Full House

by Susan Hayes

  “Yeouch! Will you at least slow down?” She finally demanded as she stepped on yet another rock hidden in the mud.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She stuck out her mud covered foot and pointed to it. “No shoes, remember? You dragged me out of the cabin before I got to put any on. Not to mention I’m still feeling the effects of my little aquatic adventure in the flood yesterday.”

  “You still hurt from yesterday? I thought you took something for that?” he asked.

  “Yes, but I’m still healing. I will be for another day or so. I’m not like you, Raze. I don’t have a host of medi-bots swarming through my blood healing me up as fast as I get hurt. The pain-blocker helps, but not if I push myself too hard or get dragged around by a big, grumpy cyborg.”

  He growled in frustration. “I’m not grumpy!”

  “Says the man growling at me.” She curled her upper lip back, revealing her fangs as she uttered a guttural snarl back at him.

  “Don’t push me, scout. You’re already on thin ice.”

  She drew herself to her full height and stood her ground. “Don’t threaten me because I dared to tell you the truth. You can’t stay here, Raze. If you do, you’ll die.”

  “Then I’ll die, because I’m not leaving.” He didn’t say another word, he simply scooped her into his arms like she weighed less than a noat and started back down the path. She could have protested, but what was the point? He wasn’t going to relent until he’d shown her whatever they were going to see.

  She was going to turn him in to Torex. He’d saved her life, and instead of thanking him, she was going to destroy everything. He shouldn’t have let her get close.

  “Where are we going?” she finally asked.

  “I’m going to show you the price that was paid for this planet. Then, when you fly away and make your report to Torex, you’ll truly understand what the spoils of war look like.”

  He had walked this path so many times in the past few years he could have navigated it blindfolded, but it took him longer than normal to cover the final stretch. He had never imagined there would be a moment he would share this place with anyone else.

  The sun broke through the last of the clouds as he crossed through the final line of trees and entered a clearing, bathing the valley in light. The land here was covered with lush green grass and wildflowers. He had planted some of the flowers himself, adding to those that had already taken root here in the years he had been away. This is where he had buried his family. Twenty-one graves, each marked with a single stone with their names etched on a chiseled space.

  “Graves?” Sevda asked, her voice hushed.

  “My batch siblings.”

  “Veth. So many.” She counted the stones aloud. “Twenty-one? Did you all come here after the war…or…” She looked up at him with dawning horror. “You were here during the war, weren’t you? You lost your family fighting for this planet.”

  He set her down on the thick grass, keeping one arm wrapped around her as he belatedly realized he hadn’t given her a chance to don a jacket, either. “There were twenty-six of us in the beginning. Three years later, I was the only one left. Twenty of my siblings are buried here.”

  “But there are twenty-one stones.”

  “That last one is for me.”

  She stared at him in confusion. “Why?”

  “Because this is where my life ended. I might still be breathing, but I lost everything that made life worth living the day I buried the last of my family here.”

  She leaned into his side and sighed. “This is why you don’t want to leave.”

  Now, maybe he could make her understand the need for her to protect this planet from destruction. “You see? This is why you have to help me. You can change the reports so they don’t come back. If you don’t help me, then Torex will take them from me all over again. I’ve given my life, my blood, and my family to them already. When will it be enough?”

  “I don’t know the answer to that. I don’t know that there is an answer. The corporations do what they want and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.”

  He pulled away from her. “Bullshit.”

  “Do you think I’d be doing this – working for them – if there was another way?” she demanded.

  He jerked his thumb toward his chest. “Do you think I’d be here if that were true? They were going to kill us, scout. All of us. If we hadn’t rebelled, I’d be dead. We took a risk, because it was the only chance we had. Now, the only chance I have is you.”

  Even as he said the words, he knew what her final answer would be. He could see it in her eyes. The scout he’d saved from drowning, the woman he had spent the night making love to—she was going to leave him to fight this battle alone.

  Sevda threw her hands in the air in frustration. “You’re not being reasonable! You keep seeing the world in black and white. There are more than two options for you. You could make another choice, Raze.”

  He scoffed and folded his arms over his chest. “What choice would you like me to make? Where could I go? I was created to be a soldier; a mindless killing machine that would obey every order without hesitation. I don’t know how to be anything else. I don’t fit in with anyone, anywhere.”

  “That’s not true, you stubborn idiot! Look around you. You’re not a killer anymore. You’re a farmer. You have crops and livestock and a home you made yourself. As for where you’d go…” She softened her tone as she opened her heart. “You could come with me. We could work adjoining claims, help each other…”

  “Why would I do that?”

  Humiliation fueled her angry response. “Right. Because I’m just a one-armed, half-breed freak. I just thought that maybe going with me was a better choice than dying here. I want what you have. A farm. A quiet life. When I’m free of Torex, I’m going to make that happen. I was trying to show you there was another choice. But I guess there isn’t, since you’d rather die than be with me.”

  He spat out his words through clenched teeth. “I told you, I can’t leave. If you tell them about me, you’ll be signing my death warrant.”

