by Claire Ayres
The pair continues their exploration of the zoo and Luka even gets his wish of another turn around the bug house with Jess clinging to him so that she avoids the bugs.
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After Luka drops Jess off to get ready for dinner, he goes home to do the same. Seeing he has a missed call he picks up the message only to find it is the one person he is trying to block out. Mark.
Luka, I know you don’t want to talk to me and I don’t blame you. We were best friends though and I am willing to fight for that. I don’t want a stupid mistake to ruin our friendship forever. I’m here when you decide you are ready to talk.
This message only proves to put Luka on edge. Aside from being the last person he wants to be receiving messages from, Mark is also a reminder of why Luka is living such an insular life, why he can’t trust anybody.
Luka takes his phone and types out a text.
Jess, I’m sorry I need to cancel tonight.
He stares at the words for several minutes, all of the reasons why going out with her are a bad decision running through his head. Then he is also reminded of all the reasons why he should go, not least the incredible chemistry between them. They don’t have to fall in love to have fun. He reminds himself of this.
Deleting the text message before he changes his mind, he shakes off the negative vibes and thinks about Jess’ smile. How it’s restrained and unsure because she is holding back as well. He isn’t alone in having trust issues, that is very clear. When they touch though, that chemistry, their bodies fizzing and bubbling together as though they were made to be together.
Luka debates about where to take Jess for dinner and decides on somewhere nice. He takes out his favourite suit, a shimmering blue which brings out his eyes, and pairs it with a matching shirt. He concludes that he looks almost respectable.
When he knocks on Jess’ door he’s not ready for what he’s presented with. She is wearing what must only be described as the epitome of the little black dress: short, tight, and clinging to every curve of her petite hourglass figure. Luka licks his lips as his hormones kick into teenage boy mode and he lifts his eyes to her lips which are now the same shade as the pink highlights in her hair. He struggles for air to be able to speak.
“Um, hi.” Luka thanks God for helping him find words.
“Hi,” Jess squeaks, barely above a whisper. She’s looking through her eyelashes in what he suspects is shyness, yet it looks extremely sexy.
“Are you ready?” Luka is desperately struggling for breath; the suit feels far too restrictive now and he’s ready to skip eating altogether.
“Sounds perfect, I can’t wait.” Luka takes her hand and as their fingers join that bolt of lightning hits again. Their eyes connect for a second, an acknowledgement that, yes, that did happen, and he leads her out of her apartment for what may be the most sexually strained meal he’s ever had.
As they walk to the restaurant which is close to the apartment block, they pick up their conversation from earlier with ease.
“What is your favourite TV show then, Luka?” Jess asks jovially.
“I really love Mozart in the Jungle, it’s about an orchestra in New York and centred around an eccentric conductor. It’s very funny and I often wish orchestra life really was that hilarious,” Luka replies without hesitation.
“I would love to watch it with you sometime.” And just like that they are walking hand in hand and grinning at each other like a pair of lovesick teenagers.
The realisation of their growing closeness sends Luka into another small panic about how close he is getting to this woman, meaning he misses much of what else she says as they walk.
Once they arrive at El Puerto, a tapas restaurant, they sit down for dinner and place their orders. Jess asks Luka to choose the wine, and he goes with a white which sits well with both of their meal orders. He smiles at her and he knows he keeps smiling at her, Luka doesn’t normally smile, ever, so the fact he is doing this is not helping his anxiety levels at all.
He decides though, that as he is getting closer to Jess, he should find out more about her, why she is struggling with trust. Understand more about her, and what makes her tick.
“Tell me about your family,” he asks, pouring her a glass of wine and watching how she flinches as he finishes the sentence, realising he’s hit a nerve.
“There is Katie, she’s my best friend, almost a sister.” Luka frowns brimming with questions but doesn’t interrupt. “Then Katie’s Mum and Dad, who were my foster parents. That’s it.” She is very matter of fact, almost emotionless telling him yet he decides to push, not sure if this is a good idea or not.
“What about your biological family, if you don’t mind me asking?” Luka asks, gently.
“They died when I was fourteen.” She looks at him, sadness clouding her eyes, and he feels his heart reaching for her.
“I’m sorry, that must have been so hard.” His face is awash with sympathy and his eyes are pinched with tears for this wonderful and brave woman.
“It was Katie and her family who saved me. I was lucky. So many in my situation aren’t. What about your family?” She turns it around.
Luka realises he can’t have this work one way only and braces himself for what may come. “Mine was very conventional. Mum, Dad, and two brothers, Gerardo and Niccolo.”
“Do you see them often?” she asks, taking a sip of her wine. He watches her swallow her sip and feels a stirring deep in his groin making him take a deep breath.
“My parents, not often. They have moved to Italy now, living out their retirement dream. My brothers, I see more often. They both live and work in London so we catch up when we can.” He realises it’s been several months since he last saw his brothers and makes a mental note to check in with them.
“It must be nice to have siblings,” she says absently.
“Yes. Although sometimes, especially growing up, it’s a complete nightmare.” Luka chuckles remembering some of the antics they would get up to. Jess joins his laughter and they take a moment to take each other in.
