Stand By Your Hitman

by Leslie Langtry

  I watched with my mouth open as the three of them walked away.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  DELIVERY MAN (inventorying the items he has just brought): Meat hooks, four lengths of chain, forty gallons of plasma, and an elephant syringe.

  —Attack of the 50 Foot Woman

  “Stupid, selfish bastards,” I mumbled as I made my way into the jungle, looking for my missing teammates. “All they care about is this idiotic game. There’s no way Sami would have copped out for a room at the Tigre.” In case you’re wondering, I do talk to myself a lot. I don’t know if it’s because I’m an inventor or if it’s due to the fact I spend so much time alone. Isolated. On an island.

  Sami and Isaac would’ve done the same for me. And I really wanted Sami to win. I got the distinct impression that she needed the money. If I hadn’t been a giant ass this morning, Lex would probably have been with me.

  I couldn’t blame him for being confused. Now he figured it really was just a game and this was a chance for him to win. Lex thought I’d used him. Why should he have trusted me?

  Because you slept with him, you moron! Okay, there was that. We’d shared an intimacy that made me feel like my organs had turned to goo. Images of making love to Lex spooled through my brain like an X-rated film reel.

  I’d really made a mess of things. Usually I like to make a mess of things. It’s how I make a lot of my discoveries. Like that time I spilled one of my chemical concoctions on Silly Putty. Wow—you should have seen what that did to comic book pictures!

  But in this case, someone had been hurt. I knew trying out a relationship would end in fiasco. Hadn’t I told Mom I didn’t need a man? More like shouldn’t have a man.

  What did Lex see in me anyway? He’d just met me. We knew nothing about each other except for some moments of explosive, sexual chemistry. Damn, he was good. That thing he did with his elbow was impressive.

  There was also a sense of ease I felt when I was around him. Lex made me feel completely comfortable. It was like we’d known each other forever. When you meet someone like that, it’s like a sixth sense kicks in.

  Great. Now I was utterly depressed. I had a great thing with a terrific guy and…and what? He’d overheard me saying that he meant nothing to me. Yeesh. Was I obsessing or what?

  And what about the fact he wouldn’t help me find Sami and Isaac? He wasn’t the greatest guy, I tried to keep telling myself. In case you’re wondering, it didn’t work.

  Several hours later (with a full-blown migraine), I still hadn’t found my missing teammates. I’d scoured the jungle, the beach and even the hotel. Stopping by the guesthouse, I ordered a tuna salad sandwich and a Diet Coke. No one was around. Maybe it made them feel too guilty? It was almost three in the afternoon when I headed back out to check the remaining grounds of the Tigre.

  Damn, it was getting late. It was only an hour away from dusk as I wandered onto the last hole on the resort golf course. It was then I heard what sounded like gravel swearing.

  Just off the eighteenth hole was a little maintenance shack. I rounded the corner to find Sami tied up like a cocoon on the ground, swearing up a blue streak with her voice half gone. After I untied her and broke into the shack to get her something to drink, she calmed down.

  “Bastards dragged me here and left me! I’m gonna kill ’em!”

  I let her rant for a while because she’d earned it. I even picked up some juicy new cuss words to use on my mother when she tries to set me up in the future.

  “Sami,” I said, trying to calm her down at last, “where did they take Isaac?”

  Sami stopped shouting and stared at me. “They took him too?”

  I nodded, and she began expelling expletives that didn’t even make sense. How could a jackass even have sex with a rat anyway?

  She seemed okay to walk and together we made our way through the falling darkness to the guesthouse.

  I stopped short of the tennis courts.

  “Sami, you go check in at the campsite so you don’t get disqualified. Then head to the guesthouse and tell Lex what happened. I’m going back out to find Isaac.”

  I thought she’d argue with me, but she was obviously exhausted.

  “Roger that.” She turned and vanished into the foliage.

  After “borrowing” a flashlight from a drunk security guard who was napping on the putting green, I decided to check out the rest of the area.