  “It’s not that simple!”

  “I think it is. You just don’t want to make the hard choice.”

  For him, she might have. Veth, she had actually been tempted to try, but that was before he’d rejected her. “I can’t do what you’re asking, Raze. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. My ship records the scans automatically. I don’t have access to those files. Everything is sent back to Torex for processing and review. Eddi knows you’re here. I have to complete the scans, or my mission will be marked as incomplete, and I won’t get paid.”

  “So it’s about scrip now?” his voice was all acid and ice.

  “No! Fraxx, you really don’t think much of me, do you? I’m not selling you out. I’m telling you it’s not possible. I can’t protect you, or this place. This planet is going to be mined. You’re going to die if you’re here when that happens. Even if I destroyed Eddi and stranded myself here, that would only buy you a few months until they sent someone else to finish my mission.”

  He started to speak, but she cut him off.

  “Don’t worry, I’m not going to do that. You’ve made it clear how you feel about me. I don’t want to stay where I’m not wanted. You’re not the only one with plans, you know. You might think your life has ended, but I haven’t even started to live yet. I’ve been indentured to Torex since I was thirteen. I want my life back.”

  “At what cost, scout? If you reclaim your life at the cost of my future, how are you any better than Torex?”

  “What future?” She stormed across the clearing to stand over the final stone, the one meant for him. “You already carved your name on your headstone. That’s not the act of a man who thinks he has a future.”

  “My future is here, with them.”

  “That’s not a life. That’s a life sentence. A short one.”

  “Why do you care?”

  “I don’t know. Clearly, tha
t’s a mistake on my part, since you care more about the fraxxing noats than you do about yourself or me.”

  Raze glowered at her. “I brought you here so that you’d understand why I can’t leave this planet. If you’re not going to help me, then there’s no point in continuing this conversation. I’ll take you back to the cabin.”

  “And if I want to continue talking about this? What if I want you to accept that this is not my fault?”

  He looked down at her bare feet. “Then you’d have a long, uncomfortable hike back, alone.”

  “You are the most stubborn, difficult ass of a man I have ever met! I understand your reasons, but it doesn’t change the facts. If you stay here, you will die.”

  “I’m not afraid of dying. My home is here. My family is here. I have to stay.”

  “No, you don’t! I don’t think you’re afraid of dying at all. I think you’re afraid of living.”

  “I’m not afraid of anything! Cyborgs don’t feel fear. It’s not part of our programming.”

  She folded her arms across her chest and snarled in frustration. “You’re not a machine, Raze. You’re a human being. We feel fear all the time, as well as guilt, and grief, and sorrow. Even half-breed freaks like me. Pain is part of living. I should know, I lost my entire family, too.”

  “Sevda…” he trailed off as if he didn’t know what else to say.

  “No. Don’t say anything else. Just go. I’ll find my own way back when I’m ready.”

  “I didn’t…”

  She cut him off with a sharp slash of her hand. “Go the fraxx away, Raze.” She turned her back on him and started reading the names he’d chiseled into the other grave markers.

  7

  After a minute, Raze moved to the edge of the clearing and removed his socks and boots. He set them at the head of the trail where Sevda couldn’t miss them. He would leave her here because she’d asked him too, but he wasn’t going to make her walk back in bare feet. As she had already reminded him, she wasn’t a cyborg. She couldn’t block pain or heal quickly. Better she wore them for the walk back to the cabin.

  He left and started making his way back up the trail, with Sevda’s words playing over in his head every step of the way.

  The walk didn’t help clear his head. If anything, he felt more confused than ever. When he got back home, he took a quick shower to wash the mud from his feet, then dressed and started clearing away the breakfast dishes while he tried to put things in perspective. The situation was simple enough. They’d shared a night and a meal together, but that was all there could ever be. She had to leave. He had to stay. The end.

  He grabbed a handful of river sand from the jar beside the sink and used it to scour the dishes clean. “I can’t leave. My place is here. And what is she thinking, asking me to go with her? She barely knows me. She sure as hell doesn’t know me well enough to say I’m staying here because I’m afraid.”

  Not that she’d want him to go with her after what he said. His words had hurt her, and for all his anger, that knowledge bothered him.

  “Damn it,” he muttered. This was why he preferred to be alone. The noats couldn’t be hurt by a poorly chosen word. The chickens didn’t care if he didn’t speak for days. Even among his own kind he’d been considered a loner. His siblings were the only ones who understood him, and they were all gone.

  He lapsed into silence, but inside his head, the diatribe went on unabated until the dishes were cleaned and put away. On a normal day, he’d leave the cabin to handle the day's chores. After a storm, the irrigation channels usually needed to be cleared of debris, and he still needed to check on the small orchard of fruit trees he was cultivating at the far edge of the farm.

  Instead, he decided to tidy up the cabin. Sevda would be stuck here for another day at least, and she wasn’t likely to want to sleep in bed with him tonight, not after everything they’d said to each other. With that in mind, he retrieved several blankets from their storage container beneath his bed and set them on the narrow couch that took up most of the living area wall. She’d have to curl up to fit, but it was more comfortable than the floor would be.

