Falling to Pieces

by Leddy Harper

  The tricky part was giving it to her. I knew it would cause a fight, I knew she’d be pissed that I’d spent my money on her. But I didn’t care. She needed me just as much as I needed her, and I’d do anything to help her. It was just something she’d have to get over.

  What I hadn’t expected, though, were her tears. When I pulled back into her driveway later that evening, my truck full of supplies, she broke down and cried—full-on sobbed.

  “What’s wrong, Bree? Why are you upset?” I had expected her to be angry, not shed so many tears. I couldn’t stand it when she cried.

  “You don’t get it, Axel.” She sniffled, pushing me away. “How does this look when you’re spending all your money on me? When you’re doing nothing but trying to dig me out of the hole I’ve created.”

  “I’ll tell you what it looks like… It looks like I love you unconditionally. It looks like I want to take care of you forever and always. I don’t understand why you’re fighting what’s between us so much. One day, Bree, you’re going to marry me. And when that day comes, we won’t have separate bank accounts or bills. You want to earn money and pay for things on your own? Fine. I get that. I support it. However, you need paints and supplies to make things before you can sell them. You can’t make money without having a product, and you can’t have a product without supplies. That’s all I’m doing. I’m just giving you the supplies to get you on your feet. To give this business you so desperately want, a fighting chance.” I held her wet face in my hands and stared into her bright eyes. “Just think of me as your investor. I’m investing in you, in us, in our future and your happiness. Have you seen the way your eyes light up when you’re working on a project? I want them to light up like that all the time.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and whispered, “I love you.”

  “Why do I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

  “I will pay you back every penny for this,” she promised, wiping her tears from her face.

  “You know I won’t let that happen. You can pay me back in other ways.” I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.

  “I’m rather certain that’s considered prostitution,” she said on a laugh, our easiness coming back like it always did.

  “I wasn’t talking about that, but if you’re offering…” I kissed her forehead. “I’d actually meant something more.”

  She raised an eyebrow and said, “Sounds scary.”

  “Not at all. I want everything with you, Bree. Everything. I want more kids with you. I’ve missed out on so much with Ayla, and I don’t want to miss out on anything ever again. But we have plenty of time for that. Right now, all you need to focus on is getting this furniture thing going. Because I know you won’t give in to marrying me until you’re firmly on your feet. So if I have to help get you there, then so be it. My reason behind buying you all of this stuff is purely selfish. So don’t worry about it.”

  Bree took a deep breath and smiled. “Okay. Fine.”

  My one stipulation to her was that before she started painting her other projects, she had to fix the dollhouse. I was eager to see what she’d turn it into. To my surprise, after a week of hard work, she finally revealed the most amazing child’s bookcase I’d ever seen. Even without paint, I knew it would be a must-have for any little girl. It solidified my belief that Bree would go far, if only she’d ignore the voices of self-doubt in her head.

  After spending a month together, we were closer than ever, but I knew I needed to do something to prove to Bree that what we had was real. Words didn’t seem to be enough, so I knew I had to do something to show her. I ran to the store and picked out everything I’d need, and then some. An idea had come to me the night before as I held a sleepy Bree in my arms. I knew what her concerns were, and I needed her to see that she didn’t have anything to worry about. I needed to prove to her where we had come from, and that I wasn’t there with her—I hadn’t chosen to fight for her—because we had Ayla. I needed her to know that my love for her was genuine. She’d once accused me of loving her because I wanted to save her from her mother. Now, she seemed to believe that it had to do with Ayla, or just saving her in general. So I had to pull out all the stops to let her know, to make her certain of the fact that I loved her for her…and no other reason.

  After my trip to the store, I called her to tell her I’d pick her and Ayla up at eleven, and for them to be ready. She asked so many questions, trying to figure out what I had up my sleeve, but I wouldn’t give her anything. I wanted it to be a surprise.

  At eleven o’clock on the dot, I pulled into her driveway, not needing to go to the door because they both walked out and met me at the truck. Ayla climbed in the back, excited because she loved how high my truck sat, and Bree rode up front next to me. She fidgeted in her seat, twisting her hands in her lap, but kept up a normal conversation with me. That was, until we pulled up to the field by the lake.

  I watched as her eyes darted around, nervous and frantic over our location. I placed my hand over hers and smiled at her once she gave me her attention. “What are you so nervous about?”

  “I don’t know. Why did you bring us here?”

  My eyes narrowed at her, not understanding her apprehension. But I turned off the truck and got out, grabbing the bags from the back while Bree helped Ayla out of her seat. Grabbing her hand, I led her into the field while Ayla skipped ahead of us.

  “Really, Axel, why did you bring us here?”

  “I don’t get it. I thought you said you came here to clear your head. Why are you so upset about being here?” I asked once we reached the spot by the trees where the grass wasn’t as tall. I laid out the blanket, waiting for her response.