  My mood grew as dark as the night. Where was Isaac? Alan and Julie weren’t this good at hiding someone. Hell, they barely managed to think straight most of the time.

  I hoped Monty and Jack had found him. It occurred to me that I hadn’t seen the boys all day. That gave me heart palpitations that I was sure would leave a mark. Where in the hell were they?

  Of course, I started to panic. My kids were missing, and so was my Vic. My boyfriend hated me, as did everyone who worked on the show. Weathermen have the “lake effect”; Survival had the “Missi effect.”

  At least Sami appreciated me. That was some consolation. I was walking in circles and still saw no sign of Isaac, Monty or Jackson. Exhaustion descended like a wet, wool blanket in July. I needed to get back. There was the smallest hope I’d find Isaac at the campsite.

  No such luck. Julie and Alan looked pissed. Moe and Dr. Andy seemed upset that their odds of making the final four weren’t as good. Lex glanced at me with what I thought was curiosity. Oh, why did I have to think that? Getting my hopes up would only complicate things.

  “So, you’re finally back,” Julie sneered. I was seriously sick of her doing that.

  “Since you found Sami, she stays in the game. Isaac, however, is off.” Alan seemed to be taking pleasure in my failure to find Isaac.

  I was in some serious shit if I didn’t find him. I’d pretty much blown my assignment from the Council—something I’ve never done before. Not ever.

  I followed the rest of the team back to the guesthouse. Sami was the only one who talked to me. I got the feeling the others let her know they weren’t too happy to see her, but she didn’t care.

  Dinner arrived but my heart wasn’t in it. Food didn’t sound good. There was no room in my stomach for it. Between worrying about Vic (that was a new one) and the boys and being treated like a leper by Dr. Andy and Moe and being loathed by Lex, I had enough action in there to last a lifetime.

  “Thanks again for keeping me in the game, Missi.” Sami spoke so loud there was no doubting her intentions.

  “You’re welcome. After all, we did have an alliance.” I shot a snide look at Lex.

  “Could have fooled me after what I heard this morning,” Lex sniped. “You made it clear that you thought of this only as a game to be won.”

  “What the hell are you talking about, dumbass?” Sami gave him a look that should’ve melted his face.

  “Why don’t you tell her what you told Dr. Andy?” Lex pointed at me with his fork.

  Moe didn’t say anything but tried to give me a supportive smile. I felt bad that he had to witness this. It wasn’t his fault I was a jerk.

  “Let’s just calm down and talk this through…,” Dr. Andy started.

  “No thank you.” I threw my napkin on the table and slid my chair back.

  “Who cares what the bitch said? She’s the only ass-hole who came looking for me.” Sami winked at me.

  “She said she didn’t care for any of us. That this was a game and we didn’t mean anything to her,” Lex said quietly.

  Damn. I’d hurt him more than I thought.

  “She also acted like she didn’t believe there was any sabotage. And she didn’t think we should look into it,” he added.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Oh, it was on.

  “Well, maybe you are the one sabotaging the show.” Funny. Lex didn’t look like a man I wanted to kill.

  “Why would I sabotage the show?” I have to admit I was pretty shocked at the accusation. I never saw this coming.

  “Maybe you did it so you could guaran
tee a win. Although your generosity”—he waved his arms about him—“indicates that you don’t need the money.”

  Wow. That’s it. Just wow. I had nothing.

  “Oh, I get it,” Moe said thoughtfully. “She sabotaged it so she could play the hero.”

  “Uh, no. It’s not me,” I said numbly. “I lied to Dr. Andy. It was a stupid strategy, I’ll admit. I really do care about you guys.” I drew myself up to my full height. “But now that I see your true colors, Lex, I wonder how I let my feelings for you get so out of control.” I slid my chair dramatically under the table and went to my room, where I pouted. All night.

  Chapter Twenty-eight

  That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

  —Dorothy Parker

  Sami woke me in the morning, so I must have gotten some sleep. Apparently, I’d been crying, as was evidenced by my swollen eyes.

