Moments Lost and Found

by Olivia Jake

  Sam just about choked. Steve shot her a look and Sam shrugged her shoulders as they both watched Laurent walk out onto stage, giving little miss bouncy a kiss on both cheeks as she practically fell all over herself beaming up at him. Sam could see he gave her shoulders a little squeeze before he let her go.

  “Sam?” Steve whispered.

  “I need a drink.” She said, but she wasn’t about to miss his speech. Plus, after witnessing whatever that was, she wasn’t sure her legs wouldn’t collapse if she were to try to walk just then.

  “Thank you, Stacy. It’s an honor and a pleasure to be back here at the ProMedia conference. I have to admit, it’s been a few years since the last time I was here, but aside from the disapproving looks from my fellow board members,” chuckles in the audience, “I think the time away has helped emphasize just how much can change in our industry in such a short period.” He paused as if reflecting, “When they asked me to be this year’s keynote speaker, it was right around the time The Network was launching. And the board wonders, with timing like that, why I’ve stayed away.” More laughter from the audience. “But seriously, they thought that with the new platform of The Network, I could speak firsthand of new markets, new models, audience viewing habits, and everything else that has changed within entertainment today.”

  Laurent continued with his speech, but Sam’s mind was elsewhere. She was half listening. She caught enough to know he was a gifted speaker, but that was no surprise. He was knowledgeable but comfortable and engaging, blending facts with anecdotes and insight. The audience seemed genuinely interested, and for what was often a very jaded group of people, that said a lot.

  After his speech ended, Sam grabbed Steve’s arm and said one word, “Bar.” They walked briskly to avoid the lines as Sam needed a drink quickly. Sam ordered a martini and forced herself not to throw the whole thing back in one shot. “Let’s go over to that corner,” Sam said to Steve, pointing to a remote table, “I want to be able to observe things first.”

  “Oh, Sam, this is not sounding good.” Steve was shaking his head, but knew that he’d be following her to the corner if that’s what she needed.

  “What? Just going to do a little recon on little miss bouncy-bounce and my frickin’ boyfriend.”

  “Mmmhmm, this is so sounding like a bad idea.”

  “Hey, I’m not the one who conveniently forgot to tell me he was speaking here with his, how did she say it, close personal friend.”

  “Yeah, jealous girlfriend does recon from afar on jealous ex. You’re right, this sounds like an amazingly bad idea.”

  “Oh ye of little faith. Oooh, look, there she is. Jesus could she find herself a bra that actually holds the girls in?” Steve spit his drink out and Sam started cracking up.

  “Sammy, that’s why I love you. Now, give me your napkin.” Sam complied while Steve wiped his mouth.

  They stood there in silence as they watched Stacy make the rounds, air-kissing every other person. Eventually, they saw Laurent walking through the crowd, stopping to make small talk, shake hands. Sam and Steve said nothing. They just watched. Until Stacy saw Laurent and broke out into an even bigger grin than the one she already sported. This time, they embraced, she whispered something in his ear and he laughed. Sam was watching all of this unfold right before her eyes. It was almost unreal until, as they broke their hug and Laurent straightened up. That’s when he looked up and locked eyes with Sam. Nope, this was definitely real.

  Sam knew that she immediately flushed. Steve grabbed her hand, “Sam, you ok?” he asked as they watched Laurent walk towards them, moving through the crowd, stopping to say hello to people along the way. Stacy stayed by his side as he moved. Sam wasn’t sure if he had invited her, but they would find out soon enough.

  “Super, Steve. Never better.” Sam said as she turned to Steve and flashed a huge fake grin. “Now talk to me.” Sam laughed. Steve knew the game she was playing.

  “And then she said, ‘I thought you said this flight was full!’” And then they both laughed together at the ‘punchline’. At that moment, Laurent finally made it to their table.

  “Samantha, I didn’t realize you were coming to this tonight.” He said coolly as he leaned to give her a kiss and she turned her head so that he got her cheek. He then acknowledged Steve with his usual, “Steve”.

  Steve nodded and returned with, “Laurent. Enjoyed your speech.”

