Untold

by Nancy Ann Healy

  “I don’t know,” Cassidy admitted. She covered Alex’s hand with hers. “Loss is never easy. I don’t know what’s worse—never knowing, or knowing something horrific.”

  Alex sighed. “He’s not done.”

  Cassidy watched as Alex’s jaw became taut. Alex’s eyes never left Abby. “Alex?”

  Alex shook her head. “I’ll never understand it.”

  “How could you?” Cassidy asked. “I don’t know how anyone can understand that kind of violence,” she said. She placed a kiss on Abby’s head and started to move the sleeping toddler.

  “What are you doing?” Alex asked.

  “I’m going to put her down in her room.”

  “Cass, she can stay.”

  “She can, but she’s okay. She’ll be all right in her room.”

  “Cass…”

  Cassidy smiled. “I have a feeling you might be on the road a bit,” she said. “Call me selfish, I’d rather not have anyone between us tonight.”

  “I’ll take her,” Alex said. She lifted Abby and smiled at the toddler in her arms.

  Cassidy loved to watch Alex with their children. Alex always looked at them in complete wonderment, as if she couldn’t believe they were really hers. That had never changed, and Cassidy was confident that it never would. Alex moved slowly to the door, cooing to Abby when Abby wiggled in her arms.

  Cassidy closed her eyes for a moment. The day had taken its toll on Alex. Fatigue was evident in both Alex’s eyes and the slowness of her gait. “Oh, Alex.”

  ***

  Cassidy wasn’t surprised at Alex’s lengthy absence. She often found Alex sitting on the edge of one of their children’s beds while they slept, particularly when they were ill or upset about something. Cassidy thought she had given Alex enough time. The last thing she wanted was for Alex to spend time beating herself up over Abby’s mishap. She headed down the hall, and was surprised to find Alex sitting on the edge of Dylan’s empty bed.

  “Alex?”

  Alex looked up and smiled. “How did this happen?”

  Cassidy grinned. “Time flies, huh? He’s not leaving tomorrow, love.”

  “No, but he will be leaving.”

  Cassidy moved to sit beside Alex. “I know. Sometimes, I can’t believe it.”

  “He was so excited when I talked to him earlier.”

  “I know.”

  “He loves it there.”

  “He’ll be all right, Alex.”

  “Jonathan thinks I should talk to your dad.”

  Cassidy sighed. “You’re worried about what Chris might have done.”

  “I can’t help it, Cass.”

  “I know.”

  Alex looked at Cassidy. “You too?”

  “I’d be lying if I said I never thought about it.”

  “Do you think I should?”

  “Talk to Dad?” Cassidy asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “Couldn’t hurt.”

  “I just wish there was some way to know what O’Brien did.”

  “He might not have done anything,” Cassidy said.

  “What do you think?” Alex asked.

  Cassidy shook her head. “Where Chris is concerned, I’m not sure I’ll ever know what I think,” she admitted. “If anyone can help, it’s Dad.”

  Alex nodded.

  “Alex?”

  “I just hate it.”

  “What?”

  “That I can’t protect them,” Alex said.

  Cassidy kissed Alex on the cheek. “Tell me,” she said. She stood up and held out her hand. “Let’s go, Agent Toles.”

  “Is that an invitation?” Alex smirked.

  “Yep—to sleep.”

  “You mean to be your pillow.”

  Cassidy winked. “I think you might have that one backward.”

  “How do you figure?”

  Cassidy snickered.

  Alex laughed. Cassidy was right. She imagined it would surprise most people, but most nights, Alex fell asleep in the safety of Cassidy’s arms. “Well, I can’t help it if you are…”

  “Squishy?” Cassidy teased. Alex shrugged. “Yeah, well, I will be squishier soon,” Cassidy giggled.

  Alex pulled Cassidy to her and kissed her tenderly.

  “What was that for?” Cassidy asked.

  “Do I need a reason?”

  “Never.”

