Callum
My life is one big fucked up mess.
I’ve never had a good life, my childhood was shit and shaped me into the ruthless man I am today.
I have no conscience, no morals, no regrets.
That’s a lie.
I have two regrets in life.
Being unable to save my family and not saving getting Nancy from that hellhole.
Every single thing I’ve done, every single person I’ve killed, I have done so with one single purpose, to help a loved one.
I stopped caring about myself long ago.
I don’t feel anymore.
I can’t remember the last time I didn’t feel like a ghost.
There is one girl.
She makes me feel like I’m real and I’m not sure I like that…
OTHER BOOKS BY MURIEL
SAVING AYDEN (LAST HANGMAN MC #1)
Ayden
September 15, 2008
Anthony and I have known each other our entire lives. We’ve always lived next to each other, which is convenient considering we spent every waking moment together. Anthony is a couple of months older than me and has always been overprotective of me. I always gave him hell over the years for it but I wouldn’t change it for anything. Knowing he’d do anything to make sure I’m happy and safe. It’s such an amazing feeling. I’m not full of myself, just telling it how it is.
Growing up, whenever a kid was being mean to me, he would step in and make things right. He always looked out for me and over the years it never changed, even when he started dating. I was the cause of many break ups. We really were together all the time and I guess his ex’s didn’t enjoy having an awkward girl hanging around with them.
Another reason for our closeness is due to our dads being a part of the same motorcycle club, the Last Hangman. My dad, Cabe, became the President after his father retired and passed it down to him. Anthony’s father, Philip, is also a member. We pretty much grew up around the compound—some of my best memories consist of running around the place causing all kinds of trouble and chaos. My closest friends, Gabe and Aleck, joined the Club almost a year ago and we’ve been a tight group ever since.
Most people are quick to judge us, saying that it’s not a good idea to raise children around a motorcycle club, but for us it was the perfect upbringing, there was always someone to babysit and play! Our dads managed, for the most part, to stay out of trouble even with the illegal shit they do, but they still have their hands in everything from drugs to guns. Most of them are the nicest men you’ll ever meet—just don’t cross them and you won’t get into any trouble. If you’re gonna be a dick to them, then don’t complain if they seek revenge.
Life has always been pretty good to us. Our parents, like most of the club members, have real jobs on the side. My dad is an accountant for a big firm, quite unusual for someone in an outlaw MC but he’s really good with numbers, and my mom owns her own bakery. Anthony’s parents own a garage that specializes in customizing cars and bikes.
We’ve never had to worry about money or anything for that matter, but then the club hit a rough patch and we lost deals and money. A war broke out between us and a rival club, the Bastards from Hell. Luckily, deals could be salvaged and money made; however, Ant and I suffered the most because of it, we were kicked out of high school because they didn’t want the school to be related to any club politics and to have it tarnish their reputation. We had no choice but to transfer. It was pretty hard to find one that would accept us in the middle of the year, especially considering the reason for our transfer, but eventually Ant and I were accepted into the same school.
I struggled when we first got to the new school, I was picked on a lot and had to keep it from everybody. I’m quite short, big green eyes, naturally pouty lips and here’s the real kicker, I’m a natural redhead, and I mean bright red. Needless to say, I was an easy target for all the bullies.
It took Ant a couple of days before he found out about the bullying. When he did find out, he was pissed at me for not telling him right away. I tried to explain why I kept it from him; I didn’t want him to get into trouble for me. I knew he’d do anything for me, and him getting into a fight to defend me was not on my list of things to do in our first week there. He finally understood and promised he would take care of it, I don’t know what he did, but I wasn’t bullied again after that.
Ant, on the other hand, never had a problem fitting in. As he grew older he became leaner, taller and grew a bit of a scruff but his eyes never changed, he has always had the most beautiful hazel eyes I’ve ever seen. The guys wanted to be as cool as him and the girls wanted to be with him. They drove me insane. I know we were only friends, but I couldn’t help feeling jealous of the attention he gave all those girls.
