Mixed (A Recipe for Love Book 3)

by Lane Martin

  “That would be…” I couldn’t even finish my sentence.

  “I could reveal the new series.” It was her way of apologizing for making me the Nellie Oleson of her series. It was often reported that D. Mathair would never write anything but the Bash Series. The world didn’t know it, but she wrote it as a tribute to the son she gave up at birth. Brie started a new series when we were in California, right after she met Declan. Now that she had her son in her life she was ready to start something new. The sketches of the little girl we had seen were based on Aria, a story about a little girl who brought music to life. In reality, I think Aria brought both me and Logan to life.

  Libby was on cloud nine when she left Swayed. Kade accepted her job offer, and they began to plan a coming out party for D. Mathair for the grand opening. You couldn’t get any better press. The event would take place as soon as Emily and Declan arrived back from their honeymoon in Ireland. That gave us just under two weeks to meet Clara, move to the new apartment, and plan.

  “You’re in my shirt.” It was late, or maybe it was early. Boxes filled the room. It looked like she packed the entire apartment. Libby sat in her rocker holding a pad of paper. She wrote something down and immediately scratched it out.

  “I’m still trying to come up with the perfect name.” As I came closer, all I could see were words that were all scratched out. I needed to take her mind off it. She was thinking too hard.

  “Take it off mooch.” Hell, I didn’t care if she never wore anything but my shirts.

  “Mooch,” she repeated as she stood and put her hands on her hips, dropping the pad of paper and her pen at her feet. Yeah, baby. I like it when you’re feisty.

  “Mooch,” she said again, but this time it was different. She fell to her knees, but it wasn’t anything like the night before when she fell down on her knees for me. Nope, this time she was scrambling for the discarded pen and paper. “Mooch,” she repeated. She wrote something down.

  “Hooch. That’s it. Hooch.” What exactly was she getting at? “The name,” she explained because I still wasn’t getting it. “The name of our place is Hooch.”

  “Are you nervous?” Talk about a stupid question. Add it to my list. We’d just arrived at the receiving home. That was a terrible name if you asked me. What exactly were the kids receiving? Logan hadn’t stopped flipping his mother’s sobriety chip since the team of movers from Gabe’s moving company left. “I wonder what her favorite color is. Did you know her mom? What kind of name is Gem anyway? What’s the name of her caseworker? Does she have any allergies?” Apparently, I had diarrhea of the mouth. I couldn’t stop. I had a million questions, but instead of keeping them to myself I’d decided that Logan needed to know each and every one of them.

  “Hey,” Logan stopped me from taking another step by grabbing my hand. I knew how hard this was for him. I could see it in his eyes. I knew he wanted to help Clara, but at the same time, he was conflicted. He didn’t want anything to do with his brother, and I couldn’t say that I didn’t blame him. Logan worked very hard to get out of that life. If he had gone down his brother’s path more than likely he would be in jail with him now, or worse. I’d always been a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. I mean look at everything that had to happen for us to be where we are now. Chris and Logan. Logan and Declan. Declan and Emily. Emily and Logan. Logan and finally me. If just one of those relationships were different, we wouldn’t be where we were today. The same was true for Clara, but it was still a frightening situation. Logan pocketed the chip before running the back of his hand down the side of my face. I tipped my head into his gentle touch. “One thing at a time,” he reminded me before gently pressing his lips against mine.

  We waited inside a small room with a one-way mirror that looked into a small playroom. Jacqui, Clara’s caseworker, just left us alone so Logan could read a new letter she had from his brother, Chris. She was going to get Clara to give us some privacy. I sat across from Logan and took both of his hands in mine. “One thing at a time,” I reminded him.

