Moments Lost and Found

by Olivia Jake

  “All I could think was that if I got some distance from you I could handle things. I thought that if I explained everything that it would be a discussion. And I didn’t want to discuss it. I’ve told you before, I’m not used to explaining myself to anyone. All I wanted was to put a stop to it. I didn’t want the past and that story being a part of us.” He looked at her and took her hands, “Cheri, do not take this the wrong way, but I wanted to just put you over here,” he motioned with his hands like a box, “while I dealt with it.”

  “Laurent, you can’t just put me over to the side when something messy comes up. There’s no pause button for me.”

  “Yes, Samantha. I realized that when you walked out the door this morning.” He said with resignation. “Trust me, if there were a, uh, pause button as you say, this morning never would have happened.”

  “But you can’t control everything.” Sam pleaded.

  He actually smiled and said, “Hmmm, isn’t that quaint coming from you?” Sam chuckled and realized he was right. “Well, it looks as though we have a bit of a conundrum, non?” Sam furrowed her brow as he explained, “Two control freaks in love, eh?” he took her hands and brought them to his mouth, kissing both palms and then turning her hands over, he kissed each finger tip.

  As loving as this felt, Sam couldn’t forget what had just happened, “It didn’t feel like love this morning.” He lowered her hands into his lap, but he didn’t let go of them.

  “No, Samantha, it did not. I’m sorry for how I acted. And I am so sorry for what happened to you this morning,” he lifted her hands again to his mouth, but then squeezed them, “But merde, Samantha, if you would have just listened to me. None of that would have happened if you would have just trusted me.”

  “Laurent, I do trust you. But I can’t if you pull away and don’t tell me what’s going on. If I had known why you didn’t want me leaving, maybe I wouldn’t have.”

  He raised his eyebrows, challenging her. “Really, Samantha?”

  “Ok, probably not.” Sam conceded. “But now that I do, trust me, I don’t want to ever experience that again.”

  “Did they hurt you?” his voice quieter than before, as if by asking softly, he could influence the answer.

  “I’m ok. I’ll be a little sore tomorrow, there are some scratches, but no, I’m not hurt.” She paused and then said, “I was more hurt by you.” that landed hard. “You know, Laurent, last night was the first night since we’ve been together that we haven’t, um, been together.” She paused again and then continued, “Being in that crowd of men this morning was terrifying. It all happened so quickly I had no idea what was going on. But it’s something tangible that I can physically and mentally prepare for next time. I’m a little banged up but it doesn’t hurt me inside. I can figure out how to deal with it, do you know what I mean?” he nodded.

  “But you…” she exhaled and looked down, pulling her hands to herself. “I felt helpless in that crowd of men, but I could try to fight back and kick and scream.” She could see the pain on his face when she said that, “but the helplessness I felt last night and this morning with you… I couldn’t even fight back. There was nothing to fight against. You just, emotionally, walked away.”

  They sat in silence for a moment and then Sam continued, “You know, I’m not used to explaining myself to anyone either, Laurent.”

  He nodded, “I am starting to realize that, Samantha.” He smiled. He looked exhausted.

  “You didn’t sleep at all last night, did you?” she asked and he shook his head no. “Come on, let’s go take a nap. We need to discuss what our plan of attack is from here on out but we’re not going to do that well if we’re both exhausted.” He looked at her questioningly, and she answered his unasked question. “Yes, Laurent, we’re figuring this out together. But first, we sleep, and then you make love to me, and then we go tell those mother-fuckers what will happen if they ever touch me or you again.” He couldn’t help but smile.

  “Samantha Davis, who knew a controlling woman could be so god damned sexy?” He pulled her into a kiss. Sam knew that small attempt at levity was either a good sign that they weren’t going to wallow in what happened, and that they were getting back to normal, or Laurent’s attempt at burying his feelings. She knew she wasn’t going to find the answer right then as they walked hand in hand into the bedroom.