“Don’t feel you have to answer this,” Luka looks Jess in the eye, “but I’ve sensed somebody hurt you badly. Do you want to tell me about it?” He maintains their eye contact as she picks up her wine, takes a big gulp, then looks away. Picking up her napkin, she starts playing with it between her fingers. Whatever she is going to say, it’s going to be difficult.
“Ade and I were together for almost three years and lived together for a little over a year.” She takes another gulp of her wine before continuing her story. “I thought we were the perfect couple, and for a long time, I think in some ways we were. But, I started to get sick.” Luka looks really concerned and reaches his hand out, she places hers in his and squeezes a smile out, obviously grateful for the support.
“I didn’t know or understand what was happening to me. Ade hated the way I changed. He became aggressive and mean. After a couple of months, I was diagnosed with depression, that was when Ade completely lost it. He told me I was a negative influence; packed his bags and left the same day, I haven’t seen him since.” She hesitantly lifts her eyes up, those blue pools shimmering with unshed tears.
Luka is sitting stunned at his own selfishness. He’s been worrying about letting someone in while she’s been dealing with the fall out of someone trampling her at her lowest point. Yet here she is talking to him, holding his hand, smiling, despite all that.
“There are no excuses for what Ade said and did to you.” Luka lifts her chin so that they are looking at each other fully in the face. “As for calling you a negative influence, that is nonsense. You have done nothing except bring light into my life since I met you.” The smile that spreads across her face could power the National Grid for a month and Luka feels an incredibly big lump in his throat as he talks to this girl. “You are going to make someone a very happy man one day, Jess,” he finis
hes, and the thought, let that man be me, crosses his mind before he has any control over it.
“Can I ask what your story is?” Jess asks. Luka realises it’s tit for tat, he did go down this road. He takes a deep breath before opening the wound.
“My relationship wasn’t a good one, Ellie saw me as a status symbol. I should have ended it long before things came to a head. Losing her wasn’t the problem, it was the fact she slept with my best friend, Mark. Losing him ripped me apart, and losing our friendship tore me apart in a way I didn’t think was possible. Mark and I had been friends since Uni, he plays the cello as well and we always had a friendly competition in most things, I had never thought that extended to relationships,” Luka finishes, his voice choked with emotion. Jess lifts a hand to his cheek and gently strokes her thumb underneath his eye. It feels wonderful, and he doesn’t want her to move her hand away, ever.
“Luka, I can’t even imagine how awful that is. Katie means the world to me, and to have that friendship ripped away?” She shakes her head and there are tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry”.
“You don’t need to apologise. I struggle with it, I miss Mark every day. I don’t know how to trust anybody anymore.”
“That’s why you pushed me away when we met?” she asks, her hand now moved back to Luka’s and they are clutching each other across the table. Luka nods.
“That’s OK, I don’t know how to trust anybody either,” she says and looks at Luka through her lashes, a look which sends his groin into overdrive.
“Don’t hit me… But we could just have a fling and go from there?” Luka suggests, making Jess laugh and blush.
“I-I think I might like that,” she says before quickly changing the subject to cover her embarrassment. “Now tell me how you ended up next door to me.”
“After everything happened with Mark, another friend of mine, Paul, helped me get a job here so that I could get away from London. I bought the apartment about nine months ago, then I went straight into touring. It was only a few weeks ago I was able to move in and try to settle.” They sit and smile at each other, a pair of star-crossed teenagers, caught in their moment unaware of the world around them.
Their food arrives and with the food, they lighten the conversation.
“OK, so I’ve told you my favourite TV show, what’s yours?”
Jess blushes. “You won’t believe this, nobody ever believes this about me, I absolutely love Vikings.”
“Really? Why wouldn’t I believe it, it’s a great show. I watch it.”
Jess looks at him, shocked and pleased.
“I guess everybody always expects me to watch RomComs, and while I do enjoy those I also like something with a bit of substance. I enjoy the history and the fighting, and well, the men are kind of sexy!” she laughs
“I’m sensing you have a type,” Luka teases and she blushes shrugging her shoulders
“I’m not sure what you are implying, Luka.”
They continue to learn trivial yet important things about each other, they laugh and bond. Through this conversation it becomes apparent they have a lot in common, far beyond their inability to trust.
Luka starts to talk about his music and he asks Jess what it was that attracted her to it. She’s admitted she’s not musical, and she isn’t a big fan of music, so his curiosity is getting the better of him.
“I felt hypnotised,” she giggles nervously. “It was magnetising, I couldn’t pull myself away. It drew all this emotion from me. I couldn’t understand why or how, but I felt like I was trapped by it.”
Luka feels overwhelmed by the idea that his music could touch someone so profoundly, he wants to share his passion with her on a much more personal level.
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“Thank you for spending this time with me Jess, I hope we get to spend more time together soon.” Jess smiles up at him expectantly and he knows that she wants a kiss, something to show that the chemistry she is feeling is real. Instead he takes a step back and the look of shock, then sadness that passes across her face is like a punch to the gut for him.
