The Accidental Cowboy

by Heidi Hormel

  Jones watched until the man was out of earshot, then turned to Lavonda, “What the hell does that mean?”

  “He’s just being funny.”

  “Doesn’t sound very funny to me.”

  “Danny has a strange sense of humor.”

  They stood in silence. Now that he was here face-to-face with her, all the words that he’d imagined he’d say were gone, sucked down into the dark pit of swirling fear that had replaced the space under his breastbone.

  Lavonda resettled her cowgirl hat on her head. “Why did you leave that stupid note?”

  “I didn’t want to leave without saying something?”

  “Crap answer. Try again.”

  An announcement rang out from the grandstand. He couldn’t understand one word of it. When he tried to speak with her, his brain worked like Swiss cheese—holey and moldy. “I...” Crappedy crap. “I didn’t want you to sacrifice the job you’d been waiting for to fix my situation. Because immigration would expect us to live together if we got married.”

  “I see. So, I don’t have the ability to make my own decisions. I am so besotted with you that I can’t think straight. Is that what you’re saying?”

  “Maybe?” The band inside his hat didn’t stop the trickle of sweat that ran down the side of his face.

  “You were able to decipher a coded journal and you can’t tell me what you meant?”

  “No?”

  “No what?”

  “Have mercy, woman. The code was nothing compared to...compared to...trying to tell you how I feel after you asked me to marry you, then said you’d run off to Hong Kong. You don’t want to ever see me again, obviously. Why would I stick around to say goodbye to someone who had—”

  “Don’t say used you for sex. Because you enjoyed that as much as I did.”

  He might not be so much afraid now as mad. “This isn’t about the sex.”

  “Then what’s it about, because I thought that’s all we had—sex and guide services.”

  “Then you aren’t the cowgirl I thought you were. I’ll put Reese in the trailer. I assume you’re getting rid of him and Cat so you can go to China?”

  “You know what they say when you assume?”

  What the hell was she going on about now? He yanked on Reese’s halter to get the donkey moving.

  “Stop,” Lavonda said. “I came here because... I would have said this to you if you’d stayed at the ranch.”

  He kept moving. Any more revelations and he might have to punch something.

  “I love you, you stupid Scotsman.”

  * * *

  THAT WASN’T EXACTLY how she’d planned to tell him, but he was walking away. She had to stop him. It had worked. He stood still, scarily still.

  “Pardon?” His hoarse question got drowned by a roar from the arena.

  She’d said it once, and she could say it again, except he hadn’t said that he loved her. Time to go big or go home...or to Hong Kong. “I love you, Jones.” Now it was quiet enough to hear Reese nibbling on his lead rope.

  Jones settled his hat, resquared his shoulders and turned back to her. “I thought that was what you’d said, except you were clear the only reason you wanted to marry me was so I could get a green card, find the cache and get good press for the university.”

  “That was right. I wasn’t going to marry you because I loved you.”

  He looked up into the bright desert sky. Lavonda didn’t move, even though she wanted to run. She’d made a fool of herself. Obviously. He still hadn’t said how he felt.

  “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why do you love me? Why did you wait until now to tell me—when I leave for Scotland tomorrow?”

  “You leave tomorrow?”

  “Don’t dodge the question,” he said, his fists clenched tightly at his side and his gaze leveled on her, the Clint Eastwood squint somewhere between threatening and uncaring.

  “I just do.” Lame.

  “If that’s your answer, then I wish you well in Hong Kong.” He looked hard at her and she couldn’t open her mouth. He turned slowly, head low.

  “Because you look really sexy in a kilt,” she shouted after him. His step hitched but he didn’t stop. “Well, damn,” she muttered to herself just as Reese let out a forlorn bray. She raced after him. “Because you make me feel like the only woman on earth and then you make me feel like Bathsheba, Beyoncé and Cinderella all in one. Because when I’m with you it’s better than staying in the saddle for eight seconds and even better than telling the press to buzz off.”

  “Bathsheba?”

  “Mama made us go to church.”

  Just at the entrance to the arena, he turned around to her and his face wasn’t in its usual lines of serious good humor. “I...I’m on my way back to Scotland where I probably don’t have a job or career. I’ve nothing to—”

  “What do you mean you’ve got nothing? You’re a cowboy.” He shook his head and she reached out slowly to touch his arm. “Yes. You are. You protect those who need it—just ask Reese. You do what needs to be done, but you’re not afraid to take a risk. I’ve already told you that I can fix—”

  “That’s exactly it. I don’t want you to ‘fix’ anything. I don’t want that from you.”

  “Then what do you want?” She didn’t hear the crowd, and she could care less that Reese was braying his head off.

  “I just want to love you,” he ground out, not sounding happy. “Except that—”

  Lavonda ran the two steps to him, jumping up to wrap her arms around his neck, and her legs around his waist. “No except. You love me. You said it and can’t take it back. I love you. That’s all we need.”

  His arms, his lovely caber-tossing arms, wrapped around her, holding her against him. “That’s not real. That’s a song title.”

