Texas Heat

by Holly Castillo

  It wasn’t until she saw Trevor’s big bay stallion that she allowed herself a short breath, and then a long sigh when she saw he was okay. She raced her horse towards him, eager to know that he wasn’t harmed.

  He was dismounting as she reached him and she slid from her horse while it was in mid-stride and threw herself at him, holding him tightly. He held her just as tightly in return, his hands smoothing down her untamed hair, his face buried in her neck.

  Then he pulled back and held her by the shoulders, giving her a slight shake. “Won’t you ever listen to orders? You shouldn’t have been in this battle.”

  “Why not? Didn’t you agree that I was a member of this militia?”

  “I agreed that you were an aide to the militia. That’s a very different thing.”

  “Trevor... just let me fight alongside you. It’s where I belong.” It was as close to saying “I love you” without saying the true words.

  One of the militia soldiers suddenly caught Trevor’s attention and he slowly released his hold on her. “This conversation isn’t over,” he said sternly, then kissed her hard and swift before following the soldier.

  Without Trevor to distract her, she finally noticed all of the bodies scattered about the field, most of them Indian. That was when a dark thought entered her mind, a thought she didn’t want to have but, in her gut, she knew something was wrong.

  She turned to where Trevor stood several hundred feet away, staring down at the body... of an Indian. Oh, dear God, no! It can’t be. No! Serena began to run towards where Trevor stood, and he glanced up at her motion then suddenly seemed to realize she was running towards him.

  “Serena, stop. Don’t come any closer!” Cade yelled at her, racing forward to stop her far before she could see anything.

  She fought against his grip on her shoulders. “Please tell me it isn’t him! Please, for the love of God, tell me that isn’t Stalking Wolf.”

  Cade seemed at a loss for words, Trevor noted as he ran over to where the two stood. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This never should have happened.

  Trevor pulled Cade away but had to move fast and captured Serena around the waist before she could race over to the gruesome scene. “Serena, Stalking Wolf was an incredibly brave warrior. He fought valiantly all the way to the end.”

  “So he’s alive? If he made it to the end, then... then...” Her voice was thick with unshed tears and trembled with fear, and there was nothing more he could do for her than try to comfort her.

  He felt completely helpless. “No, Serena. He... he has gone to live with his people’s spirits.”

  “No!” She slammed her fists on his chest. “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you!”

  “Serena, you’ve had a very stressful day. Cade will take you back to the main group and you can help then find a secure campground. Then you will need some rest.”

  “No, damn you! I want to see him! I want to see him with my own eyes!”

  He gripped her shoulders tightly. “No, Serena. You don’t want to remember him like this. You don’t want to—”

  Before he could finish his words, she had dropped down and slid between his legs, nimbly moving to get around him and raced to where Lorenzo and a couple of the other militia stood, shaking their heads.

  “Son of a bitch!” Trevor cursed under his breath and chased after her, but made it to her too late.

  “Oh, my God. Oh, no, no, no... This isn’t... no, no!”

  Lorenzo spun around at the sound of Serena’s voice and tried to block her view, but it was too late. Serena dropped to her knees next to the body, tears leaving streak marks on her dust covered face. She grabbed Stalking Wolf’s lifeless hand in hers and held it tightly, pressing her forehead against the back of his hand as sobs began to shake her body.

  Trevor nodded to Lorenzo and the ranger, and both left so Serena could grieve in peace. Trevor kept his distance, knowing she had to get it out of her aching heart, and there would always be a permanent scar there, a scar he had never wanted her to have.

  Trevor tried to give her as much time as possible, but they were vulnerable to another attack, and the sun was slowly beginning to dip below the skyline. The sound of her raw voice surprised him.

  “This was his favorite time of day. He said it was when the sun kissed the earth with the most vibrant colors. Purple, orange, pink—all of the colors that make you feel joy and peace at the same time.” She glanced back at Trevor.

