Cindersmellya: A Dark Comedy Fairytale Romance

by Alexis Angel

  His seed hits me straight in the face then, and I run my tongue between my lips, scooping it up. It’s salty and raw, and I swallow it at once, Daniel’s flavor going down my throat and lingering in my mouth.

  I give him my best grin as he finishes, his cock still twitching in his hand. With an exhausted sigh, he lays down next to me, his eyes closed as I turn to him and caress his chest with the tip of my fingers.

  “This was amazing…” I breathe out, and he just smiles at me. Of course it was; his exhausted eyes seem to tell me.

  Of course it was.

  California Sexing 3/15/2017

  I mean, because my job doesn't involve sex at all, right?

  Sure, I had welcome back to California sex.

  But it wasn't there same. Sure there was the crash of waves in the background, but it wasn't Hawaii.

  And then I went to get sushi for lunch today and you know what I realized?

  For thousands of years, men have been valuing women based on how big their tits are, how small their waist is, and how juicy their ass is. I mean, they do it so much that women do it to each other now too.

  So, lemme start my fucking rant. Because that shit is fucked up, but I almost get why men think like that. Those are physically attractive characteristics about a girl. And taken together, women are very beautiful. No wonder they've had wars fought over them in the past. And like anything shiny, it's something that rich and powerful men have wanted to acquire for as long as history has been written.

  Well guess what?

  All that is changing with me.

  A guy could be a fucking brain surgeon, from now on, I'm only gonna care about how big his cock is and how many abs he's got and how defined his muscles are.

  Guy became President of the United States? How big is his dick?

  Some guy rescued a kitty from a tree? Great, but what are those pecs like? And how big is his dick? If he's 12 inches, then he's STANDARD. If he's 11 inches, then he's "One Inch Short".

  I wanna get men as fucking insecure about their bodies as women. And on the flip side, fuck the world. If I wanna eat that last slice of pie, then fuck you world for telling me I gotta be a size 0.

  This shit needs to fucking stop. When I was growing up, my mom told me that I couldn't eat certain foods or I'd gain weight and never get married. It wasn't her fault. The people around me all ate like so little it's still something I sometimes have to work on - to remember to eat. And of course I'm not married yet, but that's because I like sucking dick. Lots of dick. With lot's of yummy cum spraying on my face and on my tits.

  Oh, speaking of which, yesterday to the guy that was here, I was like "Yeah, fuck me, Daddy," and he got so weirded out. I mean, he still finished but he was like Jesus what is it with you. So I showed him like the Top 1000 books on Amazon and he was like uhmm, ok wow. Then we had sex again and he was about to fall asleep but I wanted him to leave, so I wrapped myself around him and said "You fuck me so good, Daddy" and he basically left. So I found a good way to get rid of guys! Yay!!

  Love and kisses and lots of hugs!

  Alexis

  So Sore! 3/16/2017

  I'm sore from exercise. And by exercise I mean a boot camp program I started!

  Seriously, get your mind outta the gutter lol! Although I was telling Jillian Quinn how sore I am and she was like from a booty call? And I was like no from boot camp? And she was like, not from sex? Sex is exercise, right?

  And I just shook my head to myself because I am so sore I can barely think. Like I'm so sore that it took me this long to even send out my email. All I wanna do is fall asleep. And wake up in like a year.

  So this is the first day of this boot camp thing and it's something I did after Hawaii because I knew after all the eating and drinking I was gonna be doing there I would need to lose 5 pounds fast. Especially since summer is coming. And summer means you gotta be bikini ready. Seriously this summer I need to live at the beach.

  So Men of the House is coming to you - a collaboration between me and Lana Hartley - and we're writing as Abby Angel. You already saw the chapter and gave me your feedback - it was soooo helpful and it's coming to ARC this Sunday! Releasing this Monday.

  Which is about the same time that Kendall Vs. Twins comes out with Savannah May. So much smut cumming your way. How will you keep your head above all this filth? Oh that's right, we like to wallow in it, like bad lil' slutty angels, don't we?

  Oh, that reminds me. I got an email yesterday from someone! Here, lemme show you!

  So then I was polite. I was like, oh, I'm sorry. Would you like me to unsubscribe you? And they were polite too - and were all like yes please.

  But I asked the last question - like why do you not like me? Why do you hate me so much?

  And no answer. Like why the fuck did you sign up for my newsletter?

  Did you think I was some sweet woman who subscribed to the whole man is my anchor I can't live without a fucking husband ideology?

  What?

  Do I offend them with my whole rant about pussy first?

  Do they get fucking offended by my "unladylike" way of fucking talking?

  Well, fuck that. Remember my two words? To the haters?

  Fuck off.

  Haha, yep. First hate mail. And I finally got to say fuck off to someone.

  Hugs and kisses and lots of love!

  Alexis

  Morning Cock 3/20/2017

  We're waiting for Mona Cox to go live, in the meantime, here is what is going on!