  “Jones,” she whispered, bringing her lips to his. “I love you. It’s just that simple.” She kissed him long and deep.

  “Wait. Stop.” He set her back onto the ground. “You said I was a cowboy.”

  “Of course you are, because I’m a cowgirl and a cowgirl can only fall in love with a cowboy. Face it, Jones, you’re stuck with me. You’re stuck with Cat and with Reese.”

  “You didn’t say anything about...wait...what do you mean stuck?”

  “We’re all coming to Scotland with you. I know there’s quarantine or something, but I can’t leave them.”

  “This is exactly why you shouldn’t be trying to fix everything. I don’t want to live in Scotland. Never did.”

  “Really?”

  “Nope, little lady,” he said, trying on a spaghetti Western accent that made her giggle. “I found a good piece of land and a good woman.”

  “The ranch—”

  “I’m speaking symbolically, Lavonda. I don’t care where exactly we settle our boots as long as it’s together at the foot of the same bed, even if it’s in China, although how you’ll get a donkey and cat into the country... But I’m sure if anyone can do that, it’s you.”

  “Except, I won’t be taking that job. It’s not me anymore. Danny told me there’s a tour company for sale in Angel Crossing. I’m interested.”

  “For archaeologists who can’t find their way?”

  “Whatever it is, we decide together.”

  She stared into his green eyes and knew that whatever they did after today would work out because they were together. She’d never have to hear the words again—not that she wouldn’t want to hear them—but just looking into his dear face, she knew he loved her.

  “I love you,” Jones said, pulling her back to him. Maybe she really did want him to say the words. Even without one r, he made those three little words the sexiest and sweetest in the English language.

  “Yo, Jones,
we need you for the—”

  “Hell,” Jones muttered against her lips, letting her move slowly from his arms.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but we’re getting ready for the maide leisg.”

  “No way, lads. I’ve got more important—”

  “What’s the holdup?” Lavonda’s brother, Danny, asked, his walk loose but his eyes intent. “I turn my back for one second... What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” Lavonda said quickly.

  “Jones,” a teammate interrupted again. “We’ve got to go.”

  Then the man she loved, the Scottish cowboy, turned to her brother. “I love your sister and we plan to...” His words dribbled to a stop. Lavonda held her breath. He would not propose. Not here. Not in front of her brother and a kilted nerd.

  “Go compete,” she said, pushing him toward the arena.

  Danny said quickly, “No, I want to hear what he’s got to say.”

  “I was just going to say live in Arizona.”

  Lavonda refused to be disappointed.

  “Really,” Danny said, looking at the two of them. “That’ll make Mama happy. Now, let’s get this Scottish rodeo moving.”

  Jones surprised Lavonda with a deep and thorough kiss to a hoot from his teammate.

  “That’s my sister,” said Danny.

  “I have a nice comfortable bed in my motel room, which is where I’d like to be right now, making love to you, but needs must,” Jones said.

  “That’s what she said,” Lavonda whispered against his lips for one more kiss.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jones scanned the crowd for Lavonda as he waited for the next set of games. She waved her fingers at him. He didn’t even worry about shaming the kilt when he returned the wave.

  “Jeez. How are we going to intimidate the other team when you do that?” grumbled one of his teammates.

  He didn’t care. He almost didn’t care that he didn’t have a job or much of a reputation—though that stung a bit. He’d make it up to her because that’s what a man who was in love did. No doubt about it.

  “Time to go, gentleman,” the team captain said.

  * * *

  DURING THE NEXT break in the competition, Jones was surprised to see Lavonda’s brother waiting for him.

  “Since Lavonda is being Lavonda, I’m going to ask you. What’s going on between the two of you? And don’t try that ‘nothing’ crap.” Danny didn’t raise his voice, but his menace was clear. “Do you love her?”

  “Your sister is an adult, as am I. I do not believe—”

  “That was an easy yes or no question, pardner.” Danny didn’t make it sound like Jones was his “pardner.”

  “Few questions are as binary as—”

  “Now you’re just tryin’ to show off for the dumb cowboy, ain’t ya?”

  Jones tightened his lips to keep himself from saying what he really wanted to. After all, this man might just become his brother-in-law. Shite. “I’m not showing off. I was only pointing out—”

  “Ain’t polite to point.” Danny interrupted again.

  “My first-year students have more manners than you. If you would stop—”

  “So, doc.” Danny made the title sound like an insult. “What’s it goin’ be? Yes? Or no? You love my sister, don’t you? And if you say yes, I won’t believe it until you prove it.”

  “I don’t need to prove anything to you. This is not the Wild West where I have to get your permission to court your sister.”

  “Court? I think things may have gone beyond courting.” Danny’s eyes weren’t visible in the shade thrown by his hat. “Plus she’s got Mama and Daddy to make sure you do the right thing.”

  Was Lavonda the only sane one of the bunch? “I need to get ready or the next—”

  “From the things I’ve heard from Jessie and Olympia, I think you have a lot to make up for. Do you think getting her a diamond is going to do that? Nope. You need to make a grand gesture. Like those guys you see on morning TV. So what are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to act like a mature adult.”

