Whiskey and Regret

by Danielle James

  “Are we celebrating your new girlfriend?” She asked a warm smile spread across her cute face. It wasn’t harsh or pointed. It was easy and happy. I loved seeing her happy.

  “No...I’ll explain on the way,” he sighed.

  …

  TWENTY-FIVE

  My knees bumped against the table in the family mediator’s office. They didn’t have many tall men come in and sit down. I pushed away from the table and rested my ankle on my knee. I looked at my watch then at the door. Where the hell was Alexis?

  No sooner than the thought popped into my head did she walk through the door. She was decked out in Louis Vuitton from head to toe with Cartier diamonds sparkling in her ears, around her neck, and on her fingers. She got to keep all the jewelry I’d gifted her while we were married and it felt like she was throwing it right back in my face. I watched her touch the studs in her ear and check her watch before smiling at me.

  “Hello, Evander.” I knew she had some bullshit up her sleeve because usually, she called me Van. Evander meant there was a world of drama waiting for me.

  I knew I could expect theatrics from her but what I wasn’t expecting was for my father to walk through the door right behind her. I opened my mouth then closed it, unsure of what to say.

  “Son,” Dad nodded at me before taking a seat at the head of the table like he owned the building.

  “What the hell are you doing here with Alexis, Dad? This is a family mediator’s office. Not family counseling.”

  “She is my daughter in law.”

  “Ex,” I said swiftly, holding a stiff finger in the air.

  “In any event, she is the mother of my grandchild and she has concerns about Frankie’s well-being with that…girl as her nanny and your new plaything.”

  “You’re shitting me. Alexis, are you that fucking petty? You brought my dad into this just to agree with your warped point of view?” A headache bloomed between my eyes.

  “He’s here for moral support and to agree with my concerns because let’s face it, nobody knows what poor Francesca sees when she’s holed up in that house with you and that bitch.”

  “Her name is Xari and you’re lucky we’re in a public place and I can’t put either one of you out.”

  “Whatever. She’s unfit to be around my daughter.” Alexis sat down and crossed her legs. A smug smirk curved her pink lips.

  I kept my mouth shut because if I opened it, I knew a bunch of expletives would jump out. When the mediator, Mrs. Reyes, walked in, she glanced around the rectangular table and exhaled.

  “And who do we have here with us today, Mr. and Mrs. Freeman?” I hated that Alexis refused to let my last name go. I didn’t want her to have any more ties to me once we split up. We had Frankie and she was enough.

  Besides, one day…I wanted to give Xari my last name.

  “Hello, my name is Warren Freeman, I’m Evander’s father and Francesca’s grandfather. I didn’t catch your name?” Dad flashed Mrs. Reyes a smile because no woman alive could resist his charm.

  “I didn’t throw it,” the mediator said, taking a seat at the other end of the table. “Sir, if you wouldn’t mind stepping into the waiting area while I speak with Evander and Alexis.”

  “I’m here for moral support and to also voice my concerns about…”

  “Well, that’s lovely,” she said, cutting him off. “But we don’t need any extra conflict here.”

  “Exactly,” I huffed.

  “Oh, you didn’t call your father in here?” Mrs. Reyes turned to me and blinked in disbelief.

  “Hell no.”

  “I thought since he was your dad that you had him come in support of you.”

  “No, Mrs. Reyes. I know better than to make your job harder than it already is,” I winked and laughed a little, and color rose to the apples of her cheeks.

  “It’s okay.” Her stern gaze was now focused on Alexis. “Mrs. Freeman, can you refrain from having additional, unplanned guests join us? It’ll make our time together a lot smoother.”

  “Sure. I just thought it would be helpful to hear Dad’s side of things too. We’re both concerned.”

  “That may be true but Evander’s father does not have custody of Francesca. I will hear your concerns when Mr. Freeman, the older one, is out of the office.” The awkward silence that followed was laughable. Dad had to scoot that chair back and walk out because he didn’t run everything everywhere.