It was two years ago that I realized I had feelings for Ant, not just ‘you’re my best friend so I love you’ feelings, but real ‘I wanna be with you feelings’. It was a slow realization but when it finally dawned on me that I was actually in love with him, they hit me hard. I know I’m only 17 but I know he is my one and only. He’s had others before me, but it doesn’t change the way I feel for him. I just don’t know how to tell him, it’s hard to confess your love to someone who’s been in your life forever and sees you as a little sister.
It could go either way if I tell him. He could share my feelings and it would be the best decision of my life or it could be the biggest mistake ever and end our friendship. I think it would take a lot more than that to break our friendship but I’m not ready to risk it. I could also suck it up and move on, but I’m not quite sure how I would go about that. It’s not like I can just snap my fingers and boom, no more feeling for him. Sometimes I wish it were that easy. Even if I’m not dating Ant, I’m beyond grateful to have him in my life, even if it means I can only have him as a friend. I don’t know what I would do if I were to lose him and our friendship. Ant’s been a member of the club for a couple of months now. Every time he goes on a ride with the guys, I get worried sick that something bad is going to happen to him. I know my dad would never let that happen, but I can’t help worrying.
Today is my pre birthday BBQ. I’m sitting in the garden of the compound on top of a picnic table watching everybody having fun; all of my friends are here as well as the entire MC. It’s a tradition we have at the club, on the day before our birthday we celebrate by having a party at the compound with everyone and then on our actual birthday day, we spend it with our blood family. I have no idea what my parents have planned for tomorrow, I’m not sure anything can top last year’s trip to Disneyworld. Yep, bikers at Disneyworld, it was quite hilarious to see these beefed up scary bikers run for Thunder Mountain before realizing what they were doing, they will never admit it but I know they enjoyed themselves.
I beam as I see Ant walk towards me, he oozes confidence and masculinity, even at just eighteen. He sits by me and kisses my temple. “Ready for your eighteenth birthday tomorrow Sweet Cheeks?” He smirks lighting his cigarette.
“What do you know that I don’t, Anthony?” I narrow my eyes at him, but can’t help the grin that spreads across my face when I see his grin.
“I don’t know anything, so don’t ask.” Finality laces his voice with a hint of playfulness.
“You’re not as fun anymore now that you’re eighteen.” I punch his arm, he doesn’t budge one bit.
“Who says I was ever fun?” He raises his eyebrow at me.
“Ah true, you’re the most boring eighteen year old guy I know.” I shrug and hop off the table walking towards the compound to join the party. I can feel his eyes on me and I add the tiniest bit of sway to my hips. I hear him groan as he jogs to catch up to me.
It feels good to know that I, at least, have some kind of an effect on him.
I smile at my new knowledge.
A girl can hope.
I groan feeling something wet drip on my face, waking me from a really nice dream. Ant and I were riding on his bike into the sunset, it’s a recur
ring dream I have and I never get tired of it. I flail my arms around hoping to move away whatever is dripping on my face, but it doesn’t stop. Then I feel the bed shake slightly, causing me to groan again.
“What are you doing in my bed Ant?” I yawn as I open my eyes. “And stop it with the water.” I glare at him when he stops me from pulling the covers over my head.
“Happy birthday, Sweet Cheeks,” he whispers in my ear, making me shiver. I have to hold back the moan that is threatening to escape my lips.
“Thanks Big Man,” I whisper back, sighing happily as he hugs me from behind, he’s half lying, half sitting on my bed. I can’t help cuddling back into him. I smile seeing him in the full-length mirror that’s on the wall opposite.
“Anytime Sweet Cheeks. Now get up and get ready, big day today.” He smirks and smacks my ass.
“HEY! No smacking!” I yelp and throw a pillow at his head, but he’s too fast and catches it before it can hit him. He throws it back at me then heads downstairs, giving me privacy to get ready.
I reluctantly leave the comfort of my bed and head to the bathroom to get ready. I take care of business, take a quick shower, brush my teeth and select a comfy outfit. Knowing him and my parents, we could be up to anything today, so comfy it is. I opt for jeans, a sleeveless Slayer shirt, a flannel shirt and my black Converse. I don’t put any make-up on, but try to tame my wild mane; seriously I look like a freaking lion! I should know better than to wash my hair before bed.