  “Bad plan. I know my sister.” Danny let the silence go on until it was more than uncomfortable. “So, do you want my help or not?”

  “Why would you help me?” This setup sounded and felt suspicious.

  “She’s my sister, man.”

  That was the first sincere thing he’d said so far. Jones could listen to Lavonda’s brother. It was polite and he did want to be on good terms with her family. Here might be a good place to start.

  * * *

  “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, we have a very special competition coming up.”

  A few claps. She stared at Jones, in his kilt, now paired with his lime-green T-shirt with the slogan: Professors Do It With Class. He was alone, though. His teammates and other competitors stood around the arena, smiling but quiet.

  “Wait, folks,” the announcer said. “I’ve just received information about an ancient Scottish tradition. Apparently, when a man and woman compete in a maide leisg—”

  There was a crackling in the PA system. “Well, folks, this is how it is. When a woman challenges a man to maide leisg...” What the heck was Danny doing on the microphone? “She determines if she’ll have the man by winning the competition.”

  Jones remained in the middle of the arena, the toes of his restless cowboy boots kicking up little puffs of dust.

  “So you may ask what happens if a lad challenges a lassie,” Danny’s voice boomed.

  “No, we weren’t wondering,” Lavonda muttered.

  “If the lassie bests him, he’s required to marry her. But if he wins, he’ll remain a bachelor all of his days. I don’t make the rules, folks.” The crowd laughed and cheered. “So, we have a competitor who would like to issue a challenge to a lassie.”

  Crappedy crap crap. Lavonda knew where this was headed and stood up to leave.

  “There she is, folks. Ready to meet her husband...or not.” The people around her cheered and wished her luck.

  The crowd shouted louder. She looked down at Jones, standing tall, a light breeze stirring the edge of his kilt. She remembered the first day she’d seen him and wondered what was under it. She knew now. His gaze stayed on her and then he smiled. The big dummy was ready to be humiliated in front of all of these people who already had their camera phones out.

  “Go,” said a middle-aged cowgirl. “I’ll film it for you. It looks like you have your work cut out for you.”

  Lavonda’s gaze was drawn back to Jones’s glinting red hair and the steadfastness of his taut jaw. “What am I doing?”

  “You’re going to wrestle with your true love. That’s what the mayor said.”

  “The mayor is a—”

  Danny’s amplified voice cut her off. “Don’t leave him in suspense. You know what happens if the woman refuses to take the challenge? She gets warts and her knees bow. Better hurry.”

  Why was she hesitating? Jones was the man she wanted to be with, not just today or tomorrow, but forever. He knew that, right? He knew he didn’t have to make some grand gesture.

  “Since I’m a mayor in the great state of Arizona,” Danny said breathlessly as he raced down the bleachers with a portable mic in his hand, “I can officially oversee this ancient handfasting ritual.”

  Lavonda froze. She’d already made light of getting married once. She wouldn’t do it again.

  Danny now stood beside Jones, who grabbed the mic from him and spoke.

  “There will be no handfasting. That’s incorrect.”

  Lavonda hurried forward. She had a say in what would happen to her.

  “Fine. Fine, but I see the two lovebirds are ready, so gentlemen...” Danny said, motioning to kilted bystanders who brought a stick.

&
nbsp; She shook her head as Jones took back the mic and spoke again. “I don’t like to be the center of attention and I hate having videos taken.” He glared at the stands filled with people holding up phones. “But I will do all of this to prove to Lavonda Leigh that I love her.”

  Her throat closed as tears gathered in her eyes.

  “I’m not much of a cowboy, but she’s the kind of cowgirl any man would be proud to call his own.” He smiled and hot tears streamed down her face. He wasn’t supposed to be this romantic. He was supposed to be a stodgy egghead.

  “So?” one of the men in a kilt asked softly. She used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe her eyes.

  “I’m going to beat him at the...the...may...”

  “Maide leisg.”

  “Yeah, that.” She moved forward, not taking her eyes from Jones.

  “I heard it, folks,” her brother announced. “She has taken the challenge.”

  The other men in the lime splendor of kilt and T-shirt helped Lavonda get positioned, seated in the arena dirt, with her feet against Jones’s and each of them holding the same long smooth stick parallel to the ground, like they were rowers on the same oar and facing each other. They didn’t talk. They didn’t need to.

  One of the nearby men explained whichever competitor was forced to stand up as they pushed against their feet and pulled against the stick was the loser.

  “Get on with it,” someone shouted.

  “The public has spoken. Are you two ready?”

  Lavonda nodded grimly, because she was winning this fair and square. She didn’t want Jones to be in any doubt. With a grunt she pulled against the bar and braced her feet against his. She heard the crowd roaring as the two of them struggled. Well, she struggled. Her gaze locked on his green one filled with happiness, like the best-Christmas-ever happiness.

  “Pull a little harder, darlin’. We have to give them a good show,” he said in his awful cowboy accent, moments before he stood up and allowed himself to be pulled over and onto her.

  “She won, folks,” she heard Danny announce. “You know what that means? That cowboy in a kilt will be hog-tied to her forever.”