“Um, yes, it’s been lovely. Thank you so much.” She says quickly before turning on her heel and rushing into her apartment and closing the door swiftly behind her.
Luka goes home and growls in frustration. All he wanted to do tonight was rip that dress off Jess and fuck her brains out. Sitting opposite her while they were eating and watching her throat move as she swallowed was making his dick twinge in his trousers. He would have done anything to clear that table and take her then and there. He removes his jacket and walks to the counter where the whiskey sits. Pouring himself a glass, he downs the first one before it has time to hit the sides. Then he pours another and walks to his cello knowing that music is the only thing that will help him get over this pure frustration he is feeling.
He groans deep in his throat and decides to play something heavy, starting with Toreador II by Apocalyptica. This is his favourite style for letting off steam and gives him an opportunity to let his hair down. He plays hard and strong for a few hours letting all the tension flow away from his body, knowing that he could not be anything other than a musician. It’s in his blood, it’s who he is and who he always will be.
It’s the early hours when finally he gets into his bed. As he closes his eyes, it’s Jess’ face which floats in front of them. He smiles and drifts off knowing things are going to get complicated.
Chapter Five
Jess
Arriving at Jess’ apartment, he tucks a stray hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger before moving to her neck. Jess’ whole body is lighting up like a Christmas tree, fairy lights flashing with awareness. Luka tenderly pulls Jess towards him and kisses her forehead, sending sparks through her brain, shutting down all functions except those relating to him. When he kisses the bridge of her nose, she stops breathing. He then delicately kisses her lips before pulling away.
“Good night, Pinky,” he whispers, leaning past her, his breath brushing her neck, to open the door.
Jess wakes up suddenly the heat from her dream warring with the coldness of reality and the way that perfect evening had actually ended. After sitting in bed grappling with her feelings for ten minutes Jess finally decides to do something about the situation and pulls back her hot pink covers and climbs from the bed.
After taking a shower and getting dressed, Jess makes up some coffee and breakfast and decides to do the neighbourly thing by visiting Luka. Taking the breakfast goodies with her she walks the short distance to his apartment and knocks on the door. His hair is ruffled, and his eyes look tired. It dawns on her that she has pulled him from his bed.
“Oh no, Luka, I’m sorry.” He smiles and runs his hand through his messy hair, sending a shiver through parts of her body she needs to turn off somehow.
“No need to apologise. I spot coffee, all is forgiven.” He opens the door for her to follow him inside.
“I wanted to thank you for a lovely day yesterday and thought breakfast would be a start. It didn’t cross my mind you might still be sleeping.” Jess places everything on his table and as she finishes he puts his arms around her waist, she stiffens, surprised. He puts his head on her shoulder and whispers.
“Best wake up ever.” He tenderly kisses her on the cheek, totally taking her breath away.
They sit and eat breakfast and Jess notices that he keeps looking at her, and she means, he’s looking at her. As though he’s seeing something different, below the surface. It’s actually a little disconcerting.
“What do you have to do today?” she asks him.
“I have to rehearse today, I have a big concert coming up I need to prepare for.”
“That must be a lot of pressure,” she responds, popping a piece of croissant in her mouth. He watches her chewing intently and Jess brings her hand to her mouth, self-conscious.
“Not really. It
’s my job, I’m used to it now.” He takes her hand, the one covering her mouth and brings it to the table, holding it and continues to keep his eyes on her mouth, licking his lips in a sexy way that’s making Jess feel hot in all the right places.
“Would you like to stay, while I rehearse?” he asks. Jess stops focusing on his lips and brings her eyes to his.
“Really?” The thought of seeing him play in person is setting her body on fire. She barely contains the smile breaking out on her face, and she knows her eyes are giving her away, probably flashing like fairy lights.
“It might be a bit boring for you, but yes, if you would like to, it will be more comfortable than outside the door,” he says jokingly, and Jess playfully punches his shoulder.
“Yes, I would like that.” Jess knows she is grinning far too much, this was so kind of him.
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Jess has been curled up in one of Luka’s armchairs for several hours. She went back to her apartment to get her Kindle and has been reading and watching Luka since then. Watching him play is a completely different experience to listening to him.
When she heard his music, she felt wrapped up in passion and emotion. Watching him though, she sees him become one with his cello. The two are not distinguishable from each other. He is as much a part of the music as the instrument is and it’s so much easier to understand the meaning behind the pieces he is playing, why they are so emotive, why they are ripping her soul apart and trying to create a new one. Jess is completely enamoured by this man, by everything he is giving her, his story, his talent, his whole being. She takes a couple of pictures; he is so absorbed that he doesn’t notice. She wants to remember this moment forever. Her whole body is vibrating, being pulled into the music, and she swears she almost has an orgasm watching him play. The energy coming from him is so passionate.
He finishes the piece he is playing, looks up and smiles.
“Hey Pinky, come here.” He is out of breath from playing, his voice deeper than usual. He is covered in sweat which makes him look like he’s walked in from a rainstorm.