I walk downstairs to a chorus of “Happy birthday Princess,” from my mum and dad as they sweep me into a hug, I hug them back, eyeing the cupcakes that are on the side.
“Thank you.” I grin and steal one of my mom’s cupcakes and take a big bite—Red Velvet, my favorite!
“We’ll give you your gift later today—it’s running a little late but it will be here later today.” My dad says with a knowing grin looking at Ant.
“Okay? What are you two up to?” I raise my eyebrow and finish my cupcake, debating if I should take a second one or not.
“Nothing Sweet Cheeks and don’t even think about getting a second one, we’ll get breakfast on the way.”
“On the way to…?” I grin innocently hoping for a hint.
“That’s for me to know and for you to find out, be patient…” He smirks at me. “…for once.”
“Ugh, fine!” I roll my eyes and down a glass of orange juice. “Are you guys coming too?” I look at my parents.
“No it’s just you two.” My mom smiles knowingly.
“Uh oh, what am I in for?”
“You’ll see.” Ant smiles leading me out the door to his bike. “Here.” He puts my helmet on my head and secures it for me. I’m more than capable of doing it, but he insists on doing it every single time.
“Thanks.” I roll my eyes playfully and climb behind him, wrapping my arms around him. I revel in the feeling of having him in my arms. I rest my head on his back and enjoy the ride. As he drives I wonder where he planned on taking me, knowing him, it could be the most random spot ever. One year he took me to a gallery. I was confused at first, but when we stopped in front of a painting that looked like me and had Ant’s signature at the bottom, I burst into tears and jumped in his arms. Which didn’t really please the other people in the gallery.
We stopped for breakfast on the way and after what seems like forever; we finally pull up to my mystery birthday spot. He helps me off of the bike and pulls out a bandana from his pocket, holding it up to me with an incredibly cocky grin on his face. Fuck what am I in for?
“And what exactly am I supposed to do with this?”
“I’m going to blindfold you to keep it a surprise until the last minute.” He chuckles as he sees my eyes widen.
“Nuh uh, I don’t think so mister. I’m not letting you blindfold me, I know you!”
“Exactly, you know me Sweet Cheeks so you should trust me.” He holds my hands, lacing our fingers, making me walk backwards. “Well it’s up to you, you can let me blindfold you or I’ll guide you like this until we make it there.” He licks his lips. “So, what will it be Sweet Cheeks?” Damn him and his sexy voice!
“Fine, blindfold me. I don’t want to break my neck.” I sigh and cross my arms over my chest, letting him blindfold me. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”
“Oh, you have no idea how much.” I can hear the amusement in his voice and something else that I can’t put my finger on. Could it be lust?
We start to walk with him guiding me, holding me close to his body. I can feel his warmth pressed to my back and side. I have absolutely no clue where we are and it’s driving me crazy. I’m not good with changes or surprises and combine that with the fact that I’m blindfolded? Yeah, I’m not having fun here, but I trust him so I’ll have to cope. I just hope we are close. I’m scared I’m going to trip and hurt myself. I’m well aware of my clumsiness.
“Are we there yet?” I elbow him gently making him chuckle.
“Almost.” He kisses my head and we stop a few minutes later. He removes the blindfold and it takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to the brightness. What I see is straight out of a romance book. Picnic by the lake in our spot…our spot? Oh. My. God!
“I can’t believe you brought me here!” I beam and take in everything. A blanket is laid out by a tree with a couple of gift boxes and a basket with what I’m guessing is food inside. “Did you do all this?” I grin widely.
“Yes, who else do you think did?” He chuckles, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “Happy Birthday Sweet Cheeks,” he whispers in my ear and places a small kiss behind it, causing me to shiver.
“Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me,” I whisper back, not wanting to end the moment. He will never know how much this all means to me.
“I think I do.” He turns me around and looks into my eyes. “You mean the world to me Sweet Cheeks, as long as you are happy that’s all that matters to me.” He brushes his lips on the corner of my mouth. I let out a shaky breath. I’m totally speechless.