  ***

  Cassidy opened the front door and smiled at Claire. “Oh boy,” she said. “Coffee?” she asked.

  “Where’s Alex?”

  “Sleeping,” Cassidy said. “If you can believe that.”

  “She sleeps?” Claire asked as she followed Cassidy to the kitchen.

  Cassidy laughed. “Occasionally. You don’t look like you got much—sleep, that is. How is Hawk?”

  “Not speaking to me, I would imagine.”

  “What? Why not?”

  Claire shrugged.

  “Claire?”

  “She proposed.”

  Cassidy’s jaw fell open.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “What did you say?” Cassidy asked.

  “Not what she wanted to hear.”

  Cassidy nodded and poured Claire a cup of coffee. “And, how are you doing with that?”

  “Okay,” Claire replied honestly. Cassidy sat down and smiled at her. “I love her. I do.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m not ready for that, Cass. I’m not sure I will ever be ready for that.”

  “I know that too. What I don’t know is why you are so afraid of it.”

  “Marriage? Cassidy, come on.”

  Cassidy sipped from a glass of juice. “Do you want to?”

  “Get married?”

  “Get married to Hawk,” Cassidy clarified.

  “I want to be with Hawk.”

  “But, not married to Hawk.”

  “Why do we need to be married?” Claire asked with frustration. Cassidy took another sip from the glass in her hand. “You think I should,” Claire guessed.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “But, you do.”

  “No,” Cassidy set the glass on the table. “I think you should do what feels right to you.”

  “Really?”

  “Why does that surprise you?”

  “I don’t know. I just don’t see myself with a family.”

  Cassidy’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Claire? Is that what Hawk said—that she wanted to get married and have a family?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Uh-huh. What did she say—exactly?”

  “She said she wants to marry me because she loves me and she wants us to be committed.”

  Cassidy nodded.

  “I thought we already were,” Claire sighed.

  “I know.”

  “You know? Cassidy… Could you maybe give me something more than, ‘I know,’ here?”

  Cassidy chuckled. “I do know,” she told Claire. “Can I ask you something without you getting angry?”

  “If you have to ask that…”

  Cassidy laughed. “Can I?” Cassidy repeated her question. Claire nodded. “How much of this is about Eleana?”

  “Why does everyone think that?”

  “Maybe because Eleana is the one person you have always trusted completely, and that is not easy to let go of.”

  “That’s not true. I trust you.”

  Cassidy smiled. “Not the same, and you know it.”

  “I blew it with El. We all know that. I hurt her. Believe it or not, I’m glad that she found someone to give her what she deserves.”

  “Uh-huh. And, you think that you don’t deserve that too?”

  “Do I?”

  “I think so,” Cassidy replied.

  “Cassidy, I don’t,” Claire shook her head and sighed.

  “You’re afraid you will fail Hawk,” Cassidy said knowingly. Claire looked at her. “You are,” Cassidy said. “Claire,” Cassidy smiled at the younger woman. “You are not the same person you were
then.”

  “But, I am.”

  “No,” Cassidy disagreed. “You’ve grown. The fact that you understand that you hurt Eleana proves that. Your willingness to let her go, when part of her wanted you to hold on—your relationship with Hawk—all of it proves that.”

  “I know that she forgives me,” Claire said.

  “But, you can’t forgive yourself,” Cassidy interjected. Claire closed her eyes. “Maybe you should tell Hawk why you are reluctant to marry her.”

  “I did.”

  “Really? You said, ‘Hawk, I love you, but I don’t think I deserve you to love me. And, if I let you, I’m afraid I will ruin it.’ You actually said that?”

  “No.”

  “Maybe you should.”

  “Does it matter why?”

  “I think so,” Cassidy said.

  “Easy for you to say.”

  “No, it isn’t,” Cassidy disagreed. “You can take my advice or not. We all look in the mirror some days and wonder who is looking back. We all see those shadows looking back—the things we wish we could have done differently. We all do.”