  Not much. You know how much I hate Mondays. I went to this guys house last night but I was so tired from 3 parties on Facebook and ARCs I just fell asleep.

  I mean, I woke up in the morning and made up for it, don't get me wrong. But then my friend texted me as I was jerking the guy and I stopped. I mean I was still asleep but you know when you're asleep and you wake yourself up on a cock? It was an okay cock. Maybe 8 inches. Nothing to write home about, but nothing that makes you go ew.

  That's how much I love my readers who text me. Or how much I'm just whatever about this guy, I was like oh hey ya lets chat.

  So this guy has blue balls. It's okay. I'll take care of it tonight. I have a surprise planned. After writing my Mona Cox I'm going to buy some La Perla today. And then I'm gonna do some sexy sexy seducing for this guy otherwise his ego will never recover.

  Sex Haze! 3/23/2017

  I promise it's not a sex haze or anything!

  I think it was the fact that I got back from vacation, released two books and went from Facebook party to Facebook party that I'm losing a grip on certain things.

  And Cheryl, wow you gotta really admire my PA because she's putting most of the odds and ends together and keeping it from falling apart lol.

  Like wanna take a peek back behind the curtain? Here is a normal day between me and Cheryl Maddox, my PA texting....

  Cheryl: Good morning, Angel. ;) Did you sleep well?

  Alexis: I'm so sleepy. Why you wake me so early?

  Cheryl: It's 10 am, love. I've been up for 7 hours already.

  Alexis: Ooooh. Is there man meat in DLA? I'm horny!

  Cheryl: When are you not, dear? Did you pick winners yet for the Angel Game?

  Alexis: No, I gotta do that. But lemme tell you about this guy that came over last night.

  Cheryl: Smh. You need to pick winners and then go do your newsletter. And then you need to write.

  Alexis: Ya, but this guy, his cock was like so freakin' big

  Cheryl: Also you need to give me quotes from your book for teasers. And you need write.

  Alexis: Ya, but babe, did you get any last night?

  Cheryl: How about if you pick winner then I tell you. Oh and you have a party in 2 hours.

  Alexis: Can I just stay in bed? I'm on DLA and these pictures are getting me hornier.

  Cheryl: If you can do all that from bed, sure! :)

  Alexis: I wanna cum first!

  Cheryl: Then you have 3 minutes.

  Alexis: Wai
t, I'm not that wet yet.

  Cheryl: Doesn't matter. The clock is ticking.

  Alexis: Wait babe, my clit is still sore!

  Cheryl: 2 minutes 30 seconds

  Alexis: oooh. im typng one hand! Can you send me some pictures?

  Cheryl: No. LMAO

  Alexis: I can't cum in 2 minutes!

  Cheryl: Well, then here are the links to the games. Go pick winners instead. It's like cumming, but work.

  Alexis: :(

  Cheryl: Love you too

  You see why I love her so much?

  Sorry 3/24/2017

  I apologize.

  Dear Angels,

  Earlier today (or yesterday, depending on your time zone) I sent a newsletter out which referenced the tragic events in London. At the time I was writing my newsletter, I was upset and speaking from a place of anger, desperation, and sadness while still attempting to go through my day. Prior to writing, I used to live for 6 months in Kensington – a neighborhood in London – and so this was something that hit me close to home.

  None of this is an excuse and really cannot justify the words that I used. But I wish to state my profound apologies to anyone who felt offended at my email. It was not my intent to use tragic events to sell books but in hindsight I see that’s exactly what it looks like. I have no excuse for my actions except to apologize for a very egregious mistake.

  It took one of my role models in this business who I look up to having to point out something I feel I should have noticed.

  I’ve gone through prior correspondence and while I am always about the empowerment of women, I now realize there is a very fine line between being in your face about being empowered and being offensive. I’m not looking to be offensive.

  Going forward, I promise to do better. My goal is as always to create engaging stories that make you laugh and get you hot. It is the most rewarding job I have ever had. But like everyone, I am still learning and today I made a mistake.

  I hope that you can accept my apologies and forgive me, and know that I will learn from this mistake and never make it again.

  With Regrets,

  Alexis Angel

  New York City 3/25/2017

  But, fear not. Even on vacation, you can’t get rid of me.

  I mean, I guess you can try to unsubscribe, but why would you do that? Don’t you love me?

  If you’re shaking your head right now because you don’t love me because I haven’t answered your email, lemme just say that I am sooooo behind.

  In the last like three days I’ve gotten so much love from you guys! Like there are thousands of people on this NL, and I think over 2,000 emails have poured through. I’ve read them all, and they all made me smile - but I had to read them quickly and start responding one by one.

  And, I’m going to New York City for the weekend. I’m actually just arrived at the lounge in the airport right now and I was like hmmm, something is missing. Right, I haven’t talked to my Naughty Angels yet today lol!

  And yes, the whole thing about 4 suitcases is absolutely true. Although to be honest, one suitcase is still a carry-on and the other three aren’t like super huge - just like 40 pounds each.