  “He can’t be a part of our lives, Libby. He’s toxic. I won’t do anything to jeopardize you or Aria. I’ve already lost too much in my life. I won’t risk losing you too, even if it means not being able to help Clara.” He might have been saying it, but he didn’t believe it. Not for a minute. We wouldn’t be moving into a bigger apartment right this minute if he wasn’t going to take his niece. Hell, we spent almost two hours picking out a mattress for her room this morning. Logan wanted it to be “just right.” When I suggested getting other things for her room he hesitated. If I know Logan it’s because he wanted her to have a room that was just hers. We had no idea what she would like. He played it off like he wanted to wait and see. I wasn’t buying it.

  “I know.” Logan might not have known it yet, but Clara was already one of “his” girls.

  “I mean it, Libby.” He may have looked like a tattooed bad boy, but Logan Wheeler was all heart.

  “Just read the letter, Logan.” He made a sound at the back of his throat. Yeah, I knew what it did to him when I got sassy. I didn’t think I’d ever seen anyone open an envelope with so much force. Poor baby.

  “Logan. I know I’m the last person in the world you want to hear from. I get it. If I were you, I wouldn’t want anything to do with me either.” Logan paused and took a deep breath. “I know I will never have a chance to make things right with you, but it’s not too late for Clara. I can’t give her much, but I can give her you. She deserves a chance. Like the one someone gave you. Please don’t give up on her because of me. I know my promises might not mean anything, but this is the last thing I will ever ask you. She needs you. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you when you needed me.” He put down the letter, unable to finish reading it. Cautiously I took it and continued to read out loud. “I’m proud of you brother and the man you have become. Mom would be proud of you too. Love Clara and your baby the way mom tried to at the end and those will be the luckiest kids alive. Thank you, brother. Chris.”

  The door opened, and Jacqui escorted a small girl into the room. Logan’s back was to her. The room was cheerful and filled with toys and places to sit comfortably, but Clara walked without a word to the back of the room, pulled a book out of a bag she carried, slunk down on the floor, and began to read. Minutes later we were joined by Jacqui. “Mr. Wheeler, your brother has agreed to waive all parental rights as soon as you agree to take custody of Clara. As I already told you, her mother has already waived her rights. She has no other living relatives.”

  Logan stood and turned to look through the glass. He gasped when he saw his niece curled up in the corner reading a book.

  “We’ll take her.”

  “Mr. Wheeler she isn’t a puppy.”

  “I don’t know what else to do.” Logan and I had tried everything. The reason Clara was at the receiving home instead of being placed in foster care wasn’t for lack of trying. She kept running away, back to the receiving home and the last place she ever saw her mom. Oh, and how did he find out? It sure wasn’t because Clara told us. She hadn’t voiced one word since she’d been with us. She could talk. She just chose not to. We’d bought her bookshelves and filled them with books we thought she would like. We’d decorated her room, in purple because it was the most prominent color in her wardrobe, so we’d figured she must like it. We’d taken her to the doctor to have her hearing tested. She’d passed with flying colors. We’d even tracked down her old teacher. She was bright, top of her class, and before her mom ditched her, she was a chatterbox. Everyone kept telling us to just be patient. So, on top of having to go fetch Clara from the receiving home every day we’d also been planning the social event of the season for Hooch.

  “You’re doing everything you can.” I was so glad my sister was back. She came over to catch up and see the new apartment.

  “You’re glowing.” I didn’t mean anything by it other than she looked really happy. Her blush gave her away. “Oh my god, you’re pregnan
t.”

  “You can’t say anything yet,” Emily told me. Holy shit, that was fast. “How do you know?” I was going to be an auntie. Aria and Clara were going to have cousins. See that, I already thought of her as mine.

  “I’m you’re twin sister.”

  “Yeah, I know. Did you really think I didn’t know you were pregnant when you showed up at my door?” I’d give her that. The brat should have just said something. It had killed me not to tell her.

  “You knew?” She’d never told me she knew before I told her.

  “I am your twin sister.” She tossed back at me. Had I mentioned how glad I was my sister was back?