  Once the door was closed, Mrs. Reyes looked between Alexis and me. “Okay, now tell me what brings us here today, Mrs. Freeman?”

  “Well, as I said on the phone, I’m concerned about Francesca’s constant presence in Evander’s home. He hired a nanny for Francesca without consulting me and he’s also fucking the bitch in my house.”

  “Woah, okay time out. We’re going to refrain from using language like that.” Mrs. Reyes held up her hand and shook her head.

  “Well, it’s true.”

  “Evander, did you start a relationship with your daughter’s nanny?” The mediator asked.

  I wanted to explain that Xari wasn’t just Frankie’s nanny. She was more. She’d always been more. I knew she would be the second she walked into my office for her interview.

  I saw the fire in her eyes, and she had the attitude to match. She was more than designer labels and a gorgeous face though. She was pure and good. I couldn’t say that about a lot of people. Hell, I couldn’t say it about my father or the mother of my child but I could say it about Xari. She was a good person.

  I couldn’t tell the mediator all of that so instead, I said, “Yes. I’m in a relationship with Frankie’s nanny.” She lifted an eyebrow then nodded.

  “See? He’s not even trying to hide it!” Alexis tossed her hand in the air, disgusted with me.

  “If he hid it, things would be worse,” Mrs. Reyes said.

  “Why would I hide it?” I frowned at Alexis.

  “You should be ashamed. She’s supposed to be there for Francesca. Not for you to stick your dick in.”

  “Alexis,” Mrs. Reyes warned.

  “I’m sorry. It just upsets me that he has this woman around my child. I’ve never liked her. This is all so inappropriate. You know they had sex right in front of Francesca’s face?”

  “That’s a motherfucking lie,” I blurted. “Excuse my language, I’m sorry.”

  “What’s the true story, Mr. Freeman?”

  “Wait why didn’t you reprimand him the way you did with me?” Alexis pouted. She looked so much like Frankie when she made that face.

  “Let’s continue. Evander, your ex-wife’s concerns are valid. Has Francesca seen anything inappropriate between you and her nanny?”

  “Well,” I sighed. “It was unintentional. She walked in on us before we had a chance to tell her what was going on.” I hated reliving that moment. Frankie looked so hurt. It was hard to believe three weeks had flown by since then. Frankie still got creeped out by seeing Xari and me hold hands or kiss but she was coming around nicely.

  “Was it a one-time incident?”

  “Yeah, of course. We all talked about it and she’s fine now. Actually, Frankie and Xari are in the neighborhood grabbing lunch. If it helps this session any, I can have Xari bring her over.”

  “That would be helpful. Don’t you agree, Miss Freeman? That way we can hear Frankie’s side of things.” She told me to call Frankie, so I did. I asked Xari to bring her over then went back to the session.

  “Mr. Freeman, you have to understand that having a new significant other can be jarring for children. This is especially true when your significant other is someone they see every day in another light.”

  “I get that, Mrs. Reyes. I do. That’s why we talked about it. Frankie sat down with me and Xari and had a conversation about our relationship. Nothing is going to change. I also apologized for her having to see something not meant for her eyes. I fail to understand why Alexis is bringing me in here just because I’m in a relationship.”

  I furled my brows to
gether and stared across the table, waiting for a response from Alexis. She pressed her lips into a thin line then cleared her throat. I’m sure it took a lot to dig down deep and find a lie to spew out.

  “Francesca doesn’t need to be exposed to your flings. She needs to be back with me. In my house. I want to get the lawyers involved.”

  “Fuck no.” Another outburst thanks to me. I apologized and Mrs. Reyes eyed me cautiously. “That’s not what we need. Frankie is settled with me and Xari. She’s fine.”

  “She called me to come get her because she didn’t feel loved. You’re freezing her out to spend time with your little girlfriend,” she snarled.

  “She called you because she was upset after she walked in on something I had no intention of her seeing. She’s been over it for weeks now, Alexis. Let it go.”

