Mixed (A Recipe for Love Book 3)

by Lane Martin

  “Because why?” I knew I sounded like a child, but shit he was acting like one.

  “She’s not a baby Libby.” This couldn’t be the same guy.

  “So, if you and I had met in two or three years, would you feel differently about Aria?” I question unbelievingly as tears streamed down my face. Logan had loved Aria from the minute he heard her heartbeat. I had felt it that day, but I knew it now. He had told me himself.

  “Shit Lib, I don’t know what I would have felt.” He scrubbed his face with his free hand. He was struggling as much as I was. I knew he would love my daughter, our daughter. No matter, how she came to be or when he came into her life. I had no doubt, and even though I had no idea what I was doing half the time with Aria, I knew Clara was supposed to be with us. I didn’t know what to say because I was sure he knew it too, so I said nothing. Sometimes no words were the ones we heard the loudest. I rose from my seat and took Aria from him before sitting in his lap with the most precious gift I’d ever been given and kissed him with everything I had. We can do this. I love you. No regrets.

  The unplanned trip to California was very quick, and I thought it was pretty suspicious when Declan announced he and Logan were making a pit stop in California without us to talk to a restaurant group about a possible California location. Logan would never put his name on something he wasn’t involved with directly, and he couldn’t very well be in California and New York at the same time. Not to mention we already had a lot on our plates. My money was on Declan wanting to ask our father for Emily’s hand. Not that Dad deserved the respect, but that was the kind of man Declan was. And knowing how much they’d already lost, I doubted Declan was going to let very long go before he asked my sister to be his wife. I should have mentioned my suspicion to Logan, but he was acting strangely. This thing with Clara was eating away at him. I was trying to patient, but it wasn’t my strongest virtue. Neither was waiting for sex. Don’t judge me, but last night Declan and Emily decided to camp out by the lake. Our bedroom faced the water, and with our bedroom window open we heard everything. And I mean every single thing. At first, they were joking about the epic game of Apples to Apples we had played when he commanded she get her “luscious ass over here.” Luscious had been part of the game.

  “We shouldn’t be listening to this,” Logan whispered as he tried to get up to close the open window. I stopped him by tossing my leg over his and placing my arm on his bare chest.

  “Probably not,” I agreed before pressing my lips to his chest and trailing a hand down his muscular torso. He groaned when I skimmed my fingers across his sexy ass fuck boxer briefs.

  “Lib,” his whispered protest was also a plea. No, I couldn’t make love to him, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t make him feel good. I wasn’t sure whose groan filled the air, Declan’s or Logan’s. I pushed down his briefs, and his breath caught. His perfect thick cock twitched in my hand as I pumped him. My sister moaned, and Declan encouraged her to play with her “beautiful diddies.” Speaking of tits, mine were hard as a rock. The thought of what we were doing caused me a moment of hesitation. Was Logan thinking about Emily when she yelled, “Oh, God, yes. Jesus, fuck!”

  “It’s you, Libby.” He answered as if reading my mind. How did he always do that? I pumped his cock in gratitude before I took him in my mouth. He swelled as I wrapped my fingers around his base. My fingers barely touched. I touched the roof of my mouth, and he groaned as the underside of my tongue hit the rest of him. “Always you,” he grunted as my sister continued making her porn star noises. Logan went off like a rocket when Declan yelled, “fuck, yes!” Yeah, we were probably going to hell, but it was fucking hot. Logan pulled me up, so my head was resting once again on his chest.

  “You’re amazing Libby,” He kissed me on top of my head, “and I’m not talking about your blowjob skills babe.”

  We’d had enough serious moments for the day, “But you like those too.” I teased. He tightened his arm around me, and I could feel his smile form on the top of my head.

  “I love every part of you Libby.” It didn’t matter that Emily and Declan were laughing about popping their air mattress or that Aria decided to start crying, the moment was far from what most would consider perfect, but it was perfect for us and I would cherish it always.

  Logan: Landed safely heading to

  Swayed to check on progress

  While Logan and Declan made a “business side trip,” the rest of us, including his long-lost mother, returned to New York on the private jet. Logan was still acting strangely and as foolish as I felt because we hadn’t been apart that long, I missed him.