  After soaking my face for twenty minutes with a cold washcloth, I ventured out to breakfast. In my absence, one of the other guests had ordered Danishes and coffee. What ever. It all tasted like sawdust anyhow.

  We arrived at the campsite just seconds before Julie appeared. No one seemed to care about the consequences anymore. Last night took the fight out of everyone. Moe winked at me and Sami called me dumbass and that felt like a small victory. Lex never made eye contact.

  Julie chewed on her lip. Strangely enough, she didn’t have her clipboard with her.

  “I need all of you to follow me to the resort. I’ll explain once we get there.”

  That was weird, but none of us really cared. I was wavering between quitting and killing everyone, so my being rational was right out.

  To our dull surprise, Julie marched us into a conference room. Alan sat at a long table with what appeared to be network brass and the local police.

  “I need your attention.” Alan looked tired for the first time since I’d met him. “We’ve lost Isaac. The challenges for today are canceled and the police have some questions for you. Please cooperate with them.”

  My heart sank. I’d feared the worst and it had happened. Isaac was missing. I’d blown the job. The others looked around helplessly.

  “What do you mean, missing? How could you lose him?” Moe asked with a catch in his throat.

  Julie looked at Alan quickly, then responded. “He wasn’t where we left him. We’ve searched everywhere.” She shrugged.

  A lot of thoughts went through my mind. Isaac could have become the victim of foul play by the saboteur—whoever that was. Or maybe he’d figured me out and fled. In any case, things couldn’t have been worse. Either I’d screwed up or someone had done the job for me. And where were Monty and Jackson? No one could’ve taken all three of them. My boys were too well trained for that. Unless they were unconscious…

  An ugly, ovary-shrinking fear filled me. It had never occurred to me that they could be in danger. If something happened to my sons, I would never forgive myself. And then I would never forgive my mother. One was mental, the other would be physical.

  There was only one thing to do. I had to get to that mango tree, and I hoped that Monty and Jack were waiting for me there. But how? The conference room was locked up tighter than brand-new Tupperware.

  “I think I’m going to be sick.” What? I did a little acting in college. “I need to get out of here….” My body swayed and my eyes rolled back in my head as I staggered to the door. To my surprise, no one tried to stop me.

  “I’ll be right back,” I promised with a lie. As soon as the doors closed and without looking behind me even once, I ran until I got to my meeting place with the boys.

  “Monty! Jackson!” I shouted. Nothing. “Boys, it’s okay! I’m alone!” Still nothing.

  I imagined everything a mother imagines when her children are missing—from terrorists to ice picks to disfiguring acid. Okay, everything that a Bombay mother imagines.

  Snap out of it! What were the possibilities? This line of thinking slowed my pulse a bit. After taking a few cleansing breaths, I considered what might have happened. Either Isaac met with foul play or he was on the run. The boys were either with him or still looking for him. Okay. That seemed a little more realistic.

  Then, crazy mommy took over my brain. If they were with Isaac, they were most likely in trouble or they would have contacted me. Right?

  How long had I been sitting there? It felt like hours. Somehow I managed to convince myself that doing nothing was counterproductive. I started back toward the guesthouse. Sami and Moe would help me look for Isaac. They didn’t have to know that my sons were in the mix too.

  “Missi?” Dr. Andy was standing outside the door to the guesthouse. He came up to me, studying my face. “You weren’t sick, were you?”

  “You’re pretty intuitive, Doc.” I paused. “Can I ask you something, professionally?”

  He pulled up two plastic chairs and motioned for me to sit.

  I didn’t wait for him to ask. “You probably guessed that I’m worried about Isaac.”

  “You think you are somehow to blame. But you’re not, are you?”

  I shook my head. “No, I’m not the saboteur. I just feel like I didn’t look out for him.”

  “Do you have any children?” he asked.

  That got my attention. “Well, yes. Twin sons. They just turned seventeen.”

