Omission

by Taryn Plendl

  “Rob … it’s okay, he helped me.” She reached back to me. Big man Rob took another look at me and nodded as we walked to the door. I followed, unsure if I should or just turn and go.

  We had barely crossed the threshold before another voice screamed her name. This time it was a young woman, maybe mid twenties, with reddish hair and green eyes that were shooting daggers at me as they helped Payton into a chair.

  “What happened, sweetie?” The woman stroked her head as Payton finally broke down and cried.

  “He grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth,” she sobbed, as Rob stood up from his chair so fast that it fell backward.

  “You?” he yelled, pointing at me, as he stalked toward me. I stood up ready to defend myself if need be.

  “No! Not him, Rob!” she yelled, finally getting her voice back.

  Rob stopped and looked at her and then back at me. “Who grabbed you, Payton?”

  “I don’t know. He kept yelling for me to give him my money, but I couldn’t think because he was choking me. The next thing I knew, there was this guy sitting next to me, trying to help me.”

  “Did you see his face?” Rob asked, watching her as she shook her head no.

  “What about you? What did you see?” He was looking at me, his voice demanded an answer.

  I cleared my throat and sat down in one of the worn wooden chairs. “When I came up, she was on the ground unconscious.” That wasn’t a lie either, although I was seriously omitting some important information.

  Did you see the guy who grabbed her?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

  “The last thing I saw was him running away from us.” I knew I wasn’t helping, but I couldn’t do that to Jackson. Regardless of the idiotic decisions he made, he was my brother and the only family I had left. I had to make sure this girl was okay and then go home and deal with him. I ran my hands over my face, thinking about how I was going to deal with him. What a fucking mess he made.

  “Thank you, man.” I looked up to see Rob standing in front of me with his hand out. I shook it and nodded. I didn’t think it was possible for me to feel any shittier, but I was wrong.

  “What’s your name?” he asked, sitting down across from me.

  “Garrett. Garrett Taylor.”

  “I’m Rob Anderson, and this is Shelly Marks. And this is Payton Clark.” He motioned to the young lady who I couldn’t seem to stop staring at. Her hair was raven black, and those blue eyes were mesmerizing. She looked scared and maybe even a bit shocked, but I could see a bit of fire in her eyes as she stared back at me. She really was beautiful.

  A thought broke through as I was gawking. “Did he get your money?” I asked. So help me God, if he took her money after all of that I was going to kill him! I didn’t think to ask him before I sent him away, but the thought of it now had me almost shaking with anger.

  I watched as she rummaged through her purse and pulled out her wallet. After flipping it open and taking inventory of the contents, she looked up at me and shook her head no. I was relieved to know that I wouldn’t have to try to explain how I had her belongings if I had to return them. “He must have panicked when I blacked out.” I nodded, agreeing with her. She didn’t know how right she was.

  I stood up to leave, knowing that there wasn’t anything else I could do here, and also knowing I had an even bigger big mess to deal with at home. “I’m going to take off.” I walked closer to Payton, “I’m glad you’re okay. I’m so sorry this happened to you.” Those words held more truth than any of them could possible realize.

  Before I could turn around, she stood up and wrapped her arms around me. She was small—only reaching just under my chin. I stood there for a few seconds before I awkwardly put my arms around her, cupping the back of her head. “Thank you,” she whispered into my chest before releasing me and sitting back down. I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I just turned around and walked out, missing the feel of her arms immediately.

  By the time I reached my front door, I had decided what I was going to do, and this time Jackson wasn’t going to have a choice, that was for damn sure.

  Chapter 3

  I woke up the next day with a headache the size of Texas, and my entire body ached—like I had lifted weights or competed in a triathlon. Every muscle in my body was sore. I groaned out loud as I pulled myself out of bed, trying to make it to the bathroom, hoping that a nice hot shower would help me to feel better.

  As I stood under the water, letting it flow over my tired body, I started to shake again. I was having a hard time getting last night’s events out of my mind. That wasn’t the first time I’d been attacked, but it was different. I was finally feeling like my life had some sort of normalcy, like I was in a good place. I was no longer walking through every day waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. Most of the demons from my past had been laid to rest, and unfortunately, last night resurrected some of them. I was just going to have to push them down again. I was stronger than them.

  By the time I had gotten myself a cup of coffee and some breakfast, I felt much better. Glancing at the clock, I groaned when I realized that I was going to have to step it up if I was going to make it to class on time. I set my dishes in the sink and grabbed my bag.

  The walk to class was uneventful, although I found myself paying closer attention to my surroundings. If I had done that last night, maybe I wouldn’t have been in that situation.

  ***

  “Hey girl! You doing okay tonight?” Shelly looked at me, concerned. I couldn’t help it, I started to laugh.

  “I’m glad you think this is funny, Payton.” Shelly glared at me as she walked over to the beer cooler and began stocking it. I watched her turn her back to me, and I felt bad. I know she meant well, but I couldn’t allow myself to be consumed by the events of the previous night.

  “I’m sorry, Shelly. I don’t think it’s funny, but I also can’t sit around and relive it. You know I don’t work that way.” We all make mistakes and find ourselves in a deep hole once in awhile. I wasn’t going to lay in mine. I was climbing right back out, dusting myself off, and walking away. That’s what I did—how I coped.