  Me: We’ll come visit you

  Logan: A CONSTRUCTION ZONE IS NO

  PLACE FOR ARIA. DO NOT COME HERE LIBBY!!!!!

  Geeze, shouty capitals, and extra explanation points. I got it. He didn’t want us at Swayed. For a second I questioned if he wanted us at all. Maybe that’s why he’s off. Stop Libby, just stop. “Baby girl you probably already know this, but I’m a little bit nuts.” I cooed at my daughter as I changed her diaper. Yeah, okay, I was officially losing it.

  Logan was unhappy when he finally got home, but he didn’t want to talk about what was bothering him. I knew something was up when we were summoned to my sisters for dinner. Our Aunt Maggie and her beau Billy arrived at the same time we did. Maggie was part of our chosen family. Aunt Maggie immediately took Aria. Logan’s jaw was clenched, and I swear if he held my hand any tighter he would break something. When my sister saw us, she looked at our men and assessed the situation before taking Aria from her Great Aunt. "If we had two babies, I'd hand you each one. Looks like you need her more than he does." Emily handed Logan our daughter, and instantly his entire demeanor changed. Then my sister turned her attention to Declan and commanded; "now you sit down."

  "Unless you want me to start calling you Dicklan again, you better start talking now." It wasn’t a shock to hear him say, “We have news about your father.” So, I was right, Declan and Logan had gone to see our father. The question was, why did Logan need to go with Declan for that? Was Logan angry because my dad was going to end up in the “clink” like grandma always predicted or because he found out I hadn’t notified dear old dad his granddaughter was born?

  “I don’t like this Lib.” We were in the back of the car riding home. It was decided Maggie was going to fly back to California to tell the news to mom in person. We all agreed it would be a splendid idea for her to come back with her, and not just for a visit. Mom would never admit she stayed in our old home to be close to dad after what he had put her through. I guess it was both a blessing and a curse that Emily and I were like her in that when we loved it was forever. Our mom would always love our dad. That’s just who she was.

  "I'm not exactly thrilled Logan. It's not every day you find out your dad is going to prison.” Oh, shit, his brother was in jail, and Logan felt responsible for putting him there. I backpedaled. “If he did the crime, he should do the time.” OK, so that wasn’t any better. I knew I shouldn’t have said it, but I had a tendency to joke around when things got too serious.

  “You didn’t tell him about Aria and you sure as hell didn’t tell him about me.” Oh, that.

  “We’re not very close Logan. I would have told him eventually.” I took his hand in mine. “I promise, I wasn’t hiding you or Aria. He just lost the right to be a part of my life when he screwed over my mom.” I hoped he would understand. My dad hadn’t completely abandoned us like his did, but he had let us down.

  “I get it, Libby.” He brought our joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of mine. I wondered if the reason for the visit with my father was what I believed. Part of me wondered if Logan would visit for the same reason one day. Visiting prisoners didn’t seem to be high on his priority list. Plus, Logan and I weren’t as traditional as Emily and Declan. I mean, they still attended church for god’s sake. And nothing screams out rebel like getting knocked up by one guy and having another one acting as the baby daddy.
I relaxed a little, and he continued, “I don’t think we’ve heard the last of Grant Barnes.” At dinner, Logan and Declan had both voiced concerns that dad might try and take advantage of them and us. I wasn’t concerned about me, and I knew Emily and Declan could handle dad.

  "I don't have anything worth any value." I looked at my daughter and realized that didn't come out right. I had a healthy child, a family who supported me, and a man who loved me. I was so rich in every way that mattered. "It's not like we're married or anything." I might as well have just punched him right in the gut. I actually heard his breath leave his body. I couldn’t say anything right tonight. I needed to fix this. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

  "Is the idea of us being married that repulsive to you?" Nothing could have been further from the truth. When we were in California, and I gazed at Logan holding Aria in a rocker overlooking the lake, and I saw it. Our future. That was if I didn’t ruin it first. Fuck a duck.

