No Reason to Trust

by Tess Gerritsen

  Feelings was a strong word.

  She appreciated his help. He was her knight in shining armor, ripping her out of the hands of killers. Who wouldn’t be wowed by that? What she experienced was gratitude. Nothing more. So why did she feel the need to remind herself of the fact?

  One thing she knew for certain was that she’d been so tired last night she scarcely remembered taking a shower or changing into bedclothes. Nick had brought them in while she was showering, saying he’d borrowed them from one of his sisters. She didn’t even want to think of the current running through her at the realization she was completely naked behind the shower curtain not five feet from him.

  How long had it been since she’d been held by a man? Two years.

  The last time she and Tom were together they’d had their usual Friday night movie at his place. He’d ordered deep-dish pizza from their favorite restaurant on the corner just as they had every week for the entire year and a half they’d been dating. If anything, Tom was consistent. Boring?

  Where did that come from?

  To be fair, her ex was a little too predictable, but he was also decent. There were no surprises when it came to Tom, and Sadie appreciated him for it. Wasn’t knowing she could count on someone a good thing?

  Why did it suddenly feel as though she’d been settling?

  Her aunt had been unpredictable, and look how their relationship had ended. Sadie had felt no need to visit the woman one last time before she’d left Chicago.

  The time she’d stopped by after her first semester of community college, her aunt had practically blocked the door. Sadie’s excitement at having made good grades shriveled inside her at her aunt’s reaction to seeing her. She’d expected a warm greeting, and chided herself for being foolish when she didn’t receive one.

  When she pressed to come inside so she could pick up a few of her things, her aunt had turned on the tears. She’d complained of not having space or enough money for rent before delivering a crushing blow. She’d sold all of Sadie’s belongings.

  Her heart broke that day.

  She’d left many of her prized possessions behind until she got settled in her new place. Between work, class and study, she hadn’t had time to stop by and retrieve them once the semester hit full stride.

  Gone was her mother’s wedding ring. Gone was the baby blanket her mother had crocheted for her when she was born. Gone was her father’s revered vintage coin collection.

  Everything from her parents had been sold, stripped away from her.

  She’d stood in the doorway, feeling raw, exposed and orphaned all over again.

  Her stomach twisted, the pain so very real. Even now.

  Tom could be unyielding, but he would never have done that to her.

  Did he make her pulse race the way being around Nick did? No. She and Nick ran from bullets and murderers. Of course her blood would be pumping and her adrenaline surging. And he did so much more to her on the inside. Her heart fluttered when he was close. Electricity pulsed between them. Her thighs warmed.

  The comparison to Tom was apples and oranges. She loved Tom. Didn’t she?

  Not the same thing, a little voice told her. She ignored it. When this blew over, she would still end up alone with a new identity, a new lie. If she survived. Grimes seemed intent on making sure she never had to hide again. Or breathe.

  She pushed aside those heavy unproductive thoughts and slipped on the jeans. They fit well enough. She cinched her waist with the belt and pulled on the T-shirt.

  After dressing, she moved down the hall toward the sounds of voices, her heartbeat climbing with each step closer. There had to be at least six or seven people in the room. She followed the chatter, stopping at the door to the kitchen where a handful of people sat around the table. Her nerves stringing tighter with each forward step.

  Nick stood at the kitchen sink, looking out the window.

  The oldest woman, the one who had to be Gran, sat with a large pair of scissors and a stack of cloth. She met eyes with Sadie first. “C’mon on in, dear. Take a seat. Nick will get you a cup of coffee.”

  Nick had already begun pouring.

  When attention turned toward Sadie, she wished she had the power to shrink. She knew all of two people in the Campbell family. Nick and Luke. And Luke wasn’t in the room. She tentatively stepped inside, her back plastered against the door frame. Her heart pounded her chest and her breath came out in short bursts. She almost turned back and retreated to her room, offering an excuse about needing to go to the bathroom. Families were scary.