  “I’m not the marrying kind.”

  “I wasn’t aware marriage applied to any certain kind of person.”

  “Cassidy, I can barely keep my refrigerator stocked.”

  Cassidy laughed. She patted Claire’s hand in encouragement. “Talk to Hawk,” she said.

  “I’m not sure she wants to hear anything I have to say unless it is in the form of a one-word answer called yes.”

  “I wouldn’t underestimate her,” Cassidy said.

  “Who are we underestimating?” Alex asked as she entered the room. “Hey,” she greeted Claire. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, some of us don’t roll out of bed at nine in the morning,” Claire offered.

  Cassidy hopped up and poured Alex a cup of coffee. “So? Where are you two off to today?” Cassidy inquired.

  “Looks like New York,” Claire said. She turned her attention to Alex. “Think you might be onto something,” she told her partner.

  “Care to explain?” Alex asked.

  Claire sighed.

  “It’s okay. I’m going to go check on Abby. See if she’s starting to stir at all,” Cassidy said.

  “Oh, shit! How is she?” Claire asked.

  “Sore,” Alex replied.

  “Alex was up with her a few times last night,” Cassidy explained. She leaned in and kissed Alex’s cheek. “Try not to overload on the caffeine,” she advised her wife. “And, you,” Cassidy looked at Claire. “Think about what I said.”

  “Yes, Mom,” Claire teased.

  Cassidy shook her head and started out of the room.

  “What did she tell you?” Alex asked Claire.

  “Oh, you know, to be less Claire-like.”

  “I did not,” Cassidy called back. “Think about it.”

  Alex snickered at the expression on Claire’s face. “She’s part bat,” Alex said.

  Claire rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder.

  Alex took a sip from her coffee cup. “She’s upstairs by now. What didn’t you want Cass to hear?”

  Claire groaned.

  “Claire?”

  “Eleana called me this morning.”

  “That’s unusual?” Alex asked. Claire tugged at her lip with her bottom teeth. Alex wondered if that was a typical habit for her partner when she was worried. Cassidy did the same thing. “Claire?”

  “No, it’s not as unusual as you might think,” Claire bit more harshly than she had intended. “Sorry.”

  Alex shook her head. “Why wouldn’t you want Cass to know that?”

  “She called about you.”

  “Me?”

  “Well, yeah. She said she was worried about me and you being partnered,” Claire explained. “I told her that I could handle you.”

  Alex snickered. “I’ve no doubt.”

  “That I can handle you?” Claire raised her brow.

  “Ha-ha.”

  “Really, I think she called because Krause is on his way to Moscow.”

  Alex sipped her coffee.

  “Want to tell me why Krause is off to Moscow to talk to Viktor Ivanov?”

  “Not really.”

  “Look, Alex… I know that this case is probably…”

  Alex held up a hand. “It’s Dylan.”

  “Dylan?”

  “Whatever O’Brien might have put in his head. Claire, if he goes into the military… In some ways as an officer he will be even more vulnerable.”

  Claire nodded. She doubted that Alex gave her much credit. Claire had known Alex longer than even Cassidy had. While she was confident that Alex doubted the sincerity of their original friendship/intimate engagements, the truth was that Claire had always admired Alex Toles. She’d never loved Alex. She liked Alex. And, Claire had regarded Alex as much more than the usual challenge she delighted in. She’d had years to study Alex from a myriad of vantage points. There was little doubt in Claire Brackett’s mind that Alex Toles’ return to the FBI, that working with Claire, that being back in the thick of her old life was conjuring old demons. Some old demons carried with them reason for concern.

  “Do you really think O’Brien played with Dylan’s head the way my father did with mine?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Claire nodded again. “Are you sure that the FBI is where you want to be?”

  “What?”

  “I’m just asking. Maybe you should go back to your true beginnings, Alex.”

  “I don’t want to go back to that life,” Alex said.