  Fuck! Was that really what she thought? I would marry her tomorrow, but I didn’t want her to think I was doing it for any other reason than I loved her. In California, I told Declan I was going to ask Libby to marry me and that I wanted to adopt Aria. We both busted a gut when he pulled out the engagement ring for Emily he’d been wearing around his neck since he left. He wanted to ask Grant Barnes for his blessing. I just wanted to meet the man; personally, I didn’t think I needed his permission to marry his daughter. It was her choice alone.

  The caseworker told me even though I was family, it wouldn’t mean I was automatically granted custody of my niece, but that I had an excellent chance. She also asked about my marital status and my living situation. She didn’t like the fact that three of us were already living in a one bedroom apartment. Not to mention I needed to figure out what my brother’s angle was in this. The similarities between Grant Barnes and my brother Chris were uncanny. They were both users. They would both do anything to serve themselves. I recognized it the second I met Libby’s father. He might as well have “what’s in it for me” tattooed on his forehead. The caseworker assured me that the only reason Chris hadn’t given up his parental rights yet was because he wanted to make sure I was willing to take Clara first. That it was his only way of having any say in her future. He supposedly wanted her with me. I guessed if I had read any of his letters I might have already known that. Gem practically ditched Clara. Clara was a kid and didn’t seem to understand that mommy wasn’t coming back. Hell, they hadn’t even been able to place her in a foster home because she kept running away, back to the receiving home where Gem left her off. To add to the problem Clara wasn’t talking to anyone. Libby just had a baby. We lived in a tiny apartment. We weren’t married, and that fucker Edward was Aria’s biological father. I knew I should just tell Libby what I wanted, but I couldn’t. This had to come from her.

  Logan tossed and turned all night. He called out Edward’s name in his sleep. I’d always believed Eric and Logan knew exactly where Edward was. They weren’t the kind of men who just sat back and let things happen. Those few days Edward was lurking around were so tense, and then poof, he was gone. It wasn’t like I thought they drowned him in the Hudson or anything, but after I hunkered down at Logan’s apartment for two days, he told me, “You don’t have to worry about Edward anymore.” The certainty in which he proclaimed it told me he knew where Edward had vanished to. Logan, Declan, and Eric weren’t the type of men to leave things up to chance. If they had a problem, the took care of it, and Edward was a very big problem. The issue was now I needed to know where Edward was. It wasn’t like the guys would just tell me if I asked. Emily and Declan were on their way out to the Hamptons, which meant I only needed to worry about Logan and Eric. I didn’t want Logan to know what I was planning. As much as it was about him, it was also about my daughter. I vowed to be a mom she was proud of, this was for her.

  “Is the coast clear?” I asked Suzie when she answered her door. She started laughing the moment she saw us.

  “What’s so funny?” My sisters best friend, Nat, asked with a straight face. I agreed, we looked ridiculous, but she’d told me if we were going to spy, we had to look the part. Even Aria was wearing all black with those reflective sunglasses.

  “You aren’t Mata Hari. Get in here before my neighbors leak a story to the paparazzi about me being into badass chicks or something.” As a television personality, everything Suzie did was scrutinized. She couldn’t go to the nail salon without it ending up in the tabloids. I didn’t envy her. Logan was at Swayed again. His laptop was in his office, so this was our next best bet. Eric thankfully had a no technology policy when he made off to the gym, so this was our chance to learn the truth.

  “Where is it?” Nat asked as she laced her fingers together, stretched out her arms, and cracked her fingers. I was already beginning to feel more like Lucy and Ethel than Thelma and Louise.

  “I don’t think you’ll be able to get in. He’s a private security consultant.” Nat was a talented web designer, but she assured me she was also a first-rate hacker.

  “Oh, I’ll get in.” Suzie showed her to Eric’s laptop on the kitchen table. I was not going to lie, seeing a folder with my dad’s name on it shook me up. Why couldn’t Eric just have one that said Edward too? Nat hit a few keystrokes before she burst out laughing.

  “What?” This couldn’t be good.

  “He’s good.” Nat stood from her chair and began to pace the room deep in thought.

  “Told ya,” Suzie was obviously proud of her husband.