  “Go ahead and sit, dear. We’re a loud bunch, but we don’t bite.” Gran motioned toward the chair next to hers. She looked younger than her years. Her white hair was in a tight bun positioned on the crown of her head. She wore jeans with a blouse, and a turquoise necklace with matching earrings.

  Sadie eased onto the edge of the chair, wishing she could crawl out of her skin and disappear for all the eyes on her, staring. “Good morning. Uh, I’m sorry to sleep so late. We got in pretty late last night.”

  “I’m glad you’re here. Feel free to call me Gran just like the others. And don’t worry about what time you get up around here. I bet you’re starving.”

  “I’m on it,” Nick said, handing her a cup of fresh coffee. “How’d you sleep?”

  “Fine. Better than fine actually. I almost forgot who I was.”

  He gave a knowing glance before diverting his gaze to the hallway. “How’s Boomer? Still asleep?”

  “He didn’t even budge when I got out of bed.”

  “I can feed him as soon as he wakes,” Nick said. Then tension lines bracketing his mouth told her he hadn’t forgotten about their discussion last night.

  She needed to soften the message, set things right with him, but she already felt as out of place as celery in cherry-flavored yogurt.

  Although, looking around, everyone seemed so at ease with each other. The vibe in the room was comforting.

  Nick returned a moment later with cream. “Pass the sugar, Meg.” He turned to Sadie. “This is my sister Meg, by the way.”

  “Nice to meet you.”

  “Pleasure. I’d stand, but...” Meg, with a cute round face framed by cropped brown hair, leaned back from the table far enough for Sadie to see a round pregnant belly. “I’m due soon.”

  Sadie’s heart squeezed. Her thoughts snapped to Claire and the baby she would never see. “When?”

  “Any day now.” A tall, blond, attractive man with a runner’s build moved beside Meg and planted a kiss on the top of her head. His affection toward his wife could melt a glacier. “How’s your back today?”

  Meg’s cheeks turned a darker shade of red. “It’s better.”

  “What can I get you? Another pillow?” he asked.

  “Nothing. I have everything I need right here.” She smiled back up at him and patted her big belly.

  Sadie had to tear her gaze away. The tenderness and love between them brought a flood of tears threatening. She sniffed back her emotions and took a sip of the hot coffee as a pang of self-pity assaulted her. Had Claire gone into labor? Was her little girl swaddled in her arms? Did the sweet baby have her mother’s honest blue eyes? Her father’s dimples?

  The tall man interrupted her moment of melancholy, introducing himself as Meg’s husband, Riley.

  Sadie took his outstretched hand, praying he didn’t feel hers shake. She wished Nick was closer. He was the only thing familiar to her in the room. He stood at the stove over a pan of eggs.

  A figure cut off Sadie’s line of sight. She stared at the hand being stuck out toward her. “I’m Lucy.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Sadie shook the hand being offered, surprised at the strength coming from someone who couldn’t be more than five-foot-four-inches tall. The term “cute as a bug in a rug” had to have been invented for Lucy. She had cu
rly brown waves that fell past her shoulders, big brown eyes and Luke’s dimples.

  Luke came through the back door. A six-foot-two version of the Campbell men followed. “I see you’ve met the clan. Except for my brother Reed.” Luke motioned toward his younger brother. “Our mother will be here tomorrow.”

  Reed tipped his black cowboy hat and smiled. His cheeks were dimpled, too. “Ma’am.”

  Sadie smiled, trying not to show her nerves, and turned to Gran. “You have quite a beautiful family.” Her voice hitched on the last word. Truth was, she had no idea how to interact with a family. It had only been she and her parents when she was a child but they both had worked long hours in the small trinket store they’d owned. She was lucky if she saw them for more than a half hour before bed every evening.

  “We’re blessed.” Gran beamed.

  Nick delivered a plate of food, and the earlier chatter resumed. Sadie was thankful the spotlight wasn’t on her anymore. As it was a rash had crawled up her neck. A few deep breaths and she might be able to stop it from reaching her face. She focused on the food. The eggs were scrambled with chopped red pepper and onion. A couple of homemade biscuits smothered in sausage gravy steamed. This was heaven on a stick.