  Laurent turned her towards him and undressed her slowly, carefully. It was clear that he was so afraid of hurting her, he touched her like she was going to break. She let him take all her clothes off, and once she was naked, she undressed him. It was their silent way of telling each other that they could each take care of the other, provided of course that they both let themselves be cared for. Laurent held Sam’s hand as they walked the few steps to the bed, pulled back the covers and let her get in first. He cuddled up behind her, pulling her body tight to his, holding her against him as reassurance that she was there with him, safe. As emotionally charged as the last couple of hours were, it didn’t take long for Sam to hear Laurent’s breathing turn into that rhythmic cadence that was a sure sign he was asleep. But even in sleep, he held her tight. It took Sam a while to nod off. A few times as she was drifting, she was jolted awake by Laurent’s arm jerking, pulling her tighter to him. He wasn’t typically a fitful sleeper, and she knew that this whole situation had taken its toll on him. Eventually, Laurent stopped jerking and Sam forced herself to stop thinking about everything that had just happened and finally, she drifted off, joining Laurent in slumber.

  CHAPTER 3

  Sam was awoken by Laurent’s erection pressing into her back and his hand rubbing up and down her body while he kissed her shoulder.

  “Mmmmm. Now this is how a girl likes to be woken up.” Sam purred.

  “Is that right, Cheri?” he mumbled against her as he continued to kiss and rub and grind against her.

  “Mmmhmm.” She could feel his lips turn to a small smile. He slowly turned her over and then got on top of her, using his knees to push her legs apart so he could slide right in.

  “Ahhhh.” Sam gasped as Laurent pushed himself all the way in. He started moving slowly at first, staring at her like he was trying to memorize her face. He didn’t take his eyes off of her as he started to quicken the pace. He had her knees behind his elbows but that wasn’t enough. He had to get deeper in her. He moved her legs so her ankles were now around his neck and kept pumping her. He was still staring into her eyes but she could tell that something had changed in his expression. He was looking at her but he was gone, he was somewhere else. It was like he was trying to fuck away what had happened last night and this morning. Like if he just fucked her harder and harder he could push it all out and erase it all.

  They’d had rough sex before but this was something different. Laurent was pounding his cock into her like he was possessed. Laurent had always been a very, very generous lover. No matter what they did, he always made it about Sam’s pleasure, and seeing Sam pleased turned him on. But this, this was different. It wasn’t about her, or even about them at all. It wasn’t even about him. He was fucking her like he had to get it out of his system. At some point, Sam realized this, and realized he needed this, needed to both control the situation and lose control. For the first time ever, he came before she did. His orgasm was violent, like he was exorcising a demon as he came. He screamed a low, violent guttural yell that Sam had never heard before and then his eyes cleared and he came back into reality.

  As he shuddered at the end he realized what had happened, “Oh Samantha, fuck… I, merde…” was all he could manage as he collapsed on top of her. She knew that he needed this. “Cheri, merde, I’m sorry, you didn’t…”

  “Shhhh, relax.” She whispered as she stroked his hair. She wiped his sweat-filled brow as he rolled off of her.

  “I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t even there. Here. Samantha, I…”

  “Laurent, stop. You needed that. You needed to get that out of your system. I get it.”

&n
bsp; “You do?”

  “Yes, sweetheart, I do. Now just relax. There’s enough to worry about. This is not one of those things.” She could see that he was already starting to retreat into his mind. She wasn’t sure if it was about the sex or everything else.

  But he came back, “Thank you.” he turned and looked at her.

  She chuckled, “You mean for…” and she gestured to the bed.

  “No, Samantha, not for that,” he said seriously, “for being here. For trying to understand me, even when I don’t make it easy.” He cocked his head to the side, almost shrugging, “I know I don’t always make it easy.”

  “Easy is overrated, Laurent.”

  “Controlling, smart and a woman after my own heart.” He started rubbing her body again. She could see he was coming back. His expression relaxed, the demon was gone. They stayed like that for a while, lying together just rubbing each other, relaxing. Until Laurent started making the rubbing more sensual. Finally, he spoke, “Now, Samantha, do you have any idea how many different ways I imagined punishing you this morning when you were out running?” Thank God, flirty Frenchman was back.