  “I know, Payton, but one of these days you’re going to have to learn to actually allow yourself to feel. Don’t you ever want to fall in love, get married, and have a family? You have to allow yourself to open up if that’s ever going to happen, you know.”

  Wow, where did that come from? Part of me knew she was saying this because she cared, but I had gone this long without putting myself out there, and I just didn’t see myself finding the kind of love like Shelly talked about. I wasn’t bitter about my life, and I was happy with who I was and how far I’d come, but I was pretty convinced that I was meant to be alone.

  “Shelly, come on.” I smiled, waggling my eyebrows. She was trying not to smile, but she was failing miserably. “And you’re wrong, I do know how to love … I love you and Rob very much. You are my family.”

  She sighed, “Payton, I know you do, but that’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it.” Her hands were on her hips.

  I didn’t want to get into this again. I just winked and walked away. I could hear Shelly groan behind me, and I just chuckled.

  Shelly knew some of my past. I had shared random things here and there, but just seeing how much those things had bothered her, I knew I couldn’t share the darkest parts. Those were mine to bear alone.

  I had just stocked the last couple of bottles when the first group rolled in. Three nicely dressed guys about my age strolled up to the bar—over-privileged fraternity guys, my guess. “Hey guys, what can I get for you?”

  One of the guys leaned forward and smiled a big cheesy grin at me—typical cocky college guy. “We’ll take three beers, and I wouldn’t mind your phone number.” Oh God, that was one I hadn’t heard before. I rolled my eyes. Why did guys think they were so suave with lines like that? The sad part was that I was sure that his lines had probably worked on countless gi
rls before me. He was cute, and he obviously knew it.

  I busied myself with their beers, popping the tops and setting the bottles in front of them. “Here you go, three beers.” I smiled as he handed me his money. I turned back around with his change and he leaned in again. “So, is that a no to your number?”

  “I’m sorry, but my number isn’t on the menu.” I winked and turned back around rolling my eyes as I passed Shelly.

  “He was cute,” she whispered and frowned at me.

  “All good looks went out the window when he used a cheesy line.” I laughed.

  The rest of the night went well. Thank goodness it was busier than last night. By the time we closed, both Shelly and I had made a nice amount in tips.

  “Payton, let me take you home.” Rob walked up behind us as we were about to lock things up for the night.

  “Oh, Rob, I’ll be fine. I’ve been walking that way for three years now, and nothing has happened. Last night was just a fluke.” I wasn’t so sure I believed that myself, but I knew I needed to do this. The first time crossing the park would be a bit rough, but I knew it would get back to normal. I needed to push myself. I would never let fear decide my fate again.

  Rob looked at Shelly, and I could see that they were going to argue with me, so instead of waiting for it, I just leaned up and gave Rob a kiss on the cheek, waved goodbye, and walked out the door. “See you tomorrow!”

  I crossed the street and didn’t look back. I had a feeling that Rob was watching me, and I didn’t want to give him any reason to doubt me, so I held my head high and moved forward. I could feel my heart rate accelerate as I crossed into the park. My hands were sweating, despite the cool night air. I kept opening and closing my fists and tried to concentrate on my breathing as I walked along, occasionally glancing around me. If I was going to be attacked again, I wanted to see it coming this time and fight back.

  The five minute walk felt like an hour, but the moment my feet hit the sidewalk on the other side of the park I felt elated. My whole life I had been pulling myself up out of bad situations, and I’d be damned if I was going to let a strung out young man take my strength from me. I was almost skipping by the time I reached my door.

  My apartment wasn’t much, but it was the only home I had ever had that was all mine. The building I lived in was a four-plex. We shared the entryway, and there were two apartments on the first floor and two more up the stairs. There was a shared laundry room on the main floor, and to be honest, I rarely even saw my neighbors. We all seemed to be busy with our own lives, but when we did see each other, it was always friendly.

  I walked up the stairs to my apartment and unlocked the door. It was pretty spacious, especially for a single person. The front door opened up into my living room, which had carpet floors to cut down on the noise for the apartment below. Off the living room was a small kitchen with a little nook where I had a small table with only two chairs. I didn’t need more; I was the only one who ever sat at it anyway. Down the hall were two bedrooms and a bathroom. In one of the bedrooms I had a small desk and my computer and printer for schoolwork and the other bedroom was mine. It wasn’t anything special, but it was my home, and I loved it.

  I made myself a cup of chamomile tea and sat down on the couch, flipping through a couple of magazines until I felt tired and relaxed. After putting my cup in the sink, I climbed out of my clothes and threw on a tank top and shorts. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and settled myself under the covers. I sighed at how amazing the cool sheets felt, and I was tired—so tired that I thought my head must have barely hit the pillow before I was out.

  ***

  I woke feeling well rested and refreshed at nine o’clock the next morning. I quickly jumped into the shower, got dressed, and pulled my long black hair back into a low, loose ponytail. I applied a bit of mascara and lip gloss and was ready to go. I grabbed a store bought muffin on my way out the door and took off, moving at an accelerated pace toward the campus.