  Sadie wasted no time devouring her meal.

  Nick had taken the seat across from her. “Guess you were hungry. I have more.” He made a move to stand.

  “No. Don’t get up. I’m fine.” Sadie’s cheeks heated when she realized he must’ve been watching her eat the whole time.

  The satisfied smile curving his lips warmed her heart more than she should allow. She couldn’t risk getting too comfortable. She wondered just how much everyone knew about her aside from Luke. He knew enough.

  “Meg’s on leave until the baby’s born. She and her husband work for Plano P.D. And Lucy works in the Victim Advocate Unit for the sheriff’s office.”

  Was he reassuring her everything would be okay? Maybe he’d misread her tension.

  Luke and Reed stood at the kitchen sink, eating fresh cut watermelon.

  Gran’s gaze narrowed on the outline of weapons in their waistbands. “I hope I don’t have to remind either of you about the ‘nothing that fires is allowed in the house’ rule.”

  Luke shot a concerned look toward Nick. After picking them up last night and hearing the threat, Luke seemed more comfortable keeping his weapon as close as possible. He seemed to be waiting for acknowledgment from Nick that it was okay to leave his gun outside.

  Nick barely nodded.

  “Go on. Don’t make me repeat myself.” Gran shooed them toward the door.

  “Sorry, Gran.” Luke glanced back in time to see Nick smoothing his hand down his ankle.

  His slight nod said he understood. Nick was telling him where to hide his weapon.

  A boulder would’ve felt lighter on Sadie’s chest at the reminder of just how much danger she was still in. To be in a room full of law enforcement out on a country road, and still need to have weapons within reach at all times didn’t say good things for her situation. Plus, being in a room full of well-intentioned strangers shot her blood pressure up. At this rate, she’d have hives before she finished her coffee.

  “I should check on Boomer.” She made a move to stand, but Nick held his hand up to stop her.

  “I got this.” He picked up her plate and set it on the counter before disappearing down the hallway.

  Lucy looked at her intently. “So, how’d you get my brother to come back home?”

  “Now, Lucy, that’s none of our business, right?” Gran shooed her away, winking at Sadie.

  Apparently, not everyone knew the real reason she was there.

  Nick returned a minute later with her hundred-pound rescue trailing behind. Boomer’s ears perked up as soon as he saw Sadie and he trotted over to her side, tail wagging.

  “Sweet boy. Did you get some rest?” Sadie asked, grateful she had something familiar to focus on besides Nick in this room full of strangers.

  Nick’s hand grazed hers as they scratched Boomer’s ears and her skin practically sizzled where he made contact. An electric current raced up her arm.

  She stood. “He probably needs to go out.” She practically ran through the opened screen door to find a place where she could think straight.

  Boomer’s nose immediately scanned the ground. He stopped at a tree and hiked his leg.

  The screen door creaked and Nick bounded down the porch stairs holding a plate. “Don’t have any kibble, but I figure he won’t object to biscuits and gravy.” He set the meal down on the ground.

  Sadie rubbed her arms to stave off a chill even though the thermometer displayed a number in the high seventies. “Darnedest thing about living in Texas. Never know what the temperature’s going to be this time of year.” She turned her back to Nick and looked out on to the wide-open sky.

  “Supposed to be a storm blowing in tonight. It should be plenty cold later. Remind me to give you an extra blanket.”

  She turned to face him, unsure of the right words to tell him she needed to go. She rubbed her arms to tamp down the goose bumps—the chill she felt from deep within encasing her heart. “Thanks. For all this. But I think we both know I don’t belong here.”

  “Sure you do.” He moved closer, took off the shirt he was wearing and wrapped it around her shoulders. Even through his undershirt, his broad, muscled chest rippled when he took in a breath. “What makes you say that?”