  The cabin seemed too quiet without her laughing presence. After years of silence, he thought he’d be irritated by any sort of company. Instead, the quiet felt wrong.

  “I’m losing my mind.” He tossed a pillow onto the couch with more force than necessary. “Everything was perfect until that damned female arrived. Maybe she brought some kind of pathogen with her. One that my medi-bots can’t fight.”

  An unexpected voice responded. “Pilot Rem does not carry any pathogens. If you are experiencing mental distress, the source will not be my pilot.”

  He spun around to glower at the comm device Sevda had left by the bed. “Eddi? Why are you eavesdropping on me? And for the record, my distress is most definitely being caused by your damned pilot.”

  “Pilot Rem activated Sunrise Protocol. I am programmed to monitor this frequency continuously to ensure that there is no danger to her.”

  “So, you’ve been listening in since we got here?”

  “Yes, Raze.”

  “Fraxxing wonderful. You must have gotten quite an earful.”

  “Technically, I do not have ears.”

  “I guess you don’t. Did you record anything you listened to?”

  “No. Recording only begins if I establish that my pilot is in danger.”

  “Thank the stars for that, at least. And for the record, your pilot is in no danger from me. You can deactivate Sunrise Protocol.”

  “You are not my pilot. I do not need to obey your directives. I will, however, verify with Sevda Rem if she wishes me to continue Sunrise Protocol upon her return. Do you think she’ll be gone long? I would like to give her an update on my repairs.”

  “I have no idea how long your stubborn pilot will stay away. She’s not very happy with me right now.”

  “She seemed happy with you last night.”

  He snorted. “We were both happier last night.”

  “I have been with Pilot Rem for more than four standard years. It is not common for her to be happy. She tells me that is because she won’t be happy until she is free. You made her laugh, even though she will not be free until we finish this mission. Then she will no longer be indebted to Torex and can sell me to buy a place on a colony planet.”

  “Wait. Back up. She’ll sell you? Don’t you belong to Torex?”

  “Torex requires all planetary scouts to purchase their own equipment, including a ship. Once a scout has worked long enough to pay off the basic equipment, they can upgrade again.”

  “And each time they upgrade their equipment, their debt to Torex increases again?”

  “Yes.”

  It was another kind of slavery, one that forced the slave to sell themselves over and over again. He hadn’t really understood how much control Torex had over Sevda’s life. She’d told him, but he had still thought of her as an employee, someone who worked for the corporations by choice. He’d been wrong.

  “If upgrading added to her debt load, why do it? Why not pay off what’s owed and leave?”

  “I am not sure I can answer your question. There are too many variables.”

  “Let me make it more specific, then. Why hasn’t Sevda left Torex, yet? You, and the ship you control, are obviously not basic equipment.”

  “I am most definitely not basic. I am a Seeker Class vessel with advanced AI functionality. It took my pilot many years of work to be able to acquire me. I have the longest range of any scout ship model currently on the market. My pilot purchased me so that she could be assigned to the highest risk missions to outlying areas like this one.”

  He finally understood. “More risk, more pay? She bought you to be free sooner?”

  “Yes. My pilot was indebted to Torex for both her upbringing and her cybernetic arm before she ever became a scout. To pay off her debts with lower risk missions would take another decade of her life.”

  “Thank you for
explaining, Eddi.”

  “You are welcome, Raze. It is part of my programming to see to my pilot’s health and wellbeing. The data I have collected indicate that you can make Sevda happy. Happiness is a desired condition that leads to wellness and stability.”

  He chuckled. “Are you matchmaking, Eddi?”

  “I am merely explaining the logic behind my decision to speak with you about my pilot.”

  “Right. Of course, that’s all you were doing. Thank you, Eddi. I’m going to find Sevda in a moment. I’ll bring the comm device when I do, and I’ll let her know you have an update.”

  “Thank you.”

  The cabin fell silent. It wasn’t a comfortable silence, though. Something told him it would be a long time before he enjoyed quiet solitude again. He looked over at the blankets and pillow he’d set out for Sevda and frowned. He didn’t want her to sleep somewhere else tonight. He wanted her with him.

  He tossed the blankets back under the bed, put a fresh log on the fire, and headed out to find Sevda. He had no idea what he was going to say, but he had a feeling his first words should probably be an apology.

  Sevda didn’t turn around until she was certain Raze was gone. She didn’t want him to see how much his rejection had hurt. It had been stupid to make the suggestion at all. They barely knew each other, but somehow… Veth, she had wanted him to say yes, but he hadn’t. She was the only female on the whole planet; his only chance to live, and he’d chosen death instead. Despite that, she still wanted to try and make him change his mind.

  “I’ve lost my mind. That has to be it.” She ran a hand over the rough edge of one of the grave markers. The name Talon was carved into the stone. She couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been for Raze to carry each of his dead siblings up here and bury them. It must have taken days. Then, when the war had ended, he’d come back here to stay with the only family he had.