  Claire accepted the answer at face value. “If there is anything to worry about, Krause will find it.”

  “I hope so.”

  “So?” Claire changed the subject. “New York?”

  “New York.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  “Do you know how many cases are on my desk right now?”

  Alex made no reply. She respected Assistant Director Don Bower. She’d known him as a field agent during her time at FBI Headquarters. Right now, his caseload was not her concern.

  “If I fast-tracked every request for DNA…”

  “It’s not every case,” Alex replied evenly.

  “No, it’s your case,” he said.

  “Every minute that passes gives him a chance to get one more step ahead,” Alex said.

  Bower’s jaw clenched. “What makes you believe these are related?”

  Claire drummed her fingernails on her coffee cup.

  “Agent Brackett?” Bower addressed her. “Something you’d like to add?”

  The sarcasm laced grin Claire Brackett offered the assistant director almost sent Alex into a fit of laughter—almost.

  “Well?” he prodded Claire.

  Claire shrugged. “Maybe you should switch from using Schtick to Occam.”

  Alex chuckled.

  “Find that funny, Agent Toles?” he asked Alex.

  “Not really—just accurate,” Alex replied. “No matter what we find—there is a connection.”

  Bower groaned. He met Alex’s gaze. “Has it occurred to you that these might be unrelated?”

  “It occurred to me; yes,” Alex said.

  “For about five seconds,” Claire muttered.

  Bower studied the pair before him. He was surprised to surmise that they had fallen into a unique rhythm. Any successful partnership required balance. He had balked at Hawk’s suggestion to pair Brackett and Toles. Hawk had asked for his trust. As strange as it seemed to him, it appeared his colleague had been correct; Alex Toles and Claire Brackett complimented each other.

  “You think it’s the same guy,” he surmised.

  “I don’t know. I’d bet my career that they are connected somehow,” Alex replied.

  “Not a very risky bet considering you haven’t committed to more than this case,” he reminded her.

  “Okay, I’d bet her career on it,” Alex pointed at Claire.

  Claire smiled at thei
r superior. “She’s very generous.”

  Bower finally chuckled. “Well, you happen to be lucky on this one.”

  “How’s that?” Alex wondered.

  “Seems you still have some powerful allies.”

  Alex was genuinely curious.

  Bower chuckled again. “A certain popular governor has raised concerns about the well-being of her citizens.”

  “I’ll bet she has,” Alex smiled. She knew immediately who Bower was referencing—the governor of New York.

  Bower nodded. “So, fast-track it is. And, as a bonus, you get to brief the governor.” He handed both agents a piece of paper. “If the results are what you suspect,” he added. “And, these two women are the two who went missing ten years ago in New York, there will be a special task-force assigned. You’ll be the agent in charge, Toles.”

  “And, me?” Claire asked.

  Bower winked. “You keep her in line.”

  “Aww, shit,” Claire groaned.

  ***

  “Politicians,” Claire muttered.

  “This isn’t just any politician,” Alex replied. She took a deep breath and stood when the conference room door opened.

  “Please, sit,” the governor directed the group that had assembled. Her eyes met immediately with Alex’s. “Agent Toles, nice to see you again. I wish it were under different circumstances.”

  “Governor Reid,” Alex nodded.

  “Is there anyone you don’t know?” Claire whispered.

  Alex chuckled. Governor Candace Reid was a longtime friend of Cassidy’s and of the Merrow family. The governor and Cassidy’s ex-husband had both served as part of the congressional delegation from New York—Christopher O’Brien as a congressman and then Candace Fletcher as the senior senator. Alex admired the woman now seated at the end of the table. Candace Reid and Alex Toles shared more than a few things in common. They both had been close to President John Merrow, they both had a need to fix things, and they both were married to strong, intelligent women.

  “So,” the governor began. “I’ve got an entire corner of my state on edge over rumors and nothing I can give them as reassurance. Help me out,” she looked at Alex. “Are we dealing with an active serial killer here or not?”