  “I just don’t. This is your family.” She gripped the top of the fence, turning her face away from him, not wanting him to see how much it hurt to say those words. “And I’m grateful for everything you’re doing for me. But I’d rather stay at a motel where I’d be out of the way.”

  “We’re just normal people. There’s nothing special about us.”

  She looked out across the landscape. The way they loved each other seemed pretty special to her. “You have a gran and sister with a baby on the way. This is a family moment and I don’t feel right intruding.”

  “Did anyone say anything to you? Lucy? She can be quick to judge, but she means well.”

  “No. No one had to. I can see with my own eyes. This is a special celebration. Your gran is sweet. She deserves to have all the attention.”

  “You don’t know Gran. Don’t get me wrong, she loves for us all to be together. But she doesn’t need to be the center of attention. She’s content right here with all of us running in and out. If she had her way, not one of us would’ve moved out. We’d all still be here, tripping over each other.”

  Sadie glanced around at the yard that seemed as if it went on forever with the low shrubs and mesquite trees, then toward the blue skies with white puffy clouds. “I can think of worse places to be. It’s beautiful here. This where you grew up?” She leaned her hip against the fence.

  “Yeah.”

  “Where do you live now?” she asked.

  Boomer loped over, sniffing around as though he tried to get his bearings. This was a far cry from his home at the lake house. Was he as lost as she felt?

  “Dallas. I have an apartment in The Village. But, I’m never there. I guess it doesn’t really feel like home.”

  “Why’d your sister say you don’t come around here anymore?”

  “Who? Lucy?” He paused. “Must’ve been her. Everyone else has been briefed.” The muscle in Nick’s jaw pulsed. “Sorry about that. I’ll fill her in.”

  Why did he dodge the question? There was more to the story and her curiosity was piqued. She told herself it was because it would be nice to know one thing about him that didn’t have to do with how well he did his job. “So you get to know everything about me and I don’t get to return the favor. Is that it?”

  “Afraid so. Besides, some subjects are out-of-bounds.”

  “Oh, that’s great.” What was the big deal? Did she hit a nerve?r />
  “Tell me about the accountant.”

  “Who?” She had to search her memory for a second. “Tom?” She’d almost forgotten about him, being this close to Nick. Even so, what right did he have to ask about Tom? Indignation squared her shoulders. “He’s none of your business.”

  “All indicators show you two should be married by now, planning for your kids’ college funds.”

  Anger simmered. He didn’t have a right to judge her life, past or present. Besides, none of those normal things were in her outlook anymore.

  “Kids? Me?” She laughed out loud. It came out as a choked cough. “That’s about the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. How exactly am I supposed to have time to push around a stroller while I’m being chased by a man who won’t stop until I’m dead? How selfish do you think I am?”

  He stood there as though words wouldn’t form. Did he regret his tone?

  It didn’t matter. Tears had already boiled over and spilled down her cheeks. A family had never been more out of the question for Sadie. And when could she ever stop running? What was her future going to be like? Relocate every six months? No friends? No roots? No home?

  Sadie couldn’t stop the sob that racked her shoulders. Or the flood of tears that followed. Before she could fight, Nick pulled her into his chest where she met steel wrapped in silk muscles. His strong arms wrapped around her and he spoke quietly into her hair. “It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be all right.”

  “You don’t know that.” She needed to get tight and stop feeling sorry for herself. She’d been strong so far. This was not the time to unravel.

  “I’ll find Grimes and anyone else trying to hurt you, and lock them up. I have help here. We don’t have to do this on our own anymore.”

  “You already said this is your job. And I’m glad you’re good at what you do. But this is my life. And it sucks. I never get to be me again. I always have to play the part of someone else. Those bastards took it all away. Everything.” Tears fell freely now. Sadie had no power to stop them. It had been two long years of being strong. Twenty-four months of lonely nights, freaking out every time a creak sounded, and a lifetime on the run to look forward to. She could never stop or slow down for fear one of Grime’s gang members would be right behind her, lurking, waiting.