  It was twenty minutes to ten o’clock when I made it to the college. I took in my surroundings as I walked through campus. Something about the students milling around campus comforted me. Guys tossed balls and Frisbees to one another, couples sat together on benches talking with their heads close, unaware of anyone else around them. Groups sprawled out on the grass, studying and laughing with friends. It made me smile, even though I was on the outside looking in. As much as I would have loved to have a college social life, I never was able to put myself out there. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, so I stayed to myself. Other than Shelly and Rob, I couldn’t say I really had any friends.

  As much as I loved my surroundings, I didn’t have time to dawdle. I had Business Ethics right now and Auditing after. I was majoring in Accounting and hoped to eventually get my CPA. Math had always been easy for me, so it just seemed logical to pick a career where I could use my strengths. Even with my side-tracking thoughts, I made it with five minutes to spare for my first class.

  Chapter 4

  Yesterday was an emotional day for both Jackson and me . By seven o’clock in the morning, we were on the road, headed north, to the small private rehab facility that I had tried to get Jackson to agree with going to before. This time, though, he didn’t have a choice, and he knew it. I told him he was getting help, or I was turning him into the police.

  It broke my heart to do that, but it had to be done. Jackson was crushed and looked so scared as we went through the motions of getting him admitted to the inpatient program. It was hard to believe that he was eighteen years old. At that moment he looked like he was so much younger.

  I wasn’t allowed to visit for the first two weeks of his treatment, but we would be able to talk once a week until then. Apparently this was supposed to help him settle in, focus on his treatment, and get through any type of withdrawal. I had promised him I would be back as soon as they let me, and then I drove the two hours back home with an enormous void in my heart, feeling like I’d lost the last of my family.

  After one too many beers and a good night’s sleep, I felt a little better. I had missed my classes yesterday, so I really needed to get my ass to class today. The townhouse was so quiet this morning. It wasn’t really any different—Jackson usually wasn’t up yet anyway—but I guess knowing he wasn’t here made it seem like it was. I felt completely alone.

  I took a long shower, trying to rid myself of the stress and guilt I was feeling for leaving my little brother in a strange place. I pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and grabbed a button up shirt to put on over it, and palmed an apple as I walked out the door. The cool air felt refreshing, and I stopped briefly on the steps and inhaled deeply, allowing the cold air to bathe my lungs before I set out on the short walk to campus.

  ***

  My classes went by smoothly this morning, and my professors were very understanding about why I missed my classes yesterday. I had one more class after lunch, and then I was done for the day. I met up with a couple of my friends in the courtyard, and we decided on a quick game of football.

  “You did the right thing, Garrett,” Ethan said as he tossed the ball to me. I hadn’t given the details of why it had come to the point of making Jackson go yesterday, but they knew enough to know that it had been a long time coming.

  “I know, man, it doesn’t make it any easier, though.” I tossed it to Ryan.

  Ethan, Lucas, and Ryan were my closest friends. We had met as freshmen on the lacrosse team. They were a rowdy bunch, but we had each other’s back. We had all lived in a rented house our first two years here, but after the accident, I moved out and got my own townhouse so Jackson and I could stay together. I missed the parties, the fun, and the girls—boy, did I miss the girls. I hadn’t been out on a date or even just hooked up with anyone in months. I had certainly been approached and even tempted, but I needed to stay focused on Jackson, so I essentially became somewhat of a hermit. Lacrosse had been too difficult to maintain with my new responsibilities, so tha
t went by the wayside after last year, too. It sucked.

  “Hey, you have no excuse to throw at us for at least forty five days. You’re coming out tonight.” Ryan threw the ball hard at my chest, but I was too quick and caught it.

  “All right, but I have class tomorrow, and I’m not a spring chicken anymore, so don’t keep me out too late.” I smirked as I drilled the ball back at him, bouncing it off his chest and laughing as he doubled over.

  “Christ, dude!” he coughed, holding his chest as Lucas and Ethan piled on him adding insult to injury.

  We all copped a squat on the grass, tired of tossing the ball. “Don’t worry, Cinderella, we’ll have you home before midnight.” Lucas winked.

  “Fine, I’ll meet you all at the house around seven.” I stood up and grabbed my bag. I smacked Lucas on the back of the head as I walked by. “Cinderella, my ass!” They all busted out in laughter as I strode away. Hopefully a night out with the guys will help clear my head. I was feeling like complete shit, and I figured a bit of alcohol and fun just might help me clear my conscience. If nothing else, maybe I could just forget for a bit.

  ***

  I showed up to the house just before seven, letting myself in like I still lived there. The house smelled like a mismatch of cologne and beer. Did this house smell this bad when I lived here? I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a beer from the fridge, and sat down on the old couch, which had seen better days.

  The room was a nice size, allowing plenty of room for the parties when we pulled the furniture against the walls. The floors were old hardwood and looked like they had been through a lifetime of hell. The focal piece was the large flat screen television that hung on the wall. It was where we gathered anytime there was a big sporting event. Part of me missed the atmosphere and living with these guys, but the other part of me actually enjoyed the ability to get away from it all.