Need

by Sherri Hayes

  She went back inside the ballroom, but glanced at us once before disappearing inside. Lily was here with Logan. This was his big night. She had to stay.

  Stephan placed the wrap over my shoulders and tucked me under his arm. He surprised me by extending a hand to Cal. “Thank you,” he said simply.

  After only a moment’s hesitation, Cal took the hand that was offered. “You’re welcome.”

  Stephan gave Cal a final nod and guided us toward the elevators. The relief I felt to be going home was almost more overwhelming than those few minutes with Karl. All I wanted to do was curl up in Stephan’s lap. It was where I felt most safe.

  There wasn’t a lot of activity by the elevators, but there were a few other couples waiting with us.

  The elevator dinged, but before the doors opened, I heard someone call Stephan’s name. He turned us toward the sound.

  The person I saw sent me into a panic faster than I had remembered possible.

  I felt Stephan hold me tighter. The man was close enough to touch me! My mind screamed, Yellow! But I couldn’t form the words.

  “Stephan, I’m so glad I caught you.”

  Then it wasn’t yellow anymore. It was red. They knew each other!

  “Hello, Daren.”

  Stephan

  Brianna’s leaving my side with Lily, even for a few minutes, increased my anxiety. I knew now that both Daren and Karl were here. Although I didn’t think either would cause her harm, I was still hoping she did not see them without me by her side.

  Logan found me briefly before he was shepherded away, and I was once again left to my own devices. I spent the time scanning the room.

  Daren had been easy to find. He and Gina were standing five tables away talking to another couple. There was no sign of Karl. If he was sitting down, however, I wouldn’t have seen him. Too many people were up milling about now that the music was starting.

  I glanced down at my watch. They had been gone for ten minutes. It wasn’t long, but for some reason, my worry increased. I positioned myself so that I was constantly watching the entrance they would most likely use.

  My back straightened as I saw Lily. I looked behind her for Brianna, but she wasn’t there. Then I caught the look on Lily’s face. Standing, I quickly closed the gap between us.

  “Lily, what is it? Where’s Brianna?” I demanded.

  “She’s . . . Stephan, you have to come. Karl . . .” It was all I let her say before I pushed her aside and almost ran out of the ballroom and into the lobby.

  As soon as I arrived in the smaller room, I saw there had been a commotion. Everyone was trying to act normal, but I noticed their eyes continued to glance over to a short hallway to my right. Turning to look in that direction, I saw two figures obscured by a large plant. Only the end of Brianna’s dress confirmed she was behind the greenery. I wasted no more time crossing the space separating us.

  What I hadn’t expected to find on the other side of the overshadowing foliage was Cal Ross. The man had been a thorn in my side ever since he’d taken over Ross Builders from his father over a year ago. I leveled a not-so-friendly look at him before turning to Brianna. Her hair had come down a little and there was a large, red mark on her neck. I knelt down next to her.

  Hearing the raspy sound of her voice as she confirmed Karl had done this to her made me cringe. Two members of the hotel’s security decided to pick that moment to check on things. They asked if I wanted the police called, but I declined. The last thing we needed were the police involved. I assured them that since Karl was my employee, I’d make sure the situation was handled. Thankfully, they accepted this, used to dealing with matters of discretion, and left us.

  I pulled her to me and placed several kisses on the top of her head before turning slightly to face Cal. He was watching me closely. I didn’t care.

  As much as I didn’t like Cal Ross, I knew that he must have been the one to come to Brianna’s rescue. She wasn’t acting scared of him, which she would have been if he’d just harmed her. He was acting extremely protective of her. That, I had to admit, I didn’t like very much. Offering my thanks to him for coming to Brianna’s aid, I bit my tongue at his curt reply and only nodded. Cal Ross was the least of my worries right now.