  “I’m going to speak now,” Mrs. Reyes said, holding her hand up, signaling for us to be quiet. “It seems there have been some errors in judgment but, Alexis, I don’t think it warrants bringing the lawyers in and changing the custody ruling. Currently, you both have shared custody with Mr. Freeman having full custody. You see your daughter regularly, right?”

  “Yes. I see her every other weekend.”

  “Have you noticed any bruises, signs of neglect, or noticeable change in attitude?”

  I wanted to hear what she was going to say. It wasn’t uncommon for Alexis to pull shit out of thin air and run with it.

  After a few long beats, she tipped her nose in the air and folded her arms across her chest. “No,” she admitted quietly.

  “Has she expressed a desire to live with you?” Right on cue, Frankie walked in. I caught a sliver of Xari’s body through the crack in the door before she was gone. Just that fast, my legs wanted to carry me to her.

  I stood to hug Frankie and kiss her cheek while Alexis opted for air kisses. Frankie sat down beside me and plopped her small bag of snacks on the table before smiling. After all the pleasantries, Mrs. Reyes dug into the meat of things.

  “So, can you tell me how your father being in a relationship with your nanny has affected you?” Her voice was pleasant and kind toward Frankie.

  “Um…I don’t know. Once I saw Xari was still my bestie and Daddy wasn’t being weird about it I was fine. I don’t care that much.” She gave a simple shrug and peered into the target bag on the table full of candy and a bag of chips.

  “Baby, you said you felt unloved.” Alexis stroked Frankie’s arm and fluttered her lashes trying to convey a quiet message.

  “When I found out…yeah. I felt a lot of things but I’m okay now, Mom. I like it where I’m at. I know that’s why you made this appointment. You want me to live with you.” Frankie’s full lips twitched with a frown.

  “I want to make sure you’re not being exposed to inappropriate things at your father’s house.”

  “You know I’m not. I walked in on them one time and that was it. It was a mistake. I was angry at first but I’m not anymore.” She shook her head and studied the wood grain pattern on the table. “I’m fine with Daddy and Xari. I’m glad they’re together because now, Dad is so happy. I don’t want to live with you and I want you to please stop being so mean to Xari.”

  Frankie finally lifted her warm brown eyes and looked at her mother. Nobody else in the room spoke because what Frankie said was poignant enough on its own. I almost felt bad for Alexis. Almost.

  “Well, I think Frankie is very apt at speaking for herself,” Mrs. Reyes said with a smile. “Did you both hear what she had to say?”

  “I did,” I smiled. Pride puffed my chest out. Frankie was coming into her own. I knew who she was would shift and change as she got older but right now, she was more confident than I’d ever seen her.

  “Are you sure your nanny isn’t coercing you into saying these things?” Alexis smoothed Frankie’s curls back and looked into her eyes.

  “No, Mom. Xari is so cool and she tries all the food I cook. You never try anything. She lets me try on her clothes and even borrow them sometimes. You never even let me touch your clothes. You should give her a chance instead of always being such a bully.” Indignation settled in the faint crease of her forehead as she spoke.

  “Listen, sweetheart…it takes a while for your mother to be open to new ideas. You had to warm up to the idea of Xari and me too, remember?” I touched her cheek and she nodded.

  “You don’t have to speak for me, Van. I’m a grown woman.”

  “I’m trying to help. Jesus.”

  “Well, Jesus doesn’t need your help and neither do I.”

  “Let’s settle down and go over the takeaways from today’s meeting.” There was no doubt in my mind Mrs. Reyes was ready to get rid of us. We’d been there for over an hour.

  I sat patiently and listened to the suggestions while Alexis wagged her foot back and forth and scowled the entire time. Mrs. Reyes pointed out that I could do better with communicating before things get out of hand and that Alexis needed to listen to Frankie more and not worry about my personal life.

  I couldn’t have agreed more.

  When we left the office and walked into the waiting area, I saw Xari sitting on one of the couches along the wall and my father sitting across the room from her. He looked stiff and tight, which let me know they weren’t just two people sitting in a room. They were in a silent standoff. Neither one of them wanted to be the first to stand and leave.