  “Are you sure we should bring her?” It was a big day, and I was worried about Clara. Today was the party for Brie. It wouldn’t have been possible without Kade. As if having a newborn and a ten-year-old wasn’t enough, we had the opening of Hooch too, and the world would be watching. D. Mathair enlisted her agent, Katherine, to help generate hype and build a guest list to rival all guest lists. Katherine still didn’t even know Brie’s true identity. It seemed fitting that it was being revealed in what would have been a secret club in the era it was inspired by.

  “She’s family.” Logan shrugged. I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned it the second it came out of my mouth.

  “I know, I just worry she’ll run off during the event and get lost or worse.” It was my worst fear. It wasn’t safe for her to be out without an adult. If something happened to Clara, I would never forgive myself.

  “She’ll be fine.” I wish I had Logan’s confidence. “One thing at a time,” he reminded me as he tightened his white tie. Damn, I thought Logan was from the wrong century too. He put his hat on his head and winked at me after brushing his fingers across the brim. My man looked hot in a fedora. “Let’s get out of here while we still can.”

  “Do you want to leave your bag here?” I asked Clara knowing full well I wouldn’t get an answer. She looked adorable in her silver beaded dress. She carried that bag with her everywhere. It was where she kept her books. We still couldn’t figure out what she read. Every time we got near, she hid it. We were about to exit the car, and as much as I wished she would leave the bag behind, I knew this was a battle I wouldn’t win. Logan squeezed my hand. “Okay then, let’s go.” The press was lined up on the red carpet. We were here earlier but ventured home to change. This was crazy. Flashes started going off the moment the door opened.

  “Logan, Logan,” the photographers yelled once they saw him. We stopped for some pictures, but Logan lost his patience when the paparazzi start saying stuff about Clara’s dad and asking if Aria was his. Where the hell did they get this stuff? Logan was lucky I didn’t pound one of them. I didn’t care what they reported about Logan or me, but they were messing with the wrong mama bear if they thought they could bring my kids into it. He quickly got us inside.

  “Hey, hey,” he kneeled down to comfort Clara who was crying. “It’s okay little rabbit.” He had called her that since the day she came home with us. She was the spitting image of the photos I’d seen of a young Logan. Maybe that was why I’d instantly fallen in love with her. This was the first time she’d ever really shown us any emotion. This was exactly why I’d thought about leaving her with a babysitter today. She’d almost knocked him on his ass when she’d flown into his arms. We looked at each other in shock as he stood with her still in his arms. Now that was a picture I hoped someone caught. “Let’s go get a Shirley Temple.” A commotion erupted as my sister, her husband, and his parents arrived. The press thought the Hayes family being here was a cherry on top. Little did they know?

  “Please tell me Kade has smelling salts behind the counter.” Katherine would probably prefer mouth to mouth, but she was trying to be professional. Have I mentioned that Katherine was a cougar? Our guests and the press knew they were invited today for an important literary announcement, but that was all the information they had been given. Of course, with Katherine’s biggest client being D. Mathair, speculation was running rampant.

  This was one of the biggest days of my life, and I was more worried about the upset little girl in the arms of my man than I was the food, the drinks, or the guests. Everything that really mattered we held in our arms.

  “Ladies and gentleman thank you for coming today.” Katherine greeted the guests as she stood in front of the closed off drapes. She’d actually hired security to ensure the secret that was hidden behind the curtains wasn’t discovered prematurely. Wait staff passed out small bottles with “drink me” labels tied to them to the crowd. Alcohol was often referred to as “medicine” during Prohibition, so we decided on this instead of traditional champagne, “I’d like to thank Logan and Libby of Hooch for this trip down the rabbit hole,” We couldn’t have asked for a better sound bite. Katherine uncapped her bottle and lifted it to her lips. Everyone followed her lead as she opened a sealed envelope that held the true identity of our guest of honor. “It is my extreme pleasure to introduce you to the one and only D. Mathair, Brianna Bailey.” The room erupted, and the curtains opened showing a display of impressive work both new and old. Brianna stepped forward, and for once her agent was speechless. I couldn’t have planned it any better.