  I stood and helped her up. My eyes roamed every inch of her. There were red marks on her arms, but they weren’t bad. The main thing was her neck. It was worse than I’d originally thought. Not only was it red where Karl’s hand had been, but there was a deeper, angrier red mark where he’d obviously pushed her collar into her flesh. I took my index finger and traced the line it had left and felt the anger boiling inside me. Karl would pay.

  Lily was standing just behind me, and I asked her to retrieve Brianna’s wrap from our seats. She’d been through more than enough tonight. I was taking her home.

  Suddenly, Cal’s hand gripped Brianna’s wrist. He addressed her only. “You live with him, Anna?”

  Anna?

  A cold feeling ran down my spine. My arms tightened their hold on Brianna. She was mine. Mine until she told me she no longer wanted me. He would not have her.

  I only half-heard her answer him as Lily came back with the wrap. All I wanted to do was get us out of there.

  As I took the wrap from her hands, Lily told Brianna she’d call her tomorrow. As Lily walked away, my eyes stayed on Ross. No matter my feelings, he’d been there for Brianna tonight when I had not. He’d protected her. I placed the wrap around Brianna’s shoulders and pulled her against my side. Extending my free hand, I offered it to Cal, thanking him again. This time, he reluctantly took my offering.

  I moved us to the elevator. The business part of the evening was over and some other couples were leaving as well. Two stood with us waiting for the elevator to reach our floor.

  When the light came on above the metal doors, I began to relax. Then someone called my name. Although I wanted to ignore it, I knew it would be impolite to do so. I turned us both around, and saw Daren walk toward us.

  Brianna reacted. It was what I’d feared. We had not discussed Daren, or what had happened at the party where he’d seen her. I had no idea what, if anything, had happened between them. It was that unknown that had me wanting to keep them apart tonight. Unfortunately, short of me throwing Brianna over my shoulder and running down the stairs, we were going to have to face whatever demons were lurking there.

  My arm tightened around her.

  “Stephan, I’m so glad I caught you,” Daren said as he came to a stop in front of us.

  “Hello, Daren.” I could feel Brianna’s panic rising, and I wanted to get her out of there as quickly as possible.

  My old friend smiled at me. “I’m glad to see you here.” He turned to Brianna and his face fell.

  I have no idea what happened concerning him after that. Brianna had all my attention. Her breathing was heavy and unsteady. I could feel her body trembling under my hands. “I’m sorry, Daren, but we’ll have to do this another time.”

  Without waiting for his response, I lifted Brianna off her feet and moved us the few yards it took to reach the stairwell. It was the quickest exit, and the one with the least amount of people.

  I set Brianna’s feet back on the ground once the door had closed firmly behind us. She fell back against the wall, unable to support her own weight. I grasped her arms to steady her, but that was the least of my concerns. “What number, Brianna?”

  She didn’t answer.

  Sure she wasn’t going to fall, I let go of her arms and brought my hands up to her face, forcing her to look at me. “Number.”

  Still nothing.

  Then I noticed that her lips had started to move. No sound was coming out, but I finally realized that she was trying to say ‘red.’ My heart broke for her. I knew that her seeing Daren would not be good, but I had hoped her reaction wouldn’t be this bad.

  With steady resolve, I took her into my arms and began whispering to her. Letting her know that she was safe. That he was gone. No one would h
urt her. This was the first time she’d reached this level of panic since she’d been in my care, and so it took an unusually long amount of time to calm her. Finally, she began to settle down. Her breathing returned to normal and she was no longer trembling.

  “He won’t hurt you, Brianna. I promise.”

  She made no response other than to take hold of my jacket, pulling me closer. I held her for a few more minutes before telling her we were going to walk down the stairs. Still there was silence, but she stayed glued to my side as we walked slowly down the four flights it took to reach the lobby.

  The main entrance to the hotel held a lot more people than the lobby area we’d just come from, and I felt her draw even closer, if that were possible. I tightened my grip on her waist and kissed the top of her head before crossing the short distance to the valet. Thankfully, the hotel had staffed extra valets for the evening so we didn’t have to wait long for our car.