  When Xari saw me, she hopped up with a bright smile. “How is everything?” She asked, tossing an arm around Frankie.

  “Everything is fine. Let’s get out of here. We still have time today to hang out. Navy cleared all my appearances. They’re not necessary.”

  “Not necessary?” Dad’s voice piped up over the soft chatter between Frankie and Xari. “So not only are you turning into a bleeding-heart leftist, you’re blowing off your duties?”

  “I’m not blowing off anything. Everything that I needed to do is done. And honestly, it’s none of your concern what I do or don’t do, Dad.”

  “I put you in that seat so it damn well is my business.” Tension expanded between us. Xari took one look at me and held Frankie’s hand.

  “I’ll take her to the car.”

  “Thank you, Xari.” I kissed both my girls before they left and Alexis actually growled at me. She was a fucking animal.

  “You kissed that bitch in front of my child?”

  “I’m not doing this. Not with either one of you.” I turned to my father and said, “I’m not running for reelection. I’m done in the senate. I’m done with you too.” I didn’t even bother addressing Alexis. I left.

  I hated getting riled up like that before I had business to take care of. I set up a meeting with Nicole Philips at Bright House Publishing. I planned to accept the reworked offer of six million for a four-book deal. I couldn’t stand around bickering with my father and ex-wife. I had moves to make.

  When I got outside and saw Xari and Frankie, I remembered how easy it was for them to make me happy.

  My girls.

  My peace.

  My headaches.

  …

  TWENTY-SIX

  One month later…

  “Is everything okay? I mean does it look okay?” My forehead puckered under the weight of my frown. Evander looked up at me from his laptop and smiled. He knew it melted my heart.

  “It’s fine, Xari. You did a phenomenal job with the food. Your parents are going to love it. Don’t forget to send Frankie pictures of the table.” Frankie helped me make the broiled salmon and she was worried about if my parents would like it. She stressed over it until the minute she got into Alexis’s car.

  By the way, that bitch didn’t even come into the house to pick Frankie up. She pulled up outside and honked the horn twice before sending a text. Trash.

  I took a picture of the food spread out on the formal dining room table and sent it to Frankie. Broiled salmon, caramelized onions, and garlic mashed potatoes. I threw in a salad just because I knew Evander woul
d side-eye me if I didn’t add vegetables.

  “Okay, I’m going to change then it should be time for them to come over.” I rubbed my palms on my thighs and shook my nervous hands out.

  “Xari,” Evander called before I rushed up the steps. “Stop stressing. Your parents aren’t going to rip me a new one. I’ve been dealing with people in tough situations for longer than you’ve been alive. I’ll be fine.”

  “I know you will. I just wonder what they’ll say about me,” I confessed, my words softening. He stood to his feet and met me at the foot of the steps. His warm hand enveloped mine.

  “You have done a phenomenal job turning yourself around. Don’t second guess yourself. When you walked into my house for the very first time you had no idea how to take care of anyone. You barely were taking care of yourself. Now, you have Frankie on such a tight schedule I think even Alexis is afraid to deviate

  You didn’t have any other source of income. Now you have two months' worth of events lined up for notable clients. You’re only two more payments away from being debt-free.” He smiled at me and it was so warm and true, it stole the air from my lungs for a second.

  “The woman standing here right now is new and transformed,” he said. “I’m proud of who this woman has become.” He reached out and stroked the shell of my ear slowly before sliding down to my neck. His touch was silk and fire. “I’m even more proud to call you mine…forever.”

  My eyebrows lifted high on my forehead at the mention of forever. My features settled into an undeniable smile afterward. “What are you hinting at, Freeman?”

  “I’m hinting at forever. Not right now but when you’re ready.” He curled his fingers around the back of my neck then pulled me to his lips. His energy was so sure and constant. I wanted to take his pride for me and slather it on myself.

  “When I’m ready?” I smirked. “So you’re already there. You’re just waiting on me?”

  “Maybe.” He shrugged his broad shoulders.

  “What makes you think I’m not already ready?” I poked his sculpted chest and he laughed a little.