In Blood and Worth Loving 2: Lost Without You

by Marilyn Lee

  “Are you going back to see her?”

  He turned from his closet to stare at her. “As a matter of fact, I am.”

  “Why when she’s clearly incapable of satisfying you?”

  “I’ll be the judge of who does and doesn’t satisfy me,” he told her. “If you’d rather I didn’t call you again, just

  “I’ll be the judge of who does and doesn’t satisfy me,” he told her. “If you’d rather I didn’t call you again, just say so.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Then get a damned grip, Toni. I don’t attempt to control who you see or don’t see. Don’t make the mistake of trying to control who I fuck.”

  “Have you fucked her?”

  He didn’t bother answering.

  She tossed her hair. “I don’t sleep with anyone but you when Eliza’s away.”

  “That’s your choice. That’s not something I’ve ever asked or required of you. You’re free to sleep with whoever the hell you want.”

  “I don’t want to sleep with anyone else!”

  “Then act like it and stop deluding yourself into thinking I feel the same way!” he told her and stormed out.

  Toni called on the drive to Cayenne’s house. He allowed the call to go to voicemail. He was not in the mood to listen to a half-assed apology from her. It was time she accepted the fact that he had no emotional attachment to her.

  The next time he saw her, he’d tell her it was time for her to acquire other lovers—preferably human males she could dominate.

  When he arrived, Cayenne opened the door wearing a black, short-sleeved sequined dress that ended just below her knees and completely concealed her cleavage. Damn if she didn’t look sexy. Just looking at her and imagining sliding his cock into her pussy, fucking her hard and fast as he ingested her blood, made him hard. He swallowed, hard pressed not to take her in his arms and bury his incisors in her lovely neck.

  Instead, he silently offered her the red roses he’d bought on the way.

  Her eyes lit up and she leaned up to press a warm, sweet kiss against the corner of his mouth. “You’re going to spoil me with all these roses.”

  He put an arm around her, brushing his lips against her ear. “Oh, I’d like to really spoil you.” She smiled and placed the vase on the table in the foyer. “I think maybe we should go.” He caught her hand and pulled her into his embrace. “And I think we should skip dinner and go straight to desert.”

  She shook her head. “What we did earlier was a mistake.”

  “The hell it was.”

  She pulled away from him. “I know you didn’t get much out of it and I’m sorry about that.”

  “But?” he challenged.

  “But you know the deal.”

  He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. “Here’s the deal, Cayenne. It’ll be a cold, bloody day in hell before I let him have you back.”

  She stared at him. “If you keep talking like that things are going to get messy.”

  “They’re already messy.” Because he was prepared to kill her ex if necessary.

  She moistened her lips. “This is why our going out is not a good idea.”

  “I don’t give a flying fuck whether you think it’s a good idea or not. We’re going out.”

  “So now the veneer peels back and you admit you don’t care what I think?” She turned away.

  He curled his lip, feeling a sudden and unexpected rage. He caught her hand and turned her back to face him.

  “No. I don’t care what you think!”

  She compressed her lips and tugged at her hand.

  He tightened his grip.

  “Let me go, Jayvyn.”

  He sucked in an angry breath before he leaned down to hiss at her. “I’m not in the mood for any shit, so don’t give me any.”

  Noting a suddenly flash of fear in her gaze, he immediately released her hand and turned away from her.

  To his surprise, she slipped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his back. “Jay? You’re so tense. What’s wrong?”

  The hands sliding up and down his chest and the concern he heard in her voice, helped dissipate some of his agitation. Sucking in a deep breath, he placed his hands over hers. “I’m going to need you to be patient with me, sweet.”

  sweet.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  She was what was wrong. She was doing what she’d asked him not to do—make him feel things for her he didn’t want to feel. He lifted her hands to his lips. “I like you.”

  “I like you too.”

  “But you love him?”

  She released him and stepped back.

  He turned to face her. “Do you?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  Then he was definitely going to have to kill the bastard. He flashed a quick smile and glanced at his watch.

  “Now that we have that straight, we should go. We have reservations at Prime View.”

  “Really?”

  Prime View was one of the region’s premier restaurants. The portions were tiny, the prices obscene, and the view of the city spectacular.

  He nodded. “Is that a good really or an indifferent one?”

  “I took Michael there for our fifth anniversary.”

  “And that was how long before he left you?”

  She sighed. “Two months.”

  Bastard. He put an arm around her shoulders. “We’ll make more pleasant memories there tonight.”

  “I want to enjoy tonight with you so I’d rather not go there.” He tipped up her chin and kissed her lips quickly before licking a path across her face to her neck. “It just so happens I have backup reservations.”

  “You do?” She kissed him on the corner of his mouth. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “You are so sweet.”

  He slapped her on her ass. “Sweet?”

  “And…sexy.”

  “That’s better. Let’s go get to know each other better.”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  * * *

  There was a late model expensive car parked next to the one he’d lent her.

  “Oh, I have to get your key fob,” she said and turned to start back to the mailbox.

  He caught her hand and turned her back to face him. “Don’t bother. It’s yours.”