  “Thank you.”

  Things were definitely tense as the four of them stood there, each waiting for someone to make a move, but soon got even more tense when the bouncy idiot said, “Laurent, aren’t you going to introduce me?”

  Laurent seemed pained, but had no choice to make the introductions, “Stacy, this is Samantha Davis and Steve, uh, Samantha’s creative director. They’re The Network’s agency of record.” Laurent’s lack of knowledge of Steve’s last name was the least of how pissed Sam was becoming. The fact that he didn’t introduce her as his girlfriend was glaringly obvious. She looked at Laurent incredulously who had a blank look on his face, then at Stacy who was still smiling idiotically, then at Steve who seemed semi paralyzed, unsure what to do next.

  Sam’s anger was starting to manifest itself in an odd way. She started laughing. Really, heartily laughing. Cracking up uncontrollably. Everyone at the table was looking at her, then at each other, then back at her. Every time she tried to stop, she’d bust up again. It was starting to get even more awkward than it was before the laughing. Finally, Steve cleared his throat and coughed and pat Sam on the back which finally ended the laughing jag.

  “I’m sorry, I, uh, was just thinking about the joke Steve was telling right before you two walked up.” Sam took a sip of her drink, “It was a really funny one.” Sam said lamely.

  “Delayed reaction.” Steve said shooting Sam a look.

  “So, Stacy, tell us, how do you and Laurent know each other?” Sam asked with forced enthusiasm.

  “I was his mentee!” she exclaimed with so much exuberance it was just one more thing that made Sam stiffen. “ProMedia has an awesome mentorship and leadership training program! Laurent taught me so much.” She winked at him and nudged him, “I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for everything he did for me. He’s an incredible man.”

  “Yes, he is isn’t he.” Sam replied with more snark than she wanted to let out. “Tell me, how long did your, uh, mentorship program, last?”

  Stacy gazed at him adoringly. Sam was pretty sure she actually batted her eyes. “Oh, the Executive Mentorship Program is a year-long curriculum that matches managers with executives. I just thank my lucky stars that I got paired with Laurent. You know, like, fate.” Stacy giggled. Sam couldn’t help but smile. Steve saw this and thought she might erupt into laughter again and put his hand on her back

  “Fate.” Sam repeated and looked at Laurent. His expression hadn’t changed, giving nothing away. “Well, that’s just awesome.” Sam said, emphasizing ‘awesome’, a word she never used. “Here’s to fate!” she said as she lifted her glass. Neither Laurent or Stacy had a glass so Sam clinked with Steve and then shot back the rest of her martini.

  “Well, hey it was great meeting you both. I hope you’ll be coming to the conference over the next couple of days, we’ve got some really amazing speakers! Though probably not as awesome as Laurent.” Again, she giggled.

  Sam smiled, “He’s a tough act to follow.”

  Stacy nodded animatedly, “I know, right!?” then she looked at Laurent and said, “Oh, there’s my boss, I want to introduce you! I’ve told her so much about you already, I promised her I’d make the intro!” It seemed everything Stacy said came out with much more enthusiasm than there needed to be.

  “Well, Stacy, it was very enjoyable meeting you.” Sam said as she held out her hand. Stacy gave Sam her fingers in one of those dead fish handshakes that wasn’t a shake at all. Sam wasn’t sure what to do with her fingers so she just kind of squeezed them.

  “Enjoy the party you two! Hope
to see you around later!” turning to Laurent she said, “Come on, you’re just going to love my boss!” Laurent looked at Sam, didn’t say a word, and then turned to leave, following Stacy through the crowd.

  Once they were out of earshot, Steve turned to Sam and said, “Ummm, so, another drink?”

  Sam chuckled, “I think I’d need way more than just one more drink to make this evening go away. In fact, I think I need to do just that, go.”

  “Right behind you.” Steve said, leading her through the crowd and out the door. As they were walking out, Sam made a point not to look for Laurent. She’d seen enough.

  When they got outside, the night air was a refreshing change from the stuffiness of the ballroom, and the relative quiet of the street, versus the din of cocktail chatter, helped calm Sam as they waited for the valet to bring their cars around.