  The tears hadn’t stopped, but she was no longer sobbing.

  “He saw the beauty in everything around him. He hated killing, but his shots were always true. I don’t think I ever saw him miss a target.” Her eyes lifted to Trevor’s slowly. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you? Grieving like this over a dead Comanche.”

  Trevor shook his head. “I just wish you had listened to me and you wouldn’t have seen... you wouldn’t have seen this.”

  Serena’s face drained of all color. “You told him to get me to safety. And I refused. If only I had followed your orders... Oh, God, it’s my fault!”

  Trevor grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, wrapping his hands tightly around her waist. “Don’t start thinking like that,” he said. “Just don’t!” He pulled back and looked her in the eyes. “This wasn’t your fault! He could have been killed the minute he left you in a safe place. Worse yet, the two of you could have been ambushed and both of you would have been killed!”

  She buried her face against his neck and the heat of her tears touched his skin. “I should have listened. I should have listened. And they gave him the most vicious of all disgraces one can do to another Comanche. How could they scalp him? He was one of their brothers!”

  “A brother that had turned against the family,” Trevor said softly.

  He didn’t want her to know the rest of the things they had done to his body. They had cut off his genitals and had also cut his intestines out. Fortunately, they were able to cover all of him before she had reached the body, even though she had raced up unexpectedly.

  Serena turned back to the body, as if she had expected it to change somehow, for it to no longer be Stalking wolf.

  She drew a deep, shaky breath. “You’ll give him a proper burial? Please don’t just dump his body in a pit after you’ve cleaned up the rest of the dead Indians around.”

  “I’ll make sure his body is treated with the utmost respect. Cade, Lorenzo and I will see to it personally.”

  She nodded and pressed her eyes closed for several long moments. She was far too pale, in his opinion, and he felt like an insensitive thug. Why had he let her see him? He could have tried harder, done more to keep her from seeing the man she considered her brother scalped and stabbed multiple times.

  The Comanche were sending a message with Stalking Wolf’s death. They would stop at nothing until they had destroyed the white man’s faith, hope, and, eventually, would take their lives. And they would do so in the most excruciating way possible.

  Trevor reached for Serena’s hair to hook it behind her ear when he saw it was covered in blood. He clenched his hand into a fist and pulled away. It had been a brutal fight, and he had lost a handful of men, but hadn’t expected the pain at seeing them fall. He was their new leader, and he had become close to very few. But they were his men, his rangers, and they fought valiantly.

  He focused his attention back on Serena and she was staring blankly at her close friend’s desecrated body. “Serena,” he said, trying to get her attention. “Serena?” Still, she didn’t respond. Worried, he reached out and touched her arm. “Serena?”

  She jumped violently at his touch, and then her eyes slowly came into focus. “I’m sorry. I just...”

  “Let’s get you to bed. You’re past the point of exhaustion.”

  Serena nodded numbly and turned to head up the small incline to where their camp had been made, but her knees buckled on her. He caught her quickly and swung her up into his arms.

  “Everything will work out in the end,
pixie. Everything.”

  The next few days seemed to pass by in a haze. The only time Serena had really spoken was when Lorenzo, Cade, and Trevor tried to insist she go home. She remembered the shocked look on their faces as she had firmly said “no,” and told each one of them they could go to hell if they tried to take her. The subject had not been broached again.

  Each day felt like a repeat of the last. Trevor had returned to his place with her on the ground, giving her security and comfort each night. She couldn’t even remember what they had fought about in the first place that had caused him to leave her side.

  It seemed she could remember very little of the past several days except the day of the Comanche fight. It had taken her nearly an hour to get the arrow out of her saddle, and Lorenzo had tried to offer to do it for her, but she shook her head stubbornly. “No. But thank you. This is something I need to do on my own.”