  “It’s not mine.”

  “I’m not taking it back. So unless you plan to abandon it, it’s yours.”

  “I can’t accept that.”

  “You already have.”

  “Jayvyn—”

  “Why continue an argument you can’t win, sweet? It’s yours.”

  “And whose car is this?” she asked as he opened the passenger door of the car he’d arrived in.

  “It belongs to my brother Conner.”

  She waited until they were settled into their seats and he’d started the car before she spoke again. “You can’t expect me to keep your car if you have to borrow your brother’s car.

  “I have two other vehicles, but they’re SUV’s and I knew you’d have heels on so I borrowed his car. When I have time, I’ll buy another car.”

  “Jayvyn—”

  “Let’s just drop the subject, Cayenne.”

  “Fine!”

  Once they were on the highway, Jayvyn put in a cd and sang Some Enchanted Evening to her.

  Hearing the chorus with the admonition not to let her go, she tingled. “What are they like?” she asked when the song ended.

  “What’s who like?”

  “What’s who like?”

  “Your women and why didn’t you go on vacation with the special one?”

  “She wanted to go alone and if I had gone, we wouldn’t have met. So aren’t you glad I didn’t go?”

  “Yes,” she admitted. “I am. I don’t want to, but it’s so hard not to like you.”

  “You know what they say?”

  “About what?” she asked.

  “Like can turn to love.”
r />   “Says who?”

  “Smokey Robinson,” he sang a quick verse of a song where a man told a woman he was staying around even though she didn’t love him at the moment because she wanted his company. And that like could turn to love.

  “In case you don’t know who he is—”

  “I know who Smokey Robinson is. My dad is one of his biggest fans. I grew up listening to Dad singing his songs to my Mom. I remember him singing one about building her a castle with a tower that reached the moon. My dad still calls my mom his queen of the stars.”

  “Do you take after her?”

  “Don’t I wish? Dad told me a few years ago that he fell in love with her the moment he saw her and that he was still falling.” She sighed. “That’s the kind of love I want.”

  “And you expect to get that from your ex?”

  “Jayvyn! Don’t. Please.”

  “Okay, as long as you know I’m serious.”

  “About what?”

  “Ensuring he doesn’t get you back—come hell or high water.”

  “I don’t want to argue and I don’t want to talk about him.”

  “Neither do I. Let’s kick his ass to the curb.”

  “Oh, Jayvyn. You’re impossible.”

  “It’s part of my charm,” he told her. “Don’t you think?”

  She studied his profile. “I think I want to change my mind.”

  “About?”

  “Center View. Let’s have dinner there.”

  “Now you’re talking, sweet.” Without taking his gaze off the road, he reached out to caress her cheek.

  She turned her head and kissed his fingers before he put his hand back on the steering wheel.

  For the rest of the thirty-minute drive, he sang love songs to her.

  He had a sexy voice with an amazing range. She kept her eyes closed and enjoyed in silence.

  Cayenne was thrilled to find they sat next to the floor to ceiling windows. Two candles lit their table for two.

  The dim lighting enhanced the romantic ambience.

  During the meal, he was attentive and charming, never allowing his gaze to wander from her face. Whenever she allowed it, he held her hand. Under the allure of his obvious interest, memories of her only other meal there vanished. Her desire to learn more about him increased.

  “What do you do for a living, Jayvyn?”

  “I’m a carpenter.”

  “A carpenter?” She thought of all the money he’d spent on roses, the car he insisted on gifting to her, and their meal.

  He nodded.

  “But how you can afford…?” She stared at him. Clearly, he must be living beyond his means. She had to find a way to discourage him from sending her roses every few days and she definitely could not keep his car.

  “How can I afford what? To woo you?”

  Her cheeks burned. She nodded slowly.

  He leaned forward and spoke in a sotto whisper. “Just between us, I’ve become quite adept at robbing banks.” She stared at him with her lips parted. Was he serious?

  He stared back for several long moments before he laughed and squeezed her hand. “Don’t you worry, sweet.

  I’m not spending myself into the poor house.”

  “Okay, but please don’t keep sending so many roses. They’re not cheap and you have to take your car back.”

  “Allow me to worry about my finances and we’re not going to discuss the car again.” He released her hand and sat back in his seat. “I understand you’re an outstanding paralegal.” She smiled. “You’ve been talking to Rayna.”

  He shrugged. “She says you’re one of the best she’s ever met.”

  “I enjoy my job so I think that helps to ensure I do an adequate job.”

  “You’ve never wanted to be a lawyer?”

  She sighed. “I did, but I had student loans and I really needed to start earning my keep.”

  “What about after you were married? Why didn’t he pay your way to law school?”

  “He said one lawyer in the family was enough and anyway, do you have any idea how expensive law school is?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do and I think your ex was afraid if you became a lawyer, you’d outshine him.”

  “That’s a sweet sentiment, Jay, but he has nothing to fear.”

  “I hear he’s only a fair to middling lawyer.”

  “Rayna, again?” She shook her head. “She’s being kind because we paralegals have to stick together.”

  “Then you don’t know?”