  “You going to be ok to drive?” Steve asked with genuine concern.

  “Are you worried I might start uncontrollably laughing again and get into an accident?”

  “Stranger things have happened.” He shrugged.

  Sam chuckled, “I think that’s the understatement of the evening.”

  “So, now what?”

  “You got me, Steve. I guess I go home and drive myself crazy wondering what the hell just happened?”

  “I could come with you, you know keep you company if you like.”

  “That’s sweet, but I’ll be fine. Honest.” They both knew she wouldn’t be, but there wasn’t really anything else to say or do. Sam’s car pulled up, “Thanks for always having my back, Steve. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled at her as they hugged and then Sam got in her car and drove home.

  Sam was in bed, desperately trying to turn her mind off, willing herself to go to sleep, when she heard the garage door open. She wasn’t sure whether she was happy or mad that he was coming over. She sure as hell wasn’t going to get out of bed to greet him, that much she knew. She heard the door open and close and then both Max and Ben’s tails started wagging. Traitors, she thought.

  The house was dark, and he came straight into the bedroom. Sam could see him standing in the doorway as both dogs came up to greet him. He stood there for a moment, petting them saying, ‘hey guys, good boys’ and the like.

  “I’m going to turn on the light.” He said. Sam noted he didn’t ask and she didn’t reply. As proper as he could be, there were plenty of times when he didn’t feign politeness.

  When the light came on, Sam propped herself up in bed. She just looked at him. She wasn’t going to fill the awkward silence by starting the conversation. Laurent walked around to her side of the bed and sat on the edge, facing her. He must have shed his jacket and tie in the car as he was just in his shirt, the first two buttons undone, and sleeves rolled up.

  “I should have told you I was speaking there tonight.” He said simply.

  “Yes, you should have. Why didn’t you?” she asked, not sure she really wanted to know the answer.

  “Because I know Stacy. I know how she can be. Especially after a couple glasses of wine, she can get very, uh, amorous.” He paused and then added, “And, because I didn’t want to be having this conversation.”

  “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if you had told me.”

  “Perhaps.” He took a deep breath.

  “Why did you come over then? If you didn’t want to have ‘this’ conversation?”

  “Because I knew I needed to explain myself.” He said with resignation.

  “The floor’s all yours.”

  “Like Stacy said, I was her mentor through the Executive Program at ProMedia.” Sam waited for the rest.

  “And if that’s all there were to it, then we wouldn’t be here right now.”

  “And, our relationship was more than just mentor / mentee.” He seemed embarrassed to admit.

  “Yeah, that wasn’t obvious.” She said derisively.

  “Samantha, this is why I react the way I do when you go out with Mark.” He said, trying to turn the conversation. Sam was calm up until he said that. Now, she exploded.

  “Laurent, how can you even compare the two? I never slept with Mark! And he doesn’t gaze adoringly at me, gushing about all that I taught him! I don’t know if she’s talking about in the boardroom or in the bedroom! And, I never tried to keep Mark a secret! I tell you when we’re going out. The fact that you tried to hide this from me, that’s the worst part of it all. I know we both have pasts, but do you realize how guilty you look by avoiding telling me you were the keynote speaker? I don’t know if it’s because you just hoped to avoid this whole situation or because of something else.”

  “Something else?” he almost dared her.

  “Do you really want me to spell it out for you?” Sam shot back. She wasn’t imagining things. She saw the way they were together, before he realized she was there.

  “I guess you’re going to have to, Samantha.” So that was it. He was going to make her the bad guy. She couldn’t believe she was about to ask him if he was planning on sleeping with her. She started to feel sick to her stomach. After everything they had been through, and everything that they had shared, Sam never once questioned Laurent’s faithfulness. Before this, it never even entered her mind. Was she an idiot for assuming that he would be faithful? No, she knew this man. She knew how he felt about her. He was becoming more and more loving as their time together progressed. She knew all of the reasons why she’d never suspect him of straying. But she couldn’t ignore what she saw, and she couldn’t ignore what he did, or didn’t do, by not telling her.