  He nodded in understanding, but had sat with her in silence as she had worked on it. They all seemed to want to just offer her their quiet strength to help her get through the mourning period. She was extremely grateful, but she couldn’t thank them. Not yet. Just the thought of talking about it made her throat tighten with tears.

  It had been four days since the battle before Serena was beginning to feel as if the fog was lifting. She became aware of their surroundings, and realized there were very few trees around them anymore and they were in an area with waving grass, which moved in reaction to the strong winds, and large clusters of shrubs. In some areas they went through, there were entire groves of pecan trees, where they would rest and enjoy the delicious food nature provided them.

  It was as they were taking one of these breaks that Serena turned to Trevor, who sat not far from her. “Do we have time for a walk?” she asked softly, not wanting any of the men around them to hear her.

  His face remained passive, as if he wasn’t surprised by her request. He nodded, brushing broken pecan shells from his lap and then standing. She waited for him until he was by her side and she casually looped her arm through his. They started walking further into the pecan grove, away from the men, and, as was to be expected, men from the militia shouted out profane suggestions of what they needed to do. Serena’s cheeks were flaming hot, so she knew he could see her blush.

  He confirmed it when he started talking. “Don’t worry about them. They’re just being... well, they’re just being...”

  “Men.” Serena finished for him.

  He looked down at her with a slight quirk to his mouth. “That wasn’t going to be my choice of words, but if that works for you...” He shrugged.

  Serena struggled to find the right words to say next. “Trevor, I-I don’t know how to begin. I know I haven’t been very engaged the last few days, and I’m sorry for that. You allowed me to come along because I offered to be an extra hand, not a liability. The loss of Stalking Wolf...”

  Trevor squeezed her hand on his arm as he looked down at her. “No apology is needed. We’ve all lost someone close and had to find a way to work through it.”

  Serena stopped and faced him. “No, I need to apologize. To you and everyone else. I’m sure your men are thrilled to see me grieving the death of a Comanche.”

  “Some of them had their misgivings, but that’s something they’ve got to work through. You have nothing to prove. You were so fast out there that day... I’d only seen a few people ride and fire their weapon so well.”

  “Stalking Wolf taught me. He taught me to do it while riding bareback, so doing it in a saddle makes it much easier.” Her mouth twitched with a smile.

  Trevor watched her closely and slowly he raised his hand, his fingers lightly tracing her lips. “I’ve wanted to see a smile on your face for days now. I’m so sorry you lost him, Serena. It never should have happened.”

  “There was nothing that could have been done. But he died a warrior’s death, which is what he would have wanted.”

  Serena closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them, she could feel the tears threatening to spill out. “Thank you, Trevor. Thank you for supporting me and being with me through all of this. You’ve been my rock that I know I can lean on.”

  He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her. “I will be your rock anytime you need it, pixie. I just want to see your smiles again. And soon, hear your laughter.”

  Serena stood on her tiptoes and pulled his head down, pressing her lips against his. “I love—” She stopped herself suddenly, realizing she was about to profess her love to him. “I love all that you’ve done for me. You are an incredible man.”

  Trevor shook his head. “You are an amazing woman. And I’m glad you are feeling better.” He smiled down at her and brushed her hair away from her face. “Are you sure you want to keep going? What we encountered a few days ago was a mild skirmish. What we have ahead of us could be far, far worse. I’d be able to do my job much better if I wasn’t worried about where you are every minute of the day.”

  “I’m not going home. Not now. And I can take care of myself. You don’t have to worry about me.”

  “Oh, I have no doubt that you can take care of yourself. I’ve witnessed your skills. But if the Indians ahead really are eight hundred or more strong as we’ve heard rumors, our small group will be horribly outnumbered. Even the most talented will not survive those odds.”

  “Then why are you continuing towards them? If you are so certain of failure...” She shook her head at him, not understanding.

  He pulled his hat off and ran his hand through his dark hair then replaced the hat. “I have hopes that we will come across reinforcements in the next day or so. But it isn’t a guarantee, and having you stay here with that tentative hope just isn’t right.”