  He nodded. “I remembered you saying you were a widow. It’s very textbook.”

  I squinted at him. “It is? How so?”

  Dr. Andy leaned back and crossed his legs. “You have a mother-hen complex. Your husband’s death left you to raise two little boys. Now they’re grown and getting ready to leave the nest, right?”

  Did hens have nests? “Well, yes.”

  “That’s why you went after Sami when no one else would. That’s why you’ve looked out for all of us on the challenges and when there was danger. And that’s why you are obsessed with finding Isaac.”

  “Um, okay…”

  “You are facing your future. Your sons will go off to lead their own lives and you will be all alone. The whole world has started to become your nest. But you can’t save everyone, Missi. And you aren’t responsible for all of us. We’re adults, like you. You need to let go and move on.”

  I thought about what he said. There was some real insight there. I guess I’d misjudged him too.

  “That’s pretty good. I think you’ll go far as a television psychiatrist.”

  Dr. Andy’s face flushed a deep crimson. “Between you and me, Missi, I’m not really a doctor. I’m not even a certified therapist.”

  “Why are you telling me that?” I looked around but there were no cameras.

  He looked to his left and his right before continuing. “I took a couple of courses online. I just wanted you to know that this talent is all natural.”

  So he was bragging. I did not have time for this.

  “I was a follower of the late Anthony Lowe—well, before his unfortunate death in Indiana. I just wanted to see if I could do it.”

  “Great. I’ve got to go.” I pushed past him into the house.

  Sami and Lex turned when they saw me.

  “God damn!” Sami shouted as she ran to me. “You’re all right!”

  I wanted to tell her she couldn’t be more wrong. Lex gave me a weak grin. What the hell was that about?

  “I just came back to get some food and water and head out again to look for Isaac.”

  “We’ll go too,” Lex said.

  I turned to face him. “You don’t have to. Dr. Andy just informed me that I have an overdeveloped need to take care of people, so it’s my thing. Do whatever you want.” I threw the things I needed into my tote, threw it over my shoulder and turned toward the door.

  “Fuck that! We’re going with you.” Sami followed me out the door.

  I noticed that Dr. Andy was gone. Where was he? Moe was still absent. Maybe the fake doc was counseling him now. Poor kid.<
br />
  “All right, fine.” I sighed. “You two take the golf course—where I found you yesterday. I’ll head directly north, into the jungle. It’s the only area I haven’t been.”

  They looked like they were about to argue and I stopped them. “There is no discussion. Come and find me if you don’t locate Isaac.”

  They agreed, which was a good thing or I would’ve had to kill them. And I’m somewhat serious when I say that.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW: Look! An undead monkey!

  —Pirates of the Caribbe an: Dead Man’s Chest

  “All right boys, Momma’s coming,” I said quietly as I made my way through the trees and vines. My attitude had gone from freaked-out mother to Rambo-nator in a matter of seconds. This transition was important or I’d never have kept my head in whatever situation I found.

  This was the only area I hadn’t yet searched and I stayed close to the trail. I hoped something would surface to give me a clue.

  Even though I’d spent a lot of years in the lab, I still knew how to launch into stealth mode. I’d spent my whole life learning how to be silent and invisible—which was probably a lot different from growing up in other families. But if I’d had to kill someone, I could have. And if my kids were in danger, I’d take out anyone who had them, even if it was Isaac.

  Thinking about that for a moment made me realize that I was finally in the Bombay zone. If Isaac wasn’t dead or in danger from some mysterious stranger, he was probably holding my kids hostage. And that, I just couldn’t have. Mother hen, indeed. More like deadly-ninja-angry-mother-hen thingy!

  I went over various scenarios in my head, preparing for any kind of combat there might be. I’ve always been like that. It gives me quick reflexes and allows me to think fast and implement almost anything as a weapon. I remember this one time when I had to kill a guy with a drinking straw. That was actually funny. Because if you hold your thumb over one end of a straw, it’s pretty much a deadly weapon….