It takes me a moment to get my voice back. This man is out to kill me I swear! “Come on, let’s open your gifts.” He tugs me gently and helps me down on the blanket.
“What is it?” I giggle excited.
“You have zero patience.” He chuckles.
“Well what can I say, you give good gifts. There’s not a single one that I haven’t loved the shit out of.”
“Ah you just say that.” He shrugs softly but I know that he loves seeing me open his gifts. He always looks at me intently, wanting to catch that glimpse of pure happiness when I find out what he gave me. I noticed it a couple of years ago and now I always make sure I catch a glimpse of his face when I open my presents. He really does give the best presents and not just to me. He is always so thoughtful.
“We both know that’s not true.” I stick my tongue out.
“Whatever.” He chuckles and hands me the two big packages. “Come on, open them up.”
I start opening the first one and smile wide when I see a pair of biker boots that I’d been eying for a long time but were totally out of my price range.
“Oh my God you didn’t!” I squeal and tackle him to the ground hugging him and kissing his cheek over and over. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“You’re welcome Sweet Cheeks.” He grins chuckling. “I saw you trying to will them to magically appear on your feet at the store a couple of months ago.”
“You know me too well.” I giggle sitting up to try them on. “They look amazing!”
“They do.” He winks at me. “Open the second one.” He bites his lip making my heart race. Seriously there’s nothing sexier than a hot badass biker acting cute to make your heart melt, and mine is currently in a puddle.
“Alright, alright, you’re spoiling me now!” I slowly open the second one and my jaw drops seeing a customized helmet. “It’s beautiful,” I whisper as I admire it, I can tell that he designed it himself, it has a sugar skull wi
th roses on each side with butterflies flying from the roses and under the skull is with my nickname ’Sweet Cheeks’ in tattoo script. “I love it!” I look up at him, tears in my eyes. I can’t help it, I’m so touched by the gift.
“Awe, don’t cry Sweet Cheeks. I didn’t mean to make you cry, especially not on your birthday.” He wipes my tears and wraps his arms around me cuddling me to him.
“They’re happy tears. It’s beautiful Ant, thank you so much. Best birthday ever.” I sigh happily.
“Nah, the best one was probably your sixth birthday. Remember when your dad got that slip and slide and we ended up completely covered in mud by the end of the day. They had to hose us down before letting us inside the house,” he says very seriously and we both burst out laughing.
“You’re right, but this one is right behind that one.” I giggle and we start eating the food he got us from our favorite Chinese restaurant. “You know me so well.” I grin biting into a spring roll.
“That’s what happens when you spend every single day for the past eighteen years with the same person.” He smiles sweetly and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. I can’t help leaning into his hand.
“True.” I nibble my lip and wipe off some sweet and sour sauce he has on the corner of his mouth and then lick my finger.
“You have no idea what you’re doing to me Sweet Cheeks,” he whispers, sighing softly rubbing his face.
“What do you mean?” I set down the food container and chopsticks.
“Nothing… I just…” He sighs, clearly frustrated by something. He gets up and walks closer to the lake. I follow him and press myself into his side.
“What’s wrong Ant?” He turns and looks down at me, stroking my cheek with the back of his knuckles.
“Nothing is wrong Sweet Cheeks.” He takes a deep breath, “I might be making the biggest mistake of my life right now and might lose you forever, but I just can’t keep it to myself anymore. I know we are young and have our entire life in front of us, but I know my feelings for you are real. I can’t help it. I know I’ve dated a couple of girls but they have meant nothing to me. You’ve always meant so much more to me than any of them, they didn’t compare to you but I couldn’t risk ruining our friendship Ayd and tell you how I really feel for you. You probably don’t feel for me the same way but I love you Ayden.” He looks into my eyes and I can see the sincerity in his and his voice. I’m shocked into silence, on the inside I’m doing cartwheels, I can’t believe what he has just admitted and I couldn’t be happier. “S-say something please,” he whispers.
Forgiving Nancy (Last Hangman MC Series Book 5) Page 26