  “Over an hour for me to wonder what I was going to do to you for disobeying my wishes. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You know, I am a very creative man and leaving me to my imagination for that long,” he shook his head as a devilish grin came across his face, “that’s very, very dangerous, Samantha.”

  “Dangerous?” she flirted back as he continued to stroke her body.

  “Oh yes, Cheri. Now, I am a firm believer in making the punishment fit the crime.” Sam raised her eyebrows. He was really enjoying this.

  “Crime, Laurent? What crime?” she flirted back innocently.

  “Really, Samantha? You don’t know what you did? Hmmm. Well, I guess I can see how that might be, given that there was more than just one, uh, infraction. So let’s see, let’s start with the most egregious: leaving against my wishes.” As he said this, he got up. It was very apparent just how much he was enjoying this as he was completely hard again.

  “Now, stay there, Cheri. You won’t want to make your punishment any worse than it already is.” He winked as he walked into the bathroom. When he came out, his hands were behind his back.

  “Samantha, can I trust you?” his voice had suddenly turned to that low sexy growl. Just hearing it gave Sam shivers.

  All she could manage was a breathy, “Yes, Laurent, you can trust me.”

  “Good. Now close your eyes, Samantha. Good girl. Keep them closed, no peeking.” She smiled, “Samantha, you’re not peeking, are you?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Very good, Cheri.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “Now, even though this is your punishment, I am going to make this easier on you. Lift your head up, that’s right,” he said as she did and he tied a scarf around her eyes. “There, now isn’t that easier than fighting to keep your eyes closed?”

  “Yes, Laurent, thank you.” she said breathily.

  “You’re welcome, Cheri. So polite. You think being polite will make your punishment any less?” he challenged.

  She smiled, “I hope not.” He laughed. It was good to hear him laugh after everything of late.

  “Tsk, tsk, tsk, Samantha. We’ve talked about this. How is it punishment if you like it? Hmmm, I may have to change my ways to teach you a lesson. You are a very challenging woman, you know that, Cheri?”

  “I like to keep it interesting.” She smiled again, she could hear him padding around the room. Not being able to see him heightened her senses and anticipation. Wondering what he was doing was making her that much hotter, wetter.

  “Touche, Cheri. So do I.” as he said this, she felt him grab her left wrist and tie what she figured was the bathrobe sash to it. She could feel him tie the other end to the headboard. Then, she heard him walk around to the other side of the bed do the same thing to her right wrist. He gave a tug as he fastened that one to the headboard ensuring she wasn’t going anywhere.

  “Like I said, the punishment should fit the crime, non?” he asked rhetorically. “Cheri, now, be a good girl and pull against those.” Sam did. Her arms were completely spread and she wasn’t going anywhere. “Very nice. Ok, now for your legs.” She could hear the enjoyment in his voice. He pulled her down a bit so that her body was completely taut as he fastened another sash to her left ankle, pulling it and fastening it to something on the bed frame and then the same with the right. She was completely spread eagle.

  “Now, Samantha, let me see you pull against your restraints with your arms and your legs.” Sam squirmed but there wasn’t much give at all. “Excellent. You’re not going anywhere.” He stated flatly as she heard him open the closet.

  “So, crime number one, leaving when I told you not to. I believe we have that remedied, don’t you?” again, a rhetorical question. Whack! Sam felt a belt? On her nipple. “I asked you a question, Samantha.” Or maybe not so rhetorical after all.

  “Yes, Laurent. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Better. Now then, you like it when I pinch your nipples hard, yes, Cheri?”

  “Yes, Laurent.” She knew better than to not answer.

  “So, again, I’m not sure if I’ll need to switch up my punishment tactics, because if you like this,” again, he whacked her nipples, this time rapid fire, back and forth. It felt like it was a belt tip, but it was something else. He was able to whip each nipple with such precision. It stung but it felt good. Really good. He kept at it, each slap getting harder and harder. Sam’s nipples were pounding but she wanted it more. She tried to arch her back to push her chest up. “Cheri, are you arching your back for me?”