  “So, if you don’t come upon reinforcements you plan to turn around?”

  “Serena, you are making this far more difficult than it has to be. You aren’t part of the militia. You aren’t one of my rangers. This isn’t your battle to fight.”

  Serena looked down at the ground for several long seconds.

  When she lifted her face, she knew her anger was obvious. “Do you remember telling me I knew nothing about war?”

  “Yes. And it was a subject we never finished discussing.”

  “Probably because you didn’t want to hear the truth. I told you at that time that I know far more about war than I’ve ever wanted to know, but you’ve forgotten that answer, haven’t you?”

  “What, exactly, do you know about war? You’ve been sheltered by your sisters your entire life.”

  Serena was so furious she nearly slapped him. “I was thirteen when the Texians took the Alamo. My sisters tried to protect me from knowing or seeing much. I was already quite talented at creating various outfits that I wore to disguise myself as a young man. No one even paid attention that I was there. I was just another errand boy to run ammunition back and forth for the Texians.”

  “You did what?”

  “I witnessed the death and carnage of so many men. Most all of them were Mexicans, but still, it was the loss of a life—and they were so young. Some of them even my age. Someone’s mother would get the word that her son—her child—had been killed in battle. I only got a brief look, because Angie and Olivia were out there also, trying to help with the battle.”

  Serena became very quiet, then, looking away from him and out into the distance. “And then there was the battle with Santa Anna. You think our odds are bad now? Imagine the odds the men inside the Alamo faced. And Santa Anna was ruthless. Our men killed hundreds of Mexican soldiers. But I watched wave after wave of soldiers pouring into the Alamo, and I knew we’d lost. What was worse was that we thought Lorenzo was in there. It was absolutely horrific. And then there were the fires.” She shook her head, still looking off at something only she could see in her mind’s eye.

  “They wouldn’t give the men a proper burial,” she finally said after a long stretch of silence. “Instead they built these great pyres where they burned the bodies. T
he smell was one you couldn’t escape from, no matter how hard you tried. And believe me... I tried.”

  “Serena, I didn’t mean—”

  “I know you didn’t say it on purpose. I know the reason you said it. But you presumed that you knew me, and you don’t know everything about me.” Serena took a step back from him. “This is just as much my battle as anyone else’s. I want to see the killing come to an end. But I still hold out hope that we can prevent a full war and somehow come to peaceful negotiations. I’m not a fool, though. I know the Indians we follow are looking for blood, not peace.”

  There was the sound of a twig snap nearby and both Trevor and Serena drew their guns and had them cocked instantly. One of Trevor’s rangers stepped forward, holding his hand out so they would see he was unarmed.

  Serena glanced over at Trevor and gave him a half smile as they both returned their guns to the holsters at their hips. He returned her smile, then looked back at his ranger. The man looked at both of them, then hooked his thumbs at the corners of his pants. His expression had never changed, from the moment they had drawn their guns on him till then, he had remained completely passive.

  Serena wondered how they did that. She wondered how they had learned to school their features so perfectly for whatever occasion demanded it.

  “Sir, we may have a lead on the subject we’ve discussed.”

  His message couldn’t have been more cryptic.

  “I can tell when I am no longer invited to the conversation,” Serena said and turned and headed back to camp.

  She still needed to thank Lorenzo and Cade.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Serena had tossed and turned for hours on the cot, waiting for Trevor to come in so that she could slip into his arms. As soon as she had walked away from him earlier in the day, he had called a meeting with his rangers. An hour later, the men broke apart and scattered in different directions, and Trevor took the lead and had the militia back on the path of the Comanche quickly.

  Serena had ridden beside him, but had said little, leaving him the opportunity to elaborate on what was happening, but he never did. He was tense about something, and she wished she could help him in some way. But if he wanted to cut her out of the things going on in his life, it gave her all the more reason to be reserved with him.