  If Sam didn’t ask him, then what? Would she just pretend like this never happened? She knew she couldn’t just forget it. But if she did ask him, what if she was totally wrong? What if she were imagining things? She knew how offended he would be. She had no choice. She had to ask him. She wouldn’t be able to move on if she didn’t.

  With the knowledge of what she was about to ask, Sam’s tone changed completely. In a flat, calm voice, she simply asked, “Were you planning on sleeping with her?”

  “If that’s what you think, then I might as well have.” He said with no tone.

  “That’s not an answer. And that’s not true.” She said calmly even though inside her heart was beating a mile a minute. She knew that if she unfolded her arms her hands would be shaking.

  “No, Samantha. I wasn’t.” He was like ice. His tone, his look, it was the same way he treated her that time in his office. It was amazing how quickly this man could just turn everything off.

  Sam didn’t know if she really expected him to admit it even if he had planned on it. “Then why did you try to keep this from me?”

  “I told you, because I didn’t want to have to explain myself.”

  “So you have a crystal ball now? You just knew that I’d react this way?” Sam’s calm tone was gone, she was back to angry. Laurent’s demeanor didn’t change though. He just sat there with his arms folded against his chest, as if he were tired of this discussion.

  Laurent shrugged and said, “I know women.”

  That was it. That was the last straw. Sam wasn’t sure he had ever insulted her. But if he was trying to make an impression with his first insult, he succeeded. So, to him, Sam was the same as Stacy, was the same as half of the auditorium in there. Wow.

  “I cannot believe you just said that, that you have the nerve to lump me in the same group as that bimbo? That you were even attracted to her is,” Sam thought for a moment, and she realized what it was, “it’s embarrassing.”

  “It was just sex, Samantha.” He said dismissively, and that this would make everything ok.

  “I’m so relieved.” She said sarcastically. “Look, Laurent, it doesn’t concern me who you slept with before me. I get that there are women in your past. I’m not irrational. But keeping tonight from me,” she paused, “just imagine if I had done the same to you. You would be furious.” He nodded.

  “You want to know something? As gorgeous and successful and c
harming as you are, I assume women are throwing themselves at you constantly. And up until tonight, it never even crossed my mind that you might not be faithful. Because you’ve never given me reason to wonder or worry about it. But tonight, trying to keep this from me, you gave me reason. I’m not wrong on this Laurent.” All he did was nod.

  “You know, the way you act when I’m working out with Craig, or when I go out with Mark, or God, even when a waiter flirts with me, mon dieu, Laurent, you go nuts.”

  “I know men, too.” He said with a lopsided smile as he raised his eyebrows.

  “And you know me, Laurent. Do you really think that I would ever be unfaithful to you?”

  He thought for a moment. She couldn’t believe that his response wasn’t immediate, “I guess I never thought about it that way.” Sam looked at him, confused, “I never thought about your roll, I always just saw the men and… I know how men’s minds work. I assume when Craig sees you in your tight tank top and yoga pants that he’s thinking the same thing I’m thinking. And on top of it, he’s touching you. And all I can think is what I’d be doing to you if I were him.”

  “So, when you get jealous, you don’t even consider me in the equation? That I have a say?” She realized that he actually didn’t. Part of her was insulted, but another part was relieved.

  “No, Samantha, I don’t.” he said flatly.

  “Do you realize how offensive that is? The notion that women don’t have a say, and that we just blindly go with whatever man makes a pass at us?”

  “That’s a lot more rational thought than I’ve ever given it.” His tone was still so even, the fact that he wasn’t riled was almost as frustrating and unnerving as the conversation itself.

  “Perhaps because you’re not thinking with your head up here.” She pointed to her head. And finally the mood lightened a bit. “Look, Laurent, I understand you’ve never had to explain yourself to anyone. I get it. But if we’re going to be together, then you’re going to have to sometimes. All you had to tell me was that you were giving a speech and the director of events was someone you had a relationship with in the past and that she might be all over you. I wouldn’t have liked the image, but at least I would have known what I was walking into.”