  “I’m not done. I just need to think about this before I get kicked out and all the windows and doors lock us in till he gets back.” Drama much? Could Eric really do that? Suzie just smiled. Yeah, he probably could.

  “What nicknames does he call you?”

  “Sweetheart,” she answered lovingly.

  “Nope. No guy is ever going to use that as his password.” Nat paced some more. She still had her stupid sunglasses on until she snapped her fingers and took them off. She moved towards Suzie with purpose. Shit was this where I played the good cop.

  “You’re scaring me, Natalie,” Suzie giggled as she moved to my baby and me. Luckily, the cuteness factor was too much for Nat to handle and she broke character by lifting Aria’s shirt and blowing a raspberry on her and cooing, “Who’s your favorite auntie?”

  “Emily,” I deadpanned.

  “You’re no fun.” She put her sunglasses back on and resumed her interrogation. “What does Eric call you in the sack?”

  Suzie blushed from head to toe before looking down and squeaking out the word, “Kitten.” Nat rushed over to the computer.

  “Meow,” Nat declared clearly pleased with her hacking skills. After a few clicks, she began doing a victory dance. “Bingo! Mike and Mark are babysitting him up in Syracuse.” Mike and Mark Medina were Matt’s brothers. They were both cops. I had my suspicions about them. I mean come on, they were both in their thirties. They lived and work together, and according to their mother, Tami, they had “never brought a girl home.” Either they were freaks in the sheets, or they were gay. Hell, maybe they had a bro thing going on. Who was I to judge? Whatever floats your boat.

  “Now what?” A still embarrassed Suzie asked.

  “Road trip,” Nat announced without even missing a beat. “I’ll drive.” It felt so good to have these ladies. They didn’t have to help me. They wanted to help me, and it felt so amazing to know they had my back.

  “Your aunties are crazy baby girl.” Nat’s smile grew from ear to ear.

  “Hell yeah, we are.”

  “Shotgun,” Suzie called out. Shit, we were going to be in so much trouble. Especially since I needed to get some stuff from the apartment before we left.

  Suzie called Eric and told him that one of her crazy brides had called her with a “dress emergency.” Nat told Gabe she had to go meet with a client. Logan never called. Not that I could blame him. I’d fucked up royally.

  “You know he’s probably freaking out
right about now.” Nat was crazy as hell, but she was also a great friend. No wonder my sister loved her so much.

  “I know.” The minute he walked into the apartment he was going to notice. But I knew Edward. This was the only way I could beat him at his own game. If I asked him nicely, he’d fight me on it. It had to be his idea. I just needed for him to see with his own eyes. Fortunately for me, my hottie lawyer, Sheldon Bannon Esquire, already had what I needed prepared.

  Nat drove the car like it was stolen but we still had to stop twice so I could feed Aria. Now we sat in front of the address that was listed in one of the e-mails. “Are you sure he’s going to be here?”

  “That’s his truck.” I was actually a little shocked it made the trip from Nashville. The thing was a total piece of shit.

  Nat hit ignore on her phone for the fourth time. Mine was already off. “I don’t think we should let you go in alone.”

  “It’s got to be like this,” Edward had to believe Aria and I were here to stay. Otherwise, my plan wouldn’t work. I wasn’t going to lie, seeing him again wasn’t something I was looking forward to either. Not in the least, but if my plan worked it would be the last time. I knew it sounded crazy, but I cried when I covered my daughter in her car seat. I didn’t want Edward to ever have the pleasure of seeing the beautiful child he helped create. He didn’t deserve to see her. “I’ll put you on speaker on my phone in my pocket. If you hear anything, just interrupt us. Grab some stuff. If my plan works, I won’t even be going inside the apartment.” It was the best plan could come up with.

  Tires came to a screeching halt behind us. Mike, Mark, and a very pregnant woman got out of the car. By the way, they helped her it was obvious she was very special to them. Not gay. Maybe I was distracted by the fact we were standing outside of Edward’s apartment, but I wasn’t able to get a read on which one of them she was with, and then it dawned on me. She was with both of them. They shared. That was a new definition of brotherly love.