  Suitcase #1: Lingerie, sex toys (only 2!), shoes (ballet flats, sneakers, several pairs of heels, gym shoes, flip flops, Uggs, boots (regular and fuck me)), makeup kit, hair dryer, more lingerie.

  Suitcase #2: Winter clothes and 4 tablets and a kindle

  Suitcase #3: Summer clothes in case it gets warm and shorts and sundresses and t shirts and some formal clothes in case I wanna role play with the Mr. NYC.

  Oh ya, there is a guy involved. We dated for some time in the past but then had a 3 some and he realized he was happier with men and thus ended our relationship. But we are still friends that uhmm…hang out. At the time Mr. NYC and I broke up I lived in NYC and worked on Wall Street and never thought that one day I’d write romance otherwise I’d totally take notes.

  City Girl 3/26/2017

  Let’s talk for a moment how I’m just a city girl…

  That’s right. I got here with my 3 giant suitcases and one carry on and I realized that you can take me outta the big city but you can’t take the city out of me.

  From the rooftop bars of 230 Fifth to the tennis courts of Central Park, I think I was made to enjoy this city omg.

  I’m staying at the W in midtown right now, and like yesterday I got in towards like the evening and had a late dinner at Criff Dogs (lol) and then met a girlfriend for a drink at Bemelman’s. Of course, there’s ice cream at Serendipity in the cards and frozen yogurt at 40 Carrot. Shopping at Bloomies and Saks and buying lingerie (more) at La Perla. I gotta do a sesh at Sephora just because and today I went to the Whole Foods at the Time Warner Center hoping to run into hot guys at the hot food deli lol.

  O ya, I talked to the doorman at One57 since you know, its always featured in my book. Had a hot dog outside Trump International at Columbus Circle. I’m doing my NL right now and then I think we’re gonna get a drink at Stone Rose back at Time Warner and then Meatball Shoppe down in LES.

  Tomorrow, it’s tennis in the park if the weather is okay and then brunch at Balthazar. Then a long day of day drinking on the Upper West Side, starting with Brother Jimmy’s and then I think dinner at Spotted Pig and maybe drinks at Agave. Oh I so wanna go clubbing tonight but I dunno what clubs are hot anymore. Back in the day Bungalow 8 was cool, but I was more of a Pink Elephant girl.

  Ya, New York City values lol. I hope maybe get some loving tonight too - one can always hope right?

  But you know what’s better than just sex? Like dirty filthy sex is great, but you know what’s better?

  Love.

  I’m becoming a sucker for love again, I can tell. It took me a while, but I’m getting ready to look for love all over again. My heart is healed and my eyes are looking. And I’ve been casting about today. I figure I’ll start at PJ Clarkes on Monday, after the I-bankers from Citi, Goldman, and BlackRock get off work and start to congregate. Maybe move down to Papillon to see about the Sherman & Stearling lawyers and then go down to Stone Street and Delmonico’s for the Sullivan & Cromwell associates.

  You don’t have to work on Wall Street to woo me. But you do have to be strong and confident. Hot is a plus. We all know about the 12 inches thing. I don’t need a cowboy, but I do need someone I can ride. Kind. Faithful. Honest. Caring. Must love dogs.

  Any other qualities I’m missing?

  Thank You 3/28/2017

  Oh my God! Men of the House is #81!! In the entire Amazon store!!

  I literally cannot believe it! I mean yes, I've been here before but I'm just always so humbled that people are reading. The amount of love that you guys show me is just sometimes so much I just wanna cry. But like a good cry, you know? Because it just feels so powerful. I dunno, I don't know if it makes any sense. Like you feel all happy and wanna hug a pillow because you can't believe like people all around the world are reading it. I know, I'm sounding crazy...sooooo lemme stop.

  But I wanna make sure that you know that I appreciate it. I love all my readers, or even people who know who I am lol. I know sometimes I sound angry or like total bitch, but I'm really just a sweet girl looking for love. I like pink and I like sexy and I like being cute and making people laugh.

  But I also like doing things that are nice for people and making them squeal (yes, both types of squeal, LOL).

  So to say thank you, I'm gonna do this.

  I don't usually give my books away for free, but I'm gonna do a freebie. I just don't know which one.

  So for the next few days, I'm gonna ask my readers. Respond back to me, and tell me what book from either my catalog, the Mona catalog, or the Abby Angel catalog you want to see free. I'll choose one based on your comments and push it out free for 2 days. And you can download and carry a lil piece of me wherever you go.

  Just so when you look at your library, you'll see the cover. And know that I love you so much.

  Really? 3/29/2017

/>   For the city that never sleeps, I seem to be doing a lot of sleeping...

  Just saying. I mean, yeah its been a great weekend and I got lots of good love, but last night, I mean wow. Maybe it was Sunday. Maybe it was a full moon. But I was at the hotel bar, having a cosmo, fuck me boots, black skirt, low top, and boy did I enjoy that cosmo.

  Then I had another! Sure I handled some nuts. They were the bartenders and he poured them into a little dish because they were bar nuts!