  “Know what?” she asked.

  “Rayna is a member of both the Pennsylvania and New York bar. “ She blinked. “She’s a lawyer?”

  “A damn good one.”

  “I don’t understand. Why is she working as a paralegal? Did she run into problems with her license?

  “No. There’s no problem with her license. She’ll never admit it, but she’s brilliant and easily bored. She has more than one degree and likes to make use of them at different intervals, but that’s enough about Rayna.

  “Let’s discuss the elephant in the room.”

  “What elephant?”

  “Your ex.”

  She tensed. “What about him?”

  “What’s his hold over you? His cock size?”

  Cayenne felt an angry blush heating her face. She forced herself to meet his gaze. “If you’re expecting me to deny he’s well-endowed and a skillful lover, you’re going to be disappointed.” He shook his head. “You’re old enough to know that cock size isn’t that important, Cayenne.” She compressed her lips. “And you’re old enough to know I’m just as entitled to my preferences as you are.”

  “What?”

  “You can’t keep your hands off my butt or your mouth off my neck. So I’m assuming you like big asses and my neck. If you can behave like a…bloodsucking leech around my neck, I don’t expect to be taken to task because I like my men well-hung.”

  His gaze narrowed. “By bloodsucking leech, you mean—”

  “I mean like a vampire, Jayvyn.”

  “You consider vampires bloodsucking leeches?”

  “Parasitic, bloodsucking leeches. Thank God they don’t exist.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “I sure hope so. I’d hate to think they were real.”

  “I see. So if a man isn’t well-hung, he’s wasting his time with you?”

  “I like what I like.”

  “Meaning a man who’s a parasitic, bloodsucking leach and not well-hung doesn’t have a chance with you?” She shrugged.

  “There are other ways of pleasing a woman.”

  As he’d pleased her using his tongue, mouth, and fingers because he had a small cock? Recalling that she’d never once felt his cock, no matter how aroused he was, filled her with a sense of sadness. Charming, attractive, romantic, and incredibly small?

  She stared at him. What a waste.

  “Cayenne?”

  She blinked and nodded. “I know that, but I’m a woman and even though I enjoy those other methods, there’s She blinked and nodded. “I know that, but I’m a woman and even though I enjoy those other methods, there’s no substitute for feeling a well-hung, skillful lover inside you.”

  “I see.”

  “But not every woman feels that way, Jay. So please don’t get discouraged or take my words out of context.” He arched a brow. “Are you attempting to commiserate with me on the size of my cock?” She blushed and looked away. “I’m sorry.”

  “I think we’ve discussed cock size ad nauseam. What do you say we go dancing in the moonlight?” She nodded, relieved that he didn’t seem angry. Over the years, he’d probably learned to work with what he had.

  Moments later, she closed her eyes with a sigh as he slipped his arms around her.

  They slow danced in silence.

  In his arms, she felt safe, cherished, and desirable.

  When they left Center View, he made no effort to touch her. Once in his car, he turned on the stereo but didn’t sin
g. Each time she glanced at him, she found his gaze firmly on the road ahead.

  “Is something wrong, Jayvyn?”

  “No.”

  She frowned. While his voice sounded normal, she felt a tension in him. She made several attempts to engage him in conversation, but he rebuffed all her efforts until she finally took the hint and fell silent.

  The moment she opened her front door, he nodded curtly, and walked away.

  She stared after him. “Jayvyn!”

  He shook his head and kept walking. Moments later, he got into his car and drove away, leaving her standing on her doorsteps.

  Clearly, he was sensitive about his cock size and she’d unintentionally injured his pride.

  Uncertain what she could say or do to repair the damage she’d done, she undressed and had a long soak.

  Halfway through, she realized tears were sliding down her cheeks. She wiped them away. Get a grip, Cay. You were honest with him and you didn’t mean to hurt him. If he can’t appreciate that, it’s just as well if you don’t see each other again.

  Instead of comforting her, the thought depressed her. When the water cooled, she dried off, pulled on a sexy thong, and climbed into bed. She lay awake for over an hour, talking herself out of calling Rayna to ask for Jayvyn’s phone number before she finally fell asleep.

  Chapter Six

  “She’s a silly, shallow bitch who deserves to be treated as badly as he treats her!”

  “You’re overreacting, Jayvyn.”

  Jayvyn stopped pacing the length of Macarik’s living room to stare at him. His friend sprawled in a chair, yawning. His hair spilled onto his bare shoulders. “Why the fuck don’t you get a haircut and dress when you invite guests over?” he demanded. “It’s uncivilized to sit around in your briefs.” Macarik arched a brow. “First, I’m home and I’ll wear what the fuck I like in my own house. Second, the length of my hair is none of your business. Third, I didn’t invite you over. You came barging in. If you cast that jealous, pee-brain of yours back, you’ll recall that I was in bed asleep when you pulled one of your vampire tricks and just appeared in my bedroom! Fourth, it’s three in the fucking morning! What the hell do you expect me to have on? A suit and a tie? You’re lucky I have on briefs and that I wasn’t with a woman when you choose to make a nuisance of yourself!”