  I felt a movement from Brianna, subtle though it was, and glanced down at her as I helped her into the passenger side of my car. She wasn’t going into a panic attack as she had been upstairs, but she wasn’t relaxed either. The look on her face was almost . . . blank.

  The young man who’d brought our car came up to ask if something was wrong since I hadn’t moved from my position. I quickly assured him that everything was fine and went to get into the car myself.

  Brianna was quiet the entire ride home. She’d barely moved aside from blinking. Her lack of reaction was bothering me. I would rather have had her hysterical than as she was now.

  I parked my car and walked around to help her from the vehicle. She took my offered hand almost as if she were a robot following programming. I held her close to my side and prayed that once we were in a familiar space she would come out of it.

  Unfortunately, nothing changed once we walked through my door. If anything, she seemed to become more distant.

  Taking her hand, I led her into her bedroom. A small light flickered in her eyes, but was just as quickly gone again.

  I led her over beside her bed, and then went to get her something to change into. Reluctantly, I handed the clothes to her. Normally, I would have had no qualms about undressing her; however, given all of her trauma tonight, I felt it was best not to test her limits.

  I lifted her chin with my index finger. Her eyes followed until they were looking into mine. Blank. Where had my Brianna gone?

  “Go change and get ready for bed,” I said, nodding toward her bathroom. “I’ll wait here.” As soon as I let go of her chin, she slowly walked toward the bathroom and disappeared behind the door.

  No longer able to see her, I pulled out my phone and dialed my assistant, Jamie. I tried not to disturb her on weekends, but it couldn’t be helped. She answered on the fourth ring and efficiently took down my instructions. Monday could not come soon enough.

  Brianna

  Numb. That was the only way to describe how I was feeling as I removed the purple gown from my body. I stood in front of the full-length mirror, but it almost felt like I wasn’t even there.

  Habit was what drove me as I put on my nightclothes, washed my face, and brushed my teeth. There was no feeling as I scrubbed the make-up from my face or spread the mint toothpaste along my teeth and gums. They were just things. Actions. Nothing had meaning beyond doing what I had been told to do.

  I walked slowly back into the room and came to a stop directly in front of . . . him. Him. Who was he? I thought I knew but . . .

  It was just better not to think.

  He turned down the covers and told me to lie down. I obeyed.

  I stared up at the ceiling. There were tiny patterns. I’d never noticed before.

  He sat down beside me on the bed. His fingertips brushed the side of my face. I heard him speaking to me, but nothing registered. Nothing made sense.

  The bed shifted and then I felt arms come around me. He had joined me in the bed. I knew I should be concerned. Should do something. Say something. But I couldn’t.

  He didn’t try to talk to me again. The only noise in the room besides our breathing was the slight sound his lips made as they brushed against my hair. It was meant to be comforting. I knew that. Somehow, I knew that. I just felt . . . nothing.

  At some point, I must have fallen asleep, but I couldn’t remember the falling. The morning sunlight filtered in through the single window of my room. He was no longer there beside me. I listened closely, and could hear movement in the other room.

  Where last night I had felt nothing, today I felt everything. I replayed Karl’s attack and reached up to feel my collar still in place.

  My collar. Cal.

  And . . . Daren?

  Stephan’s . . . friend?

  Before I could halt them, the tears were running down my face, and I couldn’t get them to stop. He knew him!

  A sense of betrayal ran through me. Lies. Lies!

  Just then, Stephan walked through the door. His eyes were watching me closely. Apparently waiting, but for what I had no idea.

  I sat up and told myself to stop crying. It didn’t work. If anything, the tears came quicker and with more force.

  He crossed the room, sat down on the bed, and reached out for me. I pulled away, huddling in the far corner of my bed. He looked hurt, and I felt a pain in my chest.

  There was no sound, but my crying. He was watching me. I knew he wanted to touch me, but he didn’t try again. We sat for a long time just watching each other. There were times when he looked like he wanted to cry, too. I was so confused.