  “This was my place to unwind. My personal space.”

  I straightened up and held her hands in mine. “But this is also the place where we found each other. This is where I came to find peace. Don’t you see? We both came here, at the same time, to seek comfort. I don’t fully understand the comfort you sought, but I came here and thought of you. I came here to stare at the sky and imagine where you were and how you were doing. All the while, you were right across the street, or sitting on that dock over there. I know I’ve already said it, but that was the universe pushing us together. Bringing us to one place. And now, I’m bringing all three of us here.”

  A tear slipped down her cheek before she brushed it away with the back of her hand. “I came here and thought of you,” she confessed softly. “This was my place where I could be seventeen again. In my head, you never left and time stood still.”

  “We never needed time to stand still, Bree. We only needed it to catch up to us. The love we have, the love we had back then, was always bigger than two young people could ever handle. Life would have ended up tearing us apart. But fate stepped in and we had to sacrifice six years together in order to have a lifetime open to us.”

  She dipped her head and pulled herself into my chest. “You really believe that?”

  “There isn’t anything I believe in more. Think about it. We have always been beneath the same sky. We’ve always stood on the same land. We may have been separated by miles and time, but that doesn’t take away the fact that if we looked up, we saw the same thing. If we sat down, we were sitting on the same earth. But look around, Bree. Look up.”

  “Same sky…same land…”

  “All three of us. Finally here. Finally together again. Right where we deserve to be. When will you stop thinking that we don’t belong, or that something is going to happen? When will you stop assuming that I’m here for all the wrong reasons? When will you finally believe what the universe has been trying to tell you this whole time?”

  “It’s hard to think things will work out when they didn’t before.”

  “But they did, Bree. They did work out. You’ve said yourself how different things would’ve been had it all not happened this way. Don’t you see?”

  “Well, I guess they’re right.” She smirked and rolled her eyes.

  Con
fused, I asked, “Who’s right about what?”

  “They say time heals. Great things come with time. I’ve never believed it until now.”

  “I guess sometimes you just have to pass the time in order to see the greatness.” I pulled her close again and kissed her forehead. “Now come on. I’ve got food in these bags and I’m hungry.”

  “A picnic?”

  “It may not be in our enchanted forest…but now we have a wide, open field.”

  Once we finished eating and played a few games with Ayla, it was time for my last part of the plan. “I have another surprise for you.”

  “You do?” She turned to me in question, but the doubt that had been there over the past month was noticeably absent. My plan to express my feelings and gain her trust seemed to be working.

  “It’s something else that’s important to you.”

  “I can’t think of anything.” She glanced over to check on Ayla, who was running through the trees, having the time of her life. She loved this place as much as we did.

  “Tracii invited us for dinner.” I held her hand and looked at her pensively, unsure how she’d respond but hoping she’d be happy.

  “You’re going to take me home to change, right?” Her eyes opened wide, complete fear etched in her features.

  I couldn’t help but laugh at her reaction. “You look perfect,” I said with a kiss to her forehead.

  “I’ve been sitting outside for two hours!” she exclaimed, and looked down at her outfit.

  I shook my head at her, stood up, and called Ayla over as we began to pack things up to leave.

  Bree’s nervousness was evident the entire drive to Tracii’s. It was as if she were meeting my parents, which hadn’t happened yet. She knew how close my sister and I were, but Tracii was also protective of me, so waiting to introduce her to Bree was key to them getting along. I knew Tracii would love Bree as much as I did; it was just about ensuring the timing was right.

  “So this is my Aunt Tracii?” Ayla squealed and asked for the fifth time. “And I have cousins?”

  “Yes and yes,” Bree snapped. She had answered Ayla’s questions nicely the first four times. The nerves had caused her irritability, so I reached out to hold Bree’s hand and glanced into the rearview mirror to give Ayla a wink.

  By the time we pulled up to Tracii’s house, tension hung thick in the air. I hoped it would vanish as soon as they met. I didn’t know how I’d handle it if my sister and the love of my life didn’t get along. I really didn’t think that’d happen, but worried about it nonetheless.

  Tracii opened the front door before we even got out of the car. Her kids ran to us and instantly introduced themselves to Ayla. Kids were so great that way. If only adults could get along as effortlessly.

  “Uncle Axe!” Daniel called out to me as he jumped into my arms before I was ready, causing me to grunt when his knee hit my thigh.

  “Daniel, don’t hurt your uncle,” Tracii barked, which wasn’t a good indication of how things would go. She was the one that invited us over, so I had high hopes that she was ready for this introduction. The kids ran in circles around the car and it had quickly turned into a three-ring circus.

  “Aunt Tracii,” a small voice whispered.

  “Yes…?” Tracii looked down and saw Ayla. Her disposition and face instantly changed. Tears formed in her eyes as she studied Ayla, the situation quickly becoming real. Tracii knelt down and took Ayla into her arms, holding her tight, just as I had wanted to do when I first laid eyes upon my daughter. It was instinctual. She was family, and after seeing her, you couldn’t deny that we were related. “I’m so happy to meet you.” Tracii’s words were thickened by emotion.

  Bree put her arm around me while we watched the poignant display.

  “I’m so glad to meet you, too.” Ayla squeezed Tracii with all her might. “But you guys don’t look like twins.”

  We all laughed, and the earlier tension dissolved.

  Tracii and Bree took turns hugging and made introductions as I stood back and watched my family together. Bree, Ayla, and I were a family. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

  We herded the kids back into the house where we found Danny, Tracii’s husband, waiting for us. “So this is Bree?” He gave a welcoming smile and extended his hand for hers.

  “This is her,” I responded.

  Bree timidly walked to him to shake his hand, but at the last minute, she pulled him into a hug. The entire situation confused me, but then I realized that she must’ve remembered my stories of him from before, of how he’d been abused by his parent as well.

  “Bree,” Tracii called. “Why don’t you help me in the kitchen?”

  Bree shot me a look that clearly begged for me to rescue her, but I waved my hand at her, knowing she’d be fine. The girls needed some bonding time. I settled in to watch a football game with Danny while the kids took off running throughout the house like wild animals.

  This seemed so right, all being together.

  “Dinner’s ready,” Bree called out not too much later.

  “Everything go okay in the kitchen?” I whispered to her as we took our seats.

  “Everything was fine. Better than fine, actually. I have no idea what I was so worried about.”

  “Don’t worry.” I smirked. “Tracii is kinda scary.”

  My sister hit me in the arm and gave me the evil eye. She leaned into me, whispering in my ear, “I really like her.”

  Relief and warmth flooded me.

  After everything we’d been through, we were finally picking up the pieces.

  “So…am I the last meeting of the day?” Aubrey asked as she walked into my classroom, closing the door behind her.

  I stood from my seat, peeking around the corner to make sure it was shut all the way before smiling broadly at her. “As a matter of fact, Ms. Jacobs, you are. Please, have a seat at my desk.” I pulled my chair out for her and then leaned against the edge of my desk.

  “I don’t understand why I had to come here to meet with you formally. It’s not like you don’t give me updates on Ayla when we see each other every night. What could you possibly tell me that I don’t already know?”

  I slid along the edge of the desk until I stood directly in front of her, and then I used my legs to nudge hers apart. She reluctantly grinned while shaking her head, yet she yielded and parted her legs for me.

  “Anyone can walk in, Axel,” she whispered, as if someone would hear us.

  “The door is locked, Bree. I would have to go open it for someone to walk in.” I leaned over the chair, holding myself up with my hands on the armrests, and ran my tongue down the side of her neck. “I’ve already told you about my fantasy of bending you over my desk.”

  “Axel,” she replied weakly, assuring me that she wouldn’t put up a fight. “What happened to your no-sex rule? I thought you wanted to wait until things were finalized.”

  I hummed against her skin, agreeing with her. “That’s Mr. Taylor, to you. And I know you got the call today, because I got one, too. The request for name change has been approved.” I continued my assault on her neck, carrying it down to her chest as she tilted her head back.

  “Well, maybe I’m not ready yet…”

  I knew that was a lie. Bree had been begging me for over a month to fuck her. She played a hard game, but I always came out the winner. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be permanently inside of her, because I desperately did, it’s just that I had my own game to play.

  And I played for keeps.

  I backed away and stared into her eyes. “You’re not ready?” I grabbed her wrist and yanked her out of the chair before spinning her around, trapping her between my chest and the desk, her back pressed firmly against my body. “Then by all means, let me help you get ready.”

  I lifted her skirt, running my fingers over the back of her bare thigh. She shivered and arched her back, giving into my touch. So not ready. I pressed myself against her and blew on the back of her neck, wor
king my fingers beneath the band of her underwear. Just as suspected, she was wet.

  “Seems to me you’re very ready for it,” I whispered against the back of her neck. I slowly eased a finger inside her warm canal, teasing her with unhurried, deliberate thrusts. “Maybe I’ll make you come this way first.”

  “Axel…oh my God. I don’t think… I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  “No one can see us, Bree. Stop fighting it and let me fuck you.”

  “Are you really going to fuck me this time? Or chicken out again?”

  “Oh, Bree,” I said with a deep growl, pressing my hard-on against her back. “I’m going to fuck you with my fingers first, make you come all over my hand, and then I’m going to fuck you with my dick until your cunt squeezes the life out of me.”

  Her breaths turned frantic as she thrust against my finger harder, faster. Bree loved it when I talked to her like that. It spurred her on even more. One good thing about not rushing into sex with her, is that we got to learn so much about each other’s bodies, taking note of what the other liked best and how. I knew exactly what buttons to push, exactly what to touch to make her lose control, and exactly what to say to drive her crazy.