  “Where’s Clara?” I questioned Logan who had just returned from the kitchen.

  “I thought she was with you.” Shit, this was exactly what I was afraid of.

  “I thought she was with you.” It was dark outside, and she had never been to Hooch before. If she tried to go to the receiving home now from here, no good could come of it. I’d never been so terrified in my life. “We have to find her Logan.”

  “We will Libby. We will.” How could he be so sure? “Maybe she’s with Aria and your mom.” We quickly made our way over to the table my family had commandeered.

  “What’s wrong?” My mother asked as soon as she saw our faces.

  “Have you seen Clara?” My voice trembled and tears filled my eyes. If anything happened to her, I would never forgive myself.

  “Oh baby, she’s fine.” My mother pointed over to the display of oversized book covers. My fear caused tears to fill her eyes too. Clara was sitting right next to Brianna with her book, and she was talking. Logan and I made our way through the crowd. It seemed like it took forever to get to them, but I was sure it was only seconds.

  “Clara.” I wrapped my arms around her as I continued to cry. Logan’s strong arms surrounded both of us. “You scared us. Please don’t ever do that to mommy and daddy again.” I’d had never called myself her mother. I didn’t want to pressure her. I didn’t know who was more shocked. I was trying to take it one step at a time. Before today had been nothing but baby steps. Today it seemed we were going for a sprint.

  “You want to be my mommy?” She’d asked when we finally let go of her. I nodded yes. “But you’re not.” She wasn’t trying to be mean or hurtful. She just didn’t understand how someone who wasn’t her mother could be her mommy.

  I wanted to tell her that parenthood required love not DNA and that Logan and I had more of that for her then she could ever need, but she wouldn’t understand. “Do you know where babies come from?” She was a smart girl, and she was ten, so I hoped she knew the basics.

  “A mommy and daddy,” she answered. It wasn’t exactly the answer I was looking for.

  “A man and a woman,” I told her, but she wasn’t getting what I was saying. “Is Logan Aria’s daddy?” I asked. She gave an emphatic nod yes. “Did you know that I didn’t make Aria with Logan?” Obviously, she heard the reporter outside. It wasn’t like Edward was a huge secret. He was just something that we didn’t talk about because as far as any of us were concerned Logan was Aria’s father. She nodded again. “But you still think Logan is Aria’s daddy?” I looked at Logan. It was clear Clara was carefully considering my question before giving her answer. In my mind, I heard that damn Jeopardy music playing.

  “Yes,” she finally replied. Thank god.

  “Why?”

  “Beca
use he loves her.”

  “Just that?” It really was that simple, but I wanted her to really grasp it.

  She thought about it for another minute and even looked at Brianna for reassurance before she told us, “He takes care of her, changes her diaper, and gives her a bath. He even sings to her.” Yes, he did.

  “I think he’d do just about anything for her.”

  “Me too,” She readily agreed. It was so nice to hear her voice, I almost yelled for everyone to shut up, but good manner prevailed. Thank god.

  “And we’d do anything for you too.” I knew Logan would. I would too.

  “And you want to be my daddy too?” She asked Logan. Chris had never been a part of her life, so she had no one to compare him to. For a little girl who hadn’t said a word in months she sure had a lot to say.

  “More than anything.” He was a goner the second he saw her.

  “What about my other mommy?” More than anything I wanted to tell her no true mother could just walk away. She deserved so much better than Gem. It was then that I noticed the book in Brianna’s hand. It was one of her own and very well loved. Shit, I should have invited Brie over to the apartment weeks ago.

  “Do you love just one of Miss Brianna’s books?

  Shock registered on her face as if what I just questioned was absurd. “No way.”

  “Then you can love two mommies too.” She thought about it for a minute before she smiled the biggest smile we had ever seen.

  “OK. Miss Brianna is going to add a little rabbit to Aria’s book.” I guessed our serious conversation was over and it really was that simple.

  “Did that really happen?” We fell into bed, still dazed and confused.