  Finally, he broke the silence. “Brianna, I want to tell you something. Will you listen?”

  There was no need to think about it. I nodded.

  “It appears we have a lot to talk about, but first I think I need to explain something—or should I say—someone.” He paused as if he was gauging my reaction, but I didn’t respond at all. “Do you remember my telling you that a friend had told me about you? That he’d seen you at a party? It was Daren. The one you saw last night. He is the one who told me about you being with Ian. If not for him, I would never have known you were there most likely against your will.”

  “Daren?” I said slowly. “He . . . told you about me?” They were the first words I’d spoken since last night.

  “Yes.” He shifted a little closer. “I have no idea what happened at that party, Brianna.”

  “He beat me,” I whispered.

  He paused. “Explain.”

  And I did. As memories of my time with Ian went, this was one of the least traumatic. At the time, I had no idea of the man’s name. If he had spoken it, I had not heard.

  Ian had bound me in ropes and suspended me from two hooks in the ceiling. I remembered him talking to the man as he was working and the man, Daren, telling him that Gina had not been able to come.

  My old Master told the man that it had taken a lot of work to train me. That I had been a stubborn one, but now that I was trained, he wanted to show me off.

  With every word, I was reliving that night. Stephan just sat, listening as I spoke through my tears.

  “Ian offered to let Daren . . .” I choked. I couldn’t finish what I’d been about to say.

  “He offered to let Daren play with you,” he said matter-of-factly.

  I shook my head so hard that it started to hurt. “He took a stick and beat me!” I screamed.

  Stephan closed his eyes. “A cane.”

  “You know what it was?”

  His eyes opened again. He was regarding me as if I was about to bolt, which given the circumstances, was entirely possible. “Of course I do. I’m a Dominant. Canes are very common.”

  “Common!” I screamed.

  “Yes,” he said in a voice that was so calm it made me want to pull my hair out.

  “Would you use it on me?”

  He knew what I was asking. “Yes, if you would let me.”

  “Let . . . let . . . I couldn’t . . .”

  At that moment, my legs decided to work
. I threw the covers from my body and ran for the door.

  I only made it as far as the living room before his arms came around my waist, halting my progress. What had been a surge of energy only a moment ago died in my limbs, and the tears once again began to flow as I went limp.

  Stephan bent down, scooping me up into his arms. He carried me over to the couch but kept me on his lap, all the while, whispering calming words in my ear.

  Eventually, the tears ebbed and I stiffened. “Please,” I begged.

  He rubbed the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs and held them there. He looked into my eyes with so much emotion that I could not doubt his next words. “Brianna, I’ve told you repeatedly that I will not hurt you. I would never do anything to you that you told me you were not okay with. You were in a situation where things were done to you against your will, without you having a say one way or the other. That would not happen with us.

  Communication is so important. I need to know what you feel, how you feel, and why. You will have fears,” he said. “Especially given your past. But we can work through them.” He brushed my hair back behind my ear and stopped talking as he let everything sink in.

  I wanted to believe him. Oh, how I wanted to believe him. The tears returned.

  “Shh,” he whispered as he kissed the tears away this time. “Shh, love. I need you to trust me. Trust me enough to know that I will respect your limits.” He pulled back enough to look into my eyes. “I told you I would push you, and I will. But, Brianna, I never want you to fear me or what I do to you.”

  I could tell he meant what he said, but I still felt afraid. “I don’t . . . want to be afraid.”

  He smiled. “You have a lot to learn. Some things may be scary, but that will be because you do not understand them. What I want from you . . . to become my submissive . . . it’s a learning process. For both of us.”

  I thought about what he had said. Ian had never talked to me as Stephan had. He’d never explained anything to me other than that I was now his, and that he could do whatever he pleased to me.

  So many feelings were warring inside me. I still didn’t want to leave. No matter how scared I was, that hadn’t changed.