  “Yes, Laurent.” It was almost a whisper

  “Mais, pourquoi, Samantha?”

  “It feels so good. I mean, it hurts, but I like it sooo much. I want more.” She panted. “Please, Laurent.” She knew that she was going to have to ask for it. “Please hit my nipples harder. Please. More.” He chuckled.

  “Oh, Samantha.” He wacked her quickly over and over again, alternating between nipples. The stinging was becoming unbearably painful, but the more it hurt the more she wanted. Then, he started alternating between nipples and her mound. “Oh!” she gasped.

  “You like that too, Cheri?” he asked as he kept at it, hitting all three spots over and over again, “Yes, Laurent. Please, please more.” She couldn’t understand it but the pain especially on her nipples, the stinging sensation was getting harder and harder and hurt more and more, and the more it did, the more she wanted. She was starting to feel her body start tingling, he was going to make her come just by whipping her nipples then suddenly he stuck his fingers in her and she exploded, screaming as he worked his fingers in and out as she came. When she finally stopped shuddering he started very lightly licking her very tender nipples. She moaned.

  “Does that feel good, Cheri?” he asked against her breasts as he continued to lick them.

  “Yes, but…”

  “But?” Laurent sounded genuinely surprised. He pulled her blindfold off so he could see her eyes. It took Sam a moment to adjust to seeing. Suddenly, she was embarrassed and could feel herself flush. “What is it, Cheri?”

  Sam couldn’t believe she was going to say this, “I want more.” She said quietly. He laughed and then bit her nipple hard which made her gasp. “Is that what you want more of?”

  “Yes, please, Laurent.” She answered closing her eyes as he pinched both nipples, hard, making her moan, as he straddled her so he could look at her.

  “Look at me, Samantha.” She opened her eyes. He pinched her nipples hard, really hard. She gasped, but kept her eyes open, “You like the pain, don’t you, Cheri?”

  Sam nodded and answered embarrassed, “Yes, Laurent.”

  He smiled, “Why are you embarrassed to tell me? You know, your body already tells me that you like it, you know that, right, Cheri?” Sam hadn’t really thought of that. She tried to shrug her shoulders, but couldn’t really. They both chuckled at that.


  Then, suddenly Laurent’s expression turned serious and he took his hands off her. She worried that something happened. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked… “You know, Samantha. We have a problem.”

  “What, what is it, Laurent?”

  A smile crept onto his face, “Well, if you like it so much when I punish you, then it’s not punishment! What are we going to do about that?” he broke out into a full grin and started tickling her. She started screaming and laughing. Now this, this was torture. She was laughing and screaming and squirming but of course she was tethered so her squirming was all in vain. “Ah ha! Finally, I have found true punishment!” Laurent laughed triumphantly.

  “No!” Sam laughed, “Stop! Stop!” but the more she yelled the more he tickled until he finally stopped. They were both panting and laughing. He reached over and gave her a gentle tap on the nose with what she could now see was a riding crop. When did he get that? She wondered. But now she understood what he was using on her earlier. She broke out into a huge grin.

  “You like the crop, Cheri.” It wasn’t a question.

  She nodded, “I guess I do.” He leaned down and kissed her lips. Then he started to untie her. He did her wrists first and then her ankles. She reflexively rubbed and turned and stretched everything. He rubbed her too as he freed her limbs.

  He stayed straddling her and looked down at her and said, “I love you, Samantha. Tell me you know that.”

  “Yes, Laurent, I know.” And before she could say anything more, he leaned down to kiss her and then, to prove it, made love to her.

  CHAPTER 4

  They showered together, lathering each other lovingly. Laurent grimaced when he saw some of the scratches on Sam’s shoulders from the paparazzi. He was so gentle when he washed those, he almost rubbed around them, like he wanted to avoid them. But the scratches were there, a reminder that they couldn’t stay in their little cocoon of a hotel room forever. They would have to go out and face the world eventually.