you how many hunks our girl Sally encountered in a week. She’s having the time of her life,” Danielle said.

  “Speak for yourself. You’re never without male attention.”

  “I’m so glad you made it, Danielle. Now maybe Sally will leave alone,” Nicole chuckled.

  “Don’t count on it. You know she has to be all up into our business.”

  Sally grunted. “I’m still on the phone and hear every word.”

  “We know Sally,” Danielle laughed. “Now back to you, Nicole. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Hey, I heard congratulations are in order for you.”

  After getting that coveted job with Dream Lake Modeling and becoming the face of Adore Cosmetics in New York, they hadn’t seen much of Danielle.

  As she was with Sally, there was also a special bond between her and Danielle.

  Sally giggled. “Danielle is in the big league now, living in New York, hobnobbing with princes and such. She’s still mouthy and can make a strong man back up with one of her glares.”

  “Sally, your mouth can outdo mine any day of the week. Maybe that’s why you can’t get a man.”

  “I do date.”

  “Since when?”

  “Ladies, please. You both need to learn how use your charm. You give Texas a bad name,” Nicole retorted.

  “Real funny. Look I got to go. I have a conference call with my agent and a potential client,” Danielle said.

  Nicole sighed. “Okay, phone calls are not enough. I miss you.”

  “I know. I promise to get to Dallas soon. I love you.”

  “Love too.” Nicole heard the click on the line. “Sally, are you still there?”

  “Yes. It’s funny that Danielle never wanted to be a model. I can remember the day when she got back to the dorm and told us some fool handed her a card in the campus café, telling her to call him because she had great facial features for modeling. If it hadn’t been for you and me pushing her to call the man back, she would be practicing law or something.

  “I know. She wanted to be a criminal lawyer but everything still turned out well for her.”

  “Now all she needs is a man.”

  “Sally, you’re one to talk. I don’t see you having a significant other.”

  “I love men. I just don’t want to settle down. The sea is too full.”

  Nicole chuckled. “You’re a nut.”

  Sally laughed and then was quiet for moment and finally her somber voice came through the line. “You never answered my question. Are you coming to Europe?”

  “No.”

  “Are you going back to Dallas?

  “I…” Nicole stumbled over her words not wanting to lie again to her friend.

  “Wait a minute. What are you doing?”

  She was silent for a moment. “Packing.”

  “You’re not coming to Europe; you’re not going home to Dallas, then where in the heck are you going? Nicole, does this have something to do with Ashton Sinclair?”

  Nicole let out a deep sigh. “I have been thinking a lot this past week and my life right now is a little out of sync.”

  “You didn’t answer the question?”

  “No, I didn’t”

  “Okay. I know when to quit. But don’t you think you’ve had enough time to think and be alone?”

  “Not now, Sally.”

  “I hate when you do that.”

  “What?”

  “Evade the issue especially when you don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Damn. Why can’t I have some peace? Is that too much to ask?”

  “Alright. Calm down. I respect your privacy.”

  “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

  “Nothing you say is going to piss me off. You don’t want to talk about Ashton.. You can’t keep pushing things under the rug, Nicole.”

  “I know that—” The doorbell rang with two quick pulses. “Sal, someone is at the door. I told my neighbor, I would come over to say good-bye but she must have gotten tired of waiting, I got to go.”

  “You told me she’s a little nosey but it sounds as if she’s pushy also.”

  An impatient ringing was now resonating through the house. “Look, Sally, I promise we’ll talk soon.”

  Nicole clicked off, threw the phone on the nightstand, and hurried to the door. Looking through the peephole, she saw Ashton on the doorstep. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. His dark Armani jacket hung open, revealing a black starched shirt beneath. She noticed the mix of imprudent and intensity that was his alone. Even though, he’d been gone a week, she felt the awareness that unalterably rippled through her like a deep tremor whenever she saw him. His eyes scrolled her face. Then, breaking the contact, he strolled in.

  “What are you doing here?” s
he asked.

  “Helping you make up your mind.”

  “You’re going back on your word.”

  “Never. You need my help to make the decision that will benefit us both.”

  Nicole rolled her eyes at him. “You’re making up the rules as you go along. You’re not being fair, Ashton.”

  “I never said I would be.” His hard gaze held hers, dark and unreadable. “Pretend I’m not here.”

  She closed the door and planted her hands on her hips. “I’m not going to argue with you. I’m busy. Besides you promised and I’m holding you to it.”

  “You’re running again, Nicole,” he stated roughly.

  Did he know her bags were packed? She dropped her eyes to hide her guilt. She chanced a peep at him and he didn’t look happy but that wasn’t anything unusual. He always looked as if he was sucking on a sour piece of candy. Sugar wouldn’t have been able to soften Ashton’s face or his disposition at the moment.

  “I’m not running.”

  “You’re lying to my face.”

  “What?”

  “You’re leaving this evening.”

  Her eyes widened at his words. “How did you—” Her lips clapped down tight. “You’re having me followed? How dare you!” she uttered with disgust.

  He remained silent.

  “You son of a bitch!”

  “I dare anything when it comes to you. I won’t apologize for it.”

  “Go to hell” She wanted to scream more profanity but instead twisted her fingers together and tried to be calm. Counting to ten, she took a deep breath. “I won’t let you rush me. I need to talk to Brent. I’ve always talked over things with him before I make any decisions in my life.”

  “I’ll be damned if I’ll let you go anywhere near my brother.”

  “Who the hell do you think you are?”

  “I’m the man that asked you for a future and I won’t share it with another man.”

  “Your ego is talking.”

  “Did you forget he has a wife?”

  “No, I didn’t, but that doesn’t change my friendship with him. Melissa and I know each other. Although, we aren’t what you would call friends, we are acquaintances. She knows that Brent and I have been close since I was fifteen.”

  “That’s the problem. No wife wants another woman around who has a claim on her husband’s heart, whether emotional or not. I don’t want you around Brent.”