Confessions

by Loren Edizel

  I became a regular at the tea house and tried every type of tea they had there, except for Lapsang Suchong. I would sit at the same table we shared, day after day, and write her long, rambling love letters that described in painstaking detail my melancholy and senseless existence without her in the most taciturn corner of the frigid city. I was so absorbed in my letter writing that I almost failed my final exams and finally returned home to Tangier, broken-hearted. I continued writing to Linda from there, once a week, sometimes more often. A year or so later, one letter was returned with a stamp that said “Unknown.” I immediately called Mrs. Greene only to find that her number was no longer in service.

  Thirty-five years have gone by. I married my second cousin. We have two grown up sons and a thriving spice export business. I never travelled back to Montreal, but I did go to New York with my husband a few times. I wandered in Greenwich Village where she used to live, and looked her up in the telephone directory. There were too many women by that name. I also searched for “Linda Greene” on the Internet a few years ago. Apparently, it is the most common name there is. Under “Genetics” I found an article in which she participated ten years ago, but I haven’t been able to locate her yet. If I were finally able to find her somewhere in the world, I wonder if I would be able to come face to face with her. And what would I say? That she was the love of my life? That I have kept the box of Lapsang Suchong tea she gave me as a parting gift, unopened, all these years? That the smell of almonds still makes me want to weep?

  Acknowledgements

  Heartfelt thanks to:

  Yasemin Yazıcı for making the Turkish editions possible, and translators Roza Hakmen, Seda Pekşen, and Aron Aji for their generosity and talent.

  Luciana Ricciutelli, my editor at Inanna Publications, for her dedication and enthusiasm in bringing out this book.

  My family, my closest ones, who are my first readers and most valuable critics.

  “The Conch” has appeared in Turkish translation in the anthology Kadın Öykülerinde Izmir (Izmir in Women’s Stories) edited by Yasemin Yazıcı, published by Sel Yayinlari in 2009. It was translated into Turkish by Roza Hakmen

  “The Imam’s Daughter” was published in Montreal Serai in March 2010.

  “Small Gifts” appeared in Dünyanın Öyküsü Dergisi (Story of the World Journal) Issue no. 2, March-April 2014. It was translated into Turkish by Seda Pekşen and Aron Aji.

  Photo : Edwin Gailits

  Loren Edizel was born in Izmir, Turkey, and has lived in Canada most of her life. She is the author of three novels, Adrift, The Ghosts of Smyrna and Izmir Hayaletleri, as well as a number of published short stories